Adopted Parents (11 page)

Hallie knew exactly how Ahn felt. She finally walked across the nursery and pushed the intercom button on the wall.

“Nate, can you hear me?”

She waited a second and pushed the button again. “Nate.”

“I’m here,” he finally said.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but Ahn won’t stop crying.”

He said he was on his way.

Hallie hurried downstairs to let Nate in. She’d been so sure they were making progress. So sure Ahn was warming up to her. So sure that, finally, she was doing something right.

All Hallie was sure of now was that she couldn’t wait for Nate to take over.

Nate walked in and looked at Ahn before his eyes traveled over Hallie’s skimpy pajamas.

Every nerve in Hallie’s body snapped to attention.

She shook it off. “I’m sorry I had to call you, but she’s been crying since one o’clock.”

He reached out to take the baby. “Why didn’t you call me earlier?”

“It didn’t make any sense for both of us to lose sleep.”

The second Nate lifted Ahn to his shoulder she put her arms around his neck and held on tight. When her crying slowed to sniffs, Nate looked over the top of Ahn’s head. “Go back to bed.” He nodded toward the stairs. “I’ll bring Ahn up after she’s calmed down.”

He was being considerate, and Hallie knew it. But his dismissal made her feel even more irrelevant.

“Go,” he said, waving her on.

Hallie didn’t have to be told she wasn’t needed twice.

She headed for the stairs, pausing on the bottom step only long enough to say, “I have the baby monitor next to the bed, so I’ll be able to hear Ahn after you leave. Just remember to lock the door behind you.”

He nodded, gently swaying with Ahn to soothe her.

Go back to bed.

How she wished it were that easy. Hallie already knew sleep would be a long time coming. Sleep had eluded her most nights since the accident, leaving her lying alone staring at the ceiling.

She sat on the side of the bed, too tired to be tired if that made any sense. She was tired of all of it. Tired of feeling out of control. Tired of feeling like a failure with Ahn. Tired of feeling dead on the inside.

Janet and David had died in that car wreck. Not her.

Yet she’d slowly been fading into a ghost of the woman she’d been before the accident. She needed to feel
alive
again. She needed assurance that her hopes and wants and needs hadn’t been buried along with her sister.

Hallie glanced at the monitor on the bedside table. Ahn was in her crib, Nate was covering her up. Hallie waited until Ahn’s room went dark before she stood and walked away from the bed.

Not when she didn’t try to hide her raw, burning need.

“My turn,” she said. “I need you to hold
me
now. I need you to hold me and tell me everything’s going to be okay.”

At that moment, Nate admitted what he’d known all along. He loved her. But he loved Hallie too much not to be honest with her. He walked to where she was standing, her back against the bedroom door leaving only inches between them.

He caressed the side of her face. “If you take me to your bed, Hallie, I can’t promise you forever.”

“No one can promise forever, Nate. Promise me now.”

Nate didn’t resist when Hallie took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom. She stopped at the side of the bed, never saying a word as she slowly undressed in front of him.

She stood there, baring herself body and soul.

She was the most beautiful thing Nate had ever seen.

He pulled off his T-shirt and stepped out of his jeans. And when he got into bed beside her, Nate pulled Hallie close against him, holding her the way she needed to be held, and whispering over and over that everything
was
going to be okay.

He didn’t try to rush her. He didn’t push her to do anything. He gave her time to decide if she did want more.

She moved closer against him and the feel of her soft, full breasts against his chest made him stir. Her hand slid downward across his stomach, stopping when it reached where he couldn’t hide how much he wanted her.

Nate shivered when she touched him.

She rolled on top of him, taking him inside her.

They both moaned when she did.

Nate grabbed her hips, holding her in place as she moved against him, slowly at first, faster as she became lost in her own need. Nate matched her thrust for thrust. He understood her urgency. Felt how desperately Hallie needed to feel the pleasure again in order to forget the pain.

Nate gave her what she needed. Pleasure for the sake of pleasure—nothing else.

But when she cried out, her body quivering as she collapsed against him, Nate rolled her onto her side, cupped her beautiful face in his hands and kissed her tenderly. Now he’d give her what Hallie didn’t know she needed. Something Nate needed from her just as badly.

More than meaningless sex.

“I want to show you how I’ve dreamed of making love to you from the first time you looked in my direction.”

He let his fingers slowly trail down her stomach, past her navel. He parted her legs. And when his finger moved inside her, Hallie fisted the sheets.

“And I want you to know I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I’ve always wanted you.”

His mouth trailed down from her breast, down to the center of her stomach. Hallie gasped when his mouth moved lower. He parted her legs again, placing them over his shoulders as he lowered his head and placed his mouth against her. Her fingernails sank into his rock-hard flesh as his tongue slid inside her.

He took his time, teasing her, suckling her, driving her crazy as wave after wave of pure ecstasy took her to places Hallie had never been before. And just when she thought she was completely satiated, Nate kissed his way back up her body, making her mad with desire all over again.

“I want inside you now,” he whispered. “I want inside you so deep you’ll never forget I’ve been there.”

He entered her possessively this time. Claiming what he wanted. Backing up his threat that she’d never be able to forget him.

Never had Hallie been more turned on.

“Look at me,” Nate said.

Hallie did.

“I want you to see how much I want you. I want you to see how much I’ve always wanted you so there’ll never be any doubt in your mind about that again.”

He moved slowly at first, taking her with him as he moved faster, increasing the intensity of what they were sharing together. Hallie’s eyes never left his face.

