All of You (17 page)

As she sipped her coffee, Kat’s inner voice entered into a long, bloody battle with a whole bunch of feelings she would have thought herself incapable of two days ago. Just as she drained the last of the coffee and the Battle Royale in her brain entered into Round 634, Kat heard the front door lock turn. She heard Danny come in and shut the door behind him. A few seconds later he appeared in the kitchen.

“Oh, hey.” Danny tossed his keys and a few white bags onto the counter, leaned his left hip into it, and crossed his arms over chest.

He was wearing a navy Nike tracksuit with a backwards Bowling Green hat and looking delicious, as usual.

“You sleep okay?” he asked.

Kat nodded, lifting the empty DD cup up with a half-smile. “Thank you for this. You saved me from having to walk up there in the snow.”

“No problem. Sorry about stranding you here without a ride, but I wanted to get your apartment cleaned up as soon as possible.”

Kat pushed her butt to the edge of the couch and turned to face him. “That’s where you were? At my apartment?”

He nodded. “I hope you don’t mind, I took your keys and let myself in.” Danny’s lips curled. “I stayed out of the bedrooms, ‘cause that would have been creepy, but I cleaned up the living room and kitchen.” He lifted a shoulder. “I didn’t want you to have to walk back in there and see that again.”

Damn him.

More sweet and thoughtful crap Fickle Bitch Brain was going to use against Better Judgment.

“Well, thank you for that.” When Danny shrugged again, Kat said, “No, really, Danny. Thank you. I was dreading having to deal with that today.”

“Like I said, the bedrooms are still all torn up, but at least the other rooms are livable.”

They entered into another one of their weird stare-offs until Danny finally cleared his throat and gestured over to the white bags he’d brought in. “I remembered you like corned beef sandwiches, so I swung by Stillman’s on the way home and grabbed us some lunch.”

“Where did you remember that from?”

“The night Gia was born, remember? I ran out and grabbed food for everyone and brought it up to the hospital?” Danny pushed off the counter, grabbed one of the bags, and opened it. He pulled out a huge, tin-foiled sandwich that had Kat’s stomach growling and her mouth watering.

Stillman’s was her absolute favorite and she hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday.

Danny turned to face her, smiling. “Extra mustard, right?”

Kat’s eyes were suddenly full of tears she was too moved to analyze or be ashamed of.

Irrational, illogical manifestations of her utter disbelief at – and an overly emotional response to – Danny remembering such a small, insignificant detail about her.

Dumb. And dangerous. But still so lovely, all the same.

Danny’s smile faded. “You okay over there, Dr. C.?”

No.

Kat nodded, fighting back the tears with every ounce of willpower she possessed as she forced her lips into a smile. “Yep. Just waiting for you to toss me that. I’m
starving
.”

Danny grinned as he handed her the two bags and headed back into the kitchen. She heard the fridge door open. “I’ve got beer, water, and…” Kat heard some rustling. “Nope, that’s it. Beer and water. Unless, of course, you wanna do some shots of Absolut or Jack Daniels.”

“Yeah, no thanks. I’ll have a water, please,” Kat called back, already digging into her sandwich. By the time Danny made it back with her ice water, she’d already scarfed down half of it.

Laughing when he saw the damage she’d done, Danny sat next to her and propped his huge sneakers up on the table. “Good thing I got you a bag of chips and a cookie, otherwise you’d be trying to eat my stuff, too” he said with a wink.

Kat scrunched up her face at him before taking another humongous bite.

Danny opened up his bag and slowly pulled out his food. He cleared his throat. Again. It was a tell-tale sign Kat had begun recognize as nervousness.

“So, you wanna watch a movie?” he asked, eyes glued to the sandwich he was unwrapping.

Kat finished swallowing her food and then swallowed a few more times to try to clear the sudden tightness in her throat.

It wasn’t
what
Danny said, it was the tone of his voice.

More uncertainty. Weird vulnerability.

Like he wasn’t sure she wanted to spend more time with him and didn’t want to put himself out there in case she didn’t.

