Amy (Aces MC Series Book 3.5) (19 page)

I leaned over the table and placed my hand on top of Mitchell's
and was surprised when he placed his other hand on top of mine stroking the
back in a comforting gesture. I pursed my lips but gave him a small smile before
exhaling through my nose.
"I was pregnant when I was stabbed five years ago." I blurted it out
as I didn't know how else to say it. Mitchell grabbed my hand tightly and I saw
the pain on his face as he struggled with the information. "I didn't know
I was pregnant at the time, otherwise I probably wouldn't have helped the club
but it's okay saying all of this in hindsight." I tried to remove my hand
from his but he held firm not allowing me to.
"Who knows Ames?"
"Just Connor and Ethan but don't be mad at them Mitch, I asked them not to
say anything."
Mitchell shook his head slowly, "I'm finding it very difficult to hold it
all together at the moment Ames so you need to start talking very quickly babe."
"I had complications during surgery and as a result my insides are a
fucking mess." The last few words came out quietly. I wanted to tell him
the rest but I was still finding it difficult to discuss.
Mitchell removed his hands and ran it across his face as he proceed what I'd
just said before sitting back in his chair.
"Recon's baby?" I nodded my head slowly and he instantly bit the
inside of his mouth. I knew he wanted to say so much more than he currently was
but he was trying to be respectful of me sharing the difficult information.
"And you didn't want to tell him because?" Mitchell was struggling to
hold it together and I suppose he was just trying to visualise how he'd feel if
it was him but there it was, the question that I didn't want to answer. I
closed my eyes briefly but as I opened them I saw the fire ignite in Mitchell's
as they blazed with fury.
"There was no point telling him Mitch. We were only shagging, it wasn't
going anywhere and to be honest I didn't want him pitying me."
Mitchell clenched his teeth and leaned across the table, "How would he
pity you Ames, don't be so fucking stupid he loved you, still fucking
does."
"The only thing Blake loves is himself." I scoffed, although it
wasn't probably the best time to goad Mitchell. He rubbed his forehead out of
frustration before running his fingers through his short hair.
"You're unreal sometimes."
"Excuse me? I'm unreal! I think I've had to deal with more than most over
the past five years. How fucking dare you speak to me like that Mitch. You
don't know the half of it."
"Then fucking tell me Ames, I haven't come here to play games."
"There were complications with the operation, it means I can't ever have
children."
It wasn't like Mitch to be lost for words but he sat there with his mouth
bobbing open and shut trying to find the right things to say. "Fucking
hell Ames, I'm so sorry babe."
"It's okay Mitch, there's nothing to say. What's done is done and I've had
five years to try and come to terms with it."
"Is this why you distanced yourself from the club?" I nodded my head.
"I didn't get it at the time. I thought you were crazy to want to up and
leave your family. Christ babe, are you okay?" I shook my head slowly,
"Of course you're not fucking okay, I'm sorry that's a stupid
question." Mitch shuffled along the bench to stand before making his way
around the table to come and sit next to me. "I'm sorry babe I genuinely
didn't know and if I did I would've been there for you, you know that
right?"
"Yeah!" I said quietly.
Mitchell wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in close to hold me
in his embrace and I quietly sat letting him slowly rock me back and forth as
he held me tightly in his arms. Mitchell placed his lips on the top of my head
and gently kissed me to try and comfort me.
"Don't you think you should tell Recon though babe? I know it's been five
years now but he still has the right to know."
"I don't want to rehash everything Mitch."
"But he'd want to know."
"How do you know that?"
"Because if I were in his situation, I'd want to know the truth."
I let out a loud sigh, I'd been thinking about it since I received his
visitation order and knew deep down that this was the right thing to do but
just didn't know what to say or how to say it especially now that it had been
so many years since it happened. I nodded my head slowly, "Okay I'll tell
him but I need to do it in my own time with no pressure from you."
Mitchell held up both of his hands in a defensive manner, "Okay I swear
I'll leave it up to you but promise me you won't drag it out as he deserves to
know the truth."
I nodded my head so that he knew I understood.
"The thing is Ames, I totally blame myself."
I looked at him confused, "How is any of this your fault Mitch?"
"Although I was only VP at the time, I should've stopped you from working
undercover for us. I should've known that something was going to kick
off."
"It's not your fault Mitch, admittedly I blamed the club at first and its
members but you're not to blame. I made my own decision to help the club but what
I'm more annoyed about is that I didn't listen to my own nagging doubts and was
too busy trying to prove that I was worthy of being an old lady."
"You are more than worthy of being someone's old lady Ames." Mitch
placed his hand in mine and held it tightly. "Can we agree to disagree
regarding who's to blame?" I could see that he was saying all of the right
things but Mitch wasn't very good at hiding his true feelings, and I knew that
he was trying to keep it together.
I sniggered and leaned into his body trying to make light of the situation
because I wanted him to think that everything was okay, "Yeah!"
"Well I think you've had enough excitement for one evening, I should get
you home." Mitchell slid across the bench to get out from the booth and I
naturally followed. I felt relieved that I'd finally confided in him, I hated
to keep secrets from Mitch but I was concerned that there would be
repercussions. Fortunately a few members of the Dyers had disappeared over the
years, I never asked what happened to them and just assumed that they'd moved
on but I also wasn't naive to think that the Aces hadn't dealt with them
either.
 Mitchell placed his hand on my lower back and directed me toward the exit.

