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Authors: Mandi Rei Serra

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BOOK: A Toast to Starry Nights
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“No fucking way. Can I sing
It's a
Small World
? And obviously, she wants girly time with you, just like in the
old days. Ooh yeah. Fun! Maybe you guys can paint each others toe nails and do
your hair, then gossip about boys. But only the cute ones you both screwed.”

“Way fucking way,” I replied. “And no,
please don't sing. Today has been traumatic enough.” Lorryn didn't look much
different than she did ten years ago. Her cheeks had slight hallows that
highlighted a delicate chin. But her eyes were what got me. The light of a
zealot shined within her soul's window.

Then again,
perhaps
my bias is
imagining things.

“You're telling me that she hasn't seen
you in years and wants to sell your friends cooking supplies and/or cosmetics
as a bachelorette party?”

“Looks that way, doesn't it?” I gotta
tell Dmitri about this. I mean, what the hell... still completely blown away.
“Last time she and I spoke was right after he apologized to me... she said, and
I quote, '
You stole him from me then, you stole him from me now! I hate you!
Hope you fucking die, bitch....
' And she meant it. At least at the time.”

“And now she wants to cut you a deal
with cooking supplies and lipstick. Nice. She related to Norman Bates?”

Nita's head swung from Jet and myself as
we spoke in hushed awe. “Who was that and why are you two acting so weird?”

“Little One,” Jet began, “that was what
we like to call a Crazy Bitch.” She made her way to Nita, wrapped an arm around
the youngster and began educating my cousin to the ways of
Deliri Canis
Femina
.

Jet pointed a finger in my direction.
“Once upon a time, when your cousin was just your age, she met a guy. Through
that Crazy Bitch. Yon Crazy One never got over the fact Dmitri liked Kaylis
more than her crazy ass. And since that discovery, has tried more than once to
separate those two lovebirds. Jealous bitch, ya know.”

Nita's jaw dropped and she turned to
face me. “So, she knows both you and Dmitri?”

I nodded. “She used to date him.”

“And there's high-school drama in that
quarter?
Still
?” Her eyebrows aimed for the stratosphere.

Again I nodded. “She threw an epic tizzy
fit when he apologized to me for breaking up back in high school. I mean,
epic
.”
Although not as legendary as when she scammed a bunch of money from him in high
school on the pretense of getting an abortion. I'm still incredulous Dmitri
forgave her for that stunt.

Anita Ann began to laugh. “That's
hilarious. That is funny in a really messed up way. And Jet told her you were
getting married. Good thing she didn't ask who the groom was!” Nita tried
wiping the smile off her face. “And here I was thinking that life got boring
after academics. Thank you, Big Cuz for showing me differently.”

Jet caught my eye. “What you looking
at?” She was smirking for no good reason. I wanted to know why.

“You. And Wee'en is right. It is funny
in a fucked up way. Was sooo hoping she was going to ask if it was someone she
knew. You shouldn't have said her name. I would have stayed quiet.” She
mockingly shook her head at me. “Shame on you, Kaylis. You shouldn't make it so
easy.”

“You're evil. Like cloven-hoof and
pointy-horns evil.” Well, a fuzzier version of that, but I wouldn't tell her
such a thing.

“No, darling. I'm just mean.”

“Wow.” I was still in a state of utter
bewilderment. “Wow wow wow. You know who needs to hear about this?” I dug into
my pocket and pulled out my cell. Flipped it open and dialed Dmitri.

Jet and Nita huddled closer to me as
they heard the ringing via speakerphone. Didn't take long before Dmitri
answered. The sound of people talking in the background and a voice over an
intercom filtered through the earpiece.

“Heya babe. How's it going?”

“It goes …. interesting. Got news for
you.”

“Good news?” At his query, Jet and I
locked eyes. She smiled her shit-eating grin of glee.

“Mostly.” Diplomacy rocks.

“What's good?” He sounded curious.

“I picked a date and location.” Figured
I'd ease him in gently. “Now you can let your folks know.”

“Really?” Dmitri sounded very surprised.
“When and where?”

