thought it sounded a bit like that. But Zoe said she just
needed a knight to move on to the board.’
There was a long silence. Then, ‘I always rather fancied a knighthood,’ said Nico Cadogan.
Octavia switched on the TV, in lieu of anything else to do.
A terrible film was just ending, and then there was the
news. More endless footage about the funeral, the procession
to Althorp: Mother Teresa had died. Apart from film
of her own life, there were endless shots of her with Diana
when she had visited her clinic in Calcutta. More reactions
about that round the world, very little else. Then the local
news.
‘A small girl is missing tonight, after disappearing from
Brands Hatch racecourse. Minty Fleming, aged ten
months …’ The picture of Minty she had given them,
sitting and laughing in her highchair, the only recent one
she had had with her, appeared on the screen: Octavia
stared at it, frozen with horror and shock, even though she
had known it would happen. ‘Minty was at Brands Hatch
with her parents when she disappeared, apparently with a
friend of the family … Police have been searching the
course and the surrounding area, so far without success.’
Nothing could have prepared Octavia for the horror of
that moment: when the deadly, dreadful item about a
missing child, so often at that point during the news, the
one over which normally she tutted, sympathised, said, how
dreadful, poor things, I don’t know how people stand it,
and went on very often then to say she didn’t know why
people let their children walk down roads on their own, or
play unattended: when that item had been about her, her
child, her missing child, her unattended child. She didn’t
know how they stood it, those parents; and she didn’t know
how she would stand it. She didn’t even know yet what she
had to stand.
She felt violently sick, rushed into the bathroom, threw
up; and then feeling slightly better, washed her face, and
walked back slowly in the bedroom. She sat down on a
chair by the window, staring out. It was almost dark, a
horribly lovely night, warm and starry, with an almost new moon. Louise didn’t deserve that night, she deserved something stormy and ugly, threatening her. And then she
thought that Minty did deserve, did need a lovely night, as
warm and as tender as it could be.
‘Oh, Minty,’ she said aloud, as she said to her every night
tucked safely into her cot, ‘darling Minty, God Bless. Keep
safe. I do hope you’re safe.’
Her own foolish words made her start to cry again: don’t,
Octavia, don’t. Try to remember what it was Melanie said,
keep calm, think clearly.
The tug came again; the important thing struggling to
surface, forcing its way up into her brain. What was it,
what? Something Melanie had been saying: something so
important.
Marianne. Her father. And something about going round
the country when she was small. In a caravan. Yes. The tug
was harder that time. That was definitely it.
‘God,’ said Octavia aloud. ‘God, what is it, what?’
She stood up, started pacing up and down the room. A
caravan. What about a caravan? A harder tug, the flash of a
picture then in her head. Just for a moment, then gone
again. This was like that psychometric testing they did,
when they were interviewing people for top jobs, the
modem equivalent of the ink blot test. Flash a picture in
front of their eyes, and if they said it made them think of
their mother or something equally uncompetitive, you
didn’t hire them. Or maybe you did. She couldn’t
remember. Lot of nonsense anyway.
Concentrate, Octavia, concentrate.
Travelling round the country. In a caravan. Another hazy
picture.
And then it came: beaming into her head, brightly
brilliant, a proper vision. Anna, the last time she’d seen her:
before she died. Anna worried, saying to Louise, ‘Daddy
mustn’t know about this, he’d be so cross.’
Asking Louise what Charles would be cross about and
Louise saying, carelessly, ‘Her parents had an old caravan.’
And then — yes: ‘In a field on a farm somewhere. Daddy said she had to sell it but she couldn’t bear to.’
‘Oh, God,’ said Octavia in a whisper. She stood up,
staring into the darkness as if it could tell her more still.
‘Oh, my God.’
That was where Louise would have gone: to the caravan.
Who would know she was there, dumped in a field on a farm? She would be there, in it, with Minty, thinking she was safe. Octavia felt faint, her head swirling, had to sit
down on the bed again. She realised her fists were clenched,
her hands sweating. But - yes. She felt quite quite sure. It
was where she would go, what she would do. So
anonymous, so secret, so safe. When everyone was watching
hotels, airports, buildings. An old caravan in a field.
What could be more perfect? She must go there, quickly.
But - where? Where was it, where was the caravan, where
was the farm?
Charles would know. It would be terrible having to ask
him, she shrank from the thought of it, but he would know.
She picked up the phone, took a deep breath, dialled the
number. It rang for a long time; Janet answered it.
‘Oh, hallo, Octavia,’ she said, her voice with its lovely
rolling accent heavy. ‘I’m so sorry about all this. Very very
sorry.’
‘Yes. Yes, Janet, thank you. Um — is Mr Madison there?’
‘He is, yes. Shall I get him for you?’
‘Yes. Well…’ She hesitated. Janet might know; she’d
been with the family since Louise had been born.
‘Janet, can I ask you something? In confidence. I mean
I’d rather not worry Mr Madison with it, if I don’t have to.’
“Course you can, Octavia. I’d save him all the worry I
could, poor man, at the moment.’
‘There was an old caravan. It - it belonged to Mrs
Madison’s parents.’
‘Yes, that’s right. It did. Sold, though, long time ago.’
‘Well — yes. But, Janet, do you know where it was?
Where it was kept?’
‘Yes, of course. I went there once or twice, with Mrs
[
Madison and Louise. When she was really tiny, before the
boys were born. Lovely place, in Cornwall.’
‘Cornwall!’
So far away. Impossibly far. No, not impossibly far.
Nothing was impossible.
‘Yes, near a place called Constantine Bay, little bay just
further along called Tresilith. There was a farm there, down
one of the lanes at Tresilith, one that led to the sea. Now
what was it called? Plenty Farm, yes, that’s right. And the
lane was called Plenty Lane. Anyway, it was two or three
fields across from the farmhouse, out of sight, all on its own.
