Authors: Donna Freitas
Mrs. Sachs shook her head. “When you're a seventeen you'll be allowed to go.”
I held up my fingers and began to count. I was eight and then I would be nine. Ten. Eleven. And so on. “That's so far away.”
“Skye . . .” Mrs. Sachs hesitated again. She kept staring at my hand in hers. “Service is dangerousâbodies are dangerous. There are ways to avoid the Service requirement. Inara loves you and it would break our hearts to see her lose your friendship. Mr. Sachs and I are willing to do what it takes so both of you can stay safe in the App World.”
“But my mother and sisterâ” I started.
“Don't worry about that now.” Mrs. Sachs got up. “By the time the decision is upon you, I bet you'll have forgotten all about the Real World and everyone in it.”
I stood, my virtual legs shaky. “I don't think so.”
Mrs. Sachs gave me a hug. “You're so young. A lot can happen in nine years.”
This was true. Learning that one day I could see my family again gave me a goal and a purpose. And Mrs.
Sachs was right about something else. Some of the pain I'd felt about not hearing from my family, the fear that they'd forgotten me or had never loved me, was lifted with the news that communication was prohibited. Enough that I felt lighter. More hopeful. While it would be difficult to wait so long to see my family again, I was patient. I could hold out for Service.
When Mrs. Sachs headed back into the kitchen that day, I returned to Inara's room. She was sitting on her bed, downloading her homework. I arranged myself on her violet-covered blanket. “Guess what?”
Inara paused her download to focus on me. “What?”
“When we become seventeens,” I said, feeling important, “we're going to unplug.”
Inara and I finally arrived at school. Students were celebrating just like the revelers in the street. No one seemed to care about what was happening to those left behind in the Real World. Even Rain was forgotten. Singles were acting like royalty, as though we were the only ones affected by the border closing. As though it was really about us. Everyone was drunk on their new taste of fame.
“I was shocked at first, like everyone else,” Sateen was saying to Simon Best, Inara's crush.
Inara stopped to listen.
“Then when it started to sink in,” Sateen went on, “I realized this world would be a better place without
anyone unplugging or anyone else plugging in.” She ran a hand through her hair. It still had a faint shimmer to it, even though the Apps had mostly drained away by now since she was inside the school. “What a relief not to have to unplug!” She looked around, taking in the other students standing in groups, silently chatting one another in their minds or whooping it up loudly in the halls. “Now, it's just us here. We're the last children of the App World.”
Simon placed a hand against the wall next to Sateen. “Yeah, it's crazy to think about it. This world is
closed
.” He leaned closer, like he might kiss her.
Inara bristled, her skin alive with static. I reached for her, my fingers nearly burned by the sparks that flashed and sizzled.
“We've got enough people to last us, well, forever,” Simon added.
“I kind of like the idea,” Sateen said. She tilted her chin upward and to the side, ready for Simon to make his move. “Suddenly everything seems so intimate,” she breathed.
Inara's mouth was set in a tight, thin line.
Let's get out of here
, she chatted me privately. She walked away so quickly it was practically a run. “I can't bear to watch that girl act like she's so special,” she said, out loud this time. Tiny black char marks began to dot her fluffy purple sweater. “Sateen was just a boring Single yesterday and she'll be a boring Single again tomorrow.”
I winced. Did Inara think I was just another boring Single, too? “We're headed to assembly, right?” I asked, changing the subject. Reminders about it were pinging all over the hallways. Notices scrolled bright across the wall in all caps, shouting for our attention.
“Yeah. I guess.”
We moved through the crowd. “Maybe they'll tell us news of the Real World,” I said. “Maybe that's what they want to talk to us about.”
Inara shrugged. “I'm sure your mother and sister are fine, Skye.”
I shook my head.
I wonder if they're dead
went my mind. I couldn't bear to actually speak those words.
But I didn't have to. My mind was open to chat with Inara, so she heard my thoughts. She spun around quickly, moving in front of me so I was forced to stop. People streamed by us. She put her hands on my shoulders and looked at me hard, her long blond hair lit up by the flashing announcements on the wall behind her. “The government is always being overly cautious. I bet there's nothing wrong in the Real World. Just some rebellious group the Prime Minister freaked out about.”
