Wes and Toren (16 page)

I chuckled lightly at her immediate conclusion. But, maybe she was right. Wesley, my mom, Alycia, they’d all told me that other people’s opinions didn’t matter. It was true; I should only care about what people close to me thought. Wesley loved me; he said so. I sighed heavily though, because I cared about what people close to Wesley thought too. I didn’t want to cause trouble between him and his family.

Jeanine seemed to sense my inner thoughts and smiled impishly.

“So, who’s your boyfriend? Anyone I know?”

“Umm,” I hesitated; Jeanine was a junior, so she might not even know Wesley. “His name’s Wesley,” I said. I felt my cheeks burn at the mere mention of his name.

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“Hmm. Wesley? Oh! Wesley Carroll?” she said loudly, and strangely, proudly. My eyes widened and I looked around the store, and then nodded. “Wow! You’ve got great taste! I’d been crushing on him for a while. How about that? Wes and Toren…. I bet you guys make a cute couple!”

I TRIED calling Wesley’s cell after I got off work, but it still went to voice mail and I began to worry. He usually called by now. What if something happened after he left last night? My chest felt tight and I was hot, like I had a fever. I called his cell again, but he still didn’t answer.

Tears began to fill my eyes and I fell back on the sofa. I sucked in breath, but I was still gasping for air.

I looked at the clock on the cable box and rubbed the tears from my eyes. It was a little past six and Mom and Alycia were still at work.

Where was Wesley?

There was a knock at the door and I almost tripped running to answer it. Wesley stood on the other side with a smile on his face and I wanted to hit him, kiss him, and yell at him.

“Hey, what’s goin’ on?” he asked, walking in and brushing my shoulder with his hand.

“What? Where have you been? What’s going on? Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you answer your phone?” I shouted, unable to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks.

“Whoa. What? Are you okay?” I leaned into him and rubbed my face on his shoulder, wiping away my tears. “What’s the matter?”

“I…you…. Where have you been? I tried calling you a million times but I only got voice mail and I didn’t want to call your house because I was afraid your parents would answer and I’ve been worried sick. Why didn’t you call me?” I rambled, hugging Wesley like he would disappear if I let go.

“I thought you had to work today. I didn’t want to bother you there.

Plus, I was running around this afternoon and well, I’m sorry. I should’ve called you.”

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“Damn right you should’ve!” I shouted, stepping back and looking up at Wesley. He smiled at my red eyes and flushed cheeks.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

I looked down and grimaced. But he was right here, with me.

“All right. Give me a kiss and I’ll forgive you.”

“Just a kiss?” Wesley pouted, sticking out his bottom lip.

“We can negotiate after you tell me what happened last night.”

Wesley kissed me sweetly and I smiled before Wesley licked my lips and kissed me again. He walked to the sofa and then pulled me down on his lap. I stayed on his lap, and looked at him, waiting.

“Well, nothing happened last night. My folks were already in bed, so I went to bed too. But this morning, they woke me up at, like, seven and my mom just started in on me. Obviously, she told my dad. And she went on about how they didn’t raise me to be like this and how could I do this to them. Then she started on how this was just a phase and that I’d outgrow it. Can you believe that? I actually laughed at her. I didn’t mean to. I just…did. Then my dad yelled at me and told me to shut up.

He said that I had to stop seeing you and I told him that wasn’t an option.

I told them that I was in love with you and that they just needed to accept it and get over it. Then, Dad said that if I was living under his roof, blah, blah, blah, so I told him I wouldn’t live under his roof. Then, he punched me and called me a fucking faggot.”

“He punched you?” I asked. I turned his face to the side and saw the red mark left by his father’s fist. “Are you okay? How could he? I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay. I’ll be all right,” he reassured me, brushing the hair from my eyes with a gentle smile on his face. “It was the first time my dad ever hit me,” he added, looking down, his smile gone. “So, I left right after that. I didn’t know what to do, so I went to get a bite to eat and then….”

“Why didn’t you call me or come over?”

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“It was early and I didn’t want to bother you. Plus I knew you had to work today.”

“So? You still should’ve….”

“I know. I’m sorry. But after that, I started looking for an apartment. I went to a lot of places, but I found one I liked, and I actually signed a lease. I can move in this weekend.”

I stared at Wesley with wide eyes. His own place? “But how can you afford it?”

“Well, I’m working full-time and I’ve actually been saving up for this for a while. I’ve got enough for the security deposit and a few months rent, but, Toren.” He paused and looked at me for a long moment. “Toren, I want you to think about this carefully and I don’t need an answer right now. I just want you to really think about it. I…I want us to live together. I want you to move in with me.”

I didn’t know what to say. What could I say? It wasn’t that I didn’t want to live with him; it just seemed like it was too soon. Everything was happening so fast. I loved him, I didn’t have any doubt about that, but we’d only been going out for a few months. I didn’t say anything.

Wesley watched my reaction and he seemed a little disappointed.

“So, just think about it, okay?”

I nodded my head and Wesley touched my face with his fingertips.

I took a deep breath and Wesley kissed me gently. He stared into my eyes and for some reason, my tears began to collect again. He wiped them away with his thumb and then tilted my chin up.

“Let’s go to bed,” he whispered.

I closed my eyes and blushed. “Wesley.”

“We don’t have to do it. I just wanna be close to you. I wanna hold you in my arms right now.” He buried his face in my chest and he was breathing hard. He wasn’t crying, but he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I know that sounded lame, but that’s all I want right now.

I just want to be as close to you as I can.”

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I held his head to my chest. That was all I wanted too. I stood up and held my hand out to him. I led him to my room and we lay in my bed, pressed close, with all our clothes on. We didn’t talk; we just felt each other’s warmth and closeness. We stayed there until Alycia came home around nine-thirty. We told her what happened as I made a late dinner for the three of us.

