A Passion Most Pure (57 page)

"Goodness knows I've tried, Mrs. Gerson," Faith answered, a bit puzzled at the question.

"Then you have nothing to worry about, my dear. Your heart's desire is his promise."

"Thank you," Faith said quietly. "See you Saturday night?"

"I'm looking forward to it, my dear, as always. Good night."

Her mother followed her into the hall and watched as she climbed the stairs. "Faith?"

Faith turned.

"Mrs. Gerson's right, you know. You have nothing to worry about."

She managed a smile. "I pray you're right, Mother."

Once in her room, she didn't even turn on the light, but undressed in the dark and slipped her nightgown over her head. She brushed her teeth in the bathroom, then crawled into bed, her thoughts drifting, as always these days, to thoughts of Collin. She closed her eyes and saw his face, handsome and lean, those probing gray eyes and that ready smile, and a familiar warmth seeped into her bones. She sighed. Just once, she'd like to experience the flood of that warmth with God's full approval. It would be wonderful, she knew. Collin was, bar none, the most exciting man she had ever met, and it felt good-and so natural-to be thinking of him this way.

Faith opened her eyes and stared at the shaft of moonlight that split the room. He was out there, somewhere in New York, completely unaware she loved him and wanted him. Totally oblivious to the fact that, after all the times he had sought her love, she was finally ready to give it. He was, after all, her heart's desire. Had been from the start. Faith couldn't help but wonder if she was the desire of his too. Oh, Lord, let it be!

Closing her eyes, she felt the last of her energy drain from her body into the bed. With the prayer still warm on her lips and thoughts of Collin still warm in her mind, sleep lighted like the softest of butterflies, bringing with it new hope for tomorrow.

It was pure, breathless magic. Gliding on Katie's swings, Faith grinned at her sister Hope. The two sailed side by side into the heavens. They pumped in perfect harmony, breeze lashing their hair and toes skimming the sky. Higher and higher they flew, their bodies taut with exhilaration. Their laughter floated upon the wind as they thrust themselves into the blue, eyes open wide. Faith's heart, like her body, was soaring with joy. Never had she felt so free, so peaceful.. .

"Higher, Hope, higher!"shesaid, and Hope smiled back, aiming for the sky with all her might. God's love embraced them both, and a sensation of pure joy washed over her, sending goose bumps throughout her body. "1 love you, God, " Faith whispered, and the delight of her soul was only him ...

Faith opened her eyes and blinked. Moonlight flooded the room like the light of day. She sat up and peered at the clock-3:20 a.m. Lying back down, she thought of the dream that had awakened her, and a smile rested on her lips. Nothing, she decided, felt as wonderful as the love of God in your life. She breathed in deeply and then out again, her heart filled with a quiet joy. She could almost feel God's love-and Hope's-enveloping her there in the moonlit room, and tears sprang to her eyes. It was a graced moment, she was sure, one of those rare times when she felt the love of God to the core of her being. There in the dark, she spoke her gratitude to him, and her heart and emotions soared.

"No matter what happens, God," she whispered, "I know you love me and are with me always. I will worship you all the days of my life." Stretching, she sighed and closed her eyes, drowsiness settling once again.

And then she heard it. She sat upright and strained to listen, her heart hammering in her chest. It came againthe faint clink of something against the glass. Bolting from the bed, she ran to the window, her eyes searching the yard for what she hoped to see. But Marcy's garden was still, like the night, and Faith felt the peace of the prior moment shatter within. With a sick feeling in her stomach, she returned to bed, heaviness lodged in her heart. You're a fool, Faith O'Connor, something said in her mind. She shivered, struggling to regain the peace that had been hers only moments before.

Then she heard it again. This time she saw him, standing in the moonlight with that maddening smile, gazing up into her window. Her hand pressed hard against the frigid pane while her heart raced wildly. "Collin!" she whispered, feeling as if she might faint. Barely stopping to don slippers and housecoat, she tore down the stairs into the kitchen, ignoring Blarney as he trotted close on her heels. "Stay, Blarney," she whispered. Her breathing was heavy as she wrestled with the door. Flinging it wide, she stepped into the night, not even feeling the icy air that rushed against her. She clutched her housecoat and ran to the edge of the porch, a child on a treasure hunt, her eyes scanning the yard. "Collin!" she whispered.

