Apple and Rain (25 page)

My insides curl up. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Come on,’ Del says. He drags me away.

‘What if he kidnapped her?’ I shout. I point at the man who is now smirking at me like he knows something I don’t.

It’s after seven o’clock. Less than an hour until the police search party is sent hunting for Rain. I press my nose into Jenny’s head and breathe in her smell, which is Rain’s smell too.

Back on the promenade, Del squeezes my hand. ‘This isn’t your fault, Apple,’ he says. I stare at him. I wish I could forget what’s happening. I wish I could just disappear. I’m so sad I feel like my heart is a flower whose petals are gently falling away.

Del lets go of my hand and points at me. ‘Did you hear what I said?’

‘Yes, I heard you,’ I say. I already feel like I’m drifting off somewhere else.

‘You don’t believe me. But it really isn’t your fault. What could you have done?’

‘I just wish . . . I wish I’d been nicer, that’s all.’

Del laughs into the sky. ‘That isn’t really your style.’

‘But I knew she was upset. I mean, there was this one morning that we came down to the beach and she tried to wade in. The waves would have swallowed her up, if Jenny hadn’t been tied to her.’ I pause. Del is staring at me. Why didn’t I think of this earlier? It was the most obvious place. ‘You don’t think . . .’

Del shakes his head. Shakes away the idea. ‘We checked the beaches. All of them. She’d have washed up. She’d . . .’ He isn’t convinced. He looks terrified.

‘I have to go,’ I say, and hurtle along the promenade. Del is shouting something behind me, and then he’s level with me, and we are running together as fast as we can in one last-ditch effort to find Rain. Dead or alive.

The moon is reflected in the ocean like a giant white plate. If you had to choose a place to be kissed, or a place to die, this would be it.

I squint, checking along the shore for a figure, and when I see one, narrow and disappearing into the distance, I almost don’t believe my eyes. I point. Del nods.

‘Maybe,’ he says. ‘You go.’

I run awkwardly along the soft sand towards the figure. The closer I get, the less convinced I am that it’s Rain. Adults can resemble children from a distance. But then I am on her, and when she turns, her thin face drawn and tired, I can’t do anything except fall on my knees in front of her and cry.

‘Apple?’ Small fingers comb my hair.

‘Rain, it’s you,’ I say. I stand and wrap my arms around her, squeezing her so tight I almost take Jenny’s head off. I kiss the top of her head – her chaotic red curls.

‘I was about to come home. I did earlier but you weren’t there. I thought you’d gone to school,’ she says.

‘School? I was looking for you all day. Didn’t you see my note?’

‘What note?’

‘Rain, the police are about to start their official search any minute. I thought something awful had happened.’ But it hasn’t. Rain is safe. My little sister, who I realise I love more than I even knew I could, is safe.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says.

‘No, Rain, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said about Jenny or hurt her like I did. It was cruel.’

Rain stares at Jenny, and gently, I take the doll from the carrier and hand her over. Rain takes Jenny from me and kisses her.

‘Thank you for taking care of her for me. But I don’t think she’s real, is she?’ she says.

‘It doesn’t matter what I think. It only matters that you’re happy.’

‘I’m not,’ Rain says. ‘I’m really not.’

The waves break and the surf tips the toes of my trainers. ‘No,’ I say. ‘Neither am I.’

‘And I’m hungry,’ she says. She grins. And I do too. Because I have my sister back.

And she’s hungry.

46

Before I manage to get my key into the lock, Nana opens the front door. She is leaning on her crutches. When she sees Rain, she gasps. ‘Thank the Lord,’ she says. She crosses herself and prays at the ceiling for several seconds. ‘Go on into the kitchen. I’ll call the station and tell the police we’ve found her,’ she says. Then she turns away and hobbles into the sitting room. I think she doesn’t want anyone to witness her crying.

Del and Rain sit on kitchen chairs. I open Nana’s fridge. It’s full of vegetables and eggs and meat wrapped in waxy paper. ‘What would madam like to eat?’ I ask Rain.

