186 Miles (8 page)

“Jesus,
Rachel!  You scared the shit out of me.”  He let out a short laugh and turned
to face me.  “What are you doing?”

“I
needed you.”

His
stomach tensed.  “You
needed
me?”  His dimple appeared.

“I
want you.”

This
was it.  I had to
show
him.  I wasn’t conflicted this time.  I pushed up
on my toes and curled my arms around his neck, pushing my lips to his.  He was
holding back.  He didn’t push me away, but he wasn’t exactly reciprocating. 
His hands barely gripped my hips.
 Turn on your lady charms, Stephens.
 
I ran the tip of my tongue across his bottom lip and dragged it to the
underside of his jaw, trailing my hands down his chest. 

He
was growing. 
Fast
.

“Do
you want
me
?”  I tried to use my best seductress voice. 
If this
didn’t work, I was going to have to move out of state.

“You
know
I want you.  I have never wanted anyone so much in my entire
life.”  He lifted his arm and pulled my short hair at the nape of my neck,
craning my head back.  “Let’s go.”

Wait,
what?  Where were we going?

“What?”

“Out
of here.  I can’t fuck you in this shower.  I’m taking my time today, woman.” 
He turned the knobs and smacked me on my backside.  “Now.”

Okay,
okay.

He
picked me up over his shoulder and tossed me onto the bed.  I let out a
squeal. 
Already, I was acting like an idiot and he hadn’t even stuck it in.

He
crawled in on top of me and grabbed me by the back of my knees, pulling me with
a hard, swift motion towards him. 
Dear Lord.

“What
do you
want
, Rachel?”

“You,”
I breathed.

“What
do you
want
, Rachel?”

Um…
I was confused now.

“What
do you mean?”

“Tell
me how you want me to fuck you.”  He rubbed up and down the front of my thighs
methodically.

“Do
you want me to take you
this
way?” 

He
flipped me over onto my stomach. 
Holy Mother of God.
  “Do you want me
to take you
this
way?”  He ran his tongue across the ink on my back,
kneading the flesh around it with his fingers. 

“What
do you
want
?”

I
was going to explode.  Just full-on split in half.

I
wasn’t a master of the sex talk.  It embarrassed me.  Ryan wasn’t a talker and
he certainly wasn’t as bold as Vince was. 
What was I supposed to say?

I
turned my head to face him.  “I want you.  I don’t care how.” 
There,
that’ll do.

“I’m
not going to fuck you until you tell me how you like it.”  He growled in my
ear.  “Do you want it soft?”  He kissed the tops of my shoulder blades.  “Do
you want it
harder
?” 
It was official.  I was turned on
.

I
rolled over until I was on my back, propped up on my elbows, facing him.  “Like
this
.  And hard.”

Who
was I?  Linda Lovelace?

He
reached into the nightstand and tore a foil wrapper.  “We have
got
to
get you on the pill.”

“I
am
on the pill.”

“Are
you serious?  Then why did you use condoms?”

“I
don’t know… they’re from before, I guess.”

“Before
when
?”

“Before
I went on the pill, I think.”  
Ugh, he needed to stop asking questions. 
“Just…
I’m not doing
that
with you until I see a doctor’s note, friend.”

He
grinned.  “I’ll make an appointment tomorrow then.”

I
think I had thigh burn.  And possibly tennis elbow.  Vince was insatiable.  I
just wanted some rest.  Yes, I wanted him yesterday.  Like… in a
crazy
way.  But now, I had to deal with this “living together” thing.  Basically, I
told him that I wanted him to stay away from me;
not
try to sleep with
me.  And then I had gone all Slutty McSlutterson and attacked him.

It
wasn’t like I could just go back to square one.  I either had to embrace my
newfound sluttiness or ignore him all together.

A
conundrum.

Luckily,
I had a shopping trip with Lauren today.  I could get a little distance.

Vince
was serious about the clinic.  He woke up early and started making phone
calls.  I was sure that no clinic was open on a Sunday, but he found one. 
Of
course he found one.
  His appointment was at noon.

So,
what happened when he got a clean bill of health? 
Oh, God, let’s hope he
gets a clean bill of health.
  Having sex without protection seemed
serious
. 
It was what “real” couples did.  They grocery shopped together, ate off of the
same plate, held hands in the movies, had sex without abandon.

