Baby Love (22 page)

              "Well there is one other thing," I started.

              He cocked an eyebrow, waiting for me to finish.

              "Nigel and Tess are coming.  So are Landon and Caroline," I finished.

              "Are you shitting me?" he said sitting upright, dropping his I-Pad.

              "What is Mom thinking?"

              "It will probably be alright honey," I soothed him.

              "Are you really okay with still going?" he asked.

              "Hey - I am if you are.  I'm sure we will be entertained," I laughed.

              He gave me his signature smile, pulling me over onto his lap.  He tilted my chin upward and his lips found mine, kissing them softly and sensually.  I laced my arms around his neck and returned his kiss, pressing myself closer to him; fisting my hands in his thick hair.  He smelled so good.  He tasted so good.  His hands gently rubbed my back and we continued kissing and loving one another.

              Our kiss was interrupted by a screeching succession of "Boo's!"

              Trey pulled away startled by the loud ghost sounds coming from the corner.

              "What the hell?" he asked.

              I started giggling watching Preston as she continued to press the spot on the stuffed ghost making it go "Boo!"

              "Oh that's a toy that Gina brought over today for the baby," I replied.

              "That figures," Trey replied rolling his eyes.

              He went over to the playpen and tried to get Preston interested in something else.  She was having none of it.  She held on to her plush ghost and took it to bed with her that night.  Trey and I could hear the sound of 'Boo' every so often coming from the nursery.  We could hear her giggles too.  We wouldn't be getting that toy away from her anytime soon.

CHAPTER 16

              Karla was scribbling her notes as usual during my session with her.  So far I had done all the talking; relaying all that had happened from the time Maggie had taken Preston to the present.  I took a drink of water when I paused giving her time to catch up.

              "Tylar - I need to ask you how you and Trey interacted during the period when Preston was gone."

              "Well - I mean we were both emotionally drained but we were there for each other.  He was angry when I took off for Indiana on my own but other than that we were strong for each other."

              "Good," she replied.  "Since the baby has been home how are things between you and Trey?"

              Why was she asking so many questions about Trey and me?

              "They've been fine. We are very happy."

              "What about your return to work?"

              "That isn't going to happen."

              "Why not?" she pressed.

              "Because there is no one to watch the baby and because Trey realizes that it was not a good idea.  I mean come on, look what that caused."

              "So you believe that you going back to work directly caused Preston to be abducted?"

              "I'm saying that it certainly gave my wacko mother, aunt - whatever the hell she is to me the opportunity to snatch my baby, yes."

              "Who is watching Preston right now?"

              "My best friend Gina."

              "Have you considered searching for a babysitter in the future in case you choose to do something outside of the home?"

              "Karla I'm not sure why you are posing these questions to me.  I know that Maggie is locked up and that she can't get access to the baby or me any longer. We

are safe."

              "Tell me how safe feels, Tylar."

              "For me it feels as though I don't have to worry about when or where Maggie might pop up in my life; or what further pain she has planned for me."

              "Why do you think Maggie wanted to hurt you?"

              "Because she hated me.  Isn't that obvious?"

              "What would have caused her to hate you?"

              I was getting impatient with her questions.  Where the hell was any of this going?

              "I don't know.  Maybe because I wasn't really her child; maybe because she resented having had to raise me; maybe because I cramped her style.  There are numerous possibilities I suppose.  Perhaps she had been jealous of my mother.  She certainly seemed to be jealous of me as I got older."

              "Do you still worry that you might be like her now that it's likely she is not your birth mother?"

              "I stopped worrying that I would be a whore like her after I had sex for the first time.  It was with Trey and I loved him.  I knew that I could never want any other man other than Trey.  I knew that love was the important component in intimacy - not physical sex.  Trey and I were intimate long before we had sex."

              "And what about other characteristics Maggie had that you felt you might have inherited?"

              "I worried that I could be abusive like she was.  The dreams were a reflection of that."

              "What do you feel
guilty
about Tylar?"

              "What makes you think that I feel guilty about anything?"

              I could feel myself getting defensive.  She was scratching the surface for something.  It felt like she was picking at an emotional scab.

              "What did you feel when you saw Preston's bruised bottom?"

              "I felt angry; I felt ashamed," I snapped.

              "Who were you angry with Tylar - who?"

              "Trey," I hissed, tears spilling out, running down my cheeks.

              "He made me go to work; he made me leave my baby when it was not safe to do so.  My dreams were a warning; I shared most of them with him but he didn't want to hear about them anymore.  They pissed him off!"

              I was sobbing now; she had managed to wrench my guts out with her questions.

              "Tell me about the shame you felt."

              "I felt shame that any blood relative of mine could have left bruises on an innocent baby girl's bottom," I cried, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.