It was a light tone of voice Kat had used many, many times. A defense mechanism she was an expert at wielding – and spotting, apparently.

“No pressure,” he continued, obviously mistaking her silence for disinterest. Danny shrugged again. “Just thought we could turn something on while we ate. But if you wanna eat and jet, that’s cool, too. I can drive you home in a few.”

“No, I’d love to watch a movie,” Kat said quietly.

Danny finally turned and met her eyes…

And she
drowned
.

Kat didn’t know how she’d missed all of those secrets behind his eyes before, because she was seeing them as clear as day now. And they were taking a jackhammer to the last remaining self-defenses she still had standing.

So very stupid.

So very cliché.

But so very true.

Kat smiled at him, because it was either that or kiss his whole face off. “I want to stay, Danny.”

He stared at her for another few seconds before nodding and grabbing the remote. “Cool. Great. All right. Let’s see what we have going on here…”

They spent the
next two hours talking, laughing, and arguing all the way through
Thor
.

They were the best two hours of Danny’s entire life.

Hands-down.

Nothing else even came close.

He felt settled, at peace, and comfortable somehow. Having Kat in his house, all curled up next to him under his BG afghan…listening to her laugh, being able to talk to her – no fronting, bullshitting, or forethought required…

Danny couldn’t think of another 120-minutes he’d ever felt more like himself. His
real
self, whatever or whoever the fuck that was.

It was a sensation he knew he could easily get addicted to.

“I’m guessing you don’t have to work tonight?” she asked, reaching for the other half of his chocolate chip cookie.

Danny watched her, head shaking. “Where the hell do you put all that food?” When Kat grinned, he said, “I’m serious. There is no place big enough in your body to fit all that.”

“I know. I’ve always eaten a lot. Really pisses poor Gigi and Nina off, because they’ve always struggled with their weight. Unfortunately, they got my mom’s genes.”

“Maybe you should focus your research on your fucked-up metabolism. Gotta be some money in figuring out how a woman can eat like a pro athlete and still weigh a hundred pounds.”

“
A-hem
, I weigh more than that, and I’m very happy with what I’m working on now. I’ll have to leave the weight loss studies to a different researcher.”

Danny crossed his arms over his chest and turned to face her straight-on. “What is it you’re working on now?”

“There is a neurological disease, Neurofibromatosis, that causes tumors to form on nerve tissue. My research team is studying various gene therapies that might be used to slow down – or even stop, altogether – the grown of those tumors.”

Danny whistled low and long. “Sounds like important stuff. I’m impressed.”

Impressed
didn’t come close to describing how amazing he thought she was and how much her intelligence and drive had always turned him on, but Danny wasn’t about to get into all that.

Not unless his end goal was Kat on her back.

And stomach.

And side.

And on his face.

And-

“Save your admiration for when we actually make a breakthrough,” Kat said, interrupting his perverse musings. “We’ve been working on this for two years and haven’t had much success. Yet. But we will.”

“This disease, Neuro…”

“Neurofibromatosis.”

“Yeah, that. Does that have anything to do with multiple sclerosis?”

Kat shook her head. “No, nothing. Totally separate neurological pathologies.”

“Why didn’t you decide to research your own disease?” When Kat didn’t respond, Danny said, “Sorry, too personal of a question?”

Kat shook her head. “No, no. I was just thinking. No one has ever asked me that before and it’s a very good question.” She paused before saying, “The answer is, because I wanted to research a genetic disorder that affected children, specifically. MS is an awful, insidious disease, but it typically doesn’t develop in people younger than twenty. NF is present at birth and can begin affecting children’s lives at a very young age. I wanted to be involved in finding a cure or treatment that would make a difference for kids – and their parents. After my sisters started having kids, doing that became very important to me.” She paused. “Imagine the difference we could make in thousands of lives by eliminating, or just slowing down, those growths that affect so many of the bodily systems. The key to making that happen is out there…we just have to keep at it until we find it. And we will. I won’t stop until we do.”

