Assassin's Honor (49 page)

           
"Oh my God."
Emma stared at the woman facing her. Cleo's expression had hardened into one of icy rage.

           
"I found it easier to live with his death on my conscience than letting that monster do it to another kid. And no one paid me to do it. The Sicari haven't killed for money in almost a century. In the past, it's how we survived. But we don't do that anymore, and we sure as hell don't kill for pleasure like the Praetorians do. We kill only to protect those who don't have the ability to protect themselves."

           
She contemplated the woman's words as she tried to come to terms with her own actions. The images from those brief moments in her father's study were still a blur. The one thing that stood out was the moonlight flashing off the sword and the way it slammed into the man's chest. She closed off the memory. Instinct or not, it changed nothing. She'd still taken a life. And instead of letting Ares help her, she'd shoved him away.
Ordered him to keep away from her.
It wasn't the first time she told him not to come near her, but this was different. She'd made it clear she blamed him for everything that had happened to her. Worse, she hated herself for refusing to admit that she bore just as much responsibility as he did. She hadn't listened to him, and now she was a Sicari, capable of killing.

           
"You grew up with this, I didn't," she said angrily. "So forgive me for wishing it had never happened."

           
"What?
The fact that you killed someone hell-bent on killing you?"

           
"Yes, goddamn it," she exclaimed. "I'm responsible for a man's death."

           
"But it would have been okay for Aresto kill the bastardo instead? Letting him take on that burden instead of you," Cleo snapped.

           
"No. I've seen what it does to him," Emma denied vehemently.

           
She was lying and she knew it. She'd been hiding from the truth for days now. Over the past week, she'd secretly been wishing it had been Ares who'd killed her attacker. It had been a silent wish to shirk the responsibility of her new ability, and the way she'd used it in her own self-defense. But when it came down to the bare facts, if Ares hadn't sealed the blood bond between them, she'd be dead. She shuddered at the thought.

           
"And now you've experienced it firsthand." Cleo heaved a sigh. "You did what you did because you wanted to live, Emma. There's not a goddamn thing wrong with that. Fotte, we all want to live. I mean it's not like the bastardo asked you if it was okay for him to kill you, did
he?
"

           
There was something funny about the way Cleo phrased the brutal fact, and Emma coughed out a small laugh.

           
"No, he didn't ask my permission."

           
"There you have it then. He gave you no choice. And at the end of the day, choosing life over death is definitely the way to go in my mind."

           
Cleo's matter-of-fact tone made Emma smile. "Are you always this blunt?"

           
"It's my trademark," the Sicari woman said with a grin. "Totally rankles a lot of people, and it drives Lysander crazy. And the fact that I'm usually right infuriates my mother."

           
"Lysander? Are you and he . . ." Emma stared at the woman in surprise.

           
"You've got to be kidding." The woman released a laugh. "That man can't see past Phae DeLuca. No, men are too time-consuming for me. I keep a couple of boy toys around, but the blood bond isn't for me."

           
Emma stared at the woman in amused astonishment. Aside from Roberta Young, she'd never met a woman so confident in herself before. But then maybe being beautiful gave one more confidence than most people. Something deep inside her said that wasn't true, particularly where Cleo was concerned. The woman didn't strike her as shallow, and that meant there were depths to the woman that lay buried beneath the surface.

           
A serious expression crossed the Sicari woman's face as she looked toward the elevator lobby area of the training room. Following the woman's gaze, Emma turned her head and saw Lysander walking toward them. The tall warrior towered over both of them as he came to a halt.

           
"Ares went to White Cloud five days ago to speak with Atia. I just received word that she's relieved him of his command of the guild and all his holdings pending a hearing before the full Council tonight."

           
"Fotte," Cleo exclaimed. "Mother wouldn't do that unless she was boiling mad. Ares has always had the ability to bend her to his way of thinking. What the devil did he say to make her that furious?"

           
"He asked her to break the blood bond," Emma whispered as she swayed slightly.

           
An enormous pressure built in her chest as if a tight band had wrapped its way around her and was squeezing the air out of her lungs. It was over. He didn't love her. His honor might have kept him from coming to see her, but there were other ways he could have told her he loved her. She had the answer to her question, and it hurt like hell. The Prima Consul would grant Ares his wish and their blood bond would be broken. Despair slid through her veins and seeped its way into every cell of her body.

           
"What are you going to do about it?" Lysander asked with a quiet intensity.

           
The disfigured fighter sent her a stern look with his green eye. He knew she was in love with Ares. Hell, according to Cleo, everyone in the guild knew it. The eyebrow on the angelic side of his face arched upward, but she wasn't intimidated in the least. If anything, Lysander's flat statement infuriated her. He wanted her to go running after a man who didn't want her.
Didn't love her.
Screw him. Screw the whole goddamn thing.

           
"Do? He's obviously decided to wash his hands of
me,
I don't see why I have to do anything at all."

           
"Don't be a fool, Emma."