In
less than two weeks, he would be moved into his own place.  Things would slow
down. 
Right?

*

Lauren
came to pick me up around 11:30.  Vince had left for his appointment a few
minutes before she arrived.  She wanted to spend the day getting “pampered.” 
This included shopping, nails, and an earth shattering back massage at
Majestic.

We
ended up going to the mall on the north end, aimlessly walking around and
poking our heads in different boutiques.  I dragged her into Anthropologie and
ended up spending an hour trying on dress after dress.  I finally settled on a
black-and-white printed Dusen Dusen tennis dress with a deep box pleat in the
center.  It cost
way
more than I intended to spend, but it was crazy
awesome.  I would just eat soup this week.

We
walked across the hall and settled into another store.  This one was a little
out of my price range. 

“So,
how’s Vince?”  She raised her eyebrow at me, shifting through the clearance
rack.  She was trying to look disinterested.  It wasn’t working.

“He’s
fine.”

“You
guys hooked up yet?”

I
was hiding. 
Literally
trying to hide from her behind a tall rack.  At 5
feet, 2 inches, it was pretty easy to camouflage myself behind a row of maxi
dresses.

“Girl,
I can
see
you.”  She shoved the dresses and bent her head down, peering
at me through the metal.  “You
slut
!  You totally did it, right?”

I
picked up a pair of large sunglasses and slid them on.  “Paris Hilton or Florida
housewife?”

“Oh
my God.  You
did
.”

My
face was getting more flushed by the minute.  I was caught. 

Carrie
already knew.  She didn’t seem to think it was horrific, but she was my best
friend.  She
had
to stick by my side and all that nonsense.  “Please,
Lauren… don’t say anything.”

She
grabbed my hand and said, “Cookies.  Now.”

We
sat outside of the bakery.  I tore small pieces off of my Snickerdoodle and
listened to her one-sided conversation about my new “relationship.”

Oh
my God. 

Do
you know what this means? 

I
mean, he’s living with you. 

Oooh,
we need new lingerie!

Cookies
consumed, she was
obsessed
with me buying some sort of lacy nightmare
for Vince.  An hour later, I walked away with a full bag of slut gear and two
bottles of perfume that I hated.  It felt comical.  I was sure that the bag
would get pushed to the back of my closet and returned next week.

“Screw
the massage.  Go home, put on that green thong and get some.”

“I
just want to take a nap.”  I groaned.

“Nap
after
.”

She
pretty much peeled out of the parking lot, clearly on a mission to get me laid.
 I looked out the window on the way home while she talked.

I
really did just want to take a nap.  This was all getting so complicated.  I
was starting to forget Ryan; my days were filled with Vince. 

Spending
the weekends together was really great, but they were
full
days.  We
were around each other nonstop.  I was thankful that we both went back to work
tomorrow.  We would be in a routine.  We wouldn’t see each other during the
day.  I worked north, he worked downtown.  A thirty minute drive.  There would
be no lunches spent together.

She
pulled into my drive and put the car in park. 
Oh no, this wasn’t over.
 
She turned to me.   

“Rachel. 
All jokes aside… this is
good
.  You need to get your mind off of things.” 
She paused.  “So
what
if Vince isn’t the love of your life?  You
had
that.  If this is a distraction to help you, see where it goes.  You don’t have
to marry the guy.  Just … be happy.”

She
smiled at me.  I looked at my lap.  “Okay.”  I pulled the door handle.  “See
you tomorrow at work.  Thanks for driving today.”

“Love
you, bunny.”

“Love
you too.”

*

Vince
was watching television when I cracked the door.  He clicked the remote and
turned it off.  “You need help?”

“I’m
good.  I don’t have that much.”

“Victoria’s
Secret?”

“Yeah,
Lauren made me buy all of this stuff.”  My voice trailed off.  “Perfume and
other stuff.” 
I said “stuff” again.  What was wrong with me?  Why couldn’t
I just tell him that I bought slut wear to tempt him with?

“She
made
you?”  He was smiling at me now.

I
groaned aloud.  “Whatever.  It’s just underwear.  No big deal.”

“Oooh,
let’s see.”  He clapped his hands together.  “Fashion show?”

“No.” 
I turned to the stairs and started up them.

“Don’t
you even want to know how the clinic went?”

Oh
crap.
  I had
forgotten about that.

“Oh
yeah, how did that go?” 

