120 days... (7 page)

Spinning her around, he pulled her back and into his arms and she easily followed his lead, matching him step for step. As a teenager, he would have never danced with a girl, but as an adult, he knew all women loved a man who could dance and sweep them off their feet, and he used the knowledge to his advantage. Part of him didn’t want to have to strategize or doubt her tonight; tonight he only wanted her in his arms.

He had to admit, she felt good in his arms. It had been too long since he’d been with a woman, having a dying brother kind of put a damper on things, even if he had disappeared and wouldn’t let him help.

“Why do you go to all of this trouble? Dolores would have been happy with the prom alone, but to get Noah here, that couldn’t have been easy to do.”

“Because it’s what I do. I make the impossible happen for them.” She sighed. “Dolores told me how she’d always loved Last Stand and would listen to their music all the time, it was also no secret she had a crush on Noah. After she was diagnosed, she went through all the treatments, radiation, chemo, surgery. Obviously, there were a lot of days where she felt terrible, and she’d listen to them, every day, every hour. That band and Noah were part of the reason she kept going, even though the doctors said the odds of the treatments working were almost non-existent, she kept fighting.”

“You think by doing this you’re giving her more time?”

“I don’t think it, I know it.” She looked over at Dolores. “Look at her, she’s so happy. She hasn’t been this free or able to move this well in weeks. It’s breathed new life into her. Sure, she’ll be sore tomorrow, but she’ll be oh, so happy; so very, very happy. That makes everything worthwhile.”

“How long do you think you can keep this up? You make sure everyone else is taken care of before you take anything for yourself.”

“I’ll keep this up as long as I’m allowed to. They fight every day. I’ll fight harder for them to make sure each day is a treasure for them.”

“Who fights for you?”

“I don’t need anyone to fight for me.”

“We all need someone.” The more he thought about it, how she did this on her own, the more it confused him. It would be a lot of work to scam people out of their money, much less by yourself. Everything he’d seen her do made his protective instincts awaken.

“Says the man who pushes everyone away.”

He caught himself before he missed a step. “What makes you say that?”

“Besides the loner vibe coming off you in waves? Maybe it has something to do with how you’ve been acting the past couple of days since you actually mourned your brother in front of me. Or it might have something to do with the fact that Evan and I spent a lot of time talking.”

He looked away from her, over her shoulder, not focusing on anything, his heart sinking, wondering what his brother would have said about him. Part of him knew Evan had always looked up to him, but the other part wondered what he truly felt about him and his lifestyle. It was so different from how they’d grown up. He wondered if the ache in his heart was for the fact that his brother thought he’d pushed him away. Or that his brother had told the woman he allowed to care for him while he was dying that he didn’t want anyone in his life.

“People change.”

“Yes, they do, Ethan, but sometimes the price to make that happen is just too high.”

She slipped from his arms and walked away. He stood in the middle of the dance floor for a moment before turning and leaving the building. No one would miss him and, quite frankly, he couldn’t stay there any longer. He hoped by leaving the dance, he could get a few minutes reprieve from all the happiness that was just covering up the pain, which was always just below the surface.

Day 15

Ethan,

You won’t believe this! Sam set up a private tour of the Seattle Seahawks’ facility. It was a longer trip than they usually take, but she knew how much it would mean to me. I was able to go into the locker room and down on the field. Some of the players were even there. It was so awesome.

I know I said I didn’t want you to see me dying, but I wish you could have been there.

Evan

Ethan looked around the rec hall and thought wreck hall would be a better name. Who would have thought a bunch of people living the last days or weeks of their lives would party so hard, or so late? Grabbing a trash bag, he started going around from table to table tossing plates and other garbage away.

When the door opened, he turned and saw Dolores come in. She still wore a huge grin. He nodded at her.

“Oh, I didn’t expect anyone would be here yet. I just wanted to have one last look before everything was taken down.” She shrugged. “Relive the moment, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t.” He wasn’t sure what to say to her so he continued to clean up as she talked.

“It was perfect last night, wasn’t it? I still can’t believe I met Noah Matthews,
the
Noah Matthews.” She spun in a circle with her arms out. “And we danced to everything, even a slow dance together. He was the king to my queen. I want to remember this night for as long as I have left.”

Her happy sighs filled the silence. He moved around the room, filling up another garbage bag. When he came around to the stereo, he pushed the button and Last Stand’s music filled the room. When Dolores clapped and laughed, he turned and smiled at her. To look at her at that moment, nobody would know her doctors didn’t give her much time to live.

Ethan remembered reading Dolores’ file after he started. Last Resort wanted all of their employees to know every guest’s story. She had been a dancer on Broadway before she retired to Washington State and opened her own dance studio. Then she became sick, but her muscles still remembered, even though most of the time her body was too weak to do the steps she knew by heart. Today she danced like she was on stage in front of thousands of adoring fans, who’d come just to see her. Dancing her solo, she moved around the room, dipping, spinning and kicking gracefully. She used her whole body, and let the music move her.

