“The check,” I said, drying my baby’s tears.
“It’s already taken care of. Courtesy of Spencer Domino,” he said, nodding toward the bar.
Raising my brows, I was impressed. I’d thank Spencer later. Focusing on my child, Sandara was in a trance.
“It’s just so hard for me. I give all my love to my children. Mama, I need someone to make me feel like a woman. I love my babies but why don’t their daddies love me anymore? They don’t even try to help us out.”
I told my daughter, “It’s hard for a man to fall in love with a woman who never gives him a reason.” Those were the exact words my mother had spoken to me when I was twenty-five.
Sandara cried aloud.
I wish I had all the answers. God knew I didn’t want any of my children to end up like me but with four girls the odds weren’t in my favor.
“Hush, honey. God doesn’t give us any more than we can handle. Just make sure your new boyfriend doesn’t eat before you feed my grandbabies.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And, I’ll see you at church Sunday with my grands.”
“Yes, ma’am,” my baby said, picking up the bag.
I watched her walk away. Praying I could save her, I knew I couldn’t. Sunday couldn’t come fast enough but I was going to enjoy the night.
Church didn’t make me a saint. God didn’t make me a sinner. The pastor couldn’t save me from the devil. And Alexis was not taking Spencer from me.
CHAPTER 13
Spencer
D
ang!!!! How much longer you gonna be?
Charlotte texted.
Just closed out boo. Waiting on your food then I’m in motion.
I had to lie to my gurl or she’d hop in her ride, jet over here, and give me drama.
I slipped my cell in my pocket. Focused on Blake sitting at the table alone. She stared into her half-full glass, stirred the olives repeatedly. The way her daughters bailed one at a time I was sure that wasn’t how she expected her evening to end when she got here. Sensing her loneliness increased my odds of making Blake my sexual conquest tonight.
“Still figuring it out, huh, playa?” LB said, picking up his customers’ cocktails. “She looks V to me, Spence. Go for it.”
We used the first letter for words like
vulnerable, booshie, freak, desperate
. We dismissed spittin’
THOT
(that ho over there),
ho,
and
bitch,
although there were times when I seriously came close to calling Charlotte a bitch.
The six highboy tables aligned in the center of the bar area were full. Same was on the real for the booths in my section. There was a crowd of people near the door.
Derrick approached me. “Spencer, you want to close? I could use you.”
Shaking my head, normally I’d take the extra. My time out was official in ten minutes and a brotha had to be avail for his intentions.
Firmly, I replied, “No can do. Not tonight, man.”
I couldn’t let Blake soak on her birthday. If we were going to hang, she had to perk up. I was not slinging dick for a depressed broad. A customer paid their tab. I placed a martini at the spot as they were leaving, covered it with a napkin. “Sorry, this seat is reserved,” I told the next person.
Walking up to Blake, I picked up her cocktail. “Come chill at the bar for a sec,” I said, reaching for her hand. I noticed en route she staggered a notch or two.
Pulling out the same stool she sat in earlier, I told her, “Relax. I got you.”
A ten-thousand-dollar fine and incarceration was not the way I wanted this beautiful woman to end her night. If she got a DUI, that was exactly what would happen in Georgia. I drained both of her drinks. Gave her a tall glass of cold water.
“And who else you got?” she replied. “My daughter?”
Whoa. Don’t tell me fifty is on one too like Charlotte.
“I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay. That’s all.” That wasn’t completely true but it would be if she threw tude my way again. I had enough problems with my gurl.
“I apologize,” she said. “Why are you being considerate of me?”
Could be considerate of her daughter, too, but that Alexis was certifiable on some Mars dominating-type shit. Couldn’t lie, Alexis had my attention. I did not sense Blake had low self-esteem. Maybe the big five-O had kicked in making her feel some type of way about her daughter.
“Why not?” I told her. “You don’t believe you deserve to be treated nice for no reason? You’re gorgeous.”
Her lips curved.
“That’s what I’m talking ’bout. Chill here for a few while I close out my shift.”
“I’m going to shop. Maybe that’ll cheer me up.”
And sober her up. I dug into my pocket, folded two C-notes, placed them in her palm. “Buy us something. I gotta make a run. I’ll get back in an hour. You’ll get off for two. I promise.”
