Beast (14 page)

Chapter 8
 

A
s I thought more about what I had done, the guilt almost became unbearable. I was not proud of letting my anger take hold of me.
What would Papa or Mother have thought about my actions?
My selfishness was about to rip apart a family.

Buttons came to me, noticing that I was distraught. He began to rub against my leg as I sat in the chair in my father’s study. Then he jumped in my lap. I thought about what I would be gaining if Mirabelle came instead of her father. Once I began thinking about her, my guilt started to fade. I realized that I was justifying my behavior again; however, I was curious about Mirabelle.

“What do you think she looks like?” I asked Buttons.

He looked at me and meowed.

“Yeah, you are right, Buttons; I have all week to think about it.” I laughed.

I became excited about the thought of having another human in the castle again. It would be so nice to have someone to have a conversation with.

But how will she react when she sees what I look like?
I remembered how those who did not even know me were afraid of me while standing in the doorway or in the forest.

The next six days passed, and I became extremely nervous. The next day either the old man, Reynard, or his youngest daughter, Mirabelle, would come to the castle.

When I started to think about Mirabelle, I realized that the Rose House had not come into my mind’s eye at all this week. Even stranger than that, no visions had come at all. It did not make much sense.

As I walked to my room, I realized that I had made a mistake in what I had done to that poor old man. All he wanted to do was to be with his family. He already had lost his son, and now he was about to lose a daughter because of me. I felt I was becoming more of what my outward appearance was: a beast.

While contemplating what I should do, I sat on my bed. Once I sat down, Buttons came over to lie on my lap, looking at me. It was then that I realized what I needed to do; I could not make Mirabelle stay if she did not want to.

I did not want to be the reason why a family was no longer together. If I were, I would not be any better than that awful creature that had killed my parents, torn apart my family, and turned me into this hideous beast. My heart began to sink into my stomach.

As the day turned into night, I made my way to the roof to watch the stars. I thought about how my parents would have been ashamed of what I had become. But the difference between that creature in the woods and me was that I could fix what I had done; I could let Mirabelle leave so that she could be reunited with her family.

My gaze was fixed on the horizon as the sun began to rise. It was exactly a week since Reynard had left my castle. I was not sure what would happen on this day, but I attempted to look my best.

After I had fully grown into my new body, the Invisibles had made me clothes so that I could feel comfortable.

While looking through the clothes they had made, I picked out my favorite item. It was a blue velvet coat with gold trim on the edges. It also had golden buttons with roses engraved on them. Also, I wore brown pants that had an extra hole for my tail. Underneath my blue velvet coat, I wore a white dress shirt.

After I changed, I walked into the dining room and sat on the couch.

“Please, Invisibles, allow Mirabelle or Reynard to find their way to the castle. Also, when either one of them arrives at our castle, will you please have a warm meal on the table? It is a long journey from their house to here,” I said to the Invisibles.

Unfortunately, I did not know when someone would show up, but I did know that he or she would have to become lost before finding the way to the castle.

In the dining room, I nervously paced between the window and the wall by the fireplace. Buttons was on top of the couch, watching me. Because of how much I was pacing, I felt as though I were wearing a hole into the ground. I began to sweat. If I did not stop, I would have to change my clothes.

After some time, I picked up Buttons and went into the library to pass the time. I moved to the window on the second floor of the library to look outside. It seemed like a nice fall day outside; the sun was shining brightly.

As far as I could see, there were no clouds in the sky. Then I put my hand on the window while shutting my eyes. I did not know if I was ready for this day.

“How long will she want to be here?” I said into the air. “She probably thinks that I am a horrid beast of a man. Well, she probably just thinks that I am what I look like—a beast. I have not done anything for her to believe otherwise.”

I opened my eyes, turned away from the windows, and walked down the steps to the first floor of the library.

After I set my feet on the wooden floor, I walked over to the Rose House to gaze at it.

“Oh, how I wish that I could meet you,” I whispered to the beautiful young woman in the Rose House. “But I know that could never happen. You probably are not even real, just a figment of my imagination. I think about you and pray for you. If you are real, I hope that you will find someone who will be able to love you better than I probably ever could.”

I looked toward the window for Buttons, but he was not there any longer.

I decided to go back downstairs to ask for the fire to be lit.

As I sat on the couch, I turned to the windows, noticing that the sun was almost about to set. I should have known that no one was going to come.

Even if neither Mirabelle nor Reynard came, I was not about to do what I had said and retrieve him myself and rip their family apart more. It was how it should be: their family was together, and no one but Buttons and I were in the castle.

With my head down, I walked through the hallway lined with paintings. I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath. I had actually looked forward to her coming, though I was not proud of the way I had gone about it.

I made my way into the foyer, walked over to the stairs, and sat on the steps next to Buttons, who was cleaning himself.

It was almost completely dark when I sat down. The Invisibles were lighting the candles throughout the castle for the night.

As I sat there watching Buttons, a vision came into my mind’s eye.

In this vision, I saw a horse making its way through a forest. On the horse was a female rider wearing black boots, a purple skirt, and a black blouse. When I tried to look at her face, it was blurry. Because of this, I figured that the vision was of Evaline or Nadine from the Rose House.