“You don't know that,” I said, uncomfortable. Inara's thumbs pushed against my collarbone. “I wish you did, but you don't.”
She sighed. “Aren't you even a
little
relieved you're off the hook? I mean, did you really want a whole year away
from the Apps? From the constant entertainment of being a voyeur? The Keepers barely even have electricity! They, like, use the sun or something archaic like that.”
“Do you really think I care whether I can download a pair of long legs for a few hours or watch Lacy Mills's every move if it means I'll never see my mother and sister again?” I shrugged off Inara's grip. “Without Service, I almost . . . I almost don't feel like I have a future. I'll never know what happened to my family.”
Inara's hands returned to her sides. “Skye, you're being melodramatic.”
“No, I'm not.” My voice filled the hall, sizzling with anger. The words sparked into the atmosphere like fireworks, then burned away. “Melodrama is exaggerated emotion. Do you really think I'm overreacting?” People were starting to stare. The skin on my hands was turning red. “My mother and sister might be dead!”
“Your mother and sister may have forgotten all about you by now,” Inara said. Her eyes widened as though even she couldn't believe these words had just come out of her mouth, my greatest fear tossed at me like it was nothing.
“How can you say that?” My voice took flight, the shock so intense that the words appeared in the atmosphere, flying about and bumping into the walls and other students, propelled by all that emotion. People had to duck.
“Shhhh!” Inara hissed. “You're making a scene.”
“My family could be in danger and that's what you're worried about?”
Inara smiled at Jackson, an ex of hers passing by, his eyebrows raised. “Lower. Your. Voice. Skylar.”
“You're embarrassed by me, aren't you? That of all the Singles, you have to be friends with the one who actually cares about unplugging. Who stupidly cares about the family that gave her up.”
“That's not true,” Inara said, her voice low and even. “You have no idea what your mother and sister are like after all this time. They might not be the same people you said good-bye to. Your future is
here
. In
this
world. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be.”
My breaths were rapid-fire. If I wasn't careful, I'd be consumed with rage like Adam was last night, and right in the middle of the school hallway. I conjured up images of ice and snow and felt a chill coursing through my code. My virtual skin became chapped, a web of dry white lines running through it. My stare turned cool on my friend. “You want me to move on as though this isn't a big deal. As though it's cause for celebration.”
Inara cocked her head. “Skye.” She sounded exasperated. She brushed away a snowflake that had slid down my cheek and onto her wrist. It melted when it hit the floor and disappeared into nothing. “Calm. Down.”
But I couldn't. Icicles formed in my hair, pointing into my scalp like tiny sharp knives. “Don't try to pretend
you're not mourning your imaginary future with Rain Holt,” I said, watching as Inara's mouth opened in shock. People halted midstride, suddenly rapt at the mention of this name. If it wasn't against school rules, someone would be transmitting our disagreement. Under Eighteens loved nothing more than a fight they could upload to the Cloud. “You were always so sure that of all the girls and boys who watched him, Rain would pick
you
out. Everything is always about
you
, Inara.”
Her eyes flashed. “Skye, stop,” she hissed. “Don't say something you'll regret.”
“You know what?” I looked around at the crowd that had gathered. Confetti dotted everyone's clothing. Streamers were laced through their hair. Celebration filled the atmosphere like a balloon expanding and threatening to suffocate me. I shook away the icicles from my limbs and they clattered to the floor, shattering upon impact. “It doesn't matter, Inara. I don't have anything else to lose.”
Then I turned on my heel and walked in the other direction.
“Skye!” Inara called after me, but I kept going.
I needed to get out of there. To be somewhere in the City and not stuck in the stale school building. But just as I reached the doors, an unauthorized chat broke into my mind, the words hovering and glowing a bright shiny green in my head.
Meeting, back room, Appless Bar, to discuss unplugging.
