when he had left that night he had not gone home but had taken the road up to darband in the mountains where there were many cafes in beautiful gardens on the banks of the stream with chairs and tables and sumptuously carpeted divans where you could rest or eat or sleep, some of them esplanaded out over the stream so the water chattered and gurgled below you. and he lay there, looking up at the stars, knowing that he was changed, knowing he'd gone mad but that he would scale any hurdle, endure any hardship, to marry her.
and he had though the way had been cruel and many times he had cried out in despair.
"what are you thinking about, tommy?" she asked now, sitting at his feet on the lovely carpet that had been a wedding gift from general valik.
"you," he said, loving her, his cares banished by her tenderness. the living room was warm like all of the huge apartment, and delicately lit, the curtains
drawn and many rugs and lounging cushions scattered around, the wood fire burning merrily. "but then i think about you all the time!"
she clapped her hands. "that's wonderful."
"i'm not going to zagros tomorrow but the next day."
"oh, that's even more wonderful!" she hugged his knees and rested her head against them. "wonderful!"
he caressed her hair. "you said you had an interesting day?"
"yes, yesterday and today. i've been to your embassy and got the passport, just as you told me to do, th "
"great. now you're canadian."
"no, beloved, iranian you're canadian. listen, the best part is that i went to doshan tappoh," she said proudly.
"christ," he said, not meaning to, for she did not like to hear him blaspheme. "sorry, but that's that was crazy, there's fighting going on there, you're crazy to put yourself in such danger."
"oh, i wasn't in the fighting," she told him gaily, and got up and rushed out saying, "i'll show you." in a moment she was back in the doorway. she had put on a grey chador that covered her from head to toe and most of her face, and he hated it. "ah, master," she said in farsi, pirouetting in front of him. "you have no need to fear over me. god watches over me, and the prophet whose name be praised." she stopped, seeing his expression. "what's the matter?" she asked in english.
"i i've never seen you in chador. it's it doesn't suit you."
"oh, i know it's ugly and i'd never wear it at home, but in the street i feel better wearing one, tommy. all those awful stares from men. it's time we all went back to wearing them and the veil."
he was shocked. "what about all the freedoms you've won, freedom to vote, to take off the veil, freedom to go where you please, marry whom you please, no longer the chattel that you used to be? if you agree to the chador, you'll lose everything else."
"perhaps, perhaps not, tommy." she was glad that they were talking in english so she could argue a little, unthinkable with an iranian husband. and so glad that she had chosen to marry this man who, unbelievably, allowed her an opinion, and even more astonishing, allowed her to express it openly to him. this wine of freedom is very heady, she thought, very difficult, very dangerous for a woman to drink like nectar in the garden of paradise.
"when reza shah took the veil from our faces," she said, "he should also have taken the obsession from the minds of men. you don't go to market, tommy, or ride in a car, not as a woman. you've no idea what it's like. men on the streets, in the bazaar, in the bank, everywhere. they're all the same. you can see the same thoughts, the same obsession, in all of them thoughts
about me which only you should have." she took off the chador, put it neatly on a chair, and sat down at his feet again. "from today on i will wear it on the street, like my mother and hers before me, not because of khomeini, god protect him, but for you, my beloved husband."
she kissed him lightly and sat at his knee and he knew it was decided. unless he ordered her not to. but then there would be trouble in the home, for it was truly her right to decide this matter here. she was iranian, his home iranian, and always would be in iran that was part of his bargain with her father so the trouble would be iranian and the solution iranian: days of vast sighs and soul-filled glances, a little tear, abject, slavelike service, judicious sobs in the night, more tortured sighs, never a word or look in anger and all murderous to a husband's or father's or brother's peace.
lochart found her so hard to understand sometimes. "do as you want, but no more doshan tappeh," he said, caressing her hair. it was fine and silky and shone as only youth can shine. "what happened there?"
her face lit up. "oh, it was so exciting. the immortals even them, the shah's crack troops couldn't dislodge the faithful. guns were going off everywhere. i was quite safe, my sister laleh was with me, my cousin ali and his wife. cousin karim was there he's declared for islam and the revolution with several other officers and he told us where to meet him and how. there were about two hundred other ladies, all of us in chador, and we kept up our chanting, god is great, god is great, then some of the soldiers came over to us. immortals!" her eyes widened. "imagine, even the immortals are beginning to see the truth!"
lochart was appalled at the danger of her going there without asking or telling him, even though she was accompanied. thus far the insurrection and khomeini had seemingly passed her by, except initially when the real troubles began and she was petrified over the safety of her father and relations who were important merchants and bankers in the bazaar, and well known for their connections at court. thankfully her father had dispelled all their concerns when he had whispered to lochart that he and his brothers were secretly supporting khomeini and the revolt against the shah and had been doing so for years. but now, he thought, now if the immortals are cracking and topechelon young officers like karim are openly supporting the revolt the bloodshed will be enormous. "how many came over?" he asked, trying to decide what to do.
"only three joined us, but karim said it's a good beginning and any day bakhtiar and his scoundrels will flee like the shah fled."
"listen, sharazad, today the british and canadian governments've ordered all dependents out of iran for a while. mac's sending everyone to al shargaz till things cool down."
"that's very wise, yes, that's wise."
