Authors: Juli Valenti
A Little Broken (24 page)
Jessie couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out of her. He was usually so eloquent; he always knew the right things to say, how to say them. He helped her in situations where she couldn’t get words out because of her anxiety – she’d never seen him quite this dumbstruck. It was charming.
“Yes, a baby,” she said, her voice cracking. Regardless of how happy he was, she was terrified. How could she possibly have a baby…especially after she’d failed her son so badly? The memories were there, still raw in her failure. Though she now knew how to cope with them, they still hurt to think on, and the thought of a new baby brought all her failures back to life. She wanted to be happy about a new life, a part of her and Dominick, she just couldn’t get past the fear crippling her, tearing at her heart.
Dominick halted in his inspection of the test he held in his hands and looked at her, his eyes narrowing. Scooting closer, he held a hand out and when she grasped it, he pulled her to him. Dropping the test to the tile next to him, he ran his fingers up and down her back, soothing her. For a long moment, he said nothing, the silence between them growing. Abruptly, he pulled back, gazing intently at her.
“Jessie, talk to me. Do you want this?”
“I…I don’t know. I’m scared,” she answered him truthfully.
“I understand you’re scared…but do you
want
this?” he asked again, urging her to answer him.
Hesitating for a moment, Jessie thought about it. Did she want a baby? Of course she did, more than anything. She wanted what she’d lost, and though she knew she’d never have her Little Mister back, she knew that she’d love this child. Dominick would love this child. A new baby would be a second chance. Abortion was never an option for her…she knew what it was like to lose a child involuntarily, actually choosing that option was unthinkable for her.
When she looked up at him, she tried to put everything she was feeling on her face. Fear, hurt, and most prominently, hope.
“Yes, I think I do,” she said, her voice a whisper.
Jumping to his feet, he pulled her up with him and spun her around the tiny room. His joy at her admission was contagious and she found herself bursting into giggles as the world spun in her vision. When he set her feet on the ground again, he was all smiles. Placing a hand to her still-flat stomach, he looked at her before leaning in to place a soft kiss on her lips.
“Jessie, you have our baby growing inside of you. I don’t even know how this is all possible, but I’m so happy, and happy that you’re okay with it.” He paused for a moment and she nodded in agreement. Eyes bright, he continued, “You’ve made me so happy; first by agreeing to be my wife, then when we married. I know this has come as a shock, but know that I will always be the best husband to you, and I will do everything in my power to be the best father as well.”
She knew his words were true, she could feel it, deep down. He was the best husband for her, treating her like she was the most precious thing in his life. Jessie also knew that when their baby came, he’d be the same with him or her. He was a good man, and would be a great father.
With his words still ringing in her ear, he pulled her out of the bathroom and snatched his cell phone, readily calling every person he could think of to spread the news.
***
Nine Months Later
Labor had been a long, hard, terrifying ordeal. Dominick had been right beside her, gripping her hand tightly and whispering words of encouragement. Jessie wouldn’t have been able to get through it without him. Many times the doctor had come in to tell her the baby’s heart rate had dropped, or her blood pressure was high, and they’d have to reposition her, or slow the pain medication. In the end, she’d lucked out, still getting to birth her child naturally without having to resort to a cesarean.
She and Dominick had decided to not know the sex of their baby – wanting it to be a surprise. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea, but it had been what her husband wanted, and she hadn’t minded at the time.
The moments after she had pushed their child out of her had been some of the longest of her life. Jessie waited with her breath held, praying to hear it cry like it was supposed to. Seconds, which seemed like hours to her, passed and finally she heard the most adorable yelp followed by a whine, coming straight from the tiny bundle.
“Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Wace, you’re now the proud parents of a healthy baby boy!” her midwife said loudly, triumph in her voice. “Do you have a name picked out?”
Jessie looked at Dominick, who nodded, and she smiled. They’d thought long and hard what to name the little addition to their family, names chosen for both a boy and a girl, so they’d been prepared.
“Emmanuel,” she told the room. “Emmanuel Jaden.”
Looking down at the beautiful infant in her arms, his brilliantly blue eyes looking up at her, Jessie felt another piece of her heart heal. When Dominick came to put his arm around them both, she realized that he’d been right all along. She wasn’t really ruined. She was hurt, her heart having been shattered, but ruined implied hopeless. She wasn’t. Jessie knew in that moment what Dominick had meant by her being a little broken. He’d healed a part of her, and now her new baby healed another. She wasn’t beyond repair. She was going to survive, live, flourish. She had to. She had a husband who loved her, and a new baby who she loved more than she had the words to explain.
Closing her eyes against the tears she felt pooling in them, she held her newborn tightly to her chest.
“I’ll love you forever, Little Mister,” she whispered to the air around her, feeling more whole than she’d been in a long time. As her words left her, her new baby wiggled in her arms, and she could have sworn a smile crossed his tiny features.
The End
About the Author
Juli Valenti grew up in Arkansas and currently resides in Florida with her husband and two boys. Working a full time job, as well as owning her own editing company, along with a full time family, her life is crazy but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Juli is currently working on several other true-life inspired novels.
You can connect with Juli via the following:
www.facebook.com/authorjulivalenti
www.twitter.com/thejulivalenti
For more information regarding SIDS, please visit:
Table of Contents
