18
PROMISE
“S
o you ladies think you got it together now, huh? Well, I hope you learned your lesson: the school's giving you guys a full pardon. You're ready to get your chapter active again, effective next year,” Malloy's mother said in our chapter room.
It was amazing that a full year had passed since I had been a part of Alpha chapter. And now that Hayden had graduated, we were without a leader. In front of our regional coordinator, our chapter adviser, and our National President sat ten ladies from Malloy's line, plus Trishaâwho wasn't graduatingâand myself. We all looked like lost puppy dogs.
“Okay, so I guess there's no way to prove to me you're ready to get your chapter back. I don't care what the university saysâI'm the one who needs to give the okay to the National President. Somebody better speak up and tell me why y'all deserve a chapter,” our adviser said.
As much as Torian loved to talk, she didn't say a word. Loni was opinionated and strong-willed, too, yet she was also quiet. Malloy was known for going toe to toe with her mother, but, shockingly, she didn't say anything either.
So I stood and gently said, “Madam President, I was not in this chapter when they went astrayâ”
“Yes, that's right. I remember I met you last year at the National Convention. You were transferring. So your year has been okay?”
“My year's been quite eventful, actually, and I don't think I would have made it through without the sorors in this chapter.”
“Well, I know Malloy loves having you as a roommate, but do you want to speak to why you ladies deserve a chapter?”
“I cannot say that I know exactly what the founders were thinking in 1919 on this very soil when they decided to start this organization, but I can say that the five core principles they believed inâleadership, sisterhood, education, Christian principles, and public serviceâare all evident in Alpha chapter today. I know a lot of people often think the only way to pledge someone is to haze them and make sure they're not paper, that you cannot be a part of the sisterhood unless you take some kind of beating. But since I've been in this chapter, I've lost everythingâI've been emotionally beaten, and only the sisterhood was there to help get me through it. Collegiate chapters across the U.S. are supposed to be the core, the foundation of our organization, and we deserve our chapter back because Alpha chapter is where it all started. And sometimes you have to lose something to be able to completely understand how much you need it, how much you value it, how much you treasure it, and I think not being active on the campus has allowed every member of our chapter, past and present, to understand that we need to be here. We need to be out in the community making a big difference; we need to be on the campus as leaders. We need to have our letter symbols displayed so folks know the Betas are about the business of making the world better. We won't let anyone down again.”
“Wow. If I were in this chapter, you'd sure get my vote for Chapter President,” Malloy's mom teased.
Shocked, I shook my head. “I think I want to nominate your daughter for that position.”
Torian stood beside me and said, “I concur wholeheartedly. Malloy is the glue that holds us together. She never wanted to participate in hazing, even last year.”
“Malloy? Wow,” her mother said.
“Mom, there's no way I can top Hayden.”
“You're the glue that holds us together,” I said to Malloy.
Torian leaned in and said, “Because of who your mom is, you know the rules. We need a leader with that knowledge.”
We went on debating the point for a few more moments, and her mother went out of the room with the regional coordinator and our adviser and then came back and granted us our chapter. We elected officers; the unanimous slate read as follows: MalloyâPresident, Alyxâ First Vice President, TorianâSecretary, and LoniâTreasurer.
“By the power invested in me as Beta Gamma Pi's National President, I am honored to install Alpha chapter back on campus and declare that the four officers are duly installed and can begin campus activities August first.”
I was First Vice President of Alpha chapterâsuch an honor and a privilege. I knew deep in my heart that if I found the funds to stay, I wouldn't let the chapter down. How was I gonna make that happen though?
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“So you know we gonna get to have a fall line,” Torian said to me as she, Loni, and I walked across campus. “And we gotta get ready.”
“Don't even look at me crazy, girl. We are not going down that road again. We are not getting no underground line.”
“I'm not saying we need to have an underground line or anything. I'm just saying we need to be strategic about who we want to pick,” Torian said. “We got all summer. We gonna think of something they can legally agree to. Seeâlook at that group over there looking eager,” Torian said, pointing at a group of freshmen. “That one, with her chest hanging out for all to see, rolls her eyes at me every time I see her. I am not picking her.”
“See? You're making it personal,” I said.
“Just because we can't haze them doesn't mean they can't respect us. Let's keep it real.”
“Remember, we're not even back on the yard officially yet,” Malloy said as she came up behind us.
“Your girl is trippin',” I told Malloy.
“Yeah, being off the yard for a year makes it sort of hard. And look at those freshmen over there.” Torian pointed at the same girl for Malloy to see. “That one girl in particular with her chest all showing. Her skirt can't get any higher, or we'll be seeing her underwear. She's stuck up so much I know she wants to be a Beta.”
The girl was actually cute, but Torian was rightâshe did look a little too hot, and not in a good way for the yard.
I said, “She's walking over here.”
“Oh, no, she better turn around. Don't she know we're Betas? She can't just speak to us without an invite,” Torian said.
“Girl, you are crazy! We ain't even back on the yard, and you are trippin',” I told her.
“Well, you talk to her. Come on, y'all,” Torian said as she grabbed Malloy and Loni and left me.