"Amy!" I turned to see Pearl weaving her way
through the various punters dotted around the room as she made her way over to
me. "I've ordered us a taxi," she shouted as she pushed her way
through the middle of a group of revellers.
"How long before it's here Pearl?" Mitchell asked.
"Five minutes most." She stated breathlessly.
Mitchell nodded and continued to direct me towards the exit so we could wait
outside.

It wasn't long before the taxi arrived and Mitchell helped
me into the backseat and fastened my seatbelt as if I were a child, I rolled my
eyes but it was dark saving me a lecture. Mitch held onto the door, "Ames,
if you need anything just give me a call."
I smiled at his constant badgering, "I'll be fine but thank you."
Mitchell closed the door and banged on the top of the taxi indicating it was
good to go. He stepped back from the vehicle and gave me a nod of the head as
the taxi pulled away.

It felt good to be home as I was exhausted and covered my
mouth as I yawned, but could feel a headache coming on. "What a fucking
evening!" I said aloud walking to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of
water and take some pain relief before my head really started pounding.
My phone bleeped again as it had been in the taxi on the way home but I didn't
need to look at it to know that it was James trying to make contact with me.
Letting out a sigh, I walked to my bedroom stripping off my clothes in the
process and chucked them in the corner of my room in a huge pile. I just needed
to go to bed and get some rest, I was mentally drained as my emotions had been
ravaged from the only men that have ever meant anything to me apart from
family. My phone bleeped again as I held it in my hand as if daring me to read
the messages. I glanced at the screen to read 'I'm sorry please can we talk.'
Letting out a groan I placed my mobile onto the bedside cabinet and rolled onto
my side.
What was I going to do?
The thoughts spun around my mind as I
tried to process what had exactly gone on. It was inevitable that a new partner
may want children but I had never consider the thought of dating someone who
already had a family. Whatever way I looked at it, I wasn't worthy of being with
anyone as I couldn't give a man the most natural thing that a woman could
possibly give, a child.

Amy

I'm never drinking again, I said to myself as I held my head
trying to stop the thumping. I needed to get a drink of water as my throat scratched
every time I swallowed. I covered myself with my dressing gown and placed my
hair on top of my head in a loose top knot to remove it from my face, as I made
my way from my bedroom and up the corridor. As I neared the archway that led to
the living room, I heard Connor, Mitchell and Ethan deep in conversation and
stood still so that I could hear them, knowing that they'd stop if I entered
the room.

