An Autumn Affair (12 page)

Of course, he knew she hadn’t had it easy when the twins were small. He could recall coming home from work one evening when they were less than a year old, to find the kitchen splattered with yellow goo, the twins in their high-chairs splattered in yellow goo, and Julia sprawled on the floor splattered in yellow goo. The babies were bawling their eyes out. So, too, was an exhausted Julia.

‘They don’t like pureed parsnip,’ she’d wailed.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Paul had soothed. ‘Come on. Let’s get you all cleaned up.’

Then there was the time she’d called him at the office in hysterics. She’d been in town with the double-buggy and both kids had vomited all over the plush carpet in her favourite clothes shop. Paul had dropped everything to rush out and help her.

A long list of similar incidents all demonstrated perfectly just what a struggle it had been. But together, by whatever means, they’d bumbled through. And as time trundled on, it gradually became easier. So much so that Paul actually thought she had it pretty easy now.

Quite where all that stuff about work had sprouted from, he had no idea. She hadn’t mentioned work for years. Of course he knew she’d harboured ambitions when younger, but that had been before the twins. He’d merely assumed, as the years merged into one, that she’d settled into her role as a wife and mother. Plenty of women did. And why not? Absolutely nothing wrong with that. So why was she tearing a strip off him all of a sudden for not being aware of something they hadn’t discussed in eons?

Conversely, Julia’s feelings on his work functions had been made crystal clear. She hated them. But honestly, there weren’t that many of them and all she had to do was smile and exchange platitudes for a couple of hours. Of course, Paul wasn’t dense enough not to realise that, this time, Natalia’s swanning around would not have helped Julia’s mood at all. And Julia certainly wasn’t dense enough not to have noticed how awkward he’d acted around Natalia. He’d done his best not to, of course, but with his wife standing next to the woman he found himself increasingly fantasising about, anything resembling normal behaviour had been beyond his capabilities. Despite all the above, however, he couldn’t help feeling peeved at Julia deserting him like that.

‘Was that June I just saw leaving?’ Hugh Bell asked, minutes after Paul had caught a glimpse of her storming out.

‘Julia,’ corrected Paul. ‘And yes. She’s, um, not feeling too well.’

He considered running after her, but decided against it. With her foul mood, and the way she was acting completely out of character, she might well have made a scene and, with every member of the Board in attendance, that was the last thing he needed. So, he’d deftly batted away any enquiries about her by implementing the ‘not feeling too well’ line.

‘Oh, I didn’t think she looked too well,’ Natalia crowed, before attaching herself to his side like a piece of Velcro.

Paul had been flattered. What man wouldn’t have been? And then, after making his speech and receiving a rapturous round of applause, she’d surprised him further.

‘You were amazing,’ she cooed, before kissing him on the corner of his mouth.

Paul thought he might keel over. Thankfully he hadn’t. Subsequently engulfed by colleagues inspired by his speech, wanting more details of statistics and predictions, he had no idea what mumbo-jumbo he’d fobbed them off with. The last thing on his mind, as he watched Natalia gliding around the room, casting him long surreptitious glances, had been bloody statistics and predictions. Then, in a flash, she’d disappeared. Leaving him panting for more.

By the time he arrived back at Primrose Cottage, his head had been all over the place. Julia was in bed, as far over on her side as was humanly possible. Paul knew she wasn’t asleep but couldn’t be bothered confronting her. Instead, he clung on to his side of the bed and yanked over the duvet. Julia yanked it back. And so the game continued for several minutes, before Julia leaped up and stormed off into the spare room to sleep with the ironing.

Poor ironing, concluded Paul.

Breakfast the next morning had been interesting.

Julia and the twins were already at the table when Paul arrived downstairs. Julia, ramming slices of bread into the toaster, looking like she’d just imbibed three pints of sour milk.

‘How was your speech last night, Dad?’ Leo asked, as Paul sat down opposite him.

Before Paul had a chance to reply, Julia slammed the butter dish onto the table with such force that all three heads spun around to look at her.

Paul’s gaze fused with her frosty one. He held onto it as he made his reply. ‘Well, everyone who was there …,’ he began, in such a meaningful tone that Julia broke the connection and whisked back around to the toaster, ‘… said it was brilliant.’

‘Does that include Natalia?’ she piped up.