“Hey, I just wanted to come and introduce myself. I'm Cassidy! I wanted to meet you and your sorority sisters. Can you call them back over here? I don't know if y'all are back on the yard again. The word is the National President is here, and y'all are gonna have a line, like, now, so I just wanted to introduce myâ”
“Okay, slow down!” I said, cutting her off. “My sorority sisters had to take off. I'm Alyx Cruz. We're not sure about any lines or anything like that. We are officially off the yard still. However, we are hoping to be back. It's good to meet you.”
“Well, any advice you can give me? Anything you can tell me? I ain't gonna say nothing to nobody. I'm gonna keep it to myself. You can tell me a secret, girl. Hook a sister up! What's up? What's up?”
Okay, this chick was really ghetto fabulous, and that wasn't a bad thing, but it wasn't Beta Gamma Pi style. Apparently the way I looked at her made her think she'd done something wrong.
“What? I'm too much, huh? All my friends said you real cool for an outsider. You should understand a girl like me. I'm a little rough around the edges. You're a little different for Beta Gamma Pi, too. If you can be a Beta, there's hope for me. Why everybody gotta be so clean-cut? So stuck up?”
“Okay, I don't think you want to use that tone or say anything like that, because when you're trying to get into a sorority, you got to get voted in. And I'm not considered an outsider.”
“So I gotta change who I am to try to fit being a Beta?”
“You need to first understand that being a Beta isn't something you should need to change into. You shouldn't have to change you, and you should definitely not want to bring down the organization.”
“Oh, why you sayin' it like that? I thought you were cool and stuff.”
“I
am
cool. You came to me off the record, and you're asking me to give you some advice, and I'm just keeping it real. If you don't want to hear itâ”
“Naw, naw. I do. Most people talk behind my back and say this and that. Can't even say it to my face. So I respect what you got to say.”
Now that I had her undivided attention and she was ready to listen to me, I found it hard to say, “You dress like a slut.” How could I tell her she was too loud and obnoxious? “Most of my chapter is not interested in letting a girl like you into our sorority”? But seeing the sincerity in her eyes, I could tell there was really something in her that reminded me of myself. I hadn't been a shoo-in from my line back in Texas either. They'd had to look deeper. Our founders would want us to give every girl a real chance, and just like academics hadn't been all that for me when I'd gotten here, the sorors had sat me downâthey hadn't given up on me. True, they hadn't had a choiceâI was already a Betaâbut there was something to be said about showing compassion and not judging folks. If I was going to be the leader of the line, I was going to have to rise above and give girls chances when most people would think they didn't deserve one.
So I said to Cassidy, “Just look deep inside yourself. Keep supporting our events, do community service, try to be the best Cassidy you can be: and, um, look us up in the fall.”
“Thanks, girl!” she said and she gave me a big hug. “I ain't gonna tell nobody we talked. You are the bomb! Thank you!” Then she swished away.
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Everyone was moving out. Malloy was keeping her place; it was a town house her dad was buying. She was going back to New York to do another internship with that designer, and although I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to stay in school, I was praying I could find some kind of job over the summer that would give me moneyâor apply for a loan. I was planning to stay around, get my head together, and figure it out.
“You're gonna be okay,” Malloy said to me by the door on her way out. “I knowâLoni and Torian and I are not here this summer.”
“Oh, that's okâyou're going to New York. I don't know. I have no choice but to focus on what I need to take care of.”
Malloy said, “You can call me anytime. This is our place. I love you, girl.”
“I love you, too,” I said.
“Ahâit looks like you're not gonna be too alone.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look who is pulling up,” she said as I peered around her and saw Cody.
A big smile spread across my face. My girl said she'd give us privacy. I told her to be good in New York, and then my comfort blanket was gone. Then, when my guy came in, I knew I truly wouldn't be alone.
“I got some good news and bad news,” he said.
“I don't think anything could be any worse than me not knowing how I'm gonna pay for school next semester.”
“So, which do you want to hear? The good news or the bad news?”
“Good news.”
“Well, you know I've been meeting with those investors about financing my play in other cities. I'm sorry, baby, that I haven't been here to be with you. I've missed you. They're gonna finance my play. They want to take it to four states: Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and all over Arkansas.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, your man is going big-time. This is steps away from Broadway. The actors and actresses they want to use are so good. It's all coming together.”
“I am so excited for you!” I threw myself into his arms. “That is certainly good news. So I wanna know the bad news.” I pulled away.
“We're not going to be together.”
“Physically?”
“Right. We won't physically be together. I'll be on tour with my play, making some money. I'll be here this summer though. I'll finish up with my master's, and then I'll be able to leave.”
“Oh, I might be able to go with you. I'm not a Broadway actress or nothing, but maybe I can work on the play if I can't stay here.”
“Well, you didn't let me finish with the good news.”
“What are you talking about? Your play got picked upâlet's not act like that's not good news.”
“These financiers, they also have a foundation that helps support the arts. Long story short: they loved your performance, and you have a full, one-year scholarship to get a degree in the arts.”
Tears just welled up in my eyes. Finally I was doing the right thing, and God was blessing me. All I wanted to do was focus on my own dream, not hold back my friends, give other people opportunities, and appreciate my educationâand of course be in loveâand He was giving me all that. Alyx Cruz was gonna be okay after all. Just like my mom had said, I was gonna be able to make it. I, too, planned not to let God down.