A Shot at Freedom (22 page)

Chapter
Thirty Eight

David

David stood out on the veranda, leaning against the rail, his arms flexing as he saw the catamaran round the corner and slow down as it sputtered towards the jetty. His bag lay packed at his feet. Brooke walked towards him, swinging freshly dried clean clothes. A fake smile pulled at her mouth, but her gaze remained limp.

             
With his clothes pressed to her chest, she stood beside him, watching the catamaran reach the dock. People emerged from all over the island to join the line.  “You know, if you want to catch this one, we really should head down there now.”

             
David couldn’t resist pulling her into him. With her back to him, he buried his head in her hair and inhaled her buttery scent.  He didn’t want to see her face. It was too hard. He always had a sense of what she might be feeling and always longed to know exactly what she was thinking.

             
She tugged on his arm, pulling it down so her hand could link with his, and led him back inside, closing the door on the catamaran and his bag. The bed was still unmade when they climbed onto it.

***

Brooke

To make sure that he understood exactly what she wanted she straddled his lap
. Pulling off her own shirt, she released the strap of her bikini top and let it fall. She raised her eyes to his and lifted his shirt. He helped her. Their first kiss took them down onto the pillows. They lay as they always liked to, nose to nose, lips close to touching.

“
Tell me when you want to stop,’ he said.

She pressed her lips together, closed her eyes and nodded. “Please don’t speak.”  

He sighed and she breathed in deep. Her insides fluttered as he tugged at the zip of her cargo shorts. She wriggled out of them, while he struggled with his pants. His hand edged under the Lycra of her bikini bottoms. She rolled back and pulled him on top of her, not sure what to do next, but she was so aware that she couldn’t get close enough to him. With a will of their own, her legs wrapped themselves around him.

***

David

Images of the drunken sex he had with
Gloria littered the last moments he might ever have with Brooke. The only way to stop them was to connect with Brooke’s wide eyes, losing his mind in hers.

With every touch
, her expressions changed. He was afraid of hurting her. He was afraid she’d wish for the rest of her life that she had never let it happen. He was afraid one time together would never be enough for either of them. He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to leave her.

But as
his fingers slid over her, he sensed she was willing. It was a commitment they were both ready to make. He kept moving forward, not thinking past anything that each second presented.

***

Brooke

A
sharp knock on the door woke Brooke. David pulled her to him, pressing his fingers to her lips. Another knock at the door, and Brooke peeled herself off him, sliding out of the sheets and tiptoeing across the room to peer through the gap in the curtains.

She leapt back onto the bed
. “It’s my parents,” she sputtered.

David took one look at her and headed for the other window, reefing it open and
clambering through, dropping to the ground. Brooke stuck her head out the window, unable to find the funny side of David skulking under the trees shielding his nudity with cupped hands. As she rummaged through the bed for his boxers, she heard a low sexy whistle. “Whoa dude? Show us your stuff!”

Unable to find them,
Brooke got desperate and threw his jeans out instead, covering her own breasts and jamming her head out the window, trying to signal to Dana to shut up. But David was doing a better job of that, as he hopped around trying to get each leg into his jeans.

Brooke dressed in a discarded
pair of shorts and halter top, forgetting underwear. She flipped her hair over and back before stepping up to the door, feeling sick as she turned the handle.

“Hi Mum. Hi Dad,” she s
aid brusquely. “Hi.”

They followed her as she stepped back into the room. She saw it with their eyes. The art
and pencil shavings, piles of dirty clothes, dishes caked in dried food, the faint smell of vomit drifting in from the bathroom. A fly buzzed between them. None of it seemed important to her until they walked in to see it. All together they stood staring down at her unmade bed. There was her bikini, tangled through the sheets. David’s boxers were on the floor at the foot of the bed.

“You sleep with your bikini in your sheets?” her mother asked.

Brooke
noticed the unshed tears building in her mother’s eyes. “David already made his bed,” she explained. “He makes it when he gets up.”

Her father
gave a curt nod.

Brooke
feared her legs would give way. “Look, I’ve got a lot on my plate today. I can’t deal with this.”

“We were going sightseeing and w
ondered if you wanted you to come.”

“I
think I have to work.” But then she shook her head at that lie. “I can’t handle it today.”

“David can come
,” her father offered. But she saw her mother’s jaw tighten.

Brooke shook her head. “I’ll be free tomorrow.”

Chapter
Thirty Nine

David

It was hard to know whether they had done the right thing. But as they sat side by side on the jetty, she gave him a shy smile that eased his thoughts. He knew she was okay. Her ankle linked around his, gently swinging. And from time to time she rubbed his lower back.

“I hope I’m pregnant,” she said.