She rubs her tummy. ‘A roast dinner please.’

‘A roast? Seriously?’ I peer into the fridge again. ‘Well, I suppose I could try.’ I finger a joint of uncooked pork.

‘If you’re having a roast, I’ll stay for dinner,’ Del says.

‘Of course.’ Nana hops into the kitchen and falls into a chair. ‘Give me over the bag of spuds and I’ll peel them.’

‘I’ll do the other veggies,’ Del says.

‘What can I do?’ Rain asks.

I plop the potatoes in front of Nana. ‘Help Nana with these,’ I tell Rain. I hand her a peeler. Nana gets a sharp knife for the job, which she always uses anyway, and I start on the meat, Nana giving directions from the chair.

And together we cook a roast.

‘That was the best dinner I’ve had since I was at the Ritz,’ Del says, putting the last Brussels sprout into his mouth.

‘What’s for dessert?’ Rain wants to know.

‘Well, I’ve ice cream in the freezer or we could have caramelised apples,’ Nana says.

‘Both?’ Rain asks.

Nana points to the fruit bowl by the hob. ‘Pass us a few Granny Smiths,’ she says.

And we have caramelised apples with chocolate ice cream.

My favourite.

When it’s almost time for bed, I walk Del to the break in the fence between our gardens. We slide through to his side and sit on a log.

‘Thank you,’ I say.

He holds my hand and shifts closer so our legs are touching. ‘Are you going to move back in with your nan?’

I shrug. ‘I don’t know. Probably. If she lets me.’

‘She’ll let you . . . And then I can use my binoculars to spy on you. Maybe I’ll see your bum.’

‘That’s a bit dodgy,’ I say.

‘Yeah. You know I saw Mrs Humphreys without any knickers on? I almost fainted.’

‘No! Ew! When?’

‘A couple of weeks ago. Worst bit about it was that I didn’t notice for ages because she was wearing a blouse and watching the TV then suddenly I looked down and . . .’ He slaps his hands against his cheeks and screams.

I laugh. ‘If I move back in with Nana, you have to give me your binoculars.’

‘Listen, Apple, if you want to see me without my knickers on, you only have to ask.’

I laugh again and so does Del and then we’re gazing at each other quietly and sort of intensely and before either of us can say or do anything to spoil it, I lean forward and kiss him.

At first it’s a gentle lip kiss. But the pecking gets longer. Our lips part, and I taste the mints Nana left on the table after dinner, which Del couldn’t resist. I close my eyes and Del’s fingers are in my hair and my fingers are creeping beneath his coat. Our breathing gets shorter. My heart pummels my ribs.

And then Nana’s voice calls out. ‘Apple. Apple?’

It’s hard to stop kissing but we manage to pull ourselves apart. We smile shyly.

‘Talk about timing,’ Del says.

‘She worries,’ I say.

‘Well, you should go then.’ He kisses me quickly. ‘Just try not to think of my hot body all night or you’ll never sleep.’

‘I’ll try,’ I say, and crawl back through to my own garden.

I gaze at the sky. The moon is still a gleaming white dish and the stars twinkle.

I smile. Everything looks exactly as it should.

By the time I make it inside, Rain is upstairs in Nana’s bed with Jenny. Nana is trying to make herself comfortable on the couch.

‘You can wake me up if you need to pee in the night. I can help you up the stairs,’ I tell her.

‘Not at all,’ Nana says, turning off the TV. ‘But if you could run up like a good girl and get me a nightie and the Bible from my bedside cabinet, I’ll be grand. Your room is exactly as you left it, except I tidied up your desk a bit.’

‘Thanks, Nana,’ I say. I perch on the edge of the couch.

‘Mum never showed up,’ I say.

‘I was about to tell you that she called when you were in the garden to see if we’d found Rain. She’s back at the flat. I told her not to come over, that we didn’t need her here now. We’ll see her in the morning.’ Nana’s voice is hard and unforgiving. ‘And your father called too. He wants to come over at the weekend. I told him to call your mobile.’