Tonight, one a
.
m
.
sharp. Come alone. Or you're virtually dead.
What?
My brain spun, dizzy from the invasion. I looked around, searching for the author of the message, but the halls had emptied. I waited a moment longer, but when no one appeared I pushed my way out into the bright light of the day.
ALL AFTERNOON I
wandered the City. People were Celebration Apping everywhere I turned, but I could think of nothing other than the unauthorized chat. Who could have sent it? How did they bypass the firewalls in my mind? How was it possible to unplug with the border closed? Why the threat?
And most of all: Would I go to the meeting?
Inara kept chatting me. At first she sounded angry.
You humiliated me
, she said.
That stuff about Rain was private. How would you like it if I went around telling people you've never had a boyfriend? That you've never kissed anybody outside of a Kissing App?
These mentions set my cheeks aflame and for a few moments my skin began to
char like the spots on Inara's sweater. But as the afternoon wore on, Inara's tone changed.
Look, I should have tried to be more understanding about your Real World family. Of course you're worried. I know you've been excited to unplug and see them. I'm sorry Service got canceled. Really. I am.
Even though I was tempted to respond, for once I ignored her.
Guilt rose in me again and snaked its way through my code. Was I being foolish? Maybe Inara was right, and the border closing was for the best. Even for me.
I rounded the corner and sat down on a bench. Tried to stop my brain from racing. Next to me, a man as big as a giant was towering over the trees of Main Park. A lot of people were walking on air. Kids played soccer in the middle of the street, but everyone was floating three feet above the ground. I watched as a group of Under Eighteens was in front of me one moment and gone the next as they disappeared into a game. A girl not much older than me transformed into a tall, skinny model before crossing the street and heading into an App bar.
I was about to chat Inara, to tell her I was sorry, when a memory flashedâor at least, I
thought
it was a memory. It came in bits and pieces. Lying in a bed. The faraway sound of waves crashing. A face peering at me from above. A curtain of long brown hair. Dark eyes blinking, full of
regret. Dark eyes set in a face that I knew, so familiar yet so strange.
“Jude?” I said out loud, as though my sister could hear me. As though she were with me in the App World, right now. She seemed . . . older than in my other memories.
Then her faceâand the memory with itâdisappeared.
A yearning deep and hungry gaped wide, as though it might swallow me.
I stood up from the bench and headed back to Singles Hall. Tonight, I would go to the meeting. Of course I would. How could I not? I didn't care if I had to go alone. If it got me to the Real World, it was worth the risk.
“Where'd you disappear to today?” a voice asked from behind me.
I turned. “Hi, Sateen.” I tried not to stare. “You look different.”
Sateen was leaning against the wall across from the entrance to Singles Hall. Or maybe she was using the wall to hold herself up. Unlike this morning, now she was tall and thin, her legs and arms long and lithe, her hips narrow, everything about her stretched and willowy except for her chest, which was bigger and rounder and almost spilling from her top. Her face was bright with makeup, purples and blues and sparkly silvers, her hair styled perfectly, her teeth gleaming white as she smiled. She looked ethereally beautifulâbeautiful and aloof and unreal.
“It's the Supermodel App,” she said with unmistakable pride, pushing off the wall. Even her walk was different, her hips swaying. On her way toward me she almost toppled over on her six-inch spiked heels. She caught herself before falling, grabbing the back of one of the chairs. “Don't I just look amazing?” she asked, her breaths quickening as she tried to straighten up, only to wobble again.
“Sure.” I crossed my arms, taking her in. Apparently, the grace to handle her new height had to be downloaded separately. “But how did you get enough capital for the Supermodel App?”
Sateen laughed, the sound like bells. Her long eyelashes fluttered and flashed. They were so long and thick I could feel a breeze. “How
didn't
you?” She tossed her hair like she had an audienceâand maybe she did. Voyeurs were prohibited in our dormitory rooms, but they could access the lounge, and Sateen had become a star among Singles this morning. “I got more free downloads today than I've had in my entire existence.”
“But the
Supermodel
App?” In all honesty, I was a little jealous. It's true, I preferred gaming, but sometimes a girl just wants to be beautiful for a few hours.
