Withholding Secrets (30 page)

“What are you scared about? Baby, you need to talk to me.” His eyes softened even more as he pulled me tight to him.

“I am just afraid that something’s wrong. Kane, something’s wrong. Very wrong.” Falling into his embrace, I cried hard. I couldn’t lose them, and after my little ranting spree, I would be surprised if Ben even talked to me again.

“Hey. I have Sky and Jordan both watched. Don’t think for a second that I would let anything bad happen to either one of them again. You all are mine, Keri.” Kissing the top of my head, he rubbed my back.

“I just can’t get it out of my mind what that monster did to her, Kane. I can’t. I just keep feeling like it was me, and I hate it. I hate what he had done to her. She is a little girl, and it’s like I can feel those hands on me. Kane, she’s…” Disgust washed through me as I choked out a cry. It was like it happened to me, but it didn’t. My mom would never let a man touch me at that age. Nothing like that ever happened to me and I was just feeling her pain.

“No, baby. Never again. Because of you, she is under the protection of a great person. She has you now, Keri. Be thankful for that. Ben’s right, though. You need to learn to control yourself.”

“What if something—” Turning to the guys, my heart stopped and froze instantly.

Kane’s eyes shifted up to Ben as the color slowly faded from his handsome face. “What is it?”

“My ex-wife hasn’t seen Alicia since yesterday.” His voice broke as his hand clutched the phone tightly. Cursing fled from his mouth as he started for the barn.

Oh god! They had her! They had Ben’s little girl! She was the blonde in the photo! How could I let this happen? How could I let them take his girl?

Seeing Keri sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands and the tears dripping from her face was heartbreaking. I knew her thoughts. I knew exactly what she was thinking. It was sickening. It was pure disgusting that another girl had gone missing, and one that we had known.

When we got home last night, Keri told me that we shouldn’t say anything to the kids yet. Not without knowing. Ben’s wife had figured that she was staying over at her aunt’s and never questioned it. But, maybe she was just with her friends or another relative and somehow the communication lines broke down in the meantime.

That wasn’t it. She had been abducted. It was the only explanation, but the note that was found in Alicia’s backpack said differently. All Ben mentioned that the note said was Alicia wanted what Sky had, and she wasn’t coming back until she got it all.

Alicia wasn’t like that. We knew it. Ben knew it. But the cops were chalking it up to a runaway. What else could they go on? Still, the search was on, but it wasn’t hopeful. I paid some extra to have our family guards on the case, but they were coming up empty also.

It was groupings of twos in all the places where the girls ‘
ran away’
. Twos. One here and the other one … God, there would be another abduction, and this one would be the one that no one saw coming.

Placing my hands on Keri’s shoulders, I rubbed them lightly while the pain in my chest intensified, the muscles all contracting at once. I had constant watch on Sky. The more, the better. With the threat now in our city, I was more than happy to spend the money. My parents were glad to offer their security also. If the kids weren’t with us, my parents had them. Even in school, I had people watching.

“I have to go to work.” Keri’s voice cracked as she stiffened under my hands. “I should let my boss know. He has a daughter that age, too.”

“I would rather you just call him. I am sure that he would let you stay home.” Rational. That was what I was, and Keri needed some sleep. Worrying all night about Alicia was bringing her down, and hopefully soon, we could get some better answers as to where the girl went.

“Then what, Kane? Sit here and let another girl go missing? It is Alicia!” Her fist came down on the table, making a loud thump. Her tears rained down her face. She was barely hanging on as it was. I knew her temper when it came to those kids. I knew that if anything was said about those kids, she didn’t just stop at the ledge. She jumped clean off and went in with a fight. I didn’t blame her. With those two and what they had been through, I wanted to be the same way, but I had to be the one who used their head, knowing that Keri didn’t. “It’s Alicia. Please, just … just back off.”

“I can’t do that. You know that I can’t.”

Her pain filled eyes came up to mine, and I could see her heart breaking through them. This was killing her inside. I knew that she was upset, but so was I. “We are not your prisoners, Kane.”

“I don’t treat you like prisoners.” The sting shot through my shirt and injected right into my heart. I was going too far with the seclusion, in a way, but I had to keep them safe. Without Keri and those kids, my life meant nothing. Not after experiencing all this with her and Jordan and Sky.