              Karla handed me a tissue from the box that sat on top of her desk.  I took it from her wiping my cheeks.

              "Now tell me what you feel guilty about?"

              My throat was closing up; I couldn't breathe in her office.  Why was she badgering me like this?  I would never hurt my baby.  I could never be the person that Maggie had been.  She was still waiting for me to answer her question.

              "Because," I finally sobbed loudly, "Maybe if I had been a better person; stronger and braver back then, Maggie would have never had the opportunity to touch my baby!"

              "Back when Tylar?"

              "Back when she used to beat
me
!" I screamed.

              "I should have told someone!  My teachers knew and they wanted to help.  They asked me over and over again how I got my bruises.  I lied to cover up the truth.  I
lied
to all of them just to protect that fucking monster!"

              Karla was on her feet and by my side in an instant.  She hunkered down next to my chair, taking my hands into hers.  I was forced to look at her; I saw the compassion.  She had suspected there was more to my story all along.  She wanted to help.

              "Tylar," she spoke softly to me, "You were a child. You loved that person that you thought was 'Mom'.  You loved her unconditionally the same way that Preston now loves you.  You didn't deserve to be mistreated. You can't

blame yourself for not turning Maggie in to the authorities all those years ago for what happened to Preston recently.  You were a frightened child believing in some way that you needed to protect your mother even though she didn't protect you."

              I nodded, wiping my eyes with the tissue.  Karla handed me a fresh one as she settled back at her desk.  I blew my nose and tried to get my composure once again.

              "I know it was painful for you to come to grips with this today Tylar.  You've repressed this stuff for a long time but you have to believe me when I tell you that it's healthy that you came to terms with this finally."

              I nodded not trusting myself to speak.

              "Let's meet again in two weeks.  Between now and then I want you to make an effort to enjoy being around the baby and enjoy having time away from her as well.  Can you try that?"

              I nodded affirmatively, gathering my coat and purse

anxious to get the hell out of there.

______________________________________

              I was on the phone with Trey's mother when he got home that evening.  Preston was napping.  Trey grabbed a beer from the fridge, he leaned down and gave me a kiss heading to his office.  Tristan's party was going to have a Halloween theme since it was so close to the real thing. Susan said that everyone was to dress as a television or movie character. Trey and I would have to figure out what kind of costumes we would wear.  I liked the idea.

              I headed down to Trey's office.  He was on his Blackberry with some work business.  He smiled as I came in so I curled up in his lap. 

              I started nuzzling his neck and then lightly brushed kisses on him. I could tell by the conversation I had totally distracted him.  I lowered my hand to his lap fondling his manhood from outside of his trousers.  I felt it grow and harden beneath my touch. 

              Trey was trying to wrap up his phone conversation now.  I had started tracing my tongue around his ear breathing warmly into it.  He was squirming at this point.

              Just then I heard the ghost's "Boo!" from Preston's room.  My baby was up.  I launched myself out of Trey's lap just as he wrapped up his call.  I headed to her room.

              She was sitting up in her crib, clutching her plush ghost to her.  She smiled when she saw me, dropping it and holding her arms up for me to pick her up.

              Trey was beside me in a moment.

              "I see that my daughter has perfect timing," he grumbled slapping my behind affectionately.

              "Rain check baby?" I asked coquettishly, holding Preston close to me.

              "Absolutely," he replied, kissing the top of her head. 

              I changed her diaper then took her into our room to nurse for awhile.  We needed our 'girl time.'  I grabbed the remote and selected Nickelodeon which was playing an old 'Mr. Ed' episode.  That show was classic.  I got comfortable on my side and lifted my shirt as Preston nestled against me and nursed.  Trey came in about thirty minutes later just as Preston was finishing up.

              "Any left for me?" he asked seductively, stretching out across the bed.

              "I'm afraid I'm on empty sweetie," I said, fastening up my nursing bra and lowering my shirt.

              "Would you play with the baby while I make dinner?  It’s just going to be sandwiches tonight since I was out this afternoon."

              "Sure baby," he said, taking Preston into his arms as he got off of the bed.

              "That's right - you had a session with Dr. Hunter today.  How did that go?"

             
(Holy shit - I wasn't ready to get into the details with him yet.)

             
"Oh it was fine," I lied, heading toward the kitchen.

              When we sat down to eat I told Trey about the Halloween theme for Tristan's party.

              "What do you think we should go as?" I asked.

              "Hmmm, let me think. How about I'll go as a football player and you can be the slutty cheerleader," he smirked.

              I gave him a dirty look and continued thinking.

              "Oh I've got it, I've got it," he said excitedly, "We can go as two blue balls."

              "Blue balls?" I questioned puzzled.  "I'm not getting it?"

              "Yeah, neither am I," he snickered, grabbing his crotch.