All We Know Is Falling: Fall With Me: Volume One (22 page)

That first night, I stayed in my room. I pretended to be asleep when Mom and Hadley got home because I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was mortified and confused beyond belief.

Jenna called my mom and told her about what happened. It took twenty minutes the next morning for me to talk her out of calling the school and getting the principal fired for letting something like that happen.

“I just don’t understand why someone would do that,” she said before I left for school.

“Me neither,” I shrugged, not caring anymore. It was horrible but I couldn’t gather the will to care at the moment.

“Children are evil,” she covered her eyes with her hands. “And coming from me, that’s saying a lot.”

“Yeah,” Hadley laughed. “It is.” Her eyes went to the clock on the oven and she looked back at me. “Hale better get here soon or you’re gonna be late.”

I held back a sob and kept my voice steady. “He’s not bringing me today.”

“Why?” she asked immediately.

I answered honestly. “I don’t know. But I need to leave now.” I didn’t say goodbye before I popped down to Hell.

It had been a while since I’d smelled the familiar dry air of Hell. It was empty, as it was most of the time when I came. Even the homeless man wasn’t there. So I didn’t stay. I just popped back up at the school and rushed inside before I was late.

He wasn’t in school at all that day. Each class we had together I was hoping he’d show up. But he never did.

I was all alone again. And it was awful.

All day I heard the chatter around me as the students recounted the tale of the coyote to each other. The details changed and were exaggerated but I didn’t bother correcting anyone. A lot of them blamed Hale. A few said they saw him walking with a bloody bag into the school. But he was in class with me when it was happening. None of them cared about that fact.

Everyone stared but no one asked what they wanted to ask me. Good for them, because I wasn’t in a kind mood.

I got to Gym and I almost just went home. Being here alone, on this day, was just too hard for me. My brain was going crazy trying to figure out what I did wrong with Hale. Everything was amazing. Then it wasn’t.

I spoke with Jenna and she had no clue what happened with the coyote. But word got to the faculty and they were all aware of what was as close to the real story as they could get.

Then I was told there was nothing to be done. But again, I couldn’t gather the will to give a damn about it. I felt drained of everything inside of me. And there was just no fixing it.

But hey, at least I got a new locker.



The next morning I wasn’t surprised when I woke up in bed without Hale. But that didn’t keep it from being painful. I checked my phone and there wasn’t a single text on it. No missed calls. Nothing at all.

I was starting to wonder if the boy was ever real. Or if he was just in my head. Maybe the years of being alone drove me crazy and he was just a really vivid hallucination. A wonderful one that used to make me feel like I had never felt before. One that made me not hate what I was as much, be cause he liked me for everything he saw me to be.

The thought changed when Hadley asked again why he wasn’t picking me up.

“He’s not in school today,” I lied to her. “So I’m on my own.”

“Aw,” she frowned. “Is he sick?”

I shrugged and left for Hell. Again, it was empty from all souls but mine. I wondered where The Sage was and if he was alright. Maybe he was just busy or something. I was curious where else he went when he wasn’t here. Maybe he was being someone else’s sage.

When I walked past the parking lot, my heart picked up when I saw Hale’s truck in its normal spot. I checked to see if he was in it but he was long gone. But at least he was here today. I could ask him what the Hell happened.

I was antsy through all of my first classes. Then when it was time for History. I felt like throwing up the whole walk over. I was nearly shaking with fear. I wasn’t sure how to do what I had to do. I’d never been kissing a boy just to have him take off like that.

What if he said it was my fault? How was I supposed to handle that? I guess I was about to find out.

Or not.

I sat at our table watching the door. Only he never showed up for class. But I knew he was here. He was just avoiding me. What else could it be? I was right. It was something I did, not him.

I wasn’t surprised when he was missing from lunch and Art too. When I got to Gym I finally asked Jenna for her help.

“He’s been gone two days and he won’t answer when I call him or text,” I said while the rest of the kids ran laps. “I don’t know what to do.”

She put her hand on her hip. “I wasn’t informed that he wouldn’t be in today, or yesterday. So he’s not excused. He’s not sick. Can you think of a reason he’d want to ditch? You’d know better than anyone. He’s your best friend after all.”

My forehead creased. “Maybe not.”

She looked confused. “Why not? You guys are attached at the hip.”

“We kissed,” I confessed and her mouth dropped open. “A bunch. Then he just took off with no explanation at all.”

Her joy drained. “In the middle of it?”

I nodded.

“Oh… That’s weird. Are you okay?” her face turned sympathetic.

“What do you think? My first kiss ever ended with the guy taking off and going into hiding. I’m not feeling great.”

She hugged me. “There has to be an explanation. He’s crazy about you.”

I ran my hand through my hair. “I thought that too. But I guess I was wrong.”

She was kind enough to let me go home. She marked that I was there for the whole class, so I wouldn’t get in trouble.

I went to the parking lot and almost sprinted towards my hiding spot. But I stopped dead when I saw Hale sitting in his truck. He didn’t see me. He was just staring at the steering wheel in front of him. His hands gripped it tightly even though the truck wasn’t on.

I knocked on the back window and he jumped a little at the sound. He looked at his back mirror and spotted me. I offered a neutral look but he frowned at me.

He opened his car door and slammed it when he got out. For a second or two I was properly scared. But this was Hale. He would never hurt me.

“Hi,” I tried to smile at him. “I missed you these last couple days.”

His face remained like stone. “Yeah I know. I got all your messages.”

“Oh. Why weren’t you in class?”

