A Warrior's Perception (4 page)

Never mind the fact that she had always thought that there was something missing in her life, never mind that she had been raised by men, and never mind that she had an empty hole in her heart where her mother should have been. She had found her knight, her hero, and she was determined to keep his kiss in her mind. Of course that was not hard to do with his face seared into her memory and the tingle in her loins that turned hot when she thought about him.

Grace stooped to scrub the girl's thick hair as she leaned back. Grace scowled at the girl’s beautiful back as she lathered her hair with the vanilla scented soap. The morning sun splashed through the window and created little rainbows bouncing off of the bubbles into the water around Andra's soft curves. Grace despised the innocent girl for her beauty and well-endowed breast.

“
Grace?
”
she turned to look at the maid.

“
Milady
?
”
Grace choked.

“
What is it like to lay with a man?
”
she asked.

Grace smiled and sat on the edge of the tub,
“
Men are men...they only want to lay 'tween yer legs and ram their shaft into yer womanhood. Tooping is forever on their minds. They take what they want and then lea'e ye in pain.
”
Grace's words were stated rather abruptly, hoping it would terrify the lovely girl.

Andra frowned,
“
Pain? But last night I kissed a man and his hands felt so good on my body, I thought I was in Valhalla.
”

“
Aye, a man can make ye fall at his feet and do things to yer body that will make ye cry out in pleasure, but in the end, his pleasure will hurt ye,
”
she whispered to the innocent lass.

“
And what was the burnin' feeling 'tween my legs that made me what to ... to. I wrapped my leg around his hip and I wanted him inside of me.
”
Andra whispered so no other ears could hear.

Andra gulped hard. Such sinful thoughts were taking over her mind.

Grace laughed softly and patted her hand,
“
That is a woman's downfall, she wants him, but once he enters ye the pain will begin. Last night I bedded a man, a warrior, he entered and at first it was good, it felt wonderful, but men are men, he pounded into me and the pain was most unbearable. His shaft was so big that it nearly ripped me in half. After he was done he sent me away. Oh, he promised he would take me again and again ‘til his shaft fit neatly 'tween my legs.
”

She paused as Andra's wide eyes believed her every word,
“
And then the laird came to me this morn and woke me to his need. He pushed hard inside of me, beggin' me to take e'ery inch of him; he e'en screamed my name as he slapped my bottom and shoved himself as far as he could into my loins. I cried out in pain, beggin' him to stop, but he swore he could'na, that he wanted to be inside of me. He said I was his and I would do as I was told or he would beat me ‘til I agreed with him.
”

Andra gasped as Grace reached into the water and touched her breasts,
“
These are much too big, and na man will want to waste his time tryin' to unlace yer gowns.
”
She pulled away and smiled,
“
Just try to keep 'em covered as best ye can.
”

Grace heaved up another bucket and poured it over the girls head as her wicked smile curled upon her lips,
“
All men want to bed a woman and inflict their pain on them, but ye should ‘na worry cause ye are much too fat and ugly. Men like their women tall and slender. Yer hips are too wide and ye took after yer poor ma in stature. Tis a blessin' ye will'na ha'e to endure a man's pain.
”

Andra's gut twisted,
“
But the man in the stable was so handsome and strong, and it felt so good when he kissed me,
”
she raised her hand to her lips,
“
he kissed me with his tongue.
”

“
Who was the man or do ye know?
”
Grace asked as she pulled Andra's hair up and into the cloth, wrapping it around her head.

“
Laird McKregan,
”
Andra stated in a whisper.

Grace's face paled,
“
Oh, milady, ye must be mistaken, he is the man I lay with last e'e and this morn.
”

Andra stiffened recalling the lion laced onto his chest and her heart shattered. He had almost had his way with her and then went to Grace. He must surely be a beast without a conscious or she was just a fool. She frowned and figured that it was probably the latter. She had always known that she was different and foolish. Her father had often scorned her for daydreaming about places that could not exist and about people who would love her unconditionally. 

“
Perhaps I was ...mistaken.
”

Andra stood as Grace wrapped her small body into a linen wrap. Andra grimaced as Grace dried her back. Grace rubbed harder across the bruises wanting Andra to cry out. Andra gritted her teeth and turned to face the woman who had bedded Laird McKregan.

