Adrift (17 page)

“How on earth are you doing?” I demanded.

“It’s the Gateway,” Devin said, with a shrug.  “I can’t do much, but I can levitate the hell out of a strawberry.”

I laughed.  “Well, that’s a useful talent.”

Devin grinned and opened his mouth.  The strawberry gracefully arced down and gently landed inside his mouth.  He chewed it happily, winking at me.

“OK,” I admitted.  “I take it back, it really is a useful talent after all.”

Devin shrugged, laughing.  “It takes a lot of energy, but it’s a good parlor trick, I guess.  It’s not like I could pick all the berries in the clearing with one go or anything.”

I sighed wistfully.  “That would have been nice.”

Devin leaned towards me, a twinkle in his eyes.  I suddenly saw in him the mischievous little boy he must have been, before his father died.  “Do you want to see the Gateway?” he whispered, conspiratorially.

I choked on a berry.  “Seriously?  Could I?”

He nodded.  “Just watch.”

I stared in wonder and eager anticipation as Devin clambered to his feet.  He brushed his jeans off carelessly, staring into what looked to my eyes to be empty air.  He raised one hand part way up in front of him, his fingers reaching out, as if he were clasping something, something invisible to me.  I was only inches away, but, when I heard him speak, I couldn’t make out the words.  They were somehow muffled and strange, as if my brain couldn’t even comprehend a language that might exist in relation to the words he spoke.  I could feel a tingle of electricity trace up my spine.  There was power here, for sure.

The air around us began to shimmer.  Waves of golden light rippled around me.  I reached out a finger and felt a warm buzz extruding from a tiny golden sparkle.  It tickled and I giggled, as another spark brushed past my face and tickled my nose.  There was something almost intelligent in the way the sparkles moved.

I gasped as I realized that billions of these tiny sparks were moving and twisting together to form some kind of complicated net.  It resembled something that could only be the most beautiful piece of craftsmanship in the world, or the strongest length of knotted chains ever created.

The Gateway buzzed with energy.  My hair lifted off of my neck and I clapped my hands down on my head, trying to prevent a serious case of electrified mohawk.

The sparkles were not the only defense of the Gateway, I realized. There were constantly moving streaks of silver and jewel toned light flashing through my vision at seemingly random intervals.

The whole effect was something spectacular.

Devin dropped his hand, and the whole spectacle disappeared.

“Wow,” I gasped, unable to think of anything remotely intelligent to say in the aftermath of such a sight.

Devin shrugged and dropped down next to me on the ground.  “It’s always there, we just can’t always see it.”

“It’s magnificent,” I murmured.  “I can’t believe that something like that really exists.”

Devin’s smile twisted a little, bitterly.  “Ah, but it does exist and it’s up to yours truly to make sure it doesn’t fall apart and let Faerie leak back into this world of ours.”

“Would it really be so terrible?” I wondered out loud.

Devin shivered.  “Oh, yes, it would be truly terrible.  There’s a reason why our ancestors decided that the only hope for humankind was to lock Faerie behind the strongest gates possible.  Think of all the myths and legends you have ever heard.  Imagine what it would be like to live in a world where the Fae roamed freely, doing whatsoever they pleased, with mortals unable to put a stop to any of their horrors, the things the immortals would do just because they wanted to.”  He shuddered.  “There are dark creatures in Faerie, Meg.  The Gateway is the only thing standing between us and powers beyond human comprehension.”

I sighed.  “I guess I was thinking more about pixies and unicorns… all those things I used to dream of, when I was a little girl.”

“I won’t deny that there was much beauty, back when Faerie was free,” Devin conceded, “But it’s not worth the risk-- the danger is far too great.”

“What if something happened to you?  Would Maura take over?”

Devin winced.  “No.  Maura doesn’t have the bloodline, like I do.  It passed to me through my father, and through my father’s mother.  I am the last of my line.  If something were to happen to me… well, God have mercy on the world.”

“If it’s so important, why haven’t you married? You know,  have kids?  Pass on the bloodline.”

Devin laughed hollowly.  “Believe me, Maura daily begs me to marry and pass on the work, but how could I ever do that, knowing as well as I do the weight and consequences of this life?  As it is, this is the one thing Magic hasn’t taken from me.  I fully intend to marry someday, marry a person I love.  I won’t race into a relationship just to pop out magical babies to carry on the traditions.”  He sighed.  “I’m thirty now.  I guess I should consider the future instead of running from it all my life.”  He smiled sadly at me.  “That’s another reason you scare me so much, Meg.  I could see myself settling down and having a real future with someone like you.  I can see it as clear as day.  But, what kind of mother would want her children to suffer what I have?”

I leaned my head against Devin’s shoulders.  “You should have the right to marry whomever you choose,” I told him.  “Any woman would be lucky to have you.”

He laughed bitterly.  “And the magic?”

I shrugged.  “Well, every relationship has its roadblocks, right?  Whoever you choose will just have to know that you are worth any risk.”

Devin groaned.  “If only I had the nerve to just let the Gateway fall to pieces, then my life would be so much easier.  I might actually be allowed to have a life, for once.  I’ve been doing this since I was ten, Meg.  Well, really, all my life.  I spent my childhood following my father’s footsteps.  I never had a chance at being carefree.  This was always hanging over my head.”

I smoothed his hair down with a hand, wishing I could soothe his soul with my touch.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.  “I am so very sorry that this had to fall on your shoulders.  The world doesn’t even know that they are being protected by such a wonderful person.”

The corner of Devin’s mouth turned up.  He chuckled.  “Oh, Meg, I don’t deserve you.  I’ve been nothing but harsh with you and you still care for me.”

“I love you,” I said, quietly. 

Devin took my face in his hands, staring deeply into my eyes.  “And I love you.  Never doubt that.” 