‘OK,’ I say.

Nana smiles.

‘Nana . . . why do you hate Mum so much? I mean, she’s your daughter. Didn’t you miss her when she was away?’

Nana studies her wrinkled hands. ‘Of course I did.’

‘She says you threw her out.’

‘I was always strict with her and she hated me for it. I didn’t want her smoking or drinking around you, but she was young and she couldn’t live with my rules. I didn’t throw her out though. She had to go. She had to escape.’

‘Why? Was I that bad?’

Nana pats my knee. ‘Annie was very sad when she left. She wasn’t thinking clearly. But I thought she’d come back. She promised she would. Then year after year went by and no sign of her. It broke my heart not to see my own child. And it broke my heart to see you pine for her.’

‘But she kept her promise. She came back. You never gave her a chance.’

Nana nods. ‘I suppose I was . . . jealous. Annie gave you to me to mind and then when she got bored with her high life, she snatched you away again. I thought you were mine, but you aren’t. You’re
her
daughter, and I shouldn’t have forgotten that.’

I sigh. ‘Why do I have to be anyone’s? Can’t I belong to myself?’

Nana rubs my cheek with her dry fingers. ‘You’ve grown up, Apple. When did that happen?’

‘Does that mean you’ll trust me to walk to school on my own?’

‘You’re moving back in?’ Nana’s face is like Christmas lights that have been switched on after a whole year in a box.

‘I think Mum needs some time to focus on her acting, so I could come back for a while,’ I say.

‘Whatever you want, Apple,’ Nana says.

I throw my arms around her and hug her so tight, I ache.

47

Mum shows up at seven thirty with my uniform in a carrier bag and a bunch of orange roses for Nana.

‘I know a sorry won’t fix anything, but for what it’s worth, I am sorry, Apple,’ she says. Her face is drained of colour.

‘I thought you were dead. And then I thought Rain was dead. And then I thought Nana was dead. It’s been a crappy few days,’ I say.

‘I’m sorry,’ Mum says again.

I lead her into the kitchen. Nana is making breakfast even though she should be resting. Sausages and bacon wheeze and burp in the pan.

‘Hello, Annie,’ Nana says.

‘I’ve made an appointment with a doctor for later this afternoon to have Rain checked over and also to talk to her about the doll,’ Mum says.

‘You say more than your prayers, Annie Kelly,’ Nana says, which means she doesn’t believe her.

‘Did you get a part in the film?’ I ask Mum.

‘No, I didn’t.’ Mum puts down the flowers and the bag carrying my uniform, and leans against the sideboard. ‘I want to be a better mother,’ she says.

Nana sits on a kitchen chair. ‘Apple, could you give us a minute?’ she asks.

I know the drill. I go upstairs and Derry trails after me. We dive underneath the covers and I close my eyes, expecting to hear shouts and roars and maybe a pan being thrown, but it’s silent. I can only hear Derry snuffling.

‘Maybe they’re making up, making up, never ever, ever breaking up,’ I say aloud.

‘What are you talking about?’ It’s Rain.

I throw back the covers and edge over in the bed. Rain climbs in. When she feels Derry writhing at her feet, she squeals.

‘Silly dog,’ she says.

‘Where’s Jenny?’ I ask.

Rain ruffles Derry’s hair. ‘She’s in bed. She doesn’t need me all the time.’

‘Really?’ I ask hesitantly.

Rain shakes her head. ‘I don’t think so. Do you?’

I smile. ‘No,’ I say. Maybe she isn’t able to let go of Jenny yet, but it’s a start.

Rain lies back in the bed and Derry licks her face until she squawks. She pulls the covers over her head. ‘Is Mom downstairs?’ she asks, her voice muffled.

‘Yeah. I think her and Nana are having a serious talk.’

‘What are they saying?’

‘I don’t know. Let’s invent something. I’ll be Nana.’

Nana/Me:
Where have you been the last two days?

Mum/Rain:
I was at Buckingham Palace. The Queen threatened to chop off my head if I left.