A March Bride (8 page)

Nathaniel squinted at his brother.
“
Fine speech, but does she need us? I can
’
t imagine why she
’
d want to marry me with all the trappings I come with. It can be a privileged life, but also brutal and hurtful. Someone actually e-mailed her a link to a blog dedicated to hating and criticizing her. The blog title is not worth repeating in polite company. And what do you think I
’
ve been doing since she moved to Brighton but reminding her of the very things you mentioned?
”

Despite his words of protest, Nathaniel had spent the weekend talking himself out of exactly the kind of plan his brother was suggesting. Part of him ached to put his schedule in the rubbish bin and go after her, while the other part convinced himself to leave her be and give her the courtesy of space. She
’
d come round when she was ready. Right?

“
Go get her. Tell her in no uncertain terms. If you ask me, you
’
re not giving her enough credit.
”

“
Really? Then why did she leave?
”

He shrugged.
“
Perhaps she was a bit overwhelmed. What bride isn
’
t? Let alone one becoming a part of our family.
But you leaving her be is just confirming all of her fears. I say again, go after her.
”

“
I
’
m not sure one human heart can love another as much as we are asking of her.
”

“
Blimey, Nathaniel, you
’
re a blasted cynic. Mum wasn
’
t born and raised a royal, but she adjusted to royal life quite well.
”

“
She was the daughter of a lord who groomed her to marry a king. And you know full well she struggled with the press in the beginning. But in her day there was no paparazzi. No blogs. No Twitter. No twenty-four-hour news cycle. There was a barrier between the press and the royal family.
”

“
Nice to see you have your list of excuses memorized. So tell me, are you planning on being a bachelor the rest of your life? Or perhaps taking up Lady Genevieve
’
s offer to marry, produce an heir, then get a divorce?
”

“
Don
’
t be crass.
”

“
Nathaniel.
”
Stephen stood, towering over his brother.
“
Do you love her?
”

“
It hurts to breathe when I think of life without her.
”
Nathaniel rose to his feet, gently pushing his brother back a step.
“
But I have to be realistic. Maybe I should let her go.
”

“
You are a coward.
”
Stephen headed for the door.
“
If you lose her, it won
’
t be because of this citizenship writ or all of the things she has to give up to be your wife. It won
’
t be because you
’
re some magnanimous chap who freed the bird who wanted to fly. It will be because you
’
re afraid.
”
He eased open the door.
“
And that will mark your reign for the rest of your life.
”

T
wo days.
”
Mama passed Susanna in the kitchen, her hair wet from her shower, curling in ringlets about her head. She flashed two fingers.
“
Then I
’
m kicking you out.
”

“
Kicking me out? Fine, I
’
ll live with Aurora in her tent.
”

Aurora, a former hotshot DC lobbyist, was a multimillionaire who lived on dimes and nickels in a tent in the woods. A kind of spiritual savant, she doled out her millions as she saw the need, along with divine messages from God.

Real ones. Bone-chilling ones.

She
’
d been a voice from heaven in Susanna
’
s life when she first met Nathaniel, then only Crown Prince, visiting the island.

“
For the life of me, girl . . .
”
Mama opened the cupboard for a coffee mug, then poured from the big pot Daddy had set to brewing before he headed off to get fresh fish for the day. No fancy machines for them. They still used the old-fashioned percolating kind.

“
Besides, I came home to see Granny and Gracie.
”

“
Well, you
’
ve seen them. They
’
re fine. Why don
’
t you just go back to Brighton and marry that boy?
”

“
Really, Mama? You think it
’
s just that simple. That I
’
ve not thought this through a hundred bazillion ways?
”
The smooth, uneventful flight over on
Royal One
had given her entirely too much time to think.

Why did the citizenship request bother her so dang much? And more than that, why did she slip off her engagement ring and leave it behind?

Had her head already decided and her heart was catching up?

Susanna shoved her cereal bowl forward. There was still over half a bowl left, but she
’
d not really been hungry since she
’
d left Brighton. Her attempt at having breakfast was merely a reach for some kind of normalcy.

“
I just can
’
t help but wonder if maybe I didn
’
t rush into this because I was stinging from losing Adam. Maybe I got swept up in the magic of it all.
”

“
Poppycock. You didn
’
t even know Nate was a prince for two weeks. Y
’
all were friends. Then he left. Shot out of here when his father died and you didn
’
t see him for five months.
”

“
What
’
d you do, keep a diary on my love life?
”

Mama tapped her temple.
“
I got more in here than cobwebs and spiders. And never in my life have I seen you
‘
swept up in the magic
’
of anything. Not even Disney World.
”
She laughed.
“
You met Cinderella and like to drove me crazy asking,
‘
But what
’
s the girl
’
s
real
name, Mama?
’
”

“
Well, she didn
’
t look like Cinderella to me.
”