Chapter Fourteen

I dreamed of Faerie, but it had changed.  The trees were silver-cold and dark, with branches twisting towards a moon that was full, but radiated more than light.  The hair prickled on the back of my neck as the wind whispered by, twisting around me like a noose, then fleeing away.

Part of me had always known that Faerie couldn’t all be gold and light, that, as with mortality, there was balance.

I was terrified now to find that I had been so right.  My heart raced wildly as I tried to find my way through the grasping fingers of the trees.

Silver-blue mist gathered and I could see forms within the dank miasma.  I tried to pull away, but found myself frozen, whether by fear or something of a more sinister nature, I could not be sure.  Even my breathing grew heavy, the air strangely thick in my lungs, refusing me the nourishment my body craved.  My chest caved in where my heart had been.  I felt it crushing in as the darkness crept closer to me, swallowing even my will to live… to exist.

The sensation of hunger filled me and I knew that, whatever this darkness was, it hungered, not for my blood, as the evils from so many tales of old, but for my very mortality, my soul, my essence.  It flowed around me with a sensuous terror, as if it were licking its lips, tasting my frailty.  The cloud stretched, luxuriating in my mortality, my doom.

Into this impossible never-ending blackness came light.  It was light so blinding, so pure, so perfect, that I, under the spell of this evil substance, drew away with a cry of fear.

Strong arms grasped me, lifting me up and carrying me away.  A clear voice rang out and the darkness fled, with the hissing of a giant serpent denied its feast.

I turned my head and wept into Omyn’s chest.

“Not all of Faerie is… bright.”  Omyn’s voice reverberated against my ear from the depths of his chest.

I felt a bubble of hysteria rise in my throat and burst out in a sharp sound, midway between a laugh and a sob.

“What was that thing?” I gasped, trying to center myself, to pretend that the warmth I felt in Omyn’s arms was all comfort and nothing more.

“A thought,” came the surprising answer, “the thought of a young dragon, yet unformed.”

“Dragons… Are they all… like that?”

Omyn paused.  “That is not a simple question.  Dragons are born of chaos and beget chaos.  Do they all hunger as that—for mortal souls?  That I do not know.  All us Fae feel it, but not with such rapacity.”

I tried to imagine what it would be like to be an immortal creature, hungering for mortality and change.  I found myself suddenly aware that I was… clinging… to such an immortal creature, the scent of him—sweet, subtle, wild, so unfamiliar, yet so soul-stirring and desirable.

He bent his head and his breath was nectar, sweeping over me.  I reached up, arching onto my toes to reach his superior height, dragging my own too-mortal hands through the perfect impossibly soft golden hair that framed his glorious face.

This must be what it’s like to kiss a god, I thought, melting into him.

My whole body tingled with flashes of golden fire.  It was passion, desire, and something else—as the immortal heritage in me accepted its place and the mortal part of me cried out in ecstasy, while one tiny part of me, so very small, keened in terror.

We tasted each other slowly, him savoring my mortal flavor, me basking in his immortality.  I did not realize I was crying until he tasted my tears, too.

“Why do you weep?” He asked me.

I couldn’t answer, but my heart throbbed within me.

And I knew I was doomed.

I loved Devin.  I needed him.

And now I knew I loved Omyn, too.

I was not mistaking lust for love.  I knew the difference.  My blood thundered in me with them both, but there was something more. 

They were both part of me now, and I could never rescind one without tearing out a piece of myself.

My immortal part needed Devin to reassure me of my mortality, yet my mortality desperately needed Omyn’s eternal unchanging self.  He made me believe in something more… that, maybe, I could even be part of it.

Maybe there was a place for me in Faerie after all.

I awoke in the darkness, tears still rolling down my cheeks.  Devin leaned on one arm, beside me, his eyes quietly watching my face.  His eyes were full of pain.  He pulled away from my grasping hands and unzipped the tent door, stepping out into the darkness.

I swore, silently, to myself.  I struggled to escape the confines of my sleeping bag and stumbled after him.  “Devin!  Wait!”

He stopped by the edge of the clearing, his back to me, rigid and hard as stone.  He turned slowly to face me.  His face was blank, still and cold.

“You know I love you,” I whispered, feeling my heart constrict.

Devin’s face turned away and he shrugged with frustration.  I wanted to reach out and hold him, but I folded my arms across my chest, trying to hold myself together.

“Not like that,” he said, suddenly.  He clenched his fists and his face was full of hurt and pain.  “Not like you love Omyn.”

“That’s not fair,” I protested, but my voice could only muster a whisper.  “I do love you.  I do.”

“I know.”  His shoulders slumped.  “But it’s not the same.  I’m just a friend—someone you love to have around.”

“No,” I shook my head, fiercely.  “Devin, you’re not listening.”  I took a step towards him and put a hand on his arm.  “I may love Kip,” I tried to make my voice light and teasing.  “I love having him around, but I would never, ever--” I pulled my arms around Devin’s neck and could see his eyes widen.  “—ever do this to him.”

Before he could protest I slid my other arm around his neck.  Pulling myself onto my tiptoes, I gently brushed across his lips with mine.  He froze and I, ever so gently, took his lower lip in my teeth.  His hands tightened around my waist.   I explored his mouth with mine, hungrily, needing the taste of him.  I dug my fingers into his hair, breathing him in.

From nowhere, Kip came bounding through the underbrush.  His playful blundering swept us off of our feet and tumbling into a mess of ferns.  I looked down into Devin’s oh so human and beloved face and kissed him again, slowly.  When I pulled away, his eyes were closed.

“I do love you,” I told him, fiercely.

His eyes still closed, he smiled that wonderful lazy smile of his.  “I think I’m starting to believe you.”