“I hope for your sake you’re not.”

The wind blew strands of hair across her face. She flicked it away.

“It would be a way of keeping you.”

“You have me,” he said.

The catamaran appeared in the inlet and hummed towards them. People began to converge on the jetty from the pub, the general store and the resort. David’s mouth went dry. He took a deep breath in and held it.

“You can turn back. It’s not too late
,” she said.

He shook his head, wishing it were true. “Don’t let me think about what I’m doing.”

She nodded, stood up and held her hand out to him. “One step at a time then.”

The mobile rang in his pocket. His heart seized. He took it out and handed it to Brooke. “It’s your phone
, now.”

Brooke looked down at the number and handed it back to him. “It’s her. Tell her what you’re doing.”

David looked down at the number on the screen and turned the phone off, handing it back to Brooke. “She doesn’t need to know what happens to me.”

One of the masses, David and Brooke shuffled on board. All the way to the mainland, they sprawled out on one of the wooden benches on the deck and dared to bare their skin to the stinging sun. Strong winds kept most passengers inside.

David couldn’t stop touching Brooke. He loved the way that together they missed nothing, from the goats ambling their way on rocky outcrops to birds high in the sky, to wind swept trees in monster-like shapes and houses on cliff tops with extravagant views. Together, they made the last moments count.

***

Brooke

The bus took them into the heart of town. Brooke couldn’t let David’s hand go. Sweat laced their palms. On the hilltop, just up from the main street, the blue light outside the police station flashed like a beacon. It was the first time Brooke had taken any notice of it.

The only way Brooke could imagine preparing herself was to visualise him walking away from her. It was kind of like the times they had sat on the ridge at home. Th
ere were many horrible memories of David walking away from her knowing his father was ramped up to give a beating. Still Brooke would love today to be a moment like that. At least back then she knew he would always come back.

On the way past the ice cream shop, she dragged him in
and ordered two chocolate milkshakes, fumbling with her money, refusing to let his hand go. It was all she could think she could do to make their last minutes together a little sweeter.

They sat together on the sea wall, sipping on their shakes. The wind blew through her hair, lashing her face like tiny whips.
David’s curls jigged like springs. The sea spread out before them, the deepest blue green.
Water could be healing,
she thought,
Calming.
With each gulp of the milkshake, the lump in her throat eased closer to the twist in her stomach.

“Do we really have to do this?”
she whispered.

“Yes. It’s the right thing. The only thing.”

“If it’s so right how can it feel this bad?”

“Because neither choice
can make us feel good.”

The lump had pushed its way back up to press painfully at her throat.
“This just can’t be happening.”

“It is.”

David squeezed her hand. Without saying a word he stood up and pulled her up beside him. Her legs didn’t feel like they were a part of her body. Blood washed through her in sickening waves. Together, they climbed the footpath up the hill.

Outside the police station,
Brooke felt herself scream. It began in a place that she didn’t even know existed and reverberated with a strength she feared would destroy her.  David didn’t flinch, even though he was hugging her close. Nobody heard the scream but her. A gush of air exploded from her mouth. The scream had dissipated, lost deep inside her body. Her chest heaved. She swallowed more air. But her lungs couldn’t seem to take it in.

“Don’t be sad, Brooke
,” David said.

“
I am sad.” She forced herself to step back from him but held onto his hands. “Let’s just do it. I want this to be over.”

“Everything’s going to be fine. They might even let me off. I could be back at home before you know it.”

“There’s no more home, David.”

“Mum and I will make one together
, somewhere, when all this is over. You can come and visit if you still want to.”

The lump in Brooke’s throat choked her, bringing a slight shudder to her voice. “We didn’t come close to the freedom we planned it to be, did we?”

He cocked his head to the side, and said. “There
were
a couple of times we let go. Had some of that fun we always wanted.”

It felt brave to smile just because he was
. “Let’s remember those times then.”

Their last kiss tasted like the chocolate milkshakes
they’d been sipping. He handed her his empty cup and walked away from her. She hugged herself. The wind whipped through her. She felt as light as chiffon, not bound to the earth.

***

David

David fixed his sights on the flashing blue light as he crossed the road.
He skipped up the first three stairs, before stumbling. There he sat, right where he fell, with his head in his hands.

***

Brooke

It was like she was in a movie
as if none of it was real. It wasn’t like David to cave in like that. But he wasn’t hers anymore. She couldn’t run to him, pick him up, dust him off and lift his chin high. He would have to do it himself.

“Please let this be over,”
she murmured.

With the flash of sunlight on the glass door, a police woman appeared, walked down the few stairs and sat beside him. With
her eyes pinned on them Brooke slid back to the picnic table under the trees. She drew her knees in tight as though she had to physically hold herself together. Her bones felt shattered.

