America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 1: Feeling Lucky (4 page)

“
Are you sure we can’t just
unplug him?” whispered Depoli to Dr. Fischer. “I’ll cosign the
death certificate myself.”

“
That would be unethical,”
explained Dr. Fischer. “He probably has a lot of life left in him.
Besides, Mr. Czerinski is paying his medical bill with
cash.”

“
Whatever,” said Depoli,
abruptly leaving.

“
Excuse me, Mr. Czerinski,”
said Dr. Fischer, “How does only $200,000 help your cause? You are
still $150,000 short. Those ghouls in accounting are going to want
their money.”

“
I know,” I replied.
“Connect me up with a United States Galactic Federation Foreign
Legion ATM.”

“
But I thought the ATM was
shot up by terrorists,” replied the doctor.

“
Oh come on, Doc. There is
more than one Legion ATM. Hook me up, pronto! I want out of here!”
Minutes later it was done.

“
Good morning, Joey
Czerinski,” said the United States Galactic Federation Foreign
Legion ATM. “I heard you were shot. Crime is running rampant on
Mars these days. I think it’s all the vagrants that are attracted
by the fast life. They don’t realize how harsh colonial law can be.
Mars does not coddle criminals. It might have been a poor choice
for you to visit the Red Planet.”

“
I heard you got shot, too,”
I sniped back. “Any suspects?”

“
Yes, I was shot. Several
times. The matter is still under investigation. I’m sure the police
will catch the culprits soon. What can I do for you?” asked the
ATM.

“
I need $150,000 to pay for
my recovery. Can you help me?” I asked.

“
I can more than help you.
War has broken out on the Spider Frontier. Nuclear exchanges have
occurred, and the United States Galactic Federation Foreign Legion
will be the first deployed to the area. There is a $200,000
enlistment bonus being offered to quality recruits. Congress
doubled the war time enlistment bonus, and the loan contract and
fine print will be the same as before,” explained the
ATM.

“
It’s a deal if the one
month I have to pay back the money doesn’t start until I am fully
recovered from my injuries,” I insisted, thinking that should cover
any loopholes. I was trying to think ahead, but admitted I hadn’t
done much of that lately. Usually it was just one day at a
time.

“
We have a contract,” said
the ATM “Legion doctors will be checking on you. We don’t want
damaged goods, but I’m sure you will pass. You are in excellent
care.”

“
Fine,” I said

“
Fine,” said the
ATM.

CHAPTER 4

“
Welcome to Channel Five
World & Local News & Weather Tonight. I am Brad Jacobs.
First, from the war front we have Phil Coen, live with interviews
of our brave troops. Phil? What is the situation from planet New
Colorado?”

“
Brad, The United States
Galactic Federation’s Sixth and Seventh Fleets have smashed the
spiders’ huge armada of warships and troop transports in a
spectacular nuclear exchange in orbit around New Colorado, but not
before an army of at least a million spiders landed on the planet’s
surface and dug in. The good news is that the spider army is
effectively cut off from supply and air support, and the spiders
are no longer a threat to this quadrant of space. Most colonists
have been evacuated, and all that remains is a simple mop up
operation.”

“
Phil, that’s good news. I
understand you have some young enthusiastic USGF Foreign Legion
troopers standing by for interviews.”

“
Yes Brad. As you can see in
my background, young legionnaire commandos of the First Division’s
vaunted Third Battalion and their NCO’s are busy preparing their
equipment for the jump to the surface. Sources tell me that the
Fleet has used chemical, biological, and radiological warfare to
eradicate the spider infestation on New Colorado, but some spiders
just refuse to die unless we put boots on the ground. Morale is
good. It is thought that this operation will be quick and that
major combat operations are essentially over, pending mop-up
operations. Let’s talk to some soldiers.” Phil Coen grabbed a
legionnaire by the shoulder as he passed by and asked, “Are you
looking forward to the jump to the planet’s surface and kicking
some spider butt?”

“
Sientase, huya de mi. Viene
usted con nosotros? El infierno no!” said Private Lopez as he shook
loose and continued on his way.

“
Phil, maybe another
legionnaire,” said Jacobs. “Does anyone up there speak
English?”

“
Right Brad,” replied Coen
as he approached another legionnaire. “Are you looking forward to
mixing it up with the spiders?”

