Amber Earns Her Ears: My Secret Walt Disney World Cast Member Diary (25 page)

I had to go to work, though, and that night I went to Chris and Manual’s apartment to exchange Christmas presents with them and YanYing.

THERE WAS NO HYSTERICAL crying at work. No late night parties with co-workers, no adopted uncles to say goodbye to. As the end of my time with Disney approached, I felt most acutely the difference between my two programs. Yes, during my CareerStart Program there had been a period when I was ready for the program to end. But when the time had come to say goodbye, I wasn’t anywhere close to prepared.

As the College Program quickly entered a single-digit countdown, I realized that while I was sad to leave, it was nothing compared to the year before. Chris and Manual were going to South Korea to teach English; Cassandra was staying in Florida for a while to do a professional internship. Richard and Greg were also staying in Florida, so I could return at any point for my
Guitar Hero
re-match with Richard. I had seen my old manager Eddie around EPCOT sometimes on my runs, where he’d promised to get TJ, Stevenson, and I together for something, but nothing ever happened after our dinner together when I’d first arrived. Court was going back to Colorado; Courtney to Kentucky. Ashley, who I desperately wished I’d worked with more, because she was one of the most awesome people I met on the program, was going back to California.

One of the last days on my College Program was New Years. I worked the late shift at package pickup with Cassandra, Jean, Chris, and most of the other package pickup Cast Members. It was a fun day, though a little sad, because it was my last shift. The packages weren’t crazy, certainly not as crazy as some of the stories the full-timers told us of days long past, back when package pickup was still in its old location.

Of course, it would be New Years Eve that one of the expensive packages was lost. Someone had bought perfume from the shop in France, and when I had first done that run, the French man that I asked to help me find the package decided he would rather flirt. Finally, I lost my patience, and left without the package, assuming it would turn up later. It didn’t, though, and when the guest came looking for it, we called over. It was right before the fireworks were due to go off, and the Chris who worked in package pickup (there were a lot of Christophers on this program) warned me that the roads would be closed, and I would have to walk to the France Pavilion.

Why I didn’t turn around when I realized the roads weren’t closed, I’m not sure. I kept thinking that maybe later down the road, it would be closed; maybe once I passed under the bridge, they would have blocked off the roads. But they hadn’t. And it was a long walk.

Eventually, I made it behind the International Gateway, where I watched in amusement as the fireworks caused most of the car alarms to go off simultaneously. I ventured onstage, slipping in between guests heading toward the exit of the park as I made my way to France.

Lo and behold, behind the counter of the perfume shop, I found not only the package that I had been looking for earlier, but one or two other packages as well. Exasperated, I walked to the backstage area of France and paged base. Jean answered, and I asked him to come pick me up, since it had taken almost twenty minutes just to get to France in the first place.

“What, you mean you walked all the way there?!” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah, well, I was told the roads were closed. By the time I realized they weren’t, I was already over halfway here.”

Jean kindly got into a van and drove to pick me up. I gave the disgruntled guests their packages, and settled into one of the chairs to pass the rest of the night chatting with Cassandra, waving off Chris’ persistent apologies. He had thought the roads would be closed; it was totally fine. It had been a pretty night, and I didn’t mind walking that much. Bloody French.

We had a College Program get-together at CiCi’s pizza across from Vista Way on one of the last days. Ashley and I talked about music and our mutual love of Doctor Who. Later, I went into work, saying goodbye to people as we shared our last shift together.

Then it was over.

The last night, Cassandra had come over to Chris’ apartment, where we had all sat around together and talked. At one point, I fell asleep, and Cassandra was close to sleep herself, stretched out on the couch. She left, though, waking me up to say goodbye. When I woke up the next morning, my father had texted that he was on his way to load everything up and go. Chris and I walked over to my apartment to finish packing (I had already packed most of my stuff, though I never did find my copy of
Peter Pan
, and I had to fish some of my dishes — still dirty — out of the dishwasher). I took out one last load of trash, said goodbye to Chris, and got into the car with Dad.

And we drove away.

It was a strange experience. There wasn’t such a feeling of finality that I had experienced after the CareerStart Program. Cassandra and I were determined to stay in touch; her internship has since ended, and she’s back in Arizona. We’re still planning on visiting soon. Ashley and I stay in touch through Facebook quite often, our love of British television, food, and music making it fun to drop by and share a photo or quote. Chris and I Skyped, emailed, and messaged each other frequently, but a few months after we parted ways, we broke up — we had met working at Image together and started dating a few months into the program. We still keep in contact, though; he’s loving his program in Korea and has extended his stay there. Manual is off touring Europe right now, first visiting Taiwan, then Sweden.

I’ve been down to Disney once since my College Program ended. I said hello to everyone I could find: Stevenson in Fountain View, Richard coordinating in the North, Greg and Rachel working at Image. One of the other women I worked with named Ashley happened to be working then, and we talked about our mutual love of
The Hobbit
. I stopped by the Seas, and ran into Brenda in the France Pavilion as she was doing one of her runs. Grace was visiting at the same time, and I met her at Downtown Disney one night. While I was waiting for her outside Ghirardelli’s, I saw Pete walk by, but I don’t think he even noticed me. Grace was meeting a few of her other friends, as well, and we ended up going back to Vista Way with one of them. Sitting in his apartment, standing out on the balcony…as much as I had thought I was done with Disney, five months later I found myself nostalgically remembering the numerous sleepovers that had happened in this complex, getting ready for the formal in Betty’s apartment, road trips, and orange juice.

It’s odd. It feels sometimes as if I did things out of order. High school, college, internship — that’s usually the order things go in. Instead, I threw that order out the window, and keep flip-flopping between full-time school, work, and more freedom, then full-time student again.