***

David

The police woman helped
David to stand. He sensed through her touch that she cared. He followed her up the stairs. The limp canvas bag had been taken from him. Before walking into the blackness behind the door, he turned so his eyes met Brooke’s.

She
waved goodbye, as the doors sucked closed between them.

Chapter Forty

David

The policewoman came to get him when they had the phone call lined up. She let him sit at the table in the tiny room alone but he knew she wasn’t able to leave him entirely. The blinds weren’t drawn. She stayed in sight, sipping coffee.

“Mum?”

“Tell me why you came forward, David.”

“I had to. I realised that I could never be really free of all of it if I didn’t own up.”

“It was only a snake gun. Who would have thought a snake gun could cause such an injury?”

“Did you see it happen?”

“I don’t know…I don’t remember…He’d hit me pretty hard.”

“My finger was on the trigger.
He came at me. It was close range.”

“They will never believe it was self
-defence, now. You’re going to serve time.”

“I killed him. Not you.
I deserve it.”

“But you don’t
understand. They’re going to let me go. I don’t know what to do out there on my own.”

“I don’t deserve to be free.”

“I don’t want to be free.”

“It’s
too late Mum. It’s better this way.” But when she didn’t respond, all he could say was, “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know what to do out there, David.”

“The Jensens will look after you.”

“We need to leave them get on with their lives now.
I think we’ve all had enough.”

The phone felt cold against David’s ear. “Yep. That’s probably true Mum. This might be how it all has to end.”

***

Brooke

It was strange sitting in among the resort guests. The chair was hard, too big, and too high, like overnight she’d shrunk to the size of the little girl she felt inside. If it wasn’t for the fact the arms didn’t fit under the table, she would almost believe it to be true.

H
er parents were exchanging polite smiles in between bites, remembering to include her on occasion.

Dana buzzed around them, kicking Brooke’s chair leg every time she passed them, teasing, giving Brooke the heads up she was as jealous as hell. There was a time that sitting back and being served was all Brooke ever knew. But now she’d been on the other side and she had seen the world differently. It wasn’t
easy stepping back into old shoes. The seat felt uncomfortable for good reason.

“How are those pastries?” her father said, nudging her
arm with his elbow.

Brooke tensed at his touch and her pastry crumbled into flakes over her plate.

“We have to go to Europe again,” her mother said. “You were so young last time we went Brooke. Do you remember it at all?”

“How the hell does that relate Mum? Dad was talking about pastries.”

Her mother held her smile but Brooke could tell she was faking by the way it stopped at her cheek bones. “It was the pastries Brooke. We had lots of pastries for breakfast.”

“I was obviously too young to remember then
, wasn’t I,” Brooke said stuffing the last piece in her mouth and dabbing at the crumbs on her plate.

“You were five,” her father said, offering the basket first to her mother and then again to Brooke.

Brooke took a chocolate chip muffin and broke it in two. “I don’t remember the pastries.”

“Brooke,” her mother said, gently covering her hand and leaning in close
. Brooke focussed in on the way her lipstick tried to cover her chapped lips, all to avoid looking into her eyes. “We want to start fresh.”

Brooke rammed her chair back and stood up
. “Starting fresh doesn’t have to mean we just stop being mean to each other and start being extra sweet. That doesn’t fix anything. We all just have to be normal and start saying what we really think. That’s what got us in this mess in the first place, everyone sneaking around and hiding what they should be saying.”

As she wove out through the tables, she passed Dana
. Dana smiled at her and touched her shoulder. “How the other half get to live huh?”

“
It’d be great if we could choose which half.”

Dana winked at her,
and started stacking dirty dishes on a table. “Nah, you’d keep coming back. You can never leave your own kind. Families have a way of dragging you right back.”

Brooke
shook her head and headed out into the open pool area, negotiating kids’ club on the main bridge that led down to the beach. She plonked down on the warm sand. Palm trees swayed around her. Waves nibbled at the shore in rhythm.  Seagulls soared in the blue skies above. People on catamarans, paddling canoes and playing volleyball lost in their fun, were unaware of all that had been lost from her life. 

It wouldn’t have mattered if she
stayed on the island or not. Someone would be there to wash their dishes. Dropping her forehead to her knees, she started laughing, unable to believe that she’d just told her parents exactly what she was thinking. If there was any chance of going home and living with them again, that would have to be the way from now on. Whether it hurt like mad or raised everyone’s hopes and dashed them, they needed the good and the bad. Speaking the absolute truth was her biggest chance at freedom.

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The Fragments Scatter

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