"He needs schmoozing!" Mitchell said as a matter
of fact.
Ethan sniggered, "Is that even a word?"
"Fuck off and start racking your brains. Who can we ask?"
"So what would they need to do again?" Connor asked Mitchell trying
to get everything straight.
"Take him out for dinner and just make him feel special so that he signs
on that dotted line. Real off the names you've written down."
"Well we haven't Duke, that's the thing. There's only one person that's
right for the job and that's Amy." Spike said calmly.
"No fucking way are you asking her, do I make myself clear?" I heard
the chair scrap across the tiled floor and someone pace around and assumed it
was Mitchell getting the hump.
"I was just stating facts because she's the one who'd know what to do. We
can't ask Ink as her arm's still in plaster and Angel wouldn't have a fucking
clue. Taylor, well I'm still trying to work her out, Maggie is too old, Paige
and Chloe are too young and Savannah has fucked off to Paris, so unless you
want to ask one of the strippers or whores you've made friends with over the
years then I think we're screwed."
I heard Ethan laugh at Connor's little outburst and I had to place my hand over
my mouth to stifle my own sniggers.
"What do you mean you're still trying to work Taylor out?" Mitchell
asked obviously offended by what Connor had said.
"Exactly that, she scares the shit out of me with that temper."
Connor and Ethan laughed and I heard Mitchell eventually join in.
"You and me both," Mitchell said between sniggers.
"But this doesn't help us out guys." Ethan stated.

"Yes it does," I walked into the living room
making my presence known.
The guys turned around to look at me with varied expressions but Connor gave me
a wink.
"You look rough!"
"Well thank you big brother your words are so kind when I've just offered
to dig you out of a hole." I made my way slowly to the sink, running the
cold tap before placing a glass underneath. I felt their eyes on me and I
turned off the tap and gulped down the water feeling a little better as it
started to sooth my throat. My phone bleeped indicating that I'd received a
text but I ignored it knowing that it would be from James, I wasn't in the mood
to talk to him right now. Taking a deep breath, I turned to meet their glares,
"So what would I have to do?"
"It don't matter coz you ain't fucking doing it!"
"Mitchell just stop trying to wrap me up in fucking cotton wool all the
time. Yes I lost a baby in fucking horrible circumstances but I will not put my
life on hold because of that."
"You lost the baby on our watch Amy and I will never forgive myself for
that." Mitchell was now shouting and I saw the discomfort on Ethan's and
Connor's faces because when Mitch kicked off, it was usually a big drama.
"And I told you that in confidence so that you could support me, not use
it against me. Now if you don't let me help you out with this, I will never and
I mean never help you out with anything again." I puffed out my chest and
stood directly in front of him with my hands on my hips and I knew neither of
us would back down easily so we were in for an enjoyable morning of butting
heads.

"Okay you two this isn't going to get us
anywhere." Connor stood and tried to defuse the situation.
"Don't fucking goad me Ames." Mitchell stepped forward pointing
directly at me.
I sniggered, "Look at you puffing your chest out, get off your fucking
high horse and let's discuss it like adults. You're making my headache
worse." I grabbed my glass from the kitchen worktop and walked into the
living room so that I could sit down on the comfortable sofa.