“Got
a full screen for everything.  I wasn’t sure what all you wanted me to get, so…
anyway, the HIV test is negative.  They told me while I was there.  The rest of
the stuff takes about 48 hours.  Someone should call me by Tuesday.”

God,
were we talking about this?
 
It seemed so intimate.

“Oh,
good.” 
What else was I supposed to say?  Great, now we can do it like
bunnies?

“So,
we wait until Tuesday and then I take you out to celebrate.”

“What
are we celebrating?”

“It’s
a sex-a-bration.”  He grinned, proud of his cleverness.

“You’re
an idiot.” 

“Yep,
but you love me.”

“Nope.” 
I started to climb up the stairs.

“Yes,
you do-ooh,” he said in a sing-song voice.

*

On
Monday, Vince left for his new job.  He was so cute; I think he was actually
nervous.  He changed clothes three times.

It
was really hot that morning, so he ended up in a white Distillers t-shirt and dark,
cuffed jeans, but they were both fitted and nice.  Plus, he worked in a
recording studio.  I don’t think they had much of a dress code.

The
morning routine was easy.  Comfortable, even.  It reminded me of my work
mornings with Ryan.  Vince got up, showered and made coffee.  When I came
downstairs, he poured me a cup.  I took it and went back to my room, commencing
with my morning ritual.  Shower, hair, makeup, dress. 

He
caught me staring into my closet and gave his opinion.  “You should wear that
pink one with the white flowers.  You know… the one you wore to my party.”

I
couldn’t believe that he remembered what I wore to a party that was over two
months ago.  It was a little dressier than what I normally wore to work, but I
paired it with a cream vintage cardigan and ballet flats to make it a little
more casual.

He
had a bit more of a commute than I did, so he left a few minutes before me.  I
could tell he wanted to kiss me goodbye.

Although
he had slept in my room again on Sunday night, he hadn’t kissed me.  I could
tell that he was hesitant.  He wanted me to have space if I needed it.  I
wondered if he lay in bed like I did, feeling awkward, wishing we could just “be”
together. 
When would that day come?

When
he made for the door, he turned.  “You look so pretty.  Wish me luck.”

I
walked to him.  “Good luck, honey.” 
Honey?  Ugh.
 

Eh,
fuck it.
  I
leaned in and gave him a short, wet kiss and placed my hands on the sides of
his neck.  I wanted him to know that he didn’t have to keep walking on
eggshells around me.  I wasn’t going to break.

When
the kiss broke, he smiled.  He was happy.

*

Vince
came home from work, gushing about his day.  I was overjoyed that he seemed to
be so settled in such a short amount of time.  His rental would be ready in a
few weeks and things would start to adjust.

“Tomorrow
is Tuesday.”

“Yeah? 
What’s Tuesday?”

He
raised his eyebrow, his look knowing.  “You know what Tuesday is, lady.”

“Ah,
yes. 
Test
Results Tuesday.”

“No…
it’s All-Sex-All-The-Time Tuesday.”

“What’s
wrong with you?”  I mocked him.

“Nothing
is wrong with me.  Why can’t I be excited to have a little sexy time with my
girl?”

“Sexy
time?”

“Whatever. 
You know what I mean.”  He leaned in.  “I’ve been
so g
ood.”

“God,
Vin, it’s been like two days.  Seriously, like
two
full days.  You’ll
survive, I bet.”  Truthfully, I was counting the hours as well.

He
slid over to me.  “What if we just did a little second base action?”  He
breathed in my ear. 

“What
happened to All-Sex-All-The-Time Tuesday?  It’s less than 24 hours from now.”

“Okay,
I can wait.  But I can’t wait to kiss you.”

He
leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine, parting his lips, his tongue warm.  I
wrapped my arms around his neck, breathing him in. 
God, he smelled good
. 
He placed his hands on the tops of my thighs, moving up.  He moved his left
hand and placed it on the small of my back.  His right hand disappeared under
my dress, brushing the front of my underwear, his fingers pressed against the
outside of the satin material.  I was squirming now.

“That’s
more than
kissing
, Vince.”  I breathed the words aloud, but they weren’t
very convincing. 

“Okay.” 
He was breathing hard.  “Tomorrow then.”  He took his hand out of my dress.

What? 
Oh God, what did I do?  I didn’t mean it!  I didn’t mean it!

“You
don’t have to go.”