He crossed his arms. “Because I didn’t feel like going.”

Everything about this was wrong. He was being cold in a way I’ve never seen from him before.

I stared down at my fingernails and started picking at my nails. “Did—did I do something wrong?”

“Other than be annoyingly clingy?”

That felt like a slap right across my face. “What are you—”

“One or two calls I’d get. Five is stalker level. But I guess that’s not your fault,” he said, almost mockingly. “You’re such a shut in that you wouldn’t know the first thing about how normal people act. Let me just fill you in,” he took a step closer. “Just because someone gets bored and kisses you, doesn’t mean they want you bothering them all of the time.”

I was frozen in shock. I couldn’t understand how the boy that I’d known, was the one in front of me and not just someone that looked like him.

“Bored?” I said, not even a whisper. “But I thought that we…I thought we were,” going to be together. When he kissed me I forgot all about what I was scared of. And I was willing to take the pain, because I thought Mom was right. I was finally able to understand what she meant. 

For just a split second, his face was different. Something snapped and I could see the boy I used to know. But then, quicker than it came, it was gone. And I was left with this person I’d never met before.

“Well,” he laughed. “That’s almost cute. If it weren’t a little creepy. But no. We’re not anything.”

I was at the point where my shock was about to turn to anger. The best I could do was hold on for a little while longer. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. We were fine. What the Hell happened between your little speech about how much you wanted me then you crawling on top of me, and when you ran out of the room?”

“I came to my senses. That’s what happened. Maybe I’d rather have a girl that isn’t so nauseatingly insecure. It gets old pretty quick.”

Then everything snapped. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that to me? After you promised you’d never leave me.” Clearly that was just garbage. Everything he ever said to me was a lie. That was what he was telling me now.

He just shrugged.

No. This was so wrong for him. I just wish I knew what was happening.

“You were right,” he said after a few quiet moments.

“About what?” I nearly growled.

He swallowed and it looked like he was trying to gather the courage to say what he needed to. “I don’t want you.”

He might as well have stabbed me in the heart. It was gone now anyway. It dissolved inside of me. All I had left was anger and embarrassment.

“You’re a real bastard. You know that?”

He nodded and his face was emotionless. “I do know that.”

I scoffed. “Wow. I’m a real fucking moron,” I scratched the side of my head. I looked him right in the eye and said something that I regretted the second it was too late to fix it. “Well, enjoy being all alone, Psycho.” And I walked past him and into the woods.

When I was out of sight, I went to Hell. The scent of dust and sulfur surrounded me and I tried to clear my head. That couldn’t have just happened. It wasn’t real. This was all just a nightmare. And when I woke up, Hale would be in my bed waiting for me so he could take me to school.

I turned to see The Sage sitting on his bench.

“Well,” he smiled. “It’s been a long time. I was starting to really miss our chats. What brings you by?”

That was all it took for me to break down into tears. The next second, I was on the bench and not sure how I got there. The sobs blinded me and hurt my chest. I hadn’t cried like that since my dad died.

I felt The Sage pat my back. “There, there, Aurora. No need to cry.”

“I…can’t…make it…stop…” I sobbed and struggled to breathe.

I could see the man but barely. He looked as lost as a person could be, with an edge of anger and worry. “That boy did this,” he said it like he knew. Because he did.

I nodded. “I don’t know what I did wrong. He was…he was different.”

The Sage rubbed my back and said, “You did nothing. And the boy deserved far worse than what you said to him. I don’t give a damn about his reasoning.”

The choking sobs stopped and the tears began to slow. Still they poured. “Do you know why this happened? Can you tell me?”

He shook his head. “I’m not supposed to meddle in topside business. I’m sorry.” He stood up. “But, I can do one thing.”

“What?”

He straightened his tattered clothes. “I’m going to kill him for you.”

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. “NO!” I waved my arms around. “Please don’t hurt him!”

He huffed. “But he hurt you. And I don’t like when people hurt what’s mine.”

I dismissed that. “Please?”

He inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Can I at least scare him a little? Maybe over turn that ugly truck of his,” he smiled.

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

He waved his hand. “You’re no fun.”

I settled down in my seat and The Sage returned to me. “I just don’t understand what happened. He was fine. Sweet. Then everything got turned around.”

“I wish I could ease your pain. It brings me no joy to deny you,” he said sincerely.

I nodded. “It’s okay. I guess this is just who he is. I should have read that damn file. Now I’ll never know what he was hiding from me.”

His eyebrow went up. “Would you really undo it? You’d read the file?”

I shrugged and in the next moment, a file was in his hands. Matching what Hale’s looked like. He handed it to me and I took it.

“It’s your choice now,” he said. “You owe the boy nothing. Read it if you want to.”

My hand touched the front and I though about it. Every answer I wanted was in there. I could know it all in mere seconds.

But I had no right.

“I can’t,” I decided.

The Sage smiled. “No. I didn’t think you would.” He gestured to the file. “Open it.”

I looked at him with confusion. “But—”

“Just do it.”

I did. And I laughed at what I saw. It was stacks upon stacks of coupons for free cookies with the purchase of a sandwich at a place I’d never heard of.

“It’s in Kansas,” he said.

“Ah,” I laughed again.

The file vanished from my hands.

I went home after that. I didn’t speak to my family; instead I went to my room and laid in bed. The bed that I had my happiest moment on. Right up until something snapped and Hale left me. If I closed my eyes I could still feel his lips against mine. Soft and strong at the same time. Eager but gentle with me.