Suddenly his strong arms encircled her waist. Turning, she stared up at him, her eyes glowing. She saw the curve of his smile in the moonlight, and warmth fanned through her like a warm breeze.

"My mother told me you called. Took me forever to get here," he said, picking her up in his arms and twirling her high in the air. His husky laugh vibrated in her ears. "I never thought I'd hear anything so wonderful as when she told me your father was alive. Sweet heaven above, I just want to run up there right now and wake him up." He put her down again. "Sorry, you must be cold." He started to take off his coat.

"No, Collin, let's just sit on the porch and share it."

He pulled her close, tucking her inside his jacket. Plopping into the swing, he bundled her in his strong arms. "You know, it would probably make a whole lot more sense if we went inside," he said with a chuckle. His breath escaped into the cold air like drifting puffs of smoke.

She shook her head. "Maybe in a minute or two. It's such a beautiful night, I'd just like to shiver out here for a while. Besides, knowing our past history, I have every confidence you can keep me warm." Faith chewed on her lip, suddenly shy.

He gave her a funny look. "I don't mind," he said nonchalantly, "but I sure don't think Mitch would like it."

Faith stared up at the moon. "Mitch doesn't have a whole lot to say about it."

His body tensed. He leaned forward. "He doesn't?"

Faith shook her head and held out her left hand.

Collin stared hard at her ring finger. He gripped her by the shoulders. "What happened?"

She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, never even feeling the cold. "He said he wouldn't share me with another man."

Collin blinked. All at once, the dangerous smile traveled his lips, and her body flooded with a familiar surge of heat. His gray eyes narrowed. "What other man?"

"I think you know," she said. "I think you've always known."

She heard him laugh, husky and low, before he pulled her close. His face was just inches from her own, and his gray eyes were smoldering. "What are you saying?" he breathed.

Her pulse took off at the fire in his eyes. A lump bobbed in her throat. "I'm saying I love you and I want you."

She heard his breath catch, and then his mouth pressed hard against hers. She moaned and melted into his embrace, kissing him with all the passion she had saved just for him. "I love you, Collin McGuire-I've always loved you."

His breath was warm on her neck as he clutched her with a low groan. "Oh, Faith, I've waited so long!" He held her face in his hands, and then his mouth wandered wildly from her lips to her throat. Her hair spilled over his arms as he wrenched her against him. "Thank you, God," he whispered before kissing her again.

Breathless, she kissed him back. "Oh, Collin, I've wanted you for my own since the day Margaret Mary pushed me against that school-yard fence."

He suddenly pulled back to study her in the moonlight, his labored breathing billowing soft in the night. "More than you wanted Mitch?"

She nodded, answering him with a lunge, her mouth seeking his once again. She heard his low chuckle as he gripped her tighter, then his heavy sigh when he pushed her away. "Good. I want him out of your mind completely, understood? From the very beginning, Faith O'Connor, you were meant for me."

Faith nodded and threw her arms around his neck to kiss him once again. Exhaling slowly, he gently pried her arms away. "I don't know how in the world I'm going to keep my hands off you till the wedding, but I'm determined to do it."

She felt warm and heady, as if she'd had too many sips of wine. A low, throaty laugh rolled from her lips. "And what if I'm not?"

His smile was wicked. He traced his finger from her lips down to rest in the little hollow at the base of her neck, just above the nightgown that peeked through her robe. A sobering tremor of heat shot through her, causing her to gasp. She hurled his hand away.

He laughed. "Something tells me you will. But if not, you'll be to blame because I intend to do this the right way. His way, not ours, remember? We've got the rest of our lives to make love." He grinned in the dark. "And believe me, we will."

