Act Like You Know (6 page)

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Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore

BOOK: Act Like You Know
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One of the Mexican guys said, “She's with us. She's fine.”
“You don't even know where she lives or who she is. We came to get our girl.” Loni grabbed my hand.
Onyx and TJ stood behind my girls. TJ said to my two guys, “We don't have no problem, do we?”
“We were just showing her a good time,” one Mexican dude said.
Oynx said, “What the heck y'all been giving her, man?”
“I gotta go to the bathroom!” I shouted.
The one guy would not get up so I could leave. The next thing I knew, everything in me came up as I let out a long gasp.
6
PERTINENT
I
woke up in silky sheets in a panic. I was sweating all over and replaying the night's events in my mind.
“You're okay, you're okay,” I heard Malloy say as I felt a wet washcloth across my brow.
“Oh, my gosh, I feel sick. My stomach is burning,” I said as I tossed and turned in the bed.
Malloy said, “You're going to be okay. You're going to be fine. Relax. Torian and Loni told me what happened. You're okay. You're at Kade's house now.”
I needed some Tums or Pepto-Bismol or something to coat my stomach. I guess because I had been severely depressed about my mom and having my own pity party about my grades, I just kept doing one stupid thing after another. Now I had made myself physically ill.
“You're not supposed to be in here with me,” I quietly uttered. “You need to be taking care of Kade.”
“He's knocked out asleep. I heard you in here tossing. Torian and Loni were on duty earlier, but they're asleep now. I told them I would watch you. Kade would be so bummed if you got even worse overnight if somebody didn't watch you. He wanted to rush you to the hospital to get your stomach pumped for us to make absolutely sure all those drugs—or whatever it was you took—are completely out of your system.”
“I know. Right. Urgh. What was I thinking, Malloy? I just hate myself right now.”
“Well, first of all we need to get you a T-shirt.” She walked over to a drawer and tossed me one of Kade's shirts.
It hit my nose. “It smells so good. You're so lucky to have a man so sweet.”
“I just need to get him well, and I need to get my new friend well, too,” she said as she handed me a glass of water.
“Drink this. Alyx, tell my why you did this, girl?”
“I don't know,” I said, clutching my stomach. “I wish I had the answers.” I looked away, rolled over on my knees, and held my stomach some more. I felt horrible, but Malloy wouldn't let up. She sat in a nearby chair, and ten minutes later when my stomach calmed down a bit, she asked again.
“Tell me, girl, what is going on with you? You know why you took something from some guys you didn't know? They might have been from Mexico like you, but so what?”
Torian and Loni have big mouths.
Or maybe it was good they cared. I had been tripping, and they hadn't left me alone.
Malloy got that I was ticked that they had talked. “Don't be upset. I wanted to know everything, so I made them spill the beans. And Kade was mad at his boys. They were supposed to be looking out for you, and they were trying to get in your pants. Then they turn you over to some strangers.”
“I'm a grown woman,” I said. “Kade isn't my dad.”
“Obviously you're not big-girl enough,” Malloy said. “Seriously though, Alyx, I know life doesn't seem fair, and you're dealing with a lot right now with your mom. Plus, I know you told me school and tutoring aren't working out all that well, but you got to shake it off and decide you want to make the right decisions. Maybe this turned out okay, but what if you had taken something you couldn't just throw up? None of us would have known what is was. Those guys bolted. None of us know how to get in touch with them or where they went. I guess I'm saying you've got another chance to get it right, but you've got to want to do right for you. Do you understand how crucial this is? This is your life, girl.”
I reached over and hugged her. I really appreciated how much she cared, and in her embrace I felt the urgency. Someway, somehow I was going to shake off the silliness and get my life together.
 