Lovely spot, you could see the sea from it. Probably a car
park now.’
‘Yes, probably.’
There was a silence; then Janet said, ‘Octavia, you don’t
think that - that Louise is - that she’s gone there?’
‘I don’t know, Janet. I think perhaps she has. But I’m
trusting you not to say anything. It’s important.’
‘I won’t, Octavia. You’ll - you’ll let me know, won’t
you?’
‘Yes, Janet, of course I will. Thank you. Good night.’
She went down to Reception, asked them if they had a
road atlas. Found Cornwall, found Constantine Bay. And yes,
there was Tresilith. God, it was a long way. Poor, poor
little Minty. Dragged right across England, in a hot, strange
car.
But at least now she knew where she was. She was sure
of it. And at this time of night, she could be there in four or
five hours. Nothing.
Octavia took the map and left the hotel; she got into the
Range Rover, filled it up with petrol, and turned on to the M20.
Nearly there. Well, at least in the right county. In
Cornwall, at last. Driving across Bodmin Moor, Louise felt
desperately tired. She had had to stop twice, stand outside
the car, take deep breaths of air, to keep awake. She had
vast supplies of sweets, had munched them steadily; that always helped. She would have liked to play the radio
loudly, another trick, but she didn’t dare. Minty was asleep
again, after a long spell of screaming, another dirty nappy;
she’d changed her in the car this time, it had been terribly
difficult, on the back seat, Minty’s legs flailing, she’d got
mess on her jeans and her T-shirt, and Minty’s little pink
dress was filthy and smelly. She couldn’t wait to get her
there, change her into something clean, wash her - she
wasn’t quite sure what with, maybe just the baby wipes
until tomorrow, when she could get the caravan’s water
tank filled up — soothe her, cuddle her to sleep. Well, not
long now.
She reached Bodmin, turned in the direction of Padstow.
The lovely names that had meant nearly journey’s end as a
child, nearly nearly there, Land-end, Washaway: then
through Wadebridge, asleep, silent, much bigger than she
remembered, and then St Issey Little Petherick. And finally,
actually a signpost to Constantine Bay and Tresilith. She
had done it. She was alone, all alone in the night, no one
had followed her, nobody knew where she was …
She paused, looked up at the stars; behind her, Minty
woke, looked as if, she might start to cry again, but then saw
her and for the first time smiled a sleepy smile.
That had to be a good omen.
Felix woke up; suddenly, and clearly painfully. It hurt to
watch him. Marianne had been half asleep herself; she
looked anxiously at the monitors. They meant nothing to
her.
They meant something to the medical staff; they had set
off an alarm somewhere. Sister half ran in, looked at Felix,
examined the machines, checked the drip.
The doctor followed her. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said to
Marianne, ‘his condition’s worsening. I must ask you to
leave for a while. I’m sorry.’
She went out and sat in the corridor. She felt oddly calm.
At least she was here, at least he knew she was here. For the
moment, that seemed all that mattered.
‘Mrs Miller?’
Marianne started. She had been nearly asleep, on her
chair, out in the corridor.
‘Yes?’
‘Mrs Miller, I’m afraid — I’m afraid he’s had another heart
attack. Not so severe this time, but on top of the other
one… You might like to go and see him.’
She went back in. Felix’s eyes were closed. She took his
hand again; he opened his eyes. It was all like a grisly, well
rehearsed play.
He began to pull at the oxygen mask with both his hands;
she watched him anxiously. The nurse had come in.
‘He seems to want it off,’ said Marianne.
‘Maybe he wants to speak. Say something.’
‘Yes. Could I — just for a moment?’
‘I will.’ The nurse removed the mask.
Felix licked his dry lips very slowly. Marianne watched
him. He opened his mouth, clearly wanted to speak.
‘Felix, do you want to — to say something?’
‘Yes. Yes — please.’ He reached for her hand again, kissed
it. She looked down at him, at the great head bent over her
hand, and thought she couldn’t bear it. She stroked his hair,
his thick white hair, so symbolic, she had always thought, of
his own vigour and strength.
‘Octavia—’ he said with huge difficulty.
A slug of disappointment went through Marianne. ‘Yes?
What about Octavia? Do you want her to come?’
‘No. Not today. But tell - tell her …” A long pause; he
was clearly exhausted. He closed his eyes again, waited.
‘Yes, Felix, tell her what?’
‘Tell her Tom — Tom loves her.’
‘Tom?’ She was so astonished to hear this, she felt
breathless indeed herself: that Felix, who hated Tom, who
had wished only for Octavia to hate him too, to see him
gone from her life, should say such a thing.
‘Loves her — very — very
And then there was a great shudder through him, and then a gentler sigh: and then the cardiac monitor stopped its
regular bleep and orderly zigzag on the screen and sent out
instead a gentle high-pitched buzz and the line became
dreadfully and hopelessly level. And before Marianne had
told him how much she loved him, as she had intended and
wanted to do, stolen from her by Octavia in death as he had
been in life, Felix had died.
Octavia looked at the dashboard clock: eleven thirty. She
was doing well. Almost at the M5 turnoff. She would stop
at the next place, fill the car up again, have a coffee. She felt
very calm, very confident.
She had switched her mobile off; she didn’t want anyone,
anyone at all, not even Tom, to know where she was going.
Whatever she said, whatever he promised, he might tell the
police. He should tell the police, she should tell the police.
But she couldn’t. This was between her and Louise: nobody
else. If she was to get Minty back safely, she had to talk to
Louise quietly, and listen to her too. That would not be
achieved by a mass of police swarming round the caravan.
She was not persuaded by all the people who had told her
Louise wouldn’t hurt Minty. Louise was mad; she was