           
"I'm not a fool, but you are for trying to play Cupid," she snapped. "Ares went to White Cloud because he knew I wasn't willing to hurt Atia by telling her what he'd done. He sealed the blood bond without telling me what the consequences might be, so he can damn well undo it."

           
"And only a man in love would be willing to pay the price he's about to pay." Something in Lysander's voice made her skin grow cold and clammy. "The minute he confesses to the Council, they'll throw him out of the Order."

           
"Why?
Because he's breaking our blood bond?
He told me I could do that."

           
"You can, yes," Lysander said with restrained impatience. "But in order for him to break the bond, he has to confess to the Council that he sealed the blood bond without your permission."

           
She swayed slightly at Lysander's words and their meaning.
"And if they throw him out of the Order, what then?"

           
"It means there isn't a Sicari stronghold that will offer him sanctuary anywhere in the world, and if the Praetorians hear about it--"

           
"If?"
Cleo snapped. "Don't you mean when? Ares has made some enemies over the years. He'll have only one choice at that point. Die at the hands of those bastards or go rogue."

           
She didn't even want to know what "going rogue" meant. The real significance of it all was in the way he was setting her free. He was going to confess in front of witnesses that he'd acted dishonorably. For any Sicari, that would be difficult, but for Ares, the humiliation would be devastating. It was the ultimate sacrifice.
A silent declaration of his love for her.

           
"How do I stop him?" She met Lysander's one-eyed gaze and she was certain she saw a flash of relief in the man's green eye. It endeared the man to her all the more because he cared about Ares.

           
"You'll have to refuse the breaking of the bond and dispute his confession." Lysander hesitated.

           
"And?"
She frowned.

           
"As Cleo says, Ares has enemies and some are on the Council. If he argues with you in front of the Order's leadership, they might rule against him no matter what you say."

           
"Then I'll have to make him listen to me."

Chapter 20

           
ARES stood staring out the library window of the White Cloud estate.
Leaves, stirred by a late evening breeze, danced low above the ground.
The estate had always been one of his favorite places to visit, even before Atia had become Prima Consul. Now, it was about to be taken away from him, just like his home. The Order would exile him once he freed Emma from their blood bond.

           
He'd thought it would bother him more, but it didn't. Releasing Emma was the honorable thing to do, no matter how humiliating the process. There were several Council members who would enjoy seeing him disgraced. He grimaced. They wouldn't make it easy for him either. Someone would probably call for him to be whipped before exiling him. They'd send him out as weak as possible in hopes that a Praetorian would catch his scent and finish him off.

           
The thought made him draw in a deep breath. Exile was usually a death sentence. No money, although he had an account no one knew about, no place to sleep, and no friends. The Order banished one or two warriors a year. The ones who survived were the ones who went rogue. And he'd see hell before he'd start drinking with the Praetorians. No matter how he finished off his days, he'd take as many Praetorians with him as he could.

           
His one regret was Phae. They'd looked out for each other since the night their parents were murdered. Exile meant he wasn't going to be there for her, but Lysander would if she'd let him. As for Emma, he was going to find a way to look out for her. He wouldn't ever be able to hold her again, but he was going to keep her safe if only from a distance.

           
When he'd told Atia earlier in the week what he'd done, his godmother had been livid. It had surprised him that she hadn't found a sword to teach him a lesson, she was so angry. She'd been deeply disappointed in him, too. But the minute he declared his intent to end the blood bond with Emma, she'd rejected his request outright. She'd ordered him to think on the matter for several days. What she'd really wanted was time to try and change his mind.

           
But there wasn't anything she could have said to him that would make any difference to his decision. Emma didn't love him. It was as simple as that. And if her happiness meant giving Emma her freedom, then he'd gladly sacrifice himself for her happiness. It was wrong to keep her bound to him when she didn't love him. He'd destroyed his honor since the first time he'd met her, but perhaps this last act would restore his honor to him as far as the two of them were concerned.
To hell with everyone else.

           
The door behind him crashed open and he turned to see Phae standing in the doorway. The fear and anger darkening her face told him a battle was brewing. He didn't speak, but simply waited for her reaction. She hesitated for a moment then hurried across the floor to embrace him. Startled, he just stood there with Phae holding him tight before he slowly hugged her back. When his shoulder grew wet, he pushed her back from him and forced a smile to his lips.

           
"Tears?
From Phaedra DeLuca?
Is the sky falling, because my sister hasn't cried since she was a
girl.
"

           
"Bastardo."
She wiped at her eyes with her hand.

           
"Somehow I expected a much more virulent reaction from you."

           
"Would it do any good?"

           
"No," he said with a wry smile. "I have to set her free."

           
"Did you even ask her if it's what she wanted?"

           
"I didn't have to." He arched his eyebrow at his sister's look of angry disbelief. "You weren't there when she came to, Phae. If you'd seen the way she looked at me, you wouldn't have asked that question."

           
"You love her, don't you?"

           
His jaw tightened at the question before he relaxed. In some ways, he felt like a dead man walking. Life as he knew it was about to end. But he'd survive, and if Phae or anyone else knew he loved Emma, then so be it. He'd made peace with his decision. All that was left now was to see it through.