‘Who’s Natalia?’ asked Faye, reaching for the carton of orange juice.

‘My new assistant,’ Paul replied, hoping the flush stealing up from his toes would peter out before it reached his cheeks. ‘She’s, um, on the graduate recruitment scheme.’

‘Wow. Places on those schemes are like gold-dust,’ exclaimed Leo. ‘She must be really good.’

‘Oh, I’m sure she’s excellent,’ remarked Julia, before dumping a plate of toast on the table and strutting out of the room.

Chapter Eight

Max’s Audi was already in the car park when Julia arrived at the pub a few days later. There was a huge space right next to it but, for some nonsensical reason, she opted to squeeze into the tiny one at the opposite end of the car park instead. Given the illicitness of the occasion, it seemed the right thing to do. She switched off the engine and sat for a few minutes composing herself. Thankfully, she hadn’t had to formulate an excuse for Paul about going out this evening. His two-night business trip had been perfectly timed, given that the atmosphere in the house since the cocktail party had been so frosty, it was a wonder they hadn’t had to de-ice the living room. Whether Natalia was accompanying him on his trip, Julia hadn’t bothered to ask. But Paul wasn’t the only member of the household irritating her. Julia could scarcely look at the twins since that night either. Their lack of respect for her and complete absorption in themselves seemed to have peaked. Oh, she still loved them. Of course she did. They were her children. But, she couldn’t say, hand on heart, that she actually
liked
them. She hadn’t bothered leaving them anything to eat this evening. They were old enough to sort themselves out. Besides, Julia was fed up considering other people all the time. From now on, she intended making more time for herself – this evening being a perfect example. Even though what she was doing was wrong. Very wrong. Or was it? Shaking off her scarlet-woman cloak, she reasoned with herself: she was only meeting an old school friend. People did that all the time, didn’t they? Renewing acquaintances via social media sites and the like. This evening was nothing more sinister than that. Pasting that thought to the forefront of her mind, she slid out of the car and, with shaking legs, entered the pub.

With only a smattering of bodies inside, Julia spotted Max immediately, in the corner at a table for two.

He rose to his feet as she approached, his mouth stretching into a devastating smile. ‘You look fantastic,’ he declared.

‘Thanks,’ muttered Julia, blushing. She’d really wanted to look nice. To
feel
nice. Despite her limited wardrobe, it had taken her an age to pull together a suitable outfit. She’d finally opted for a cream silk sweater – which hid her tummy – black jeans, and ankle boots with a tiny heel but which she nevertheless imagined made her legs look longer. She’d swept up her hair in a butterfly clip, and added a pair of dangly silver earrings which she’d treated herself to two years ago and which she’d only just rediscovered during a frantic rummage through her jewellery box. Max, needless to say, looked drop-dead gorgeous in a burnt-orange canvas shirt and beige chinos.

He kissed her gently on her cheek. The combination of that, and the subtle scent of his aftershave, caused a furious fluttering of butterflies in Julia’s gut.

‘Have you, um, been waiting long?’ she asked. Was it just her, or did her voice sound weird? If it did, Max appeared not to notice.

‘Five minutes,’ he replied. ‘I took the liberty of ordering you a gin and tonic – with two slices of lemon. I hope that’s okay. I know you’re driving but I thought one wouldn’t hurt.’

‘Of course it won’t,’ agreed Julia, her flush deepening. Not only had he remembered her favourite tipple, but the bit about the lemon too. As if by magic, the drink appeared at the table, delivered by a pretty young waitress, who smiled shyly at Max. Julia bit back a grin. Max’s effect on the opposite sex had evidently not diminished over the years.

‘So,’ he began. ‘How are the Friday shopping trips going?’

At the playfulness of his tone, Julia began to relax. She’d suspected the conversation might begin with him interrogating her over why she’d called him when she had. And sounding, no doubt, slightly manic. But she should’ve known better. Max had always known how to put her at ease.

‘They’re going,’ she replied, with a coy smile. ‘On a Thursday actually.’

Max chuckled. A delightful gurgling chuckle that caused Julia’s smile to widen. ‘And this change of day wouldn’t have anything to do with me, would it?’

Julia feigned a serious expression. ‘Of course not. It’s too busy on a Friday. Sometimes I have to wait for a parking space.’

