A Life Earthbound (15 page)

Liam’s normally soft and dreamy eyes hardened, and Rhiannon was sorry to see it, though she knew she wouldn’t take back what she said. She knew she was right about Blythe; she had always been an excellent judge of character, and Blythe was an open book.

“You know what Blythe says about you, Rhia?” Liam charged, upset as always to be thrust in between the two of them. “She thinks you’re snobby, prissy, and that you think way too highly of yourself. But that hasn’t stopped me from knowing that none of that is true.”

Rhiannon blinked, surprised by his words.

“Well, surely she’s not too far off…I can come across as a snob sometimes…” she began, only to be interrupted by him.

“You’re missing the point. Both of you have these opinions of each other, but I’m really the only one who knows the truth. And the truth is that Blythe is the furthest thing from selfish; she would die for someone she loves. And she has manners, they’re just not very refined.” He couldn’t help but smile a little at the thought, and his entire face relaxed as he shook his head at her. “And you? You’re not snobby, in fact you are the most grounded and real person I’ve ever known. And I know you don’t think highly of yourself, because you’re constantly criticizing everything you do. So, you see, if you guys gave it a chance, maybe this could all work out.”

For a brief, flickering moment, she felt hope glimmer inside her heart. Maybe he was right…maybe things could work out between them.

“And it’s so different being with you than it is to hang out with Blythe,” Liam said suddenly, laughter in his eyes.

Rhiannon’s brow rose skeptically. “What do you mean?”

“With her, it’s like riding around in a fire storm, all spontaneity, fun and excitement. That’s why we’re always getting into trouble, it’s all her influence, I swear.” He put his hand over his heart and grinned, but then his eyes softened. “But with you, I get to slow down and actually see the world. You notice things, Rhia, that most people don’t take the time to see. And you’re so smart. I can’t believe all the stuff you have crammed into your head. And I don’t know why it’s taken you so long, but when I hear you laugh, I just lose it.”

She didn’t know what to say, so she averted her eyes and felt her cheeks flush.

“I should probably go to bed,” she said for lack of a better response. She got to her feet, only to have him rise with her.

“I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” he asked, trying to reach for her hand, only to have her pull away.

“No, you didn’t,” she replied as she shook out the blanket they had been sitting on and began to fold it, lining up the corners meticulously, needing to do something with her hands.

“Then what is it? Why do you keep pushing me away just when I think you’re letting me in?” There was irritation in his voice now, and it chipped away at her resolve.

When she didn’t say anything and only continued to pack up their things, he rubbed his face with his hands in frustration.

“Rhia, please talk to me.”

Gripping the blanket tightly in her arms, along with the candle and bag of cookies, she turned to face him, fighting to keep the emotion from her face.

“I don’t know how to deal with all of this, okay? I’ve never done anything this crazy before, and I know it all seems so easy to you, but for me it’s hard. I’ve gotten used to being alone and I like it that way. And then you come along and suddenly force yourself into my life, and part of me hates you for it because you make me feel things I’ve never wanted to feel. All my life I’ve detached myself from feeling anything because I knew it was easier that way. You don’t feel pain when you feel nothing at all. But you’ve ruined that for me now.”

“Why would you rather be alone?” he asked in disbelief. “All I want is to help you, Rhia, not ruin your life.”

He walked toward her, his hands reaching out, only to have her step back.

“I don’t need your help. I’m fine the way I am,” she insisted, staring at him frostily.

“There’s a part of you that’s perfect in every way, but the person you’re showing me right now is far from it. I’ve seen who you really are, Rhia, and I want to be with her,” Liam persisted, feeling helpless and confused under her serious gaze.

She softened, feeling hope sneak its way back into her heart for the second time that night. Was it possible that she could really be with him?

“Maybe,” she said quietly, but he knew he’d broken through to her.

“Take as much time as you need to figure this out. I’ll always be here, waiting,” he assured her, leaning forward to kiss her forehead softly. Without a word she turned and fled, frightened by the look in his eyes. His devotion was just too much for her to handle.

She walked as swiftly as she could without breaking into a full run, more confused than she had ever been in her whole life. She was losing control, losing her grasp on who she was, and Liam insisted that it was good for her. But was it really?

She raced up the stairs to her room, distracted enough to not notice her bedroom door was cracked open until she was right in front of it.

Startled, she hesitated for a brief moment before nudging the door open and staring into her room.

Her mother sat on the edge of the bed, her hands clasped primly in her lap and her legs crossed rigidly. The single lamp on the nightstand lit the room, and her eyes were as cold as ice.

“Where have you been, Rhiannon?” Serendipity asked, her voice laced with velvet and just a tinge of fury.

Rhiannon’s mouth fell open, and she found herself with nothing to say. She froze, unable to look her mother in the eye.

With a sigh, Serendipity rose to her feet and approached her daughter, reaching out to examine the blanket, the candle and the bag of cookies.

“A late night rendezvous in the courtyard?” she noted, her sentence more a statement than a question. “I don’t know what you were thinking, disobeying your father and me this way. You know you are expressly prohibited from being in the courtyard, unsupervised, at night. It’s been that way since the raid eight years ago, so don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.”