She was quiet. At fifty, she should be grown up to answer direct. I needed a response or I could go to Charlotte’s and chill.
“Here you go, bruh,” LB said, handing me a to-go bag with my food. He patted me on the back.
The order was originally for Charlotte. Now it was mine. I needed the sixty minutes to go home, shower, change, and meet Blake back here. Hopefully the menu selects would be ours if Blake opened her mouth.
“Thanks, man. I’m out in a sec.” I looked at Blake. Her eyes were glossy, lids were midway. “Meet me outside of Sprinkles at eight-fifteen.”
“In an hour?” she asked, then nodded.
Good. She was paying attention.
I confirmed, “In exactly one hour.”
CHAPTER 14
Alexis
S
pencer offered his number. I declined. Never gave him mine.
The charade added a layer of mystique to fuckable-azz Mr. Domino. His sexual energy sparked heat from my Good Good. Not many individuals could do that. I was positive my mom wouldn’t spread for him.
I squashed females who laid claim to what wasn’t theirs just to prove my point. The way I saw it, everything was fair game. But if a bitch didn’t have game, they’d already tapped out. If I changed my mind and took Domino up on his offer to hit this pussy, I knew where he worked.
Mom was probably back home with Fortune watching television. I had no regrets for what I’d said to her earlier about my dad, I just wished I’d waited another day. Mercedes was known for being condescending. I had bad timing and a worse temper. My upside was I didn’t hold grudges. Devereaux was passive-aggressive. Sandara was quick to splash her drink, easily charmed by lames, and cared too much about what others thought of her.
I didn’t give a fuck about an opinion rendered!
I texted my mom,
Enjoy the rest of your birthday. 2mrw will b tons of fun! Can’t wait for your makeover. Love you!
An apology might’ve sent mixed messages. I’d continue the convo when I saw her. Parking outside my gurl’s apartment building at Atlantic Station, I texted Chanel,
I’m downstairs.
Waiting for her, I texted James,
Meet me at my place in two hours.
Flirting with Domino made me juicy and put me in the mood for my guy’s dick. I didn’t step out on James because he wasn’t great in bed, I diversified because I wanted to. Men cheated remorse-free and so did I. Chanel had to work tonight. Taking her on a dinner date before she clocked in, plus seeing her after I was done doing James, would make her happy. I didn’t regret leaving my food at the Cheesecake but I felt famished for more than fish.
“You look sweet, C,” I told her soon as she got in the car. “Where you want to eat?”
She had on jewel-beaded flat sandals and a green, orange, and yellow tropical dress. Without shoes, C was five-six, one inch taller than I. Her maxi was sleeveless and she was braless. The seatbelt separated her breasts. I noticed her nipples were hard.
I leaned sideways, gestured for a kiss. Her chocolate lipstick mixed with my red. “Suite Food Lounge or Stats is cool,” she suggested, then said, “You think about what I asked?”
“Suite it is,” I decided, driving south.
Chanel loved the lemon pepper wings drenched in lemon juice, smothered in black pepper, and the hot ones were my favorite. I talked a text to Al the manager, “You at work, question mark. My girl and I are coming through period.”
William Alfred Williams replied,
The usual table, drinks, and food?
“You got me set?”
4sho but don’t start no shit tonight Alexis. Cool?
“Cool.”
Halfway there, Chanel asked again, “You think about what I asked you?”
I waited for the signal light to turn green, then I made a U-turn, and headed back toward her place to drop that bitch off.
“Fine, Alexis. I won’t ask again,” she said.
Making another U-turn we were silent until I valet-parked at Suite. I knew she was feeling some type of way but better for her to be salty than me.
We sat at our usual table for two in front of the projection screen. I avoided the hookah side of the lounge. The setup over there was nice but the people smoking were amped. I didn’t need any influences in my system outside of my mai tai.
After we settled in for five minutes, our food and drinks arrived. C gazed at me with sad eyes then looked away.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I want us to have a baby,” she said.
Unexpectedly, my drink spritzed in her direction. I wiped my mouth. “No, C. Where is this coming from?”
“I’m starting to get tired of dancing. We can adopt.”
“How are we supposed to support a kid? Nah, you haven’t thought this through.”