The passion in her voice, the light in her eyes, and the absolute selflessness of her work – not to mention the crazy sexiness of her intelligence – had Danny’s fingers itching to grab her and do a whole lotta nasty shit to her.

With her.

Over and over and over again.

He bent the leg closest to her, hoping it would shield her eyes from the massive erection straining against his pants.

Kat exhaled a soft laugh. “Pretty boring stuff, huh?”

Danny shook his head slowly. “No, amazing stuff.” He turned and met her eyes. “I think
you’re
amazing.” Before he could stop himself, he added, “I always have.”

Kat rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. Very funny, Danny.”

“Does it look like I’m joking?” Danny shot back, straight-faced. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I met you.”

Kat’s smile faded. “But you wanted
Stella
that night. Remember?”

Danny shook his head. “I never wanted Stella. I was playing a game –
my
game. The one that says I have to hit on any woman I might have the slightest chance of screwing, just to see if I can.”

“But Stella
never
would have screwed you,” Kat said with such vehemence that Danny busted out laughing, which brought a tiny smile to Kat’s lips.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that at the time. She was just a fiery little thing we’d almost arrested; I had no idea she was way too smart to ever go for the likes of me. But you?” Danny shook his head again. “The second I saw you, I knew you were way too good for me.”

“And what’s so wrong with you?”

Danny scoffed. “Come on, you know the answer to that better than anyone, Kat. You saw through me that night and you still do. I’m an insecure foster kid fuck-up with the morals of an alley cat and probably the future of an alcoholic bum. What woman would give me the time of day? Except for fucking. Or fucking around.” He forced out a harsh laugh. “That’s all I’m good for, anyway, so I guess it works out just right, huh?”

When she didn’t answer, Danny glanced over to find Kat’s eyes swimming in unshed tears.

He yanked his legs off the table and turned to face her, voice lowered. “Hey, no, don’t do that. I’m joking around, no big deal.” One tear escaped and ran down her cheek, twisting every stomach muscle Danny had into a billion knots. “
No, sweetheart, no…
” He dashed the tear away with his fingers and cupped her face.

Danny searched her watery eyes. “Why are you crying, Kat?” He forced his lips into a tight smile. “No need to feel sorry for ole Danny boy. I’m hanging in there just fine. Having the time of my life, actually.”

“
Bullshit,
” Kat whispered, and Danny’s smile vanished.

“Yeah, bullshit. But not your problem. I shouldn’t have laid that all on you like that. I’m sorry, Kat. Let’s change the subject.”

When Kat didn’t say anything, Danny leaned back into his space and sighed. “Or maybe you’re ready for me to take you home. That’s probably best. I’ve got shit going on tonight, anyway. I’ll grab my-”

“I’m not ready to go home yet, Danny,” Kat whispered. His head whipped around to face her and she shook her head, eyes still damp. “I don’t know why…I just know I’m not ready yet.”

Danny didn’t think. He didn’t consider or calculate or even wonder. He simply leaned over and pulled Kat into his lap, positioning her legs on either side of his with his hands at her waist. With one quick tug, they were body-to-body and Danny held his breath, not sure if she’d kiss him again or slap his face.

She did neither. Instead Kat began skating her hands over his shoulders, up his neck, and then ran her fingers through his hair – all the while, her eyes searching every inch of Danny’s face like she would have a stranger’s…

Like she was seeing him for the first time.

Kat dragged her fingertips down his face and Danny’s eyelids instinctively closed, the sensation of her hands on his body – especially his face – almost too intense to take. He was embarrassed that Kat could probably feel him trembling, but was too fucked-up to care.

Kat slid her hand down and wrapped it around the back of his neck, slowly pulling him toward her. But, instead of kissing him, she pulled his face into the crook of her neck and buried her face in the crook of his. “I don’t know why, but I don’t want to leave you, Danny,” she whispered against his skin.

And then she held him.

It was the most intimate, heartbreaking, beautiful moment of his life.

‡