A Dream to Follow (8 page)

If only I knew for sure what I am going to do
. He rested his chin on his crossed hands and listened to the wrens twitting their morning song, the cheery notes seeming to promise good things ahead.

“Thorliff, Andrew, cows to milk.” Ingeborg’s voice floated up the stairs at the same time Haakan’s whistle told Paws to round up the cows. Most of them would already be lined up at the back barn door, patiently waiting to trail inside.

Andrew stirred in the bed, then his feet hit the floor. “You all right?”

“Ja.” Thorliff stood, his knee creaking a protest after kneeling on the hard floor for so long. They shrugged into their overalls and headed for the barn.

“Ready for the big day?” Ingeborg called after him. Thorliff didn’t answer. Didn’t matter if he was ready or not, the day was here and would go on in spite of him. The thought brought up his coming commencement speech. Now he had a whole flock of butterflies chasing around in his middle. All the while his hands pulled milk from the cows, his mind repeated his speech. How come the other day it sounded just fine, and now it seemed like barley chaff to blow away on the wind?

“You ready, Thorliff?” Astrid greeted him with a grin after the men had washed up at the outside bench.

“I guess.” He rubbed his middle.

“Hungry, son? Let’s get seated and say grace.” Ingeborg set a platter of sliced ham on the table. When they were all seated, Haakan waited for silence. After the normal I Jesu navn, he paused before the amen. “And, Lord, give our son a calm spirit this day as he prepares to give his speech. We all know he will do a fine job, now please calm him inside and out.” He raised his gaze to wink at his son. “Amen.”

Never had Thorliff spoken a more heartfelt amen.

“Thorliff, you are handsome.” Astrid stared openmouthed at her big brother, dressed now in his new brown tweed suit, sewn with love by his mother, grandmother, and aunt Kaaren.

He could feel his ears flaming at her unabashed delight. “Mange tusen takk.” He resisted the urge to pull at the neck of his new white shirt or loosen the knot in his tie. This was a day of firsts for all kinds of things. A new suit, a new tie, and even new boots that shone with all the polish Haakan could apply. And it would be the first time he would have his photograph taken. Pastor Solberg had said that Uncle Hjelmer had arranged for a photographer to come from Grand Forks to take pictures of the graduating class, since this was the first for Blessing School.

Instead of running across the prairie as was his wont, Thorliff rode in the wagon with his family.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw Anji waiting with the others by the front door of the church. A vision in a daisy-sprigged white dress trimmed with a yellow sash, she smiled nervously when he approached.

“You . . . you are . . . are . . .” He stopped to clear his throat. He who could cover a page with words so effortlessly—where had they all gone now when he needed them? She touched a hand to her throat where a cameo hung on a yellow silk ribbon.

He still hadn’t found his vocal cords by the time they filed into the church to sit in the front row. His heart pounded so loud he was sure Pastor could hear it clear up by the altar.

CHAPTER SIX

The Sunday morning service proceeded as usual with the opening hymn, “Holy, Holy, Holy.” All Thorliff could think about was the beautiful young woman beside him who kept giving him questioning glances when his voice continued cracking instead of rising strong on the familiar words.

Before the closing prayer, Pastor Solberg waited for the shuffling to cease. “And, Father God, we beseech thee to send rain in the right amounts this year. We confess to our fear of another drought and thank thee for thy great mercy in seeing us through the last one. Now to Him be all glory and honor as we praise His holy name. Amen.” Pastor Solberg looked over his congregation. “As you all know, we will be having dinner together first, and then we will celebrate the graduation of four young people from our school. I invite all of you to attend and help these fine members of our congregation celebrate this large milestone in their lives.” He smiled at the four in the front pew. “And now”—he paused and raised both hands—“the Lord bless and keep thee, the Lord make his face to shine upon thee . . .”

So often the words were just for closing the service, but today they smote deep into Thorliff ’s mind and soul. Every Sunday around the world those words were spoken and had been for centuries. And they would continue just as there always would be young people graduating from school and going on with their lives.

He glanced at Anji, who apparently feeling his attention, turned to smile at him. That, too, felt like a benediction, a blessing. He smiled back, wishing he dared take her hand. He could get lost in Anji’s smile. His throat clogged, and the backs of his eyes burned. He looked forward again and commanded himself to take deep breaths. Together they stood for the closing hymn, each holding half of the hymnbook. His voice cracked on the first notes, so he swallowed and tried again, harmonizing as naturally as she did.

If life could get any better than right this moment, he was hard put to think what it might be.

Sometime later Pastor called everyone back inside the church. “We are gathered again now to honor these young people of ours, the first graduates of Blessing School.” Pastor Solberg beamed at the four in the front row. While some folks had left for home after the dinner, most had stayed for the ceremony.

After they sang a hymn, he led them in prayer, then beckoned to Anji.