Sateen's fingers twitched, her manicured nails glittering. Something crossed her face. Sympathy, maybe. “I could share some of my downloads with you.” She called
up her personal App Store and the icons appeared, orbiting her like she was their sun. She raised her hand, and with one swipe of the air they swirled around her like stars. “Do you want to try on a new face for a while? Or download a celebrity boyfriend for the evening? A bunch of us are going out to celebrate at Crash Club. I was thinking of downloading a cute special someone to kiss myself.”
A part of me was touched by Sateen's generosity, but the rest was a little offendedâespecially by her offer to help me download a new face. “That's nice of you. But I'm staying in tonight,” I lied.
She shrugged. “Suit yourself. If you change your mind, I'll be in my room until we leave at midnight. Curfew's been lifted. You should take advantage.”
I smiled. Leaving the hall after midnight wouldn't be conspicuous then. Plenty of people would be out and about. “Sure.” I watched as Sateen sauntered away as gracefully as she could manage. “Maybe I will,” I called after her.
I never did chat Inara.
It was close to midnight when I appeared in the doorway of Sateen's room. She was lying on her bed, eyes wide open but unblinking, long supermodel arms and legs stretched out. Staying still was a way to slow the drain
of a download, prolonging an App's life. “Is that offer still open?” I asked her. Crash Club and Appless Bar were in the same direction. I'd decided the best way to get to my destination was to have a full Singles entourage. “I changed my mind about tonight.”
Sateen's eyelashes fluttered. Then her knee twitched. Slowly she came alive again and sat up. “That's great, Skye. We'll have fun.” She looked me up and down. “Let me at least offer you something for your hair. It's so . . . straight. Maybe a download for your face, too, so it isn't quite so plain?” She studied my eyes, my cheeks, my nose. She took a fistful of my hair into her hand, lifting it and letting it fall back to my head. “It's really limp.” Then her eyes traveled lower. “And I'm very happy with my Boob Enhancer. I think you should download one.” She laughed. “You could definitely use it.”
I laughed along with her, hoping she couldn't hear the false ring. Was I really that boring? “You're sweet,” I managed. “I didn't come here for a makeover, though. Just some company on the way to Crash Club.” Her lips formed a pout. “You can fix those things about me another time,” I added. “I promise.”
She extended a thin, delicate hand. “It's a deal.”
I took it, then checked the time. It was just after midnight. “Should we get going?”
“I suppose so.” Sateen grabbed a sequined clutch, called up a mirror hologram, and studied the second,
three-dimensional Sateen that appeared before us. Satisfied, she swept out of the room. Sateen seemed to have a better handle on walking in those heels now.
I trailed after her, trying not to feel as dull and ordinary as I must have looked.
“Come on, people!” Sateen called out to everyone in the lounge. She beckoned with a wave of her hand. At least twenty Singles joined us, most of them transformed by Appearance Apps that made the guys more broad shouldered and the girls thinner and blonder. Though no one looked as good as Sateen. “Isn't this so much fun?” She giggled as we made our way into the night and the City.
I had to take two steps for every one of Sateen's. Her legs were so long it was difficult to keep up. As we hurried down the sidewalk, I took in the scene around me. Other groups of Under Eighteens were reveling in the streets and spilling out along the sidewalks from the bars. Long black cars like Inara's slowly rolled down the boulevard. The Water Tower soon loomed above us, its needle pointing high into the heavens with a colorful blue glow. The urge to chat Inara was as intense as the guilt that wouldn't leave me alone.
But the message had been clear.
Come alone. Or you're virtually dead.
I slowed my pace, falling behind the group. No one noticed me pull back; they were too busy enjoying the feel
of so many Apps at once. Then I tossed aside any remaining doubt and slipped away from the group entirely.
Appless Bar was all the way on the other side of Main Park.