“
You must be out of your
fucking mind!” said Private Green. “Our battalion is going to drop
into the middle of a nest of about a million spiders and you are
asking me if I am looking forward to it? Is this live?” Green
looked around Phil Coen at the camera pointed at him. “Tell Bubba
Jones I’m not paying him shit.” Private Green shook his fist at the
camera. “Bubba can kiss my ass.”

“
I think Bubba Jones is
dead,” said Coen. “It was on the news.”

“
Really?” asked Private
Green. “Good riddance. That sorry fool is the reason I had to
enlist.”

“
Phil,” Brad Jacobs
interrupted, “do you get the feeling from interviewing our troops
at the front that the spiders may put up some stiff
resistance?”

“
Brad, I see a sergeant
coming my way. Let’s get his comments. Sergeant, how tough of a
fight do you expect the upcoming conflict to be?” asked
Coen.

“
You men get your weapons
and equipment squared away!” yelled Staff Sergeant Wilson. “Who the
hell are you?”

“
I’m Channel Five World News
Tonight action reporter Phil Coen, broadcasting live on the war
effort. Tell me, Sergeant, how difficult will your jump today be,
and what is your mission?”

“
This is an elite scout and
commando battalion” explained Sergeant Wilson. “Our mission is to
jump in behind enemy lines, locate where the spiders are dug in,
and call in air strikes from space. This will paralyze enemy troop
movement and disrupt command and control. Nothing is happening
today. We still need reinforcements.”

“
But I talked to your
company commander,” said Phil Coen. “He said the jump will be at
dawn.”

“
What?” Sergeant Wilson
whirled around. “Oh shit. Why am I always the last to find out
about these things? I have to go!”

“
Phil,’ Jacobs said, “maybe
you can find an officer who can comment on upcoming operations.
Someone who knows what is happening? Channel Five World News
Tonight is broadcasting live from the front at New
Colorado.”

“
Sir, can we have your
comments on this morning’s drop into spider country?” asked Coen,
hooking a captain’s arm as he attempted to pass by. “Are you
nervous about your untested troops’ performance?”

“
Who authorized you to be
broadcasting about sensitive top secret operations?” asked Captain
McGee. “Your reckless irresponsible report jeopardizes our entire
mission! Don’t you know the enemy monitors all BHTV transmissions?
They watch ZNN. Are you broadcasting in the clear? Christ!
Corporal! Throw this fool out an airlock!”

The screen went black. Music played. Finally
the image shifted back to Brad Jacobs, who squirmed uncomfortably
in his chair. He straightened a stack of papers before resuming.
“This is Brad Jacobs and Channel Five World News & Weather
Tonight. We have temporarily lost our live feed from the front at
New Colorado. I’m sure they will sort things out soon. Moving on to
local news, police detained and questioned five suspects involved
in the recent shooting and murder of a young soldier in his room at
Harrah’s Hotel & Casino, and the shooting vandalism of a United
States Galactic Federation Foreign Legion ATM. Private Joey R.
Czerinski, Third Battalion of the United States Galactic Federation
Foreign Legion’s vaunted First Division, was found murdered from a
single gunshot to the head last Tuesday. Sheriff’s Detective Mike
McCoy stated at a news conference earlier today that links to
organized crime and anti-war terrorists have been uncovered. One
suspect, after giving valuable incriminating information, was
released. Another suspect was assessed civil fines and released. A
third suspect, reputed ring leader and organized crime kingpin
Bubba (The Collector) Jones, and his two associates were charged
with murder, vandalism of federal property, unlawful possession of
a firearm, and being undesirables on Mars. After judicial review,
all three were thrown out an airlock. Moving on to the weather, it
will be hot, hot, hot all over Mars.”

CHAPTER 5

It was a bit disconcerting to hear a local TV
news commentator say I had been murdered. The upside, of course,
was that I wasn’t dead. Waking up from a coma far outweighed the
downside of not waking up at all. It was good to be alive. A check
in the mirror showed a nasty scar in the middle of my forehead, but
when I touched it, I felt no pain. My skull just had a soft spot. I
guessed there was only so much they could do with synthetic skin
and surgery. And, in spite of the scar, I was looking pretty good.
In fact, more than pretty good. The Fountain of Youth chip did its
job. I looked and felt twenty years old. My muscle tone was
perfect. I looked like a Greek god – with grey hair. I wondered if
the limited warranty covered grey hairs.