I meet wonderful people, but once I get to know them, we part ways, never sure when we’ll see each other again.

I STILL HAVE MIXED feelings about my programs. A lot of things I wish I had done differently. A lot of things I find myself remembering in a spare moment, and I realize once again just how potent is the Disney drug.

That’s not to say I want to work for them again. While I make a point to avoid the word “never”, I would say it’s highly unlikely that I will return to work in Disney World.

The CareerStart Program was the pinnacle of what I think one of these programs should be: my job was wonderful and challenging enough to keep me from going insane, my days off were filled, and the people I worked and lived with were absolutely phenomenal.

The College Program, while it comes off most of the time as the program that changed my mind about working for Disney, was a wonderful experience, and I feel like I never do it justice when I tell people about it. Most of my regrets are about this program, though I still haven’t worked out what most of them mean. The people I met during my second stint at Disney World were just as fantastic as the people I had come to love on my first program.

Returning to Disney as a guest is a bizarre experience. People often ask if working at Disney “ruined the magic”, and I think the person asking the question has the wrong kind of magic in mind. Visiting the parks, even while I was working on the programs, still felt the same as it always had. Knowing the little secret passageways, knowing that beneath my feet were people on break or rushing to clock in, knowing the way a kitchen operates — these things actually made me enjoy my jaunts around the parks more. Even some of the dirty little secrets I became privy to while working there didn’t change the way I view Disney World.

It’s the memories that “ruined the magic” for me, though not in a bad way. Now, instead of enjoying myself in the park, I think: this was where Lindsey and I had waited in line to see Tiana and took pictures with two little kids; this is where Chris, Lauren, Grace, and I watched Wishes one night; this is where Cassandra and I flew with Peter Pan; and that is the table where I wrote my first published article.

The parks, and the areas around them, are now brimming with fantastic memories, and it’s knowing that my life will never again have that kind of stress-free enjoyment, knowing that never again will that group of people be together, caught up in the same kind of energy, that makes me…not sad, exactly, but wistful. I know the roads leading in and out of Disney World, and still part of me yearns to turn toward Chatham. I still expect to see the gorgeous Sergio serving gelato at the stand outside Italy; I still want to be able to walk into Image and see Ashley, or ring the bell at package pickup and annoy Court.

Those are the kind of memories that make going back to Disney World less enjoyable. As much as I love my family, and our trips to the parks, there’s a difference between spending time with your family as you have done for over fifteen years, and going to the parks with new friends, friends that you hope to know for the remainder of your life. Were I to sit in the Fantasmic stadium with my family, I would be looking around to pick out the spots where I sat with Cassandra or Paige. I would watch Captain EO and remember listening to Angel or Steven introducing the show. I would pass Fountain View, and the smell of waffle bowls would not make me hungry, but remind me of the times I stood there and tried not to burn my fingers, or when one of my managers told me his new theory that I was from South Africa.

I would remember standing in Tren-D, debating over my choices for Leah’s Easter present, May’s bunny and coffee mug safe in hand. “Celebrate You” will play at Magic Kingdom, and I see our unofficial roommate Chris dancing on the couch, Christina, Katie, Katherine, Jordan, Lindsey, and I in hysterics. I remember standing up against the walls of Image chatting with Bo Young or Janelle, standing with Kim over at the photo wall, taking pictures of Vicky and her family for Christmas. I remember cleaning strollers with Mackenzie and her inviting me to visit her in Washington D.C. I remember working in the North and talking with Hazel, and how she was probably one of the most loved ICPs there. I think of Chatham and remember Katie fighting with Manual in the kitchen of their apartment, and of our last night on the CareerStart Program in Ann’s Vacation Club villa. I think of Gemma telling me I have a “small Korean face”, and going to Buffalo Wild Wings with Jennifer, Betty, Sarah Mae, and Rachel.

I miss working at Disney on days when my life outside of it gets too stressful. As I worry about buying the required books for all seven of my classes this semester, or as I try to keep myself awake during astronomy lectures, I think back to what I was doing this time a year ago, or two years ago. Inevitably, I was doing something in Florida, having what seems like more fun than I’m having now. As the air starts to cool, I think fondly of walking behind the Seas on one of my runs, driving around the back of EPCOT with the windows down. While, of course, I remember the things that made me to leave the program early, I still catch myself wishing I were back there. Back with the same people, the same feeling of excitement.

I still act like a Cast Member, to an extent. Working in the food industry again, I have to remember that I don’t need to clock in five minutes early, or that I am allowed to lean against a counter if it’s slow. I have to appear busy if I’m “onstage”, a term I still apply to anywhere a customer can see you. I still use the Disney Point (two fingers, never one), and I still have the ability to switch easily into the friendly Cast Member mode at work.

The CareerStart and College Programs. A complicated mess of tears, gelato, late-night video games, and standing in way too many lines. Some people can’t wait to leave; I know people — Vicky, Rachel, Briana, Lindsey (who is right now working in Entertainment on Disney’s Fantasy cruise ship), among others — who haven’t left yet, if they ever will.

I would like to think that I’m done. I can’t see a time when I will return to work in the Disney parks; I know what it’s like to have high expectations, insurmountable first experiences, and I know that anything that happens after these programs will not measure up.

Twice now, I have put the red “earning my ears” ribbon under my nametag, and I would like to think that by now, I’ve done it.

Amber Sewell currently lives in Knoxville, Tennessee. Her first visit to Walt Disney World was in 1998; since then, her trips number well over 50. She participated in the Disney CareerStart Program in 2010 and then in the Disney College Program in 2011. She has written articles for DisneyDispatch.com and for
Celebrations
Magazine.

Amber is currently a student at the University of Tennessee, and will graduate with a degree in Creative Writing in 2013.