A week later, we were back on campus in the Beta Gamma Pi sorority room we weren't supposed to still have. However, because our Chapter President's uncle was the president of Western Smith, he was allowing us to still use the space.
Though my chapter in Texas was smaller, we were big on parliamentary procedures. We used
Robert's Rules of Order;
this was the first thing we got trained in after we crossed. My past collegiate adviser believed in running an orderly meeting, but as I looked around the room at my line and Western Smith's line, I didn't even see Western Smith's collegiate adviser anywhere.
I sat there as the two lines started arguing about whether we should have a party and whether we should go around and help other chapters around with their lines. They were talking over each other. Then they starting saying some truly nasty stuff to each other.
Bea, in particular, said, “I know we're suspended, but having a little party to raise a little money isn't going to kill anybody. The National President isn't going to know everything we do unless somebody in this room has a direct line to her snitches.”
“Oh, so what are you trying to say?” Malloy said with angry veins busting from her skull. “Because I want to do things right so we can get our chapter back in compliance and back on campus. I'm not letting some of y'all pull down this chapter again.”
Hayden tried cutting in when her line sisters and Malloy's line sisters were almost at blows. “Everybody just needs to settle down.”
However, sorors started screaming back and forth. The lines were ready to defend their point. Bea looked at me to join her side, knowing I had been hazed and may hold that against my line, and Malloy stared me down—she knew I truly felt bad about all her line had been through and that now I had second thoughts about hazing being right.
Actually, I didn't want to be a part of either group. They obviously needed some order, so I raised my hand. Everybody just stared at me and then quieted down for me to speak, but the chair didn't recognize me.
I motioned up front to Hayden. “Do I have the floor, Madam President?”
“Yeah, you may say something, Alyx.”
“Well, I know you all are wondering why I didn't just shout out what I had to say, but you all aren't working in order. The chair has to recognize you before you can speak. I believe
Robert's Rules of Order
is an important book that keeps the feelings down and let's everybody be heard respectfully. Then you vote on what's best for the body.”
“And how do you know all this?” Trisha asked impulsively, apparently having heard nothing I'd said about protocol.
Sweetly as I could, I said, “I wish you hadn't just talked out of turn, but to answer your question, my chapter got trained in it. That's one of the workshops we had to do—actually, we had to master it.”
“Why is it even important?” Torian asked.
“Well, because you guys have been shouting at each other, and nobody is really hearing anyone's argument. As I sat here and listened, you all made good points, but if no side is really hearing what you have to say, it's ineffective for the chapter.
Robert's Rules
also says no one should speak on a motion more than twice.”
“Motion? What's a motion?” Bea said.
“Well, that's just it. We've been discussing stuff, but there's been no formal way of placing that item out there for the chapter to officially discuss. To start this meeting, no kind of agenda was even adopted; thus, anything goes, and we're wasting time.”
“Yeah, because I wanted to talk about some things, but the President didn't put it on the agenda. So we just had to go with what she wanted to talk about,” Bea said.
“Well, that's because I'm the only one that takes the time to do the agenda,” Hayden said. “I'm not saying it has to be this way.”
“And that's why you are supposed to jot down the agenda in the beginning of a meeting anyway. That way, anybody can add or take away an item they feel we don't need to discuss. The agenda must be approved by a two-thirds vote. And if you don't even have a quorum present. . .”
“A quorum? What's that?” Trisha asked.
Malloy said, “The majority of your members present.”
“I read the bylaws for this chapter, and we need two-thirds of our members present to do business. In other words, if two-thirds of the people are here, we can conduct business, voting, etc. If two-thirds aren't present, it's information only, meaning we can never vote on anything, and nothing can move out of this meeting.”
“Wow, Soror Cruz. I am really impressed,” Hayden said.
“I just want what's best for our chapter. When we fuss and argue and do all that stuff, people get all worked up, and we aren't working toward change. By operating within the confines of
Robert's Rules of Order
, I think we'll give the respect every soror here deserves and is looking for. Let the vote speak for itself. Our organization is based on moral standards, so whatever rules and grounds the National President sets, we have to stick by it, or we are jeopardizing this chapter. We could be suspended indefinitely, and I don't think anyone in this room would want to be accused of such an awful thing. What we do now affects those coming behind us; it's a high responsibility, and I know we'll all do what's right.”
They looked at me, stood, and cheered. Wow. Maybe I did have worth.
 
“Act Now. Yeah, that's right. That's the title of this workshop,” the sassy state director said to our chapter as we sat in the workshop for problem solving.
None of us were excited to be at the state round-up event in Bentonville, Arkansas. We all had to be there for many reasons: Malloy's mom had gotten our rooms comped, and there were no fees because we were suspended, and Grand Chapter had paid for it all because they wanted us to get trained. It was so hard being the only chapter kicked off campus—and we were the Alpha chapter, too. We were supposed to be the premier chapter. Though I was new to it all, I certainly knew everyone had high expectations of us. But we were a joke. Other collegiate chapters were talking about us, and we didn't like it.
The state director continued, “When you have problems in your chapter, everybody must take a good look at themselves. You may think your view is right. You might truly believe you got it going on. You might even think you have your chapter members' and chapter's best interests at heart, but when there is dissension, again, you have got to look within. That's my first point, ladies.”
I looked around the room and saw a lot of my chapter sorors rolling their eyes—particularly Bea and Trisha. I didn't hang with them much anymore, but when I was new to the chapter, I had done a lot to lead them astray. As the trainer was telling us, I had to look within, too. Yes, it was college, and, yes, we should enjoy ourselves, but I didn't have to be so disruptive. And if I wanted to stay and make the chapter whole, I needed to get it together and keep it that way.
“Ladies, when we look at ourselves and our own weaknesses,” the trainer continued, “when we don't take the criticisms of others negatively but rather look at how we can build from those criticisms and get better, we can get stronger. For example, if you're on a train track, and you see a big train coming toward you, do you stay there and get hit, or do you do something different to avoid the collision? Hopefully you get yourself off the train. Many of us think we can take on the thirty-cargo steel machine, and that's ludicrous. Beta Gamma Pi is bigger than any one person, but collectively it needs all of us to function; one person can make a hole in our great organization and begin our downfall. This particular workshop will help you work on fixing those holes, healing broken hearts, and finding resolutions so we can reach greatness.”
I looked over at Hayden. She was a great leader. Not only was she taking notes, but she was smiling. She just had an upbeat personality, and it was contagious. As if reading my mind, our trainer said the next point was to look for the good in others.
“We always look at others and sometimes get jealous. That green-eyed monster comes out because of what they have and what we don't. Why not get behind their successes? Appreciate what you like in someone else, and use that to find positive attributes you like about yourself as well. Don't look at what someone else has and feel so threatened by it that you just wait for them to fail. That's not healthy. That's not sisterly. That's not what we need to do to move forward. If you concentrate on the good of your sorors more than you concentrate on the bad, Beta Gamma Pi will be stronger.”
Malloy slipped me a note.
I love your presence
. I turned and smiled. Giving compliments was something I admired about her. She loved lifting people up. I probably needed to tell her that.
“Lastly now, ladies, to make sure we have the least amount of problems possible, seek to be peacemakers. Sometimes there will be beef between two ladies in your chapter, and you'll think, ‘You know what, let me just stay out of the way.' Sometimes you'll have beef with someone, and you'll be like, ‘Let me add fuel to the fire. Let me be the one who gets the last word.' No, no, no. If you look to find the good in your soror, look within yourself, and look to work it out—even if you had to pray your way through it—only then can we be the healthy organization we were meant to be. And, sorors, to get it right and truly right, you must do all this. You must act now. We can't afford any more problems. And as for the suspended chapter, everything I am saying is especially pertinent.”

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