Heat shot to her cheeks, and he laughed again, tugging her back in the swing to sit beside him. He kissed her gently this time, then slowly released her, holding her hand while leaning back in the swing. Wetness shimmered in his eyes. "He did it," he whispered. "I never dreamed it was possible, that it could ever really happen. First, he gives me his love and forgiveness ... and then he gives me you." His voice choked with emotion. "I never knew the love I needed was in him, Faith. Not until you. And now ... now he's blessed me with the desire of my heart, and I will never be the same." He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.

"Me too," she whispered, tears streaming her cheeks. For several moments, they sat on the swing in sweet silence, resting in each other's arms. Faith tucked her head against his shoulder while a profound gratitude filled her soul. All at once, she sat up, her eyes rounded as she swiped at the tears on her face. "What about Charity?"

She saw the rise and fall of his chest, his warm sigh swirling into the frosty air. "We've corresponded, and it seems we both want different things."

"I don't understand that, Collin."

"Yeah, well, apparently somebody else caught her eye. . .-

Faith blinked. "Goodness, that was fast."

"Not really. It seems she's been smitten for a while, whoever he is."

Faith scrunched her nose. Bridget hadn't mentioned Charity having a new beau. And Charity never seemed even remotely interested in anyone else ... Faith suddenly sucked in a breath.

Collin slanted a brow. "What?"

"Mitch!" she whispered, pressing her lips tight.

The smile faded from Collie's lips. "Do you care?"

Faith blushed. "Well, no, of course not. But honestly, Collin, I was engaged to the man-naturally it shocks me."

His arms clenched at the small of her back. "Well, no offense intended," he whispered with an edge of jealousy in his tone, "but Mitch can go to the devil."

She stroked his cheek. "Mitch is a good man, Collin," she said quietly. "If you knew him, you'd like him. And I care about him, I do. But he's not the man I've carried in my heart all these years, and he's not the man I'm going to marry."

Collin swallowed hard, then kissed her in a rush, his fingers twined in her hair.

She returned his kiss with a gentle one of her own, then sighed and rested her face against his soft flannel shirt. "You don't have feelings for Charity?" she asked, her tone hesitant.

"Not when I'm crazy in love with somebody else."

Her lips softened into a little-girl grin. "Who?" she breathed, wanting to hear him say it.

He lifted her chin. "I think you know. I think you've always known."

Without notice, he suddenly stood and plucked her from the swing, backing her against the wall with a gleam in his eye. "Faith O'Connor," he said with authority, "I'm going to court you-court you like you've never been courted before. And I'm going to make you fall madly in love with me."

"Too late," she quipped. "I already am."

The grin stretched across his lips as he grabbed her hand to pull her toward the door. "Oh no, Little Bit," he said in a hush. "We're not even close."

Acknowledgments

To my friend Joy, whose inexhaustible patience took me from the dark to God's glorious light.

To my agent, Natasha Kern, and my editor, Lonnie Hull Dupont, for taking a chance on me, and to Cheryl Van Andel for a killer cover and Cat Hoort for her patience and sparkle.

To the Seekers, whose humor, talent, and prayers have become my writer's lifeline.

To my co-workers Carol Ann, Tammy, Cynthia, Sandy, Anna, Joanne, Betty, Jenny, and Alicia, for your boundless enthusiasm and support.

To my crit partners, ACFW Crit 19, and Kelly Mortimer, for their keen eyes and kind hearts.

To my prayer partners, Karen, Pat, and Diane, for their powerful prayers and precious friendship.

To my Aunt Julie and my mother-in-law, Leona, for exemplifying what a true mother should be, and to my father-in-law, the late Ray Lessman, for his loving support and encouragement.

To my sisters, Dee Dee, Mary, Pat, Rosie, Susie, and especially Ellie and Katie, for teaching me just how wonderful it is to have sisters.

To Amy, Matt, and Katie, for giving a mother more joy than she ever dreamed possible.

To my husband and best friend, Keith, who teaches me every day what true romance is all about.

And finally, to Windowsill Jesus, who never let go, even when he had every reason to do so.