Rhiannon continued to anxiously stare at her feet.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Serendipity pursed her lips impatiently at her daughter’s silence. “Tell me this, Rhiannon. Were you with Brogan tonight? Is that who you’ve been running off with for the last few weeks?”

Now Rhiannon looked up, her eyes wide as she stared at her mother.

“Oh, don’t act surprised that I knew. I can tell when my own child is distracted and not where she should be. Your father has noticed it, too. He says he gave you a project to work on recently and that you’ve barely done anything with it. What in the world has come over you?”

“I don’t know,” Rhiannon faltered, shaking her head, remorse eating away at her stomach. “I’m sorry…”

“I want you to refrain from speaking to Brogan except only when it is necessary. Clearly he is a bad influence on you. I will have to inform Balgaire of this so he can punish his son appropriately.”

“It’s not him, please,” Rhiannon begged. She couldn’t let Brogan take the fall for this, he didn’t do anything wrong. And his father was already unhappy with him, what would this do? “I haven’t been seeing Brogan.”

“Then who? Rian?”

Taking a deep breath, knowing she was damning them both, Rhiannon whispered his name. “Liam.”

“Dear God, Rhiannon.” Serendipity’s hand flew to her chest as she gaped at her daughter, surprise upon her face. “It was bad enough when I thought you were socializing with the Fury, but with Liam? He’s a disgrace! He and that little hellion cause nothing but trouble and Lucian just lets them run rampant with no regard to decency or discipline. Clarity gave up on him a long time ago because she could hardly control him. Your father and I raised you better than this, Rhiannon, and I expect you to put an end to this immediately.”

“But–”

“No, Rhiannon. This will end right now and you will stop acting like a child. You are to report to your father or me on your whereabouts at all times. I don’t want you leaving the castle without permission, nor will I tolerate you speaking with him anymore outside of class, and then only when I instruct you. Clearly you’re going through some kind of a rebellious phase, and I intend to squash it out of you this instant. No daughter of mine would lose focus this way. You are such a disappointment.”

“I’m sorry, mother,” Rhiannon said again, feeling the recently mended cracks in her heart reopen. In a final act of desperate self-preservation, she steeled herself against her mother’s words and disappointment, shutting down the emotions she had let herself feel.

“Haven’t I given you everything? Structure, direction, taught you how to be a lady? How dare you defy your father and me like this?”

Even though a small voice inside her head was shouting, screaming at her mother’s insane notion that she had ever been a good parent, Rhiannon said nothing. The reasonable part of her acknowledged that her mother had indeed given her structure, direction, and taught her to be a lady. What more could she have ever wanted? Certainly not love, not affection, not one kind word of praise or encouragement…

“It won’t happen again,” Rhiannon heard herself say as her mind shut down and her heart shuddered closed.

And when her mother left her alone, going as far as to lock Rhiannon’s door from the outside, she sat down numbly on the edge of her bed and told herself that this was best.

Her mother was right, it was foolish of her to have ever spent so much time with Liam. And her father was disappointed in her for not giving her full dedication to the project he’d given her. How could she have let herself slip this way, losing who she was just because a couple of boys looked twice at her? No, she wouldn’t let herself fall victim to it again, she would be strong and smarter to how things should be.

She wouldn’t spend time with Liam any longer. And she would maintain nothing but a casual friendship with Brogan, and not let herself get close. As she had always known, the result of letting herself feel was nothing but pain, and pain was certainly fighting to reach her heart now, no matter how bravely she fought it off.

All her hopes had been so childish…she had known, even as she had felt them, that they were impossible. Hoping and wishing never got a person anywhere, only understanding the harsh realities of life did. And perhaps the harshest reality of all was that she simply did not belong with Liam, nor could she ever be friends with Blythe. She was the outsider looking in, but never belonging.

She had a duty to herself, to her parents, to Thea and to Euphora. That had to be her number one priority. She could never again risk the chance of opening her heart, because all that it had done was nearly destroy everything she had worked for. And really, what choice did she have?

When he saw her the next day, he knew in an instant that she was different. The girl he’d gotten to know so well, the one who smiled and laughed, who was so heartbreakingly beautiful that he could never rid his mind of her face…she had vanished deep within the girl he saw now.

Rhiannon had closed herself off from him, from everyone. She walked around with empty eyes and a mouth that refused to smile. She kept to herself and declined to speak to him, even when he tried to confront her. The only words she’d spoken to him before hurrying away were:
Don’t wait for me, Liam. I’ll never be ready for you.

He’d called back to her that he could be patient, that he would never stop waiting for her. But he wasn’t sure if she’d even heard him.

And so life continued, just as it did before he experienced the best three weeks of his young life. It was as though it had never happened and had just been a sweet dream that had seemed so real…

And yet every now and again, as the years went by, he’d catch her in a moment, off guard, and see a flash of the girl he loved in her eyes.

Somewhere deep inside her exterior shell, guarded by cool indifference and prickly politeness, was the real Rhiannon, held hostage in her own mind.

He vowed to himself that he would never, ever give up on releasing her.