“The Aquarium at Crescenta Bay.
Halloween of next year. Contingency plan is Las Vegas. One of the nicer
hotel-casinos. Like the non-cheesy Italian Renaissance one.”

A pause long enough to get mildly
uncomfortable made its appearance. “Halloween?”

“Not costumed.” Although gilded Venetian
Carnival masks do have a certain allure... Hmmm, maybe for the reception, a
Masqued Ball. “Still the jewel tones and flowing silk idea from before... just
under the sea in a non-mermaid way on a night made for dressing up. You get to
be my candy.”

He laughed. “Just a thought... I know
it's going to sound weird, but if you wanted to incorporate mermaids, that'd be
okay, as long as it's not
The
Little Mermaid.”

I looked to my Maid of Honor and
Bridesmaid, puzzled. Half-naked lady fish never struck me as being something
he'd be into. “Really? You'd like mermaids worked into the theme?”

“My family's coat of arms is a gold
mermaid on a black background. Three silver ships at the top in a stripe of
blue. I'm not opposed to mermaids in general due to that influence.”

Good to know. Will have to brainstorm
some possibilities. “So... what do you think? Is it too much?”

“I want to see The Aquarium for myself
before I decide. But I like the idea of it.”

“What about your parents? Will they be
okay with either of those venues?” I waited on pins and needles for about ten
seconds before he answered.

“Yeah, I think they'd be into it. After
all, my family's livelihood comes from the sea. It's different for sure. I'm
sure they don't care where the wedding is held, as long as it ends up with me
married.”

Cool. When his parents give the okay,
I'll start making some calls. Adrenaline shot through me as the excitement of
wedding planning baby steps hit. Then I braced myself. “Are you ready for the not-as-good
news?”

“You mean there's more?”

Infamous words, my friend.

“You will never in a hundred years guess
who I just spoke to, not even five minutes ago.”

“Bryant? He was supposed to meet me at
Costco for party supplies. Do we need more toilet paper?”

“Nope. Still have almost half a
monster-sized pack already. Anyhow, guess again.”

“Can't be Wiley. Uh... I have no idea.”

“I'll give you a hint. You used to refer
to her as the Ice Bitch.” Nita softly gaped and laughed. Jet put a hand over
her mouth to stymie the sound.

Silence. “She's no longer on the East
coast?” Shit, I didn't even know that she left California until the nutjob
mentioned her divorce. How did he know she went Eastward?

“No. Divorced with a settlement. She
wanted to take me out to lunch.”

“Shut up. No way. Lunch?” He laughed.
Full out laughed. “She'd probably try to drown you in the ranch dressing vat at
the salad bar. Hope you declined.”

“Oh I did. But Dmitri, that's not the
best part.”

“Tell me the best part.”

“She said if I were to ever have any
issues with you, I should use my hand as a vice-grip on your junk and get my
way with the divorce. Make you cry like a little girl. There was also something
mentioned about nails, nuts and a stump, too. Evidently, that's the tactics she
uses for negotiations these days.”

“I'm speechless. You mentioned me by
name told her about us? She pissed at me still?”

“No, I didn't mention you by name...
figured that would be a little too much drama for today. You were referred to
only as 'my man'. She's changed. A lot.”

“Well, we've all changed a lot over the
years. It happens.” He let out a long whistle. “Wow, what a small world.”

“That's what Jet said.”

He changed the subject on me. “So
Halloween of next year, at an aquarium.”

I interrupted. “Specifically in front of
the Wide Expanses exhibit. Sharks, turtles, tuna and sunfish as a backdrop. Go
Google it, you'll love it.”

“Copy. Is there anything we need before
I hit the checkout?”

“You got plenty of briquettes for our
porky guest of honor?”

“Yeah. Thirty pounds should be
sufficient.”

I scoured my mind. “Extra napkins,
bottled water and soda?”

“No on napkins, but that's two isles
away.”

“You picked up fresh fruit? And at least
one big red apple?”

“Yep. Champagne too, for the toast.”