“Bullshit! You lock us down every chance that you get! They can’t leave without having a security team with them! You lock us down in this house and you don’t let us out!” Rage blasted out from her, and her face was beat red with truth and anger. Dealing with her like this wasn’t a good thing, and I needed to back off before I lost my world to something stupid.

“You’re right.” Grabbing my jacket off the back of the chair, I gritted my teeth. I knew that she didn’t mean it, but it still hurt. I just wanted to protect them. Seeing the lengths that she had gone to in order to get Sky out of that house when someone had broken in, I needed to protect them.

Thinking of the break in, maybe Sky was meant to be the next girl. Maybe it wasn’t the ex-husband angry over the fact that Keri didn’t have her paycheck deposited into her account. I had to do something to check this out. If Skylar was the next little girl that was going to get abducted, they would have one hell of a time getting to her.

“You had asked me to make sure that the kids were taken care of if anything happened to you. I would in a heartbeat, Keri, because I love you, and I love them.”

“Don’t you say that about her!” Flying up from the chair, the rage shot into her eyes as her breath rushed out of her. “You think about touching her, I will cut your—”

“Keri!” Stepping back, the pain hit me more. How could she think that I would do anything to hurt Sky? I know that she had thoughts before she even knew who I was, but she knew me now and yet, she was still accusing me of being a monster. I may have done drugs in my youth and been involved in some heavy shit, but I would never hurt a little girl. I never would touch any kid. “Are you even listening to yourself?”

“I swear, Kane! You touch her! You think about it! You look at her….” The rage overtook her senses as she flew out of the chair and toward me with her fists swinging, wanting any kind of connection that she could get. I didn’t know what was worse: having her accusing me of touching that girl, or coming at me like she did. Whatever it was, maybe I wasn’t as good for them as I thought. Apparently, she didn’t trust me like I really thought she did. And this cut, this wound, was much deeper than the one she had in her leg. This one, I was never going to heal from and look at her the same.

“I would never do that! I would never do that to anyone!” Stepping out of the way, I caught a fist on my jaw and rubbed it off as the anger and hurt swirled into my stomach. I knew that she didn’t mean anything, not one bit of this, but still. It cut deeper than I ever imagined it would. Sky was like my own daughter. I wanted her to be my daughter. “How can you stand here and accuse me of something like that?”

“I know what it feels like! I know what it is like! I hate you! I hate you so much!” Still, her fists were flying and the pain was mixing in deep. What in the hell did she mean? What was she talking about?

“You are just—” Taking a step back, the lump in my throat grew larger. This was not the woman I was in love with. This was a different woman I had never seen before.

“I will kill you if you ever touch her! I will kill you if you ever touch me again!” As she lunged for me, I captured her around the waist and brought her down to the floor as gentle as I could. The loud scream came from her, ripping my chest in half. What was going on? Had she really lost it?

No. She had to be just scared. She was just scared to death about Alicia, and worried sick about Sky. That was all that this was. But, it hurt so damn bad after everything that we shared. The only smart thing for me to do was to just back off until she cleared her mind and thought about what she was saying.

When she asked me for help in getting the kids phones and then took it so lightly that I had gone behind her back and done so, I thought she was finally able to trust me fully. I thought that we were a family. We were a team. All of us. And now, I was being slapped in the face with loving her and the kids too much. They were a part of me. They were a part of her. That was why I loved her so much.

“I am going to stay at the club from now on. I swear, Keri. You are losing it. You are losing everything right now. For you to accuse me of doing something like that, I … I can’t do this, Keri. I can’t do this anymore. You’re going to lose them if you keep this shit up. I warned you about this.”

“Just take them, Kane. Take them away from me. You have the means. Your parents have the means. You have to take them away from me!” The knives kept coming, and each one she was throwing at me was slicing right through me and digging deeper and deeper into my heart.

“What in the hell are you saying?” Hot waters came to the surface of my eyes, not believing what was actually going on.

“You have to take them away from me! You have to take them, Kane! Keep them away from me!” Her hands pushed on my chest as hard as she could, but I wouldn’t budge. The hurt she was instilling in me was far too much for me to even think of moving.

“No, Keri! I am not letting you give up on them!” Why, after everything that has happened, was she wanting to get rid of them now? We were all so happy and great together. The kids were secure and not afraid to come forward with anything they had troubles with, and that was all Keri’s doing.