Ethan leaned back against the wall and watched her move. Evan had always been an athlete, and Ethan wondered if he’d been able to hike during his stay like he’d wanted to, which trails he might have taken. Did he ever throw the ball around with anyone? Did he push his body as much as he could for as long as possible?

So engrossed was he in his thoughts, he didn’t notice when she tripped the first time but something must have registered because he pushed away from the wall and narrowed his eyes at her. This time he did notice when her left knee buckled. Everything moved in slow motion as he ran toward her, his heart racing, wondering if he’d be able to catch her in time if she fell.

Skidding to a stop, he was able to grab her and turn so she landed on him instead of the floor. He hardly noticed the pain as it radiated through this body from the hard landing, his attention focused solely on Dolores and the way her eyes were rolling back in her head.

“Dolores . . . come on, honey . . . Dolores . . .” He gently shook her. Not taking his eyes off her, he pulled his phone from his pocket. Quickly dialing Sam, he rocked back and forth with Dolores’s head in his lap hoping she’d wake up. “Come on . . . answer . . .” The phone rang on the other end.

“Hey, Ethan,” Sam said.

“Sam, we’re in the rec hall. Dolores collapsed.”

“Is she awake?”

“No. I caught her before she fell, so she didn’t hit her head.”

“Good. I’m on my way.”

“Hurry.” He disconnected the phone and turned his attention back to Dolores. “You have to wake up. You haven’t told me what you and Noah talked about yet.”

It seemed like an hour but was probably only five minutes before Sam came flying into the rec hall with one of the nurses right behind her. Ethan took a deep breath and pressed his shaking hands to the floor, leaning back on them, glad he wasn’t alone anymore. He focused on both women as they worked on Dolores, moving her off his lap and getting her vital signs.

Finally, Sam looked at him. “Thank you for being here for her.” She gave him a sad smile. “We’ve seen this before. Sometimes when we’ve been able to do something spectacular for someone, they get a little too excited and end up having to rest for a few days. She’ll be fine, I’m sure she didn’t get any rest last night, and as you can see, she was up and going early.”

Ethan cleared his throat. “She was dancing to the music. It was beautiful. I should have stopped her. It was too much.”

“No, you were right to let her do what she loves. Every day she goes through her stretches, maybe a few steps here and there, but she hasn’t felt the music in her blood in order to dance. This was what she needed. Don’t beat yourself up. Besides, she’s sassy. If she wanted to dance, there was no way you were going to stop her.”

“Yeah . . . well–”

“Ethan, you can’t try and protect them from everything. You have to allow them to do what they want, when they want. They don’t have much time left. They want to live every single moment of it, really as all of us should without having the doctors put a time limit on it.”

“But–”

“We’ll talk soon. Right now, we need to get Dolores to her cabin and get her settled.” She nodded toward the tables. “Why don’t you finish up in here? We’ll have time later.”

“Yeah, sure.” Ethan stood and walked away from them, rage flowing through him. He wanted to punch something. Cancer sucked; all terminal diseases sucked. No one should have to go through this. Grabbing a couple of garbage bags, he went out the back door and down to the dumpster, tossing them in with more force than necessary. He tilted his head back and looked to the bright blue sky, rolling his shoulders, hoping to release some of the tension they held.

He wanted to go back home, to his home, back to the business of making money. The last thing he wanted was to get attached to the people at the ranch, adding more pain to his already grieving soul. For the last ten years or so, he’d purposely lived alone, not spending much time with his brother, allowing him to go on his way, and do his own thing, become his own man. But being truly alone, he didn’t know what to do with himself. While he had a heap of money in the bank, he was completely and totally alone, working for next to nothing at a ranch where everyone was dying.

One-hundred-and-twenty days wasn’t that long in the scheme of things, but to someone who’d only been given about thirty-five days to live, it was three lifetimes. He wasn’t supposed to care. He wasn’t supposed to get close. In and out—find out what kind of scam she was pulling, and leave, exposing her so she wouldn’t be taking advantage of other unsuspecting dying people.

Walking over to a large rock, he sat down on it and looked out over the buildings and the Legacy Garden. So what if she was running a scam, maybe skimming off the top for her own purposes? He’d been there long enough to know every single guest was well taken care of and no expense was spared, making sure everything they could possibly want was given to them. While the average was one-hundred-and-twenty days, some people only lasted forty, while he knew a few others lasted well over two-hundred days. She never kicked them out, all she did was allow them to stay, and live, in the positive environment she created. Was that so bad?

His mind moved from one thought to another. From Evan, to Sam and Dolores, to Last Resort, to his house and business, then around again and again until finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and wanted the physical outlet. Maybe if he worked hard enough, his body would allow his brain to shut off for a while. With long strides, he walked back into the rec hall and began cleaning with a vengeance. Too soon, it was back to normal and guests started wandering in.

The last thing he wanted to do was be around people. Going out the back door again, he weaved his way around to his room. Changing into shorts and running shoes, he strapped his iPhone to his arm and shoved the ear buds in his ears. Cranking Metallica up, he took the trail that went straight up the hill and tried to run as fast as he could away from the feelings overwhelming him.