“Okay. What about sparkling cider for
the young ones? Otherwise I think we're good. I'll be home after we pack up at
two. It's too hot and I need air conditioning. When do you and Wiley go to play
Piggy Sniper?”

“After I drop this stuff off at home.
He's looking at me right now. I'm sure he's going to give me shit for the
mermaid thing.”

I heard Wiley's husky voice in the
background, “I am now. Got no choice.”

Jet mouthed, “I like him.”

I rolled my eyes. She likes men, period.
“Okay, hun. I'm gonna go. I'll see you tonight after you're done playing Mighty
Hunter.”

“Sounds good babe. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I hung up and said to no one in
particular, “Well, he took that better than I thought he would.”

“That's because the freak out will
happen when you don't expect it. Be prepared for weird behavior. Oooh the
thought of his ex and his fiancé getting together must send shivers down his
spine.” Jet looked mildly amused. “So glad I don't have that issue.”

I'm sure.

A deep breath later and I noticed that
most vendors were taking down their canopies. It was just too hot to be out.
“What do you guys think about dismantling things and going to The Sultanas for
lunch?”

Nita agreed and Jet replied, “Aww man, I
was hoping for Mexican. Like Casa y Cochina. I hear they have good margaritas.”

Pointy-horned and cloven-hoof evil.

Yep. That's Jet.

 

Chapter Thirteen-

 

A mighty shindig shook the backyard's
canopy rafters the afternoon of July Fourth. It seemed like a bee hive, abuzz
with activity. A group of men led by Dmitri stood by the barbeque being
utilized as a stove with cast iron pots and pans atop. Beans simmered, as did
applesauce. Various veggies got the grill treatment, as did chicken for those
less adventurous to try the boar. A few feet away, Wiley's Caja China roaster
oozed out the smell of cooking pork and the promise of crackling skin.

The roaster seemed nothing more than a
wooden box on wheels lined with aluminum sheeting. Inside, a grill held the
meat, and then to close and cook it all, the recessed lid which held charcoal briquettes
nestled into place. Wiley called it his “Cuban microwave”. Inside resting upon
a steel grate, our wild porky friend.

The back door into the garage stood open
as a constant stream of people meandered through the house and out back. Two
wee kegarators in the garage also helped to make the traffic flow through
there.

People frolicked in the pool while
others sat at tables shaded by trees, chatting and laughing to their hearts
content. Inside the air-conditioned house, a marathon of Firefly episodes
played on plasma for those in the mood to cruise the 'verse with their favorite
space cowboy-pirates.

My family gathered for this shindig...
Willow, of course and her little sister, my Aunt Daisy with her second husband
Pat and their progeny; Anita Ann, Lydia Louise and Kiyah Kathleen. My mother's
fraternal twin, Uncle Rowan and his wife, Aunt Sheena floated on tubes in the
pool. Little Row and his sister Rosie kicked a soccer ball-shaped ice cream
maker around the grass with Lyddy and Kiyah. They ranged in age from seven to
eleven. Grampa sat in his wheelchair with Wiley's dog at the side and scratched
the black lab behind its ear. The lab looked singularly devoted to Grampa.

“If that dog was a cat, she'd be
purring.” I couldn't resist smiling as Grampa and the dog grinned.

“Reminds me of old Buddy. Best dog I
ever had.” Buddy the Lab was Grampa's duck hunting dog from my youth. Smart,
sweet and loyal. Happy memories were associated with that black mutt of
awesomeness.

Jet too, wandered around in her star-spangled
bikini, looking somewhat like a tatted Wonder Woman missing her golden lasso.
This year, her cleavage devoid of a shot glass. She slung a sarong she painted
to look like the night sky over a forest around her hips, and helped to keep
everyone's drinks topped off. Also, as a seeming first for her, Jet wore no
shoes and no longer seemed an Amazon when standing next to me.

Dmitri invited Bryant, Wiley and a few
of his chosen work team who were like family to him, and their corresponding
significant others. Two of his old high school friends joined us as well. Not a
huge shebang all together, but lively and fun. Those who were closest to us
were there, and that was peachy keen if you ask me.

BOOK: A Toast to Starry Nights
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