“Do you have a place to stay ’til you can move in?” Alycia asked.

Wesley shook his head as he slurped up a strand of spaghetti. “Oh, why don’t you stay here ’til then? I’m sure Mom won’t mind.”

I called Mom at work and asked if Wesley could sleep over. She said it was okay and I laid out a comforter and pillows on the floor. My bed was too small, but we could sleep next to each other on the floor. I told him that my mom checked in on me each night when she got home and I made him promise that we would innocently sleep side-by-side.

Wesley grudgingly agreed and after Mom checked in on us, he pulled me into his arms, our bodies tangled, and we fell asleep again.

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I WOKE with Wesley’s lips pressed against mine. I blinked groggily and smiled. I really liked waking up to Wesley. He was leaning down over me, wearing the T-shirt and shorts he wore yesterday. He had some coarse whiskers on his chin and he kissed me again, tickling my cheek.

“I gotta go to work, but I’ll be back around six tonight,” he whispered.

“You’re leaving already? Did you eat breakfast?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. Wesley shook his head. “I’ll make you something,” I said, sitting up.

Wesley pushed me back down with his lips. “Nah, I gotta get going. Besides, it’s your day off, so sleep in,” he said, sitting back on his heels.

“Okay,” I agreed easily. “Have a good day.”

“I will. I love you,” he said, standing up.

“I love you too,” I answered, turning to my side and falling asleep.

When I woke up again, it was after eleven. I yawned loudly and looked around my room, up at my bed, then at the T-shirt Wesley borrowed. I remembered waking up when he left, but my mind was fuzzy.

Mom was making breakfast in her pajamas. I poured her a cup of coffee and told her to sit down while I put on the apron that was still hanging in the pantry. Mom kissed my forehead and sat down at the Wes & Toren

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kitchen table, resting her head in her hands. She had bags under her eyes and her skin was pale. She looked as exhausted as I felt. I set down a plate of pancakes and scrambled eggs in front of her and returned to the kitchen to fix my own.

“How’s Wes doing?” she asked, after a long, loud yawn. “Did he have work today?”

“Yeah. He’s doing okay, I think. Actually, I’m not sure. His dad kicked him out of the house yesterday.”

“What? That’s ridiculous!” Mom said, furrowing her eyebrows in disbelief.

“Well, he found an apartment. He signed the lease yesterday. So, I guess he’s kinda okay with it. He said he’d been saving up money to move out for a long time,” I explained, sitting down next to Mom at the kitchen table. It was kinda funny; we never ate at the table except at holidays. “I’m not sure if everything has really sunk in yet, though. He’s really angry with his parents, but he didn’t really get along with them anyway.”

Mom studied my face quietly for a moment. “He’s probably putting on the tough act for you,” she said.

She was right. He kept telling me that it would be okay. He was comforting me. But his parents threw him out; they abandoned him. He needed someone to tell him that it would be okay. I felt terribly guilty.

He needed me to be strong for him and I was selfishly concerned with my own fears.

“When’s he moving in?”

“This weekend. But, he doesn’t have a place to stay ’til then, so…is it okay if he stays here?”

“Of course. He’s welcome here.” Mom said. Her motherly instinct asserted itself, taking Wesley in as one of her own. “Still, I can’t believe his parents threw him out. That’s just…. It doesn’t make any sense!”

I smiled. Mom was defensive for Wesley. It made me feel good that he was so easily accepted into our family. Even if his parents did turn their backs on him, he had somewhere he could come home to.

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Alycia woke up just as Mom left for work. Alycia kissed Mom goodbye, then sat down on the sofa and turned the TV on.

“Tor, make me some breakfast,” she ordered with a raspy voice.

“Sorry, too late,” I said. The dishes were done and the pans were clean. “Besides, it’s after lunch. Have a bowl of cereal or wait for dinner.”

Alycia grunted in response and switched channels. She always had trouble waking up and wasn’t the most pleasant person in the morning.

She was bossy and loud, but kind and caring. It was easy to forget that she was my little sister. She seemed so mature and knowledgeable about some things that I just didn’t have a clue about. I was lucky to have her, even if she was a slave driver.

“Hey, Alycia? Can I talk to you?”

“Oh my God, you’re pregnant,” she mocked, feigning astonishment and glancing at me over her shoulder.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the couch. “C’mon, I’m being serious.”

“All right, all right,” she conceded, turning toward me and resting her arm on the top of the sofa. I swallowed hard and she looked at me with upturned brows. “Is something wrong? Are you all right?”

“Oh, yeah. Everything’s okay,” I reassured her. “It’s just that Wesley asked me to move in with him.”

Alycia stared at me, as if waiting for something more. She held her hands up, palms open. “And? What, you need help moving in?”

“No. I…. Well, don’t you think it’s kinda soon? I mean, we’ve only been going out about four months and the apartment is only one bedroom, so don’t you think people’ll think it’s strange? For two guys to be living in a one-bedroom apartment? It’s not that….”

“So that’s what this is all about,” Alycia said, shaking her head. “I thought you came out already. It’s not living with Wes; it’s what people think about it. Didn’t we go over this before? Tor, who gives a damn what other people think? The question is: do you want to live with him?”

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I looked at the floor and squeezed my hands together. Was she right? Is that why I felt so nervous?

“Okay, let’s figure this out,” Alycia continued, placing her hands on her knees and looking at me with a serious expression. “You like being with Wes, don’t you?” I nodded. “And you like having dinner with him and watching TV and doing stuff together, right?” I nodded again.

“You like waking up with him in the morning, don’t you?” I blushed, but nodded. “And you love him, right?”

“With all my heart.”