“
That
’
s what I
’
m saying, Suz; you
’
re a realist.
”

“
Which is why I
’
m here now. I
’
m being a realist. Come on, Mama, in all your life, did you ever see me as a royal princess?
”

“
No, but when I saw you with Nate, I pretty much knew he was the one. You love him and it
’
s written all over your face every time you hear his name. And the same goes for him. You should see him when you walk into a room. The rest of us are no more than buzzing flies on the wall. He adores you.
”

“
Love. Adoration. Fine. But they don
’
t make an enduring marriage.
”

“
Know what your problem is, Susanna?
”
Mama rapped her knuckles on the island counter.
“
You
’
re scared.
”

“
Two minutes ago I was a realist.
”
She snapped a couple of grapes from the fruit bowl in the center of the island.

“
A scared realist.
”
Mama snatched hold of Susanna
’
s left hand.
“
What
’
s this? Susanna Jean, where is your engagement ring?
”

Shoot, she
’
d forgotten about her bare left finger. And wasn
’
t Mama quick on the draw? Susanna had been hiding her left hand since she arrived home, but all this talk of being scared caused her to lower her guard.
“
I left it in Brighton.
”
She curled her hands into her lap.

“
Oh, have mercy—
”

“
Mama, Nathaniel and I both needed to think about what we
’
re doing. Yes, it
’
s down to the wire, but there
’
s also a lot on the line. I left the ring in my suite at Parrsons House in case, for whatever reason, you know, I didn
’
t go back. Hey, Nathaniel has just as much to think about as me. He could call any second to break off the whole thing. So don
’
t put this
all on me. Besides, I didn
’
t want to be responsible for a two-hundred-year-old royal family heirloom.
”

In truth, her ring finger felt cold and empty, and she missed the beautiful antique designed for Queen Anne-Marie. She regretted her impulsive, childish decision.

She hoped the ring remained safe in her bedroom where she had left it. And that Nathaniel didn
’
t find out.

“
I
’
d like to wring that boy Adam Peters
’
s neck for doing this to you. Making you scared to hang on to anything worth-while because it might be ripped from your hands.
”
Mama
’
s hand smacked the counter.
“
Listen to me. You let fear keep you
with
Adam about ten years too long. Now fear is driving you
from
Nathaniel.
”
Mama reached for her coffee cup, her eyes glued on Susanna.

That
’
s the way she did it—she eyed a person until they confessed their deepest, darkest sin.

“
Actually, Mama, fear is also making me wise up. This citizenship issue put everything in a fresh light.
”
Susanna leaned against the counter, watching the sunlight wash the kitchen window.
“
Let
’
s say I do this
one
last thing, in a series of
one
last things I
’
ve had to do to marry Nathaniel. There will be no going back. I
’
ll forever be a citizen of Brighton Kingdom and never, ever again a native-born American citizen. Should we break up, for whatever reason, I
’
d have to immigrate back to my own country.
”

For a brief moment, she felt justified in her dramatic exit from Brighton. After all, Nathaniel and the Parliament had asked a dramatic thing of her.

But what hit her afresh in the cozy old kitchen where she taught her baby sister to bake chocolate chip cookies
was how bold and rash her move was when she slipped off Nathaniel
’
s ring. Just how true was her commitment? How deep was her love?

“
This ain
’
t the kind of fear that makes one wise up. This is the kind that makes a girl run. You always ran to your
garden
as a kid to hide when you were afraid—which is exactly what you
’
re doing now.
”

“
Thank you for that, Professor Glo. I don
’
t need your pop psychology. Besides, I ran to hide from you and Daddy when you got to fighting like wild animals, throwing dishes and four-letter words at each other.
”

Many of Susanna
’
s girlhood evenings were spent hiding in her secret garden, her closet, hiding from the storms raging
inside
her house.

“
I make no excuse.
”
Mama sipped her coffee.
“
We were young and foolish when we got married. Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to us.
”
Mama smiled.
“
‘
Cause then we met Jesus, got healed, and remembered why we loved each other in the first place. But, Suz, you
’
re grown now. You understand these things. Your teen years were pretty darn good as I recall. Daddy and I both apologized for your childhood. Did all we could to make it up to you. This fear is on you. It
’
s yours to deal with no matter where or how you came by it. You stayed with Adam because you wanted a safe plan. And we see how well that
didn
’
t
work for you. Now you
’
re leaving Nathaniel to hide in your garden—this one just happens to be all of St. Simons. Marrying that boy is probably the
safest
plan you ever came by. Hear me now, Suz. If you let fear clip your wings now, you will never fly again.
”

Susanna made a face.
“
Never fly again? Don
’
t be so
dramatic, Mama.
”
She moved out from under Mama
’
s stare and carried her soggy Cheerios to the garbage disposal.