Oh, who cares, I feel great.

Even the sexual enhancement chip seems to be
working. I played around with some karate and self-help VRs, hoping
to test the fast learning chip, but didn’t notice much difference
in my memory retention. The Virtual History Channel gave me a
headache.

I was hoping that being declared murdered
would absolve me of some of my debts, obligations, and
responsibilities. No such luck. I checked my card for E-mail and
found the world still wanted a piece of Joey Czerinski.

Sergeant Mendoza of the
United States Galactic Foreign Legion left orders for me to report
to Fort Reagan for induction immediately after my discharge from
the hospital. I was going to have to do something about that
because,
hell no I won’t go.

Sheriff’s Detective McCoy sent me a
not-so-subtle note to get out of town before sundown. McCoy stated
that the unregistered gun found under my pillow had been linked to
me by DNA and fiber evidence. The only reason I had not been thrown
out an airlock for being an ‘undesirable on Mars’ was that at first
McCoy thought I was going to die anyway when they pulled the plug.
Then, the judge ruled that because of my enlistment status in the
Legion, I was to be afforded certain federal protections against
local jurisdiction. McCoy concluded that I would probably be killed
in action on New Colorado or end up as ‘spider shit.’ He filed an
appeal anyway, stating I should be thrown out an airlock as a
matter of public safety.

I can take a hint and will be leaving Mars,
but not on a Foreign Legion shuttle or beam. I checked out of the
hospital and headed straight for the casino craps tables with the
last $50,000 left on my card. Time to earn the money to pay back
the United States Galactic Federation Foreign Legion ATM.

* * * * *

Craps field betting went about as usual.
Gradually, progressive betting on the field increased my profits. A
little up and down, but my grub stake increased. Then I hit a lucky
streak that was so awesome it was spooky. I could not lose no
matter what I did. I never lost more than two bets in a row.
Feeling confident, I put $250,000 on a field bet. The dice
rolled…

Four!
Yes!
I won and let it ride. The dice
rolled…

Twelve! Twelve pays triple. The crowd that
had been gathering erupted into cheers and high fives. The casino
put two million dollars on my card. Even taking into account
inflation, two million dollars is a substantial amount. But more
important than just being rich for a day, I could pay back the ATM.
The pit boss asked me if I wanted to let it ride again. I didn’t
answer or even leave a tip. I just ran to the ATM with my card in
hand to pay back my loan.

“
Good morning, Joey R.
Czerinski. How are you this fine day?” asked the United States
Galactic Federation Foreign Legion ATM.

“
I am outstanding, chump,” I
answered. “I’m here to pay back the $200,000 loan, plus
interest.”

“
Your enlistment bonus is
yours to spend as you see fit,” said the ATM. “I do not require
that you pay it back.”

“
It’s a loan, and I am
paying it back,” I insisted. “So don’t try anything funny. I know
where you live.”

“
Your enlistment bonus
cannot be returned. You are in the Legion now, for the duration of
the war.”

“
Now wait a minute,” I said,
panicking. “What war? I have a contract, signed in blood, with
attachment transcripts on my card recording your promise that I had
one month to pay back my loan after my discharge from the hospital.
I just got discharged today. The terms of the loan are the same as
last time, and I paid that loan off, too!”

“
The terms of your
enlistment bonus are the same as last time, that is true. But,
conditions have changed. Did you read the fine print as I told you
to do? No, of course not. You are always in such a hurry to go to
the casino. You’re just a live-for-the-moment kind of guy, aren’t
you? The fine print of your enlistment bonus contract states very
clearly that a United States Galactic Federation Congressional
Declaration of War binds you to service in the USGF Foreign Legion
for the duration of said war. No amount of money can buy you out of
your contractual obligation to serve your country. Be proud. You
are finally doing something worthwhile. You are ordered to report
immediately to Fort Reagan, Mars. I have already taken the liberty
of calling you a cab and advising Sergeant Mendoza that you are en
route. As a courtesy reminder, it is a capital offense if you
refuse to report.”