"tomorrow the 125'll be in. she'll take genny, manuela, you, and azadeh tomorrow so pack a b "
"oh, i won't leave, my darling, no need for me to leave. and azadeh, why should she go either? there's no danger for us father would certainly know if there was any danger. no need for you to worry..." she saw his wineglass was nearly empty so she jumped up and refilled it and came back again. "i'm quite safe."
"but i think you'd be safer out of iran for a wh "
"it's wonderful of you to think of me, my darling, but there's no reason for me to go and i'll certainly ask father tomorrow, or you can..." a small ember of wood fell without danger into the grate. he started to get up but she was already there. "i'll do it. rest, my darling, you must be tired. perhaps you'd have time tomorrow to see father with me." deftly she tidied the fire. her chador was on a nearby chair. she saw him glance at it. the shadow of a smile washed over her.
"what?"
for answer she just smiled again, picked it up, and ran gaily across the room and down the corridor to the kitchen.
unsettled, lochart stared at the fire, trying to marshal his arguments, not wanting to order her. but i will if i have to. my god, so many troubles: charlie vanished, kowiss in a mess, kyabi murdered, and sharazad in the middle of a riot! she's crazy! mad to take such a risk! if i lost her i'd die. god, whoever you are, wherever you are, protect her...
this living room was large. at the far end was a dining-room table and chairs that could seat twelve. most times, they would use the room in iranian style, sitting on the floor, a tablecloth spread for the dishes, lounging against cushions. rarely did they wear shoes and never high heels that could damage the deep carpets. there were five bedrooms, three bathrooms, two living rooms this one they used generally or with company, the other, much smaller at the far end of the apartment was, as customary, for her to go to when he had business to discuss, or when her sister or girlfriends or relations were visiting so their chatter would not disturb him. around sharazad was always movement, always family nearby, children, nannies except after sunset, though frequently relations or close friends were staying in the guest bedrooms.
he never minded, for they were a happy, gregarious family, in front of him. it was also part of his bargain with her father that he would patiently learn iranian ways, patiently live iranian ways for three years and a day. then he could choose to live outside iran temporarily with sharazad if he needed to: "because by then," her father, jared bakravan, had said kindly, "with the help of the one god and the prophet of god, may his words live forever, by then
you will have enough knowledge to make the correct choice, for surely by then you will have sons and daughters, for though my daughter is thin, divorced, and still childless, i do not think she is barren."
"but she's still so young, we may decide it is too soon to have children."
"it is never too soon," bakravan had said sharply. "the holy books are quite clear. a woman needs children. a home needs children. without children a woman will get into idle ways. that's the most of my beloved sharazad's problem, no children. some modern ways i approve of. some i do not."
"but if we agree, she and i, that it is too soo "
"such a decision would not be her business!" fared bakravan had been shocked. he was a small, paunchy man with white hair and beard and hard eyes. "it would be monstrous, an insult, even to discuss it with her. you must think like an iranian or this possible marriage will never last. or even begin. never. ah, is it that you don't want children?"
"oh, no, of course i want children, but per "
"good, then it's settled thus."
"then can it be settled thus: for three years and a day may i decide if it is too soon?"
"such an idea is foolish. if you don't want chit "
"oh, but of course i do, excellency."
at length the old man had said, reluctantly, "one year and a day only but only if you swear by the one god that you truly want children, that this astonishing request is completely temporary! your head is truly filled with nonsense, my son. with the help of god, such nonsense will vanish like the snow on desert sand. of course women need children..."
absently lochart smiled to himself. that wonderful old man would bargain with god in the garden of paradise. and why not? isn't that the national pastime of iranians? but what do i say to him in a few days now the year and a day almost over? do i want the burden of children? no, not yet. but sharazad does. oh, she went along with my decision, and she's never mentioned it but i don't think she ever approved it.
he could hear the muted sounds of her voice and the maid's voice from the kitchen and the quiet it enhanced was, as always, wonderful such a contrast to the cockpit that was his other life. his cushions were very comfortable and he watched the fire. there was some gunfire in the night but by now it was so commonplace that they hardly heard it.
i've got to get her out of tehran, he thought. but how? she'll never leave while her family're here. maybe she's safer here than anywhere, but not if she joins the riots. doshan tappeh! she's crazy, but then they all are at the moment. i wish to god i knew if the army's really been ordered to crush the revolt. bakhtiar has to move soon or he's finished. but if he does there'll be a blood
bath because iranians are a violent people, death seekers providing it's in the service of islam.
ah, islam! and god. where's the one god now?
in all the hearts and heads of believers. shi'ites are believers. so's sharazad. and all her family. and you? no, not yet but i'm working on it. i promised him i'd work on it, promised i'd read the koran and keep an open mind. and?
now's not the time to think of that. be practical, think practically. she's in danger. chador or not she's not going to get involved, but then, why shouldn't she? it's her country.
yes, but she's my wife and i'll order her to stay out of it. what about her father's place on the caspian sea near bandar-e pahlavi? maybe they'd take her there or send her there the weather's good now, not as rotten cold as it is here, though our home's warm, the oil tank always full, wood for the fire, food in the icebox, thanks to her old man and the family.
my god, i owe him so much, so very much.
a slight noise distracted him. sharazad was standing in the doorway wearing the chador and a light veil that he had never seen before. her eyes were never more alluring. the chador was sibilant as she moved closer. then she let it fall open. she wore nothing underneath. the sight of her made him gasp.
"so." her voice as always soft and throbbing, the farsi sweet-sounding. "so, excellency, my husband, so now my chador pleases you?"