‘Really?’ Max’s grey-green eyes twinkled. ‘I always go there on a Friday and I’ve never had to wait for a parking space.

Julia giggled. ‘And you going on a Friday wouldn’t have anything to do with me, would it?’

They both snorted with laughter.

‘Do you know,’ Max confessed, ‘I hung about the cereal aisle so long one week, the assistant asked if I needed any help.’

Julia guffawed. ‘Oh my God. That happened to me too.’

‘And then,’ he continued, ‘when I reached the checkout and the guy asked me if I’d found everything I wanted, I almost screamed “No, I damn well didn’t”.’

Julia’s mouth dropped open. ‘Ha! I wanted to scream the very same thing when they asked me that.’

‘Do you remember the time when we went to that supermarket in York to buy stuff to make pizzas with?’ Max asked.

‘I do,’ said Julia, snorting with laughter again. ‘You were wearing new shoes and slipped on the floor beside the fish-finger freezer. And that old lady rushed over and tried to give you mouth-to-mouth.’

‘Then the security guard thought I was being attacked and tried to prise her off me.’

‘And she hit him round the head with her handbag,’ finished off Julia, tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks. ‘It was a classic. You really couldn’t have made that up.’

‘If we’d had YouTube in those days, we’d have been top of the hit list,’ said Max. ‘We did make some good pizzas up in York, though. Or at least I did. Yours, if I recall, were always slightly soggy.’

‘They were not,’ countered Julia defiantly. ‘At least I tried to experiment. You always went for the tried and tested pepperoni and mushroom.’

‘And rightly so. Nothing wrong with knowing your limitations and sticking to them in my opinion. I loved messing about in that kitchen, though. Then snuggling up in your room and watching crap telly.’

Julia stopped laughing and gawped at him. ‘Did you? Honestly?’

‘Of course I did,’ confirmed Max. ‘I always told you I did.’

Julia shook her head in disbelief. ‘I thought you were just saying it. I thought you must be bored out of your tree. That you’d much rather be with your friends in Cambridge.’

‘So you said,’ replied Max. ‘Several times when you were busy dumping me. I know I was probably a bit of a stalker, following you back to York and everything after you’d walked away from me in Cambridge, but talk about a curved ball. I couldn’t believe it. I honestly thought we had it all.’

‘We did,’ muttered Julia. ‘And because of my stupid insecurities, I threw it all away.’

Max lowered his voice. ‘I’ve never stopped loving you, you know. You broke my heart when you finished it. I thought we’d be together forever.’

Julia’s head snapped up to him. ‘But I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. We were too serious, too young. I thought it’d be best for both of us if we had some time apart. Explore things. Meet other people. Completely ironic given that I was saddled with two babies not long afterwards.’

A brief hiatus ensued during which Julia reverted her attention back to the beer mat. She had no idea what to say now. Breaking up with Max had been the biggest mistake of her life. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to turn back the clock.

She started slightly as he reached across the table and took her hand.

‘It took me months to get over you,’ he confessed. ‘In fact I don’t know if I ever have really.’

‘Of course you have. You’ve gone on to have a very successful life. With masses of exotic babes, I’ll bet.’

Max chuckled. ‘Well, I can’t deny the bit about the babes. But I’ve never been as close to anyone as I was to you. Never allowed anyone to get that close. Because I couldn’t stand the thought of being hurt like that again. If I ever went for counselling, I think they’d say I was irreparably damaged by my first great love.’

Julia snorted incredulously. ‘You’re not being serious.’

‘Oh but I am. Deadly serious.’

Julia’s mouth dropped open. From the tone of his voice, she could tell he meant it. Which made her feel like a complete and utter cow. ‘Well,’ she uttered. ‘I … in that case, I really don’t know what to say. Other than “sorry”.’

‘Don’t be sorry,’ said Max, shaking his head. ‘I know you thought you were doing the right thing. And I should have done more to persuade you that you weren’t. Although quite what else I could have done, I have no idea. Tell me this, though, Julia,’ he said, gently rubbing his thumb across her palm. ‘Do you think twenty years apart is long enough?’

At his tender touch, Julia’s insides melted. This felt good. This felt right. This felt like she belonged here. With Max. She raised her eyes to his.

‘What are you suggesting? That we …?’