“
I can manage the rest on my own,
”
she stated.

“
Those bruises, they be sore? Did the man do that to ye after ye fell for his touch?
”

Grace smiled as she turned to leave.
“
Tis a man’s way lass.
”

“
Aye, he did,
”
Andra admitted slowly.

Men are beasts! 

Andra softly banged her head against the door trying not to cry in self-pity. Why did she feel as if something was missing from her life? The strain in her heart and soul told her she was a part of something bigger but as hard as she looked she had never found it. And now when she thought she had found a knight and a man that created odd sensations in her chest and loins, she finds out that he is no different from any other.

A man will always be just a man and he thinks with the shaft between his legs!

She tried to recall Crimm's words from one of her lessons. And with some degree of sanity, she did after using the curse words that she had heard from the guards.

“
Beauty lies on the skin, brawn lies in the muscle, courage lies in the heart, but the most important thing to
one’s
self is what lies in the soul. That is what no one can take from ye or destroy if ye cultivate it and let it grow throughout your life. It is entirely up to ye to decide if ye want to be wicked and mean or strong and carin'. Ye actions define who ye are, so be ye woman or be ye mouse? Be ye a wretched creature or be ye strong and bold.
”

“
I will be strong and bold!
”
she whispered,
“
Matters na that I am na beauty, matters na that men are beasts, I am woman and I am strong!
”

Andra pulled herself up and quickly dressed herself. She held her head high as she left her room and made her way down the stairs to the balcony off from the ballroom. She smiled as the sun kissed her cheeks. Instantly she was at peace but her heart ached for something she didn’t know how to explain.

Aching and longing for some magical manifestation she let her mind drift back in time. Once when she was but a little girl she had believed in fairies, unicorns, and mythical legends. But that had been long ago when her mother had been alive.

A tear slid down her cheek as she tried to remember her mother’s face and couldn’t. The one memory she retained of her mother was only words. Words she cherished and wanted to believe with all of her heart and soul.

“
Fear not little one. You are a princess and one day you will rule the world where I come from. You will fly through the rainbows and your destiny will come roaring his love to you.
”

She had the strangest accent and the most delicate voice. With a deep sigh Andra forced herself to the here and now. The only female that she had for company was either one of Aran’s lovers or the spiteful Grace. Even Crimm had bedded the heathen woman. Andra’s shoulders shook with defiance.

How dare that woman treat me in such a manner!

Sitting on the ledge and clearing her mind of Grace's words, she took a long deep breath. Voices drew her mind to the gardens. She looked slightly to the left and saw her father's back and Crimm's side. In front of them, Laird McKregan and two of his warriors stood stone like. They talked in dull whispers that Andra could not decipher. She quickly turned on her heel as the laird looked up at her and smiled.

Heathen! Beautiful strong dark heathen!

“
Then it is done,
”
Duncan whispered with a smile on his lips.

Crimm slapped Kagan on the back and smiled,
“
Brothers in battle, brothers in friendship, and now brothers by marriage!
”

Kagan nodded his head,
“
For now it will ha'e to wait, I ha'e much to attend to. I lea'e ye and ye father to do as I ask. She is claimed and na other is to touch her. We will make it official when the time is right.
”

Kagan smelled honey and vanilla and looked up to the balcony.

Flawless!

Her shoulders were bare and her gown dipped down over her splendid breast. The rest of the gown catered to her curves in sheer delight. Smiling, he met her gaze. He laughed softly as her cheeks flamed and she turned to run. His smile broadened as he looked at the Duncans, she was his now and he prayed his children would have her sea green eyes and sun streaked mousy hair.

Andra's deep groan echoed down the hall as she stalked toward the second floor. She wondered why Dagma had made such a perfect man and why on earth had he sent him to Shinonoble. Why did she have to be homely and fat? Her eyes dropped to the voluptuous swell of her breast and sighed loudly. More than would fit in a man's hand.

She stopped at the window that overlooked the stables and Kagan walked into her sights. His kilt fit snugly over his hips and Andra silently hoped it would fall, exposing his bottom. She closed her eyes and his face imprinted itself into her memory. Her dreams would be filled with the dark proud warrior every night and his shining armor would disappear at dawn.

Shinonoble Keep 1572

“
Absolutely na!
”
roared Crimm Duncan at his eighteen year old sister.