I’d lost my appetite. She nibbled on her wings and sweet potato fries. There was no way I was leaving James for C. I knew that’s where the baby idea came from. She’d have to work to support us. I’d become a stay-at-home mom.
“You love me, Alexis?”
“C, you know I do.”
“Then say it.”
Shaking my head, I told my gurl, “Eat up. I gotta go.”
CHAPTER 15
Blake
W
as Spencer flirting to bait me in, or was he sincerely attracted to me?
My cell rang. I sat on a bench outside the Cheesecake Factory. It was the man I’d put out yesterday. I pressed the button on my Bluetooth, then answered, “What?”
Switching from checking out athletic gear in the window, I began people-watching.
“Where are you?” Fortune demanded.
Though the day was almost over and he’d blown up my phone earlier, filled up my voice-mail box, now that I answered there was no “happy birthday.” No “how are you doing?” No “I apologize.” Nothing. There was no remorse in Fortune’s voice.
“Com’on, Blake. I can’t take this. I’m tired of being in my car. How long you gon’ be?”
My jaw dropped. “I don’t have to answer to you and you’d better not be at my house.”
“Where else am I supposed to be?”
Spencer approached me. “You chill?” he asked.
I nodded, smiled. I clenched the cash he’d given me in my hand. “I’m good. See you shortly.”
“Who was that I heard? What you mean you’ll see him shortly? You’d better not be giving away my stuff.”
Looking at the time on my cell, calmly I replied, “I’m busy, Fortune. Good-bye.”
“Hurry home,” he said, ending the call as if we were still together.
From now on what I did with my pussy was my business. Maybe treating myself to some dick would cheer me up. Admiring Spencer until he was out of view, I could be a damn fool, an old fool, or just plain stupid if I allowed this young man to seduce me any further. Or he could become my inspiration to try new things. Walking through the Nike store, I entered the mall. Opening my hand, what felt like two bills, was. I figured they were twenties. They were hundreds. The new, crisp, colorful ones.
What I needed to do with this cash was give it back. Didn’t want to feel obligated. Spencer hadn’t done anything to make me feel sex was all he wanted but my spending his hard-earned money didn’t seem right.
I texted Brandon for advice letting him know,
He gave me $200 to buy us something.
Brandon texted back,
Make sure it’s sexy bitch! Cute shit is for little girls!
Walking into The Body Shop, I sampled a fragrance, then thought about Sandara. I handed the cashier my gift card, took a picture of my two items, then texted the pic to my baby.
Spencer didn’t ask for my number. He gave me the option to contact him. Didn’t act as though he’d be upset if he never saw me again. I strolled past a few stores then entered Aldo’s. Tried on a few pair of red high heels. Bought the sexiest open-toe pair then went to Victoria’s Secret. Bought a black lace nightie and a red thong.
Glancing at my watch, I saw it was eight-thirty. I grabbed my bag and receipt then hurried toward the cupcake store praying I hadn’t missed him. Was I supposed to wait inside the mall, the store, or out front? I stood still for a moment then exited through the turnabout. I looked right toward the Cheesecake Factory, scanned the parking lot across the street, then glanced to my left.
“Would you like me to get your car?” the valet asked.
I’d almost forgotten I’d given him my keys. “Yes. Please,” I said, handing him my ticket. When he drove up, people started taking pictures of my car. I’d probably had one too many drinks because why else would I be frantically in search of a stranger?
What I wanted right this minute was what I needed. My own Nikko. The man I’d gotten rid of was toxic. I refused to spend another day living for . . . him.
My cell rang. It was my unwanted ex. Just when I motioned to press my Bluetooth and tell Fortune to leave me the hell alone, I heard, “Don’t answer that.”
Turning around, I looked up and directly into his eyes. I’m not shy and don’t know why I looked down but there was his dick imprint.
Yeah, he was hung.
Spencer took my bags, then spoke with authority. “Let’s go, birthday woman. I’ve got plans for you.”
Softly, I said, “My car is right here.”
His eyes widened. His closed-lip smile slowly grew larger. “If you don’t mind my spinning your wheels, I can come back and get my car tomorrow.”
Dropping my keys into his hand, I said, “Let’s go.”