But all of a sudden I saw a tree with claw marks near the rider, which was a tree near the castle. I had created the marks when the pad of my right foot was pierced before I frightened off those riders a century ago.

A little while later, the gate of the castle appeared in the vision. As soon as I recognized it, I shook my head to make the vision disappear. This had never worked before, but this time it did. So I ran upstairs to Papa’s study.

Once at the window, I peered out and saw the rider and her horse at the gate. It was Mirabelle, I assumed. As soon as I realized it was her, my stomach began to turn and my palms began to sweat. Then my body began to shake from nerves.

As she came into the yard of the castle, she dismounted and walked to the barn. From time to time, she turned her head toward the gate, which had closed behind her. It seemed as if she were questioning whether she had done the right thing.

After she settled her horse in the barn, she made her way to the front door. Before she came into the castle, I ran to the top of the stairs so that I could study her, as I had done with her father.

Once I was at the top of the stairs, the wooden doors began to open slowly, creaking loudly, and she walked in. I looked down the stairs, and Buttons was no longer there.

“Hello? Is anyone here?” Mirabelle asked as she walked further into the castle.

I tried to stay as silent as I could. But with the shaky breaths coming out of my mouth, it was difficult.

The wooden doors closed behind her with a
boom
, causing her to turn around quickly. Once she turned, I took a few steps down the stairs in an attempt to see her better.

Mirabelle continued forward into the hallway with the paintings. The Invisibles began leading her into the dining room.

I slowly followed behind, waiting for the right time to show myself.

On the dining-room table, there was dinner for her to eat. She looked around, carefully studying the room.

In the darkness of the hallway, I hid from her but still tried to watch. As I did, she walked over to the couch and placed her hand on it. Mirabelle ran her fingers around the edges and then turned her head toward me. I jumped back into the darkness of the hallway, hoping she did not see me.

Mirabelle walked over to the table and noticed that there was only one plate.

“I can feel you watching me,” she said in a stern voice as she turned toward the hallway where I was.

“I did not want to frighten you,” I explained.

“You do not sound as scary as Papa explained,” she began. “He told us that you were this hideous beast whose voice could make our hair stand on end.”

“Oh, well, what do you think of my voice?”

“You sound kind, but a voice can deceive. Will you come into the light and out of the darkness? I would like to see the face of my master.”

Her confidence caught me off guard. I had not been sure what to expect, but I certainly had not expected this.

I was hesitant to show myself to her. I figured that I already knew how she would react—with terror, just as everyone else had—but I was hopeful that she would not judge me as quickly as everyone else. As I thought about it, I realized that she had every right to judge me harshly.

I slowly began to walk forward into the dining room; my heart began to pound, sinking into my stomach. I began to sweat profusely, and a lump formed in my throat.

When I stepped into the dining room, I carefully watched her facial expressions. Once I moved into the light, the look on her face changed from nonchalance to almost terror. She let out a quiet gasp, but it was loud enough for me to hear it.

“C-come closer,” she instructed me a little less confidently.

This took me by surprise; I had not expected her to be so brave after she saw me.

As I came closer to her, my breathing became rapid and shallow, my heart felt as if it were in my throat, and I could feel my heart pound through my veins.

Once I was close enough to see her face, I could not speak. My eyes widened; my hands began to tremble. I felt as if my heart skipped a beat. I could not believe what my eyes were looking at.

The young lady standing in front of me staring at my appearance was none other than the one my heart loved. In that moment, my heart began to beat even faster. I did my best to control myself, because all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and tell her I was in love with her.

She was real! Not only was the one my heart loved from the Rose House real, but she was also standing in my living room. I could not believe my eyes. At first I thought that I was imagining all of this.

“I hope that I have not frightened you,” I finally was able to say as I looked to the ground.

“Not really,” she told me. She took a step closer to me. “My name is Caressa Mirabelle Delacroix, but everyone calls me Mirabelle.”

“It is nice to meet you. Please sit and eat; you have had a long journey.”

“I have no appetite right now; I am sorry, master.”

“Let me show you to your room,” I told her.

We walked through the servants’ quarters of the castle to her room. She walked behind me slowly and silently. Every so often, I turned my head, only to see the light of the candles catching the tears running down her cheeks.

“This is your room,” I informed her.

In my mind, I asked the Invisibles to open the door.

The room that I had led her to was one of the rooms where my mother used to draw and paint. It had different canvases all over the walls. Many pictures showed scenes of nature, especially roses, her favorite flowers. Some nights Mother would sleep on the bed in there when she would paint late. It was a room that was full of life and love.

“Thank you, master,” she said as she walked into her new room.

“Mirabelle, please do not call me ‘master’ or ‘my lord.’”

“What shall I call you then?”

“Beast. Call me Beast.”

She nodded as she looked around the room.

I was about to leave but turned around.

“If there is anything that I can do to make you more comfortable here, please let me know.”

“Thank you,” she said, “Beast.”

I walked away from her, leaving her to her room.

As I walked, I started to think about Mirabelle. I could not believe that she was the one from the Rose House. But then I thought,
Although I am already in love with her, what reason would she ever have to love me in return?

For the first few days, or even weeks, she stayed in her room. While I had hoped that she would come to breakfast and dinner, I had not expected her to.