"Look, from where I'm sitting you don't have much of a
choice and I'm prepared to help. If it's a matter of taking someone out for
dinner and a little flirting then I'm your woman."
"You were listening?" Ethan asked as he joined me on the sofas.
"Of course!" I scoffed.
"Mitch come and sit down please, I can help you."
He unfolded his arms and stepped into the living room, "God you make my
blood boil woman!"
I gave him a wink and patted the seat beside me. Mitch rolled his eyes and strolled
towards me and I knew that he was considering my proposal. My phone bleeped
again and I took the iPhone from my pocket to look at the screen and then
placed it back just as quickly.
"Problem?" Connor asked as he narrowed his eyes.
I shook my head not wishing to discuss in front of the guys. "I'm honestly
happy to help." I said calmly placing my hand on Mitchell's leg, giving it
a squeeze.
"And are you okay with this Diesel?" I saw Mitch's intense stare as
he was still clearly frustrated.
"She can't come to any harm in a restaurant but if you're worried we could
always put one of the guys outside or possibly even inside to keep a watchful
eye."
"Hello, I am actually here." I stated flinging my arms around.
"Sorry Ames let us just sort this out." Ethan said dismissing me but
I knew not to answer back.
"Okay I'm happy with that, do we all agree?" Mitch glanced around the
room to see the nods from Connor and Ethan and then turned his attention back
to me. "Okay, if you're sure that you're okay to help out then that's
great but can you understand our reasons for not wanting to get you
involved?"
I nodded my head because I truly did and I was grateful that the club were
looking out for me but I also didn't want to be wrapped in cotton wool like
they'd tried to do for the past five years.
My phone rang again and I removed it from my pocket to see that it was James
calling again. I rolled my eyes and went to place it back when Mitch snatched
it from me. "What the fuck you doing?" I asked trying to grab it.
"Why are you ignoring lover boy?" Mitch started to scroll through my messages.
"You've over stepped the mark now Mitch, give me back my fucking phone
now." I said through gritted teeth.
Mitch handed me back my phone, "I was only trying to wind you up, chill
out Ames."
"Well it's worked." I stood from the sofa. "When's this meeting?"
"Friday," Mitch said still assessing me.

"Okay, I'll be ready." I walked up the corridor
towards the bathroom when there was a wrap on the door, I walked back to answer
but Mitch was already walking towards the door.

"Well good morning lover boy, fancy seeing you
here," Mitch said sarcastically. He stepped aside and extended his arm
welcoming James into the flat before turning to me and smiling.
"Arsehole!" I mouthed so only Mitchell could see.
James walked into the living room and came directly towards me, "Can we
please talk?"
I glanced around the room and Ethan caught my eye, "Don't mind us Ames
we're going. Thank you for breakfast." He stated gesturing to the mess
left on the table where they'd helped themselves to food from my cupboards.
"Are we?" Mitchell asked standing affronted.
Connor also stood getting the hint, "Yes we are, we've got to do that
thing."
Mitchell played stupid to what was going on and Connor gave me a simple wave
before he pushed Mitchell through the living room and out the door.

I turned my attention back to James conscious that I looked
a mess and was sporting a huge hangover from last night.
"And to what do I owe this pleasure?" I asked trying to sound a
little better than I was currently feeling inside, my head was still pounding
and I could do with another couple of hours sleep. Louise and Maggie were
covering the cafe for me this morning, I had said that I'd go in when I was
feeling a little better but I didn't know how long this was going to take.
"You say it like I've just turned up here out of the blue!" I
shrugged my shoulders and James let out a loud sigh exasperated by my comment.
"You phone me up and insult me, and because you were drunk you have no
filter and can't be rational. Even sober you won't take my calls and discuss
this situation like an adult." I could see the frustration on his face but
I wasn't being spoken to like a child.
"Excuse me, you come into my house and you want to tell me off like a
child, that's a little ironic," I said trying to goad him.
"Well stop acting like a child and I wouldn't have to treat you like
one."
I sniggered, "Well you do have lots of experience with children."
"This isn't going to get us anywhere Ames. Can you please just hear me out
and if you don't want to see me after that then there's nothing more that I can
do."
I gestured with my hand towards the sofa indicating that I'd listen to what he
had to say so he may as well get comfortable. "Thank you." James
unfastened his suit jacket and sat on the edge of the sofa resting his chin on
his clasped hands.