It was the most sensual moment of her life, staring into his eyes, finally letting herself feel what she could see Nate was feeling. No holding back. So caught up in each other nothing else mattered except the uncontainable desire that had finally brought them full circle.

He thrust deeper inside her, his own urgency mounting. Faster now. And faster. Bringing them closer to that last final peak. They were so close she could feel it, the pressure of his climax building, her own muscles tightening around him. They were right at the edge now. Right at the edge of no return.

“Now,” he said. “Come with me now.”

Their bodies came together in one explosive orgasm.

And Hallie stopped lying to herself.

As wrong as he was for her, she was in love with Nate.

Always had been.

Always would be.

He was forty years old.

And what did he have to show for it?

Very damn little.

The life he’d been living was completely pointless. Putting himself in dangerous situations. Hopping from assignment to assignment. Playing the role of some renegade desperado who didn’t need or want anyone in his life.

He thought of how Hallie had looked standing by the bed, unashamed of how much she wanted and needed him.

He thought of Ahn’s little arms around his neck, holding on tight, needing him to comfort her because he was the only one who could.

They weren’t sucking the life out of him.

They were offering him a chance to love and be loved.

He’d always heard that people eventually reached a crossroads in their life they couldn’t avoid. There was no doubt in Nate’s mind that he had reached his.

It was time to stop running from love and affection and start giving it. And it was time he stopped worrying about the risk. Loving Hallie would either make him or break him. But there was nothing Nate could do about it now.

The train left the station the second he touched her.

All Nate could do now was hold on for the ride.

“You know you can’t do that when Roberta and The Colonel arrive,” Hallie reminded him.

“Can I do this?”

He turned her around for a long kiss, pulling her against him so close she could feel how much he wanted her. Hallie put her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

She wasn’t going to worry about how long
now
would last. And she wasn’t going to worry about what would happen when
now
ended. She was going to enjoy every night she spent in Nate’s arms, every kiss he gave her and every moment they spent together.

Hallie finally pulled away from him. “Are you sure a kiss from me is worth Roberta’s wrath?”

He grinned. “It’s worth it, but I think I’ll pass.”

“Coward,” Hallie teased.

He gave her another quick kiss before he returned to where he and Ahn had building blocks spread out on the floor. Ahn rewarded him with a baby smile when Nate sat down on the floor beside her.

“You’re stealing my heart, you little thief,” he told Ahn and reached out and tickled her.

Ahn giggled in delight.

Hallie turned her attention back to the picnic basket she was packing. Gladys had prepared them a Fourth of July feast before she left that morning—roasted chicken, potato salad, baked beans…enough for four people in stead of only two. So Hallie had invited Roberta and The Colonel to attend the fireworks display with them that evening. It would be the first time Roberta had been to Wedge Pond since Hallie started taking care of Ahn, even though they talked on the phone regularly. Roberta had seemed pleased when Hallie invited them.

Hallie also wasn’t going to worry that Roberta had a sixth sense when it came to picking up on things you least wanted her to know. She and Nate had been masters at ignoring each other for years. They could revive that role for one evening.

But as she placed the paper plates and napkins into the basket, Hallie glanced back at Nate and Ahn. One thing that did have her worried was the change in the dynamics between Nate and Ahn now that the three of them were living in the same house.

Nate had always been good with her, and Hallie knew he loved Ahn, just as she did. But the lines were beginning to blur a little, as if Nate had decided to ignore the reality that their time with Ahn was only temporary.

Was it possible Nate would be too selfish to give Ahn up? Hallie didn’t have a chance to ponder that possibility further when a knock at the door announced their company had arrived.

Nate was already on his feet, shaking hands with The Colonel. Roberta was bending down to get a good look at Ahn.

“My goodness, Ahn, how you’ve grown.”

Hallie wiped her hands on a dish towel and walked in their direction. “I’m so glad you came,” Hallie said, looking first at Roberta, then over at The Colonel. “I thought we’d leave early so we can find a good spot to watch the fireworks. There’s plenty of room in Nate’s Range Rover so we can all ride together.”

“No, it’s better if The Colonel and I follow you,” Roberta said. “Leaving from Winchester after the fireworks will be closer for us rather than coming back here to Wedge Pond.”

Hallie felt like cheering.

And she didn’t dare glance at Nate.

Hallie was looking forward to enjoying the evening rather than spending it defending herself for allowing the very thing Roberta had predicted to happen. “Okay, then,” Hallie said. “I already have the picnic basket packed and the cooler is on the deck. Give us a few minutes to get things loaded and we’ll be on our way.”

“I can help with that,” The Colonel offered.

Hallie handed the basket over to The Colonel. When he and Nate went outside to load, Hallie looked at Roberta and smiled.

“He’s such a nice man, Roberta. I’m glad you have him in your life.”

“So am I,” Roberta said. “And after you have Ahn settled, I hope you’ll get serious about finding someone special, too, Hallie. You deserve that.”

Hallie avoided eye contact with Roberta by bending down to pick up the blocks and put them in the wicker basket by the sofa. “Can you say fireworks?” Hallie asked Ahn out of habit.

Ahn’s answer was to stick her thumb in her mouth.

“She’s still being stubborn about talking, I see.”

Hallie stood up and took hold of Ahn’s hand. “No, she still isn’t talking, but we’re making progress every day. My goal is to have Ahn talking by the time we begin interviewing parents.”

“I’m proud of you, Hallie. I thought you were making a mistake, but I was wrong. A nanny wouldn’t have given Ahn the attention you’re devoting to her. You made the right decision.”

Hallie was surprised. “Thank you, Roberta.”

Roberta had never paid her a direct compliment before.