“I am a monster! I am nothing! I can’t have them! I can’t have them!” Shoving away from me, she cursed loudly as she rolled onto her stomach, burying her face deep into her arms. “I will walk away! I promise! Just … take them and give them everything that I can’t!”

Stepping back, I let out my breath. First, she was accusing me of horrible things, and now, she wanted me to take the kids away from her? I couldn’t believe that she actually wanted them gone.

Having Keri walk out on them would be the worst thing to ever happen to those two. It would destroy them, and they would never recover from that. But, for the past week or so, she had been different, strange, and almost distant from all of us. Something was going on, and if she didn’t trust me enough to confide in me, maybe I needed to leave for a while; for long enough until she figured this all out on her own.

“I will take them for a while so that you can get your damn head on straight! You better take the time and think about this, because you know that there will be no forgiving of this, Keri.” Walking to the door, I swallowed hard, seeing the love of my life on the floor crying. “You walk away from them, there would never be a way that they would ever forgive you. I know that I can’t right now. I will never forgive you for this, Keri.”

“Kane, please…” That cut ten times deeper. I didn’t want to hear her beg me to walk out and never look back. I didn’t want that. I wanted her to beg me to forgive her. I wanted her to beg me to come back.

I wanted my Keri back. This … this wasn’t the woman I had fallen so hard for. She had been pulling away all week, and I just couldn’t take any more of it. She knew that she could talk to me about anything, but there was something going on that she wasn’t telling me. There was something that was bringing her to this besides Alicia’s disappearance.

If those two kids would ever forgive her for wanting to run away, I never would. I wouldn’t for the simple fact that I fell in love with the smart mouthed, crayon throwing woman who would do anything to keep those two. Seeing this side of her was killing every cell in my body. It absolutely killed me that she wanted to just walk away.

“Seven, two, four, three. You’re getting what you want. We are walking away, and for your sake, I hope those kids aren’t going to hate you for this. You do love them, and I know that you do. But, as you wish. We are walking away.” The pain weighed on my chest so much that my eyes were burning with the tears ready and on the edge of rolling down my face.

Love them and leave them, right? Wasn’t that how I was before my life was flipped upside down? The pain that I sustained with my birth parents wasn’t anything to the pain that I was experiencing now. Losing Keri was the hardest thing that I would ever face in my life. Losing Keri was going to devastate those two kids who loved her so much. How could I tell them that Keri wanted us to walk away?

There were only minutes that I had available. Minutes, because of my break-in. Last night, I cried so hard while having the house to myself, but it was for the best. It was what I
had
to do. A mother would do anything to protect the ones that she had loved, right? That was what my mom always told me, and she was right. I had to do everything I could to protect the three of them.

Kane never would touch Sky in any way other than fatherly. The best father at that. He loved both of them as if they were his own. I could tell every time that he looked at them, when he talked to them, and when he was alone with them. And they loved him just as much. Someday, I hoped they all could forgive me for doing what I had to do. Risking Kane being involved in this was the only reason why I had to send him away. I
needed
him to go away before I ruined my life for good. If I didn’t wind up dead, I would be in prison, and I wanted to have him completely out of the picture.

He was the one man I trusted with Jordan and Sky. He would do anything to keep them safe, and he had the means to also. I know that he had his security and private detectives searching for Alicia. Don’t ask me how I knew all of this, but we will just chalk it up to “
It’s all a numbers game
”. That was what I was teaching Sky. I just hoped like hell that, if needed, she would be able to understand anything that I left her.

Let’s just say that I had been committing so many crimes that if I were traced, those girls had no hopes of ever seeing their families again. Apparently, leaving it to the cops and the FBI wasn’t helping. When it came down to my little Sky, my sweet and innocent little girl who was the next target, I had to do this. I had to do this for her. And for Alicia, who was already in their hands.

As I went through the information on the screen of my boss’s computer, I sucked in a breath taking in the information I knew on Mr. George. This couldn’t be right. This wasn’t right. No. This had to be a mistake. I must have typed the name in wrong.

Melinda George didn’t exist. Well, not around here anyway. There were a few Melinda Georges, but the ages didn’t add up. One was in her eighties, and the other was twelve. Nothing was coming up as Justin George’s dead spouse, or a spouse at all. Maybe they weren’t married, but he clearly said his “wife”.

Looking at the picture on the corner of his desk again, my heart flipped in my chest. The girl looked so familiar. It was like I had seen her before, come to think of it. Her eyes were shiny and bright, a pretty hazel with flecks of gold in them. Her smile, a big grin with the large front teeth. Couldn’t be no more than ten, eleven at the most. But the photo was strangely familiar.