"Trudy, their mother died three years ago of cancer and
since then I've brought the children up on my own. Well I say on my own but I
have a lot of support from my parents and from various childminders."
James didn't look at me when he reeled of this information and I wondered if it
was because he was talking about the mother of his children that he was
obviously still in love with when she passed away. My insides started to ache
and my heart thawed from his revelation, I had been such a bitch and he was
right I hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt.
"The reason I didn't tell you about the children wasn't to lie to you, I
just wasn't sure of what was going to materialise between us and didn't want to
introduce the children to someone if it was only going to be a quick
fling." James looked up to stare directly into my eyes, "I like you
Ames, really like you and I'd very much like us to see where this relationship
may go. I know I've hurt you regarding the children but I also don't want you
to think that I kept them a secret from you because of your revelation the
other evening as that's not the case."
I looked at the floor trying to analyse everything he'd just said, it was a lot
to take on board but the real problem was that I really liked spending time
with him and I to wanted to see where this relationship would go.
"You're very quiet Ames, please talk to me." James shuffled up the
sofa so that he was sitting beside me and took my hand, "I'd like you to
come to my house this evening to have dinner with me, Hazel and Callum."
"Really?"
"Yes!" He said firmly nodding his head. "I've thought long and
hard about this and I want you to meet them."
"You don't have to do this, we can go out just the two of us. I've
realised that I over reacted again and I don't want to put you under any more
pressure."
"I really want you to come and the children are looking forward to meeting
you." James stated looking at me hopefully.
"They are?" I asked surprised that he'd even told them about me.
"Yes they are. They've been asking a lot of questions lately and they want
to put a face to a name, so will you come?" I heard the pleading in his
voice so how could I refuse.
"I'd love to." I said noticing the relief on James' face.
"Well that's great, can I expect you around 7.30pm?"
I smiled, "You most certainly can."
"Thank you for hearing me out and I can only apologise for not telling you
sooner about the kids." James stood and fastened his suit jacket.
"And I promise not to drunk call you again." I said blushing
slightly.
"Are you sure about that because in different circumstance I can see how
that could be amusing."
I pushed him towards the door, "Sod off before I change my mind."

I had tried numerous outfits on this evening before I
decided on a pair of smart jeans and a blouse that hugged my figure but wasn't
too revealing. I was conscious that I needed to make the right first impression
and wanted James' children to like me.
James had text me the address earlier and also sent me a polite message
thanking me for being so understanding regarding his children. It couldn't have
been easy for him but I knew exactly how he felt when he described the feeling
of not telling me from the offset and how it got harder as time went on. It
made me think of Blake and I could certainly sympathise with his situation.
I let out a sigh as I nervously stood on his porch waiting for him to open the
door.

"Right on time." He stated opening the door and
stepping aside so that I could enter his house.
I walked in to the hallway and looked around at the marvellous decor. "You
have a beautiful home," I said genuinely as he leaned closer to place a
kiss on my cheek.
"Thank you, my mother decorated it."
I turned to see a young teenage girl make her way towards us from down the
hallway. "And she did a magnificent job." James gave me a reassuring
wink as he must have sensed my nerves.
"Amy this is my beautiful daughter Hazel and Hazel this is my equally
beautiful girlfriend Amy." I smiled and extended my hand to embrace her
but she glanced at my hand with a sneer.
"Charmed." She said with a nod of the head before she moved to link
arms with her father.
I let out a small sigh hoping that the rest of the evening would be a little easier.

James escorted me through the property to the dining room
that was situated at the back of the substantial house. This gave me the
opportunity to look into their lives, most of the rooms didn't look lived in
which was a shame but I suppose it was difficult with James working so hard and
the children being brought up mainly by grandparents and childminders although
I knew James did his best to spend time with them.

"This is Callum," James said pointing to the young
boy sitting at the dining table. Callum looked up from his iPad and gave me a
vigorous wave before returning his attention back to his device. "Remember
the rules, no electronics at the dinner table." Callum didn't argue and
turned off the device before standing to place it on the sideboard.
"Please take a seat," James said extending his arm towards the table
so that I could decide where I wanted to sit.
Our attention was drawn to the chimes of the bell indicating there was someone
at the front door, and Callum jumped from his chair, "I'll get it."
He said excitedly skidding over the wood flooring as he ran to the front door.
"Go and help your brother please Hazel, and the money's on the side in the
hall." Hazel rolled her eyes before taking off at a snail's pace after her
brother.