The iron gate at the park's entrance creaked loudly as I opened it. Sometimes the effort to make the virtual seem realistic was too well done for my taste. The metal was heavy and cold in my hands and slightly electric. A faint current ran through me until I let go. I looked around to make sure no one had seen me enter. The park was empty at this time of night, everything silhouetted in darkness. The trees were tall shadowy ghosts as I walked, their branches a web of long inky fingers. They reminded me of the Fright Night Apps Inara and I used to download because we liked being scared. We would always end up alone in a haunted wood where we'd have to escape terrible creatures with axes and sharp silver knives.
Empty benches formed a circle around the jungle gym where children played during the day. It was so quiet. Even my steps made no sound in the grass. The City lights glowed reassuringly along the park's perimeter, a reminder that life and other people were still close by.
For some reason, I found myself heading toward the swings. I sat down on one, and the second I closed my eyes a memory flooded my brain. It was different from the one I'd had earlierâlonger and more vivid. I was
moving through the air, pumping my legs. Swish. Swish. Swish. Everything rhythmic. Laughter rose in my throat as I leaned back, hair flying in the breeze. Then came the voice.
“Do you want to go higher, my love?”
“Higher! Higher,” I shouted.
My mother's hands were at my back, giving me a push.
“Be careful, Skylar!”
“Oh, she'll be fine,” said another voice, to my left.
As I flew through the air, I saw a girl, about my age now. “Jude!”
“What, Bean?”
“You're my sister.”
She laughed. “Of course I am. I hope I don't look like your brother!”
I kept trying to turn around so I could see my mother, but the momentum of the swing kept stopping me.
Skye? Are you awake?
chatted Inara into my brain.
“No,” I cried out.
The memory faded. I grasped at it again and again with my mind, not quite sure how I'd managed to access it in the first place. It was as though someone had flipped a switch inside me, turning the memory on, then turning it off again.
“What are you doing?” came a new voice.
My eyes flew open. I jumped up from the swing and turned. “Who's there?” I called into the darkness. I
searched for the voice's source, but I couldn't see a thing. I turned around again. Still nothing. “Show yourself,” I said into the darkness.
Someone stepped out from behind a tree trunk.
A boy. Taller than me, unaffected by any Apps. His curly black hair was clipped close to his head.
“Adam?”
He took a step closer. “What are you doing here, Skylar?”
My heart pounded but I kept my chin up. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“I don't need to give you a reason.”
“Yeah, well, I don't owe you one either.”
We stood there, facing off, neither of us budging.
A strange look crossed Adam's face. “You're going to Appless Bar,” he said. It was a statement, not a question.
The message repeated itself in my brain.
Come alone
.
Or you're virtually dead.
My body tensed. “I don't know what you're talking about.”
“You can't lie to me,” Adam said. “I know when people aren't being truthful.”
“What are you, a psychic?”
“No.” His voice was flat.
I reminded myself that it was just Adam. Someone I lived with. But when he took another step closer I took one back.
“You got the same message that I did,” he said.
“I told you, I don'tâ”
“Meeting, back room, Appless Bar, to discuss unplugging,” Adam recited. “Tonight, one a.m. sharp. Come alone. Or you're virtually dead.”
I opened my mouth. “How did youâ” I started, then stopped, midsentence. I came at Adam, arms flying, ready to fight. “You're the one who hacked my brain!”
He caught one of my arms, then the other, my wrists gripped in his hands. “Calm down. I didn't hack your brain,” he said. “I was headed to the meeting when I saw you on the swing.” Slowly, he let go of me. Waited to see if I'd try to hit him again. “We should go or we're going to be late.” Adam started off but when I didn't follow, he turned back. “Come on. We may as well go together.”
“Why should I trust you?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Who else do you know who got the message?”
This quieted me. Like it or not, he was right about that part. “It said to come alone,” I reminded him.
“Yeah. So? I'm choosing to interpret that as
don't show up with anyone who didn't get this message.
” Adam started off again.
Still unsure, I joined him. We walked in silence, side by side. Soon we passed through the gates on the other side of the park, the City blindingly bright after so much darkness. The mood over here was more subdued, the
neighborhood not as vibrant. More run-down than on the west side.