Picking up the brass frame, I swallowed hard as I carefully pried the back off it. Taking the thin paper out, my gut clenched hard. It was a photo stores used to enhance the frames. Just an advertisement with a heart taped over the barcode. How could I not see that? It was a fake photo. Mr. George wasn’t married, and he didn’t have a daughter. He was a liar!

Turning back to the computer, I typed his name into the search and waited. At work where all the computers were monitored? Yes, I was there. Yes. I was performing illegal acts … again, and breaking and entering was adding to the list now. At least this, Kane wouldn’t be looked at. Nope. It would be on that liar’s hands if traces were ever found.

But why lie about something like that? What was he covering up? He was good, though. Damn good. That worry he had about the missing girls, telling me to make sure that I kept a good eye on my own daughter…

It was him! He was the one who was watching her!

As the next article popped up, my worry diminished and the anger was pooling into my blood. He had been arrested a few years back for sex with a minor and the charges were dropped. Why were they dropped, though? I had to find out now. I had to know. That was already a must, but first things first. I needed to break through to find out who Joe was talking to. Once I cracked that and had everything in line, I would be able to slip into the place of Sky and take them all down.

Please forgive me for sinning again. I know that I had said that I wouldn’t do it again, but I had to, and this could be tricky
. This would surely get me thrown in prison for the rest of my life.
Please, have mercy on my soul. All of this was for a good reason. This was to keep my little girl out of the hands of another monster,
and that monster was my boss.

Hacking into files, I held my breath. I knew what the time limit would be before a trace would begin, and it was a matter of minutes. Just a small fraction of time that I had in order to see what the case and the charges were. As the screen opened, I counted in my head as I quickly read over the police report.

I froze. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t count. I couldn’t…

Oh, god! It was him! It was my boss! He had been caught with a minor … a thirteen-year-old! The charges were dropped because the parents had backed down, but why? Why did they back down? Why did they drop the charges on that bastard?

The screen flickered a little, but I escaped before the system alerted the FBI. What in the hell did I do now? It had to be him. He had known I had a daughter, a young one and the age that he apparently liked. Something still wasn’t adding up. Something wasn’t right about the whole report. Yes; he admitted that he had the girl at his house and he hugged her, but that was all. That was all that sent that little girl into a flying, crying fit? I don’t think so. He did more than that. He just wasn’t caught with his pants down.

Going through some more hacking, I found his accounts. Checking, credit cards, and savings. Damn! He had a lot of money hidden in a couple of accounts that I was able to trace. A lot of it, too! How could anyone not know this? How could this not alert anyone? And charges to the same areas where the girls had gone missing.

What in the hell? The FBI or the police couldn’t find this? What in the hell were they doing? This was the guy who was kidnapping those girls. This was him!

This was the unknown source!

And he would pay. He would pay for his sins. I would make sure of it. I would make sure that he did for Ben, for Alicia, and for all those girls. Just as I told Mr. Donaldson the day that he was harassing Sky, he messed with the wrong girl.

If Kane thought that I was losing it, he hadn’t seen anything yet. He would see how far I would go to keep my kids safe. Taking that girl off the roof that night of the break in was nothing compared to what I was going to do. He may never forgive me for the things that I said to him the other day, but I would make sure that he knew I loved Jordan and Sky as much as I did.

He would forgive me. I know he would once he found out. He would take good care of them. He would make sure that they never got hurt again, and they were loved for being the greatest kids alive. He would give me that. I know that he would. He loved me that much, too.

Being away from them was hard, harder than I imagined, but it was only to keep them safe. I was sure that Jordan and Sky were both hurting so much right now, but it was to keep them protected. It was to do everything I could to make sure that they were unharmed. If I went down and Kane had gone down, too, and then what? Then where would they be? In the hands of someone who wouldn’t give a damn about them?

I had to do this alone. Those two needed him, and he would take good care of them. I just wished that I could see them grow up. I wished that I could be there when Jordan graduated from college, and when Sky walked down the aisle to give her heart to someone who deserved it. Maybe I would be, but in spirit. There would be no way that I would ever survive this. What I was about to do. I had to give my life to them.