“Miss Anji Baard will be our first speaker.”

At the applause of the congregation, Anji took her place in front of the altar. Her smile quivered at the corners, but she only had to clear her throat once.

Thorliff felt his chest expand with pride. She was so beautiful, he felt his breath catch around his heart.
I love her, not only as a friend, but as a man loves a woman
. She shimmered in the golden light slanting through the window. He ducked his head to wipe the moisture from his eyes.
Anji, I love you. Do you know that?
Keeping his dancing body in the seat took a miracle of control.

“I want to thank all of you who have been my church family through these years. Pastor Solberg, you have taught all of us with such devotion. What would we have done without you? Mrs. Knutson, you gave me a love of reading. No one can make the Scriptures sing as you do when you read them aloud.” She looked around the room, smiling at each person. “Ma and Pa, I am so blessed to be your daughter. Penny, you were my older sister, far closer than a cousin.” She continued around the room, reminding everyone of things they had done to help her become the young woman standing before them. By the time she finished, folks were blowing noses and wiping eyes.

Thorliff felt as if he might burst apart with pride. She was theirs, but even more so, she was his. Surely she felt the same as he did.

When his turn came, the last, he swallowed hard and took his place. Like his beautiful Anji, he had no notes.

“God says in His Word that He has plans for each one of us, plans for good and not for evil. I believe our Father brought us to this country for good, for us to build new lives. I had a hard time believing that my far’s dying in a blizzard was God’s will, but looking back, I can see how He brought good out of that.” He glanced at his mother and Haakan and felt a bittersweet smile flicker at the tears running down his mother’s cheeks. “I think it is hard to know God’s will every moment, and sometimes it is easier to see when looking back. Like Anji, I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to so many of you. I hope to repay that debt by living the kind of life that will make all of you proud. But mostly the kind of life that will make our Father’s heart glad. I want Him to rejoice over each of us. I want to run my life’s race in a way that is pleasing to Him.

“He says to love one another.” Thorliff tried hard not to look at Anji when he said those words. “That is the second of the great commandments. To love Him is the first. I have learned that it is not always easy to love those around us, especially when we disagree. But when we love, we make our world a better place, and I know we please our heavenly Father.” He looked to each of the graduates. “So let us run our races with love and perseverance so that we might all hear ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant.’ Thank you and amen.”

Thorliff took his seat to a totally hushed congregation.

Pastor Solberg stood and had to clear his throat twice before he could continue. “We will now present these fine young people with their diplomas. Hjelmer Bjorklund, as president of our congregation, will assist me.” He nodded, and Hjelmer rose and approached the front. He set four wrapped packages and four leather folders on the podium before turning to give Pastor a slight nod. The two men looked to the four young people, who rose as one to form a line in alphabetical order, as they had practiced, to the left side of the two men.

Thorliff could barely swallow past an Adam’s apple that seemed to have swelled to boulder proportions. He heard Anji sniff in front of him. A wave of throat clearing, sniffing, and nose blowing broke over the congregation. Someone hushed a baby who let out a wail at all the unusual happenings. Judged by the volume of tears, one would have thought this were a funeral rather than a celebration.

“In the blessed name of our risen Lord, I present to you the graduates of Blessing School.” Pastor Solberg turned from facing the congregation to smiling at Anji. “Miss Anji Baard.”

Anji stepped forward to receive her diploma from Hjelmer with her left hand and to shake his hand with her right. As she faced him, Pastor Solberg handed her the wrapped parcel.

Pastor Solberg raised his hand to rest lightly on her forehead. “The Lord bless and keep thee all thy days. Go in peace and serve our risen Lord.”

Thorliff caught his breath. This part hadn’t been rehearsed.

“Thorliff Bjorklund.”

I’m graduating. This is the end of my schooling here. I cannot go back
. Thoughts whipped through his mind like wheat chaff driven before a fierce wind. His hand shook and his eyes burned as he reached for the leather-bound diploma.

“I’m proud of you, nephew.” Hjelmer shook his hand and whispered the words at the same time.

Thorliff nodded. He could do nothing else. He took another step and accepted the package from his pastor, mentor, and friend. His forehead burned at the touch of Solberg’s hand, no matter that it rested lightly.

“The Lord bless thee and keep thee.”

Please, God, do just that. Keep me from all wrong
.

“Go in peace and serve the Lord. Amen.”

Lord God, I will serve thee however you desire. If only I can decide what it is you want. Please make your will clear to me
.

Thorliff sat next to Anji, his thoughts still racing. He glanced down at the two parcels in his lap. His hands had been sweating so that his fingerprints showed on the leather.

“Congratulations.” Anji whispered without moving her head.

“Ja, and to you.”

Manda took her seat on his left, soon followed by Jacob. He’d hardly sat when Pastor Solberg asked everyone to stand.