100 Perks of Having Cancer: Plus 100 Health Tips for Surviving It (96 page)

Perk #95: Cancer Helped Me to Find My Spirit

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on the floor, I would lie on my bed or just sit on a comfortable chair. Rather

than do Mindfulness of Breathing meditation (which often just irritated me

because I could never seem to quiet my mind), I decided to listen to guided

meditation CDs. This allowed me to combine my deep breathing exercises

with visualization. Guess what? Meditation wasn’t work anymore; it actually

became fun! I started rising at 5:30 each morning to allow me extra time to

relax and listen to these guided meditations. This form of meditation instills

in me a feeling of love, joy, and peace, which I try to carry into my day.

Reading my many books has been an important part of my spiritual

education. However, rather than seek out new books and gurus after my

diagnosis, I began to reread my old favorites. I discovered that the words of

these great teachers were different when read through the lenses of cancer.

I began to discover common themes that ran through many of these books,

themes such as the importance of self-love and forgiveness (even the Lord’s

Prayer talks of forgiveness), living in the present moment, and using the

power of positive thinking and affirmations.

When cancer came into my life, I did not really have time to pursue my

spiritual seeking by pushing myself to meditate harder, read more books,

or do more courses. Ironically, when I stopped seeking, I discovered that

what I had been looking for was there all along. I found my spirit!

How do I know when I am connected with my spirit? It is when I expe-

rience that feeling of joyful bliss. This

feeling did not come from reading a

book or doing a course. Rather, it pops

up when I am gardening, meditating,

hugging my children, or just looking at a

beautiful sunset. Becoming an “enlight-

ened spirit” did not suddenly “fix” my

life or shower me with wealth (although

I DID find a good man!). Becoming an

enlightened spirit meant simply realizing

that God is within me and all around me.

When I am seeking that connection to

the divine, I can find it in the eyes of

my children or in a single flower.

Sunflower grown by Flo’s son, Ben

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100 Perks of Having Cancer

“If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly,

our whole life would change.” —Buddha

HEALTH TIP #95

If You’re Going to Breathe, Be Mindful

I
can’t emphasize breathing enough. Yes, if you are reading this, you are

breathing right now and it is automatic, but
mindful
breathing is different.

With mindful breathing you can bring your mind (and your body) to a place

of peace and, in doing so, reduce stress and improve your health in many

ways. Unlike deep breathing or meditative breathing, mindful breathing can

be done anywhere at any time.

Peter Doobinin, founder and guiding teacher at Downtown Meditation

Community in New York, gives some helpful instruction to improve on

what you have been doing all your life. Peter states:

As human beings, we breathe every moment of our lives. And yet, we

pay very little attention to our breathing. If, however, we learn to be mind-

ful of our breath, it will have great impact on the quality of our well-

being.

It’s helpful to put aside some time every day, to step back from the

busyness of our lives, and to meditate, to practice being mindful of the

breath. It’s also extremely helpful to be mindful of the breath at different

times during the day, as we go about our daily tasks. We can be mindful

of the breath at almost any time, while we’re working, driving a car, talk-

ing to our kids. Nobody even has to know!

In being mindful of the breath, you put your attention on the move-

ment of the breath. You feel the breath, at one specific place. It could be

the nose, the throat, the chest, the abdomen. You put your mind on the

breath and you attempt to keep it there. If your mind drifts off, bring it

back to the breath. If it drifts off again, bring it back again. It may wander

off, like a young child, again and again. That’s okay. Just keep bringing

it back.

Perk #95: Cancer Helped Me to Find My Spirit

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When practicing mindfulness of breathing, it’s important to put your

mind on the breath at some point where the breath feels comfortable. If

your belly hurts, don’t feel the breath there; choose another spot, perhaps

the nose.

As you’re mindful of your breath, allow it to be easeful, pleasant-

feeling. The breath, by its nature, is easeful, pleasurable. So you don’t

have to try to “make it” that way. Simply allow it to be comfortable.

You can tell yourself: “Breathe in the most comfortable way.” Then get

out of the way. Let your body breathe comfortably. Defer to your body’s

innate wisdom. It knows what to do; it knows how to breathe com-

fortably, easefully.

If you make a regular habit of being mindful of the breath, you’ll

certainly come to know many benefits. You’ll experience greater ease,

greater well-being. You’ll begin the crucial process of learning to let go

of your excessive thinking. Thinking is a manifestation of stress. When

we’re mindful of the breath, we move our awareness from the

thinking realm, into the body. We begin to de-stress. We begin to expe-

rience tranquility.

Tranquility . . . doesn’t that sound nice? And you’ll get it just from

breathing!

When I first started to practice mindful breathing it was

Be the most thankful

weird. I would try to breathe a certain way and control it

for your breath,

and then I would get out of breath! I must have looked like

because without it,

an idiot sitting there . . . very quietly . . . hyperventilating!

you have nothing.

When I continued to practice, it got a lot easier. Now I can

do it anywhere. (I’m doing it right now. . . .)

It wasn’t until I could be mindful without trying to control my breathing

that it made sense. It really is very calming and brings you back if you’re

anxious or have a lot on your mind. It’s also a great metaphor for life. Be

mindful
but don’t try to
control
it. Just let it happen.

Just breathe. . . .

Perk #96

Realizing I Am Worth It

W
hen I lost all of my hair just two

weeks after starting chemo, I was

not the least bit disturbed. I had heard

many stories of women whose pre-

chemo hair was replaced by a head of

luxurious curls when their chemo

ended. I never did really like my hair;

it was too thin, too fine, and too

mousey brown. I would gladly sacrifice

that hair for a big mane of sexy curls!

After chemo ended, I would rush

off to a mirror every morning and examine my head under a bright light,

eagerly anticipating my chemo curls. But, alas, they never appeared. Instead

of the prize-winning locks, I got the consolation prize: even thinner than

before, baby-fine hair, with what I can only describe as bald patches on the

top and sides. While I was grateful that I had some hair, I couldn’t shake

the feeling that I had somehow been ripped off!

I promised myself that, as soon as this hair was long enough, I would

go some place nice to have it styled by a professional who could at least

give the illusion of nice hair. For weeks I agonized over where to go. I finally

settled on a place that, from the outside, looked upscale yet affordable.

As soon as I walked in, I knew I had made the right choice. I had never

seen so many beautiful people (the staff) gathered in one place. I was lost

in a sea of flawless skin, gorgeous hair, and impeccable clothes . . . and

that was just the men! Several of the staff approached me at the same time

to take my coat and offer me tea, coffee, or a glass of wine from the minibar.

A GLASS OF WINE, NO LESS! I had never before been offered a glass of

wine at a hair salon—how classy. Oh yes, I had come to the right place

all right!

Next, Stephen, my stylist, colored my hair, and I was treated to a com-

I 410 J

Perk #96: Realizing I Am Worth It

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