Looking at the clock, I let out my breath as I nodded. It was time. It was time to begin the destruction that was going to end my life. This time, I wasn’t just destroying one computer, but the whole office. It was the only way I could cover up everything. Closing my eyes, my fingers hovered over the buttons. The ones that would end my fate. It was now that everything would be the beginning of the end for me. 

Pulling my fingers away, I shook my head as tears blistered my eyes. I had to see. I had to make sure. Going through the backdoor ways, I managed to wiggle my way into Joe’s system and shift through the files there.
Ten seconds
…

There were a lot.

Nine…

One caught my eye. One marked J.G.

Eight
…

Opening it, I looked through the numbers.

Seven
…

Account numbers.

Six
…

Justin George’s account numbers.

Five
…

He was involved. He was my unknown source. He had to be.

Four
…

No! But why else would Joe have his account numbers?

Three
…

He was involved, but there was someone else. There had to be someone else involved. Mr. George was just a buyer. Not the leader.

Two
…

Black. The computer was completely black. Tipping my head, my chest collapsed on itself as I gasped for some air. Releasing my fingers on the buttons, the gust of hot springs leaked from my eyes and I wanted to scream. I wanted to … throw up.

Pushing away from his desk, I put the photo back together and placed it in the exact same spot that it was in. Correcting everything, my final step in clearing me was to wipe my prints off the computer. Of course, they would be his, too, but at least mine weren’t on there. I had a few minutes before people started to show up.

Damn go-getters. Who in the hell loved their job that much? I sure in the hell didn’t, but it paid the bills and I was damn good at it. Other than that, I hated it.

Covering every track that I left, I counted everything. Every damn thing on my way out. Now, it was onto the store, then to see my kids and Kane from a distance. I had to. I had a letter written already, and my words on the paper which would give Kane my custody of the kids if anything should happen to me. It
was
going to happen to me, and there was no way to change it. I told those three that I would give my life before I would let anyone else hurt any one of them. I meant it. I meant every word that I said. I even had it legalized, too. Talk about smart, and so very wrong. I was going to hell, for sure, for all the crimes I’d committed.

I locked back up and drove over to the rink. Saturday … game day … the first game that I would miss. But, I couldn’t miss it. It would be the last one that I would be able to see, and I had to cherish that. My mom had her life taken away in a second without a chance to at least cherish the things that she loved the most. I was going to have that one last chance. I was taking that at least.

Sitting in the parking lot, I let my head rest back as the hot tears came. How could I go in there and see them one last time? How could I look at them, knowing that would be the last time that I would ever get to? I just wanted to let them know that I was so sorry for hurting them, but it was to protect them. It was because I loved them so much.

As I stayed in the shadows, I looked through the crowd at our spot, Ben and mine, with the girls perched on the bench right below us. The bench was vacant, but I would make sure that it would be filled with them again. With Alicia and Sky, and Ben watching over them as Andrew and Jordan played their hearts out in the game they both loved.

I just had to make sure that I left a damn good clue for Sky and hoped that she could decipher it. That was my only hope to save Alicia and whoever else, and to keep Sky from having to look over her shoulder constantly and not be afraid to live her life. She deserved that. She deserved to be happy. To live in a world that was full of freedom and not fear. Call it a birthday present.

There she was in the team box with Kane, close to Kane’s side, wearing that red jacket that he had given her the first time that we went to the rink. Her arms were wrapped tight to her body as the tears housed in her eyes. She was hurting. She was in so much pain in her heart; pain that I caused. I just wondered what Kane told them.

His arm went around her shoulders as he pulled her close to him. Kissing the top of her head, he closed his eyes while feeling the same pain. I just hoped that I didn’t damage them for good, but I knew that they were strong. As long as they had each other, they would make it through this.

When the team emerged from the locker room, I knew that it was my chance. I had to get into Kane’s office and get what I needed. With the game starting, it was the perfect time before the watchers stirred and used the bathrooms. The beginning of the game was when no one moved … and the only chance that I had.

Going to the door, I picked the lock and slipped in before anyone came by. Taking in a deep breath of air that was thick with Kane’s cologne and stale, icy air, my heart slowly sank into the empty pit. How I missed the soft linger of his cologne. I missed his arms. I missed him. Breaking his heart was never an option, but he would understand. That was why I had given him the two people who I loved more than life itself. Nothing was a better gift than that.

My fingers curled around the very thing that I was after. Just as I figured, it was right there. It was right in the spot that I knew it would be.