Tyler O’Neill’s Redemption (22 page)

“Is that normal?” Miguel asked.

Juliette smiled, her heart twisting in her chest. “I imagine she’s got a lot of catching up to do,” she said. “I doubt she’s slept well in a long time. It’s kind of like you and eating.” She glanced sideways at the boy, who was systematically eating her out of house and home. She needed to keep up the chatter. The distraction. Because she was driving out to see Tyler. To talk to him.

It felt as though her body might explode from her seething, battling emotions. From her worry that the second she saw him she’d collapse into tears, begging him to tell her why he’d lied. Begging him to take her back.

But it would be a mistake. She knew that. He hadn’t changed; he might not be able to. Tyler O’Neill might just be the best bad boy out there. A heart full of good intentions, but a nature more prone to destruction.

She hated to think it. Didn’t want to believe it. But it had been proven time and time again.

“Juliette?” Miguel asked. “When do we go back to my dad?”

Juliette whirled to face him. “What? Why? Do you want to go back? Do you not like it at my house?”

“No,” Miguel assured her quickly. “We love it there, but I figure we need to get ready for going back.”

Juliette pulled over to the side of the road, unaware that Miguel was so misinformed about his circumstances. “Your dad is in jail,” she told him. “Until the trial. And after that, I imagine the court will rule to take you two away from him.”

“So, what happens when I’m eighteen?” he asked with a careful smile that set her body buzzing.

“You can appeal to be made guardian of your sister or…” She stopped. She hadn’t really thought about this, and putting words to these very thin and delicate ideas seemed foolish. Too early.

“What?”

“Well, after the trial you’ll be a ward of the state, and as long as you like it there, and I like you there, and we keep passing the home inspections, you can stay at my house.”

“That’s good.” Miguel seemed to be reading her hesitation the wrong way. “Isn’t it?”

“It is, Miguel. It’s really good. I’m so happy you guys are in my house. But what are you going to do when you’re eighteen?”

“I’ll get a job or something, I guess. An apartment for me and Louisa?”

“What about college or learning some kind of trade? You can’t do that and take care of your sister at the same time. And what if one of you gets sick? You should have help, Miguel. Eighteen might seem like a grown-up, but you’re still a kid. And you should get to have the chance to be a kid.”

Miguel shook his head at her, his face blank. “I’m not following, Chief.”

“I could adopt you,” she blurted, and squeezed her eyes shut. “I could adopt you both.”

The quiet in the car was long and deep and finally she looked over at him. He stared at her, mouth hanging open, eyes wide.

“You kidding?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“You saying this ’cause you feel bad for me? You think I can’t take care of Louisa?”

He was so defensive, ready to fight the world for his sister, and she just couldn’t admire the kid more. “I think you can take care of you sister just fine. I just want someone…” She paused. “I want to take care of you, Miguel.”

Miguel turned to stare out the window and she didn’t know what he was thinking. If this was good. Or bad. If he was insulted.

“Think about it, okay?” she finally said, wondering if she’d just made a huge mistake. “Just think about it.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything, and after a moment she started the car again and continued to drive out to the build site.

Surveyors were putting up flags, marking the areas where the individual houses would be built, and men were climbing into little Bobcats and diggers, getting ready to level the land for the concrete pour.

It was busy. Really busy. And in the middle of it all was Tyler. An unforeseen conductor. A surprise leader.

The second she drove up, Tyler—wearing a hard hat and those perfect jeans that made her body sweat—turned away from the men he’d been talking to and approached the car.

Her heart thundered in her chest.

“Hey, Tyler!” Miguel said, hurtling out of the car be fore she even had it in Park. “Sorry I wasn’t here on Monday—”

“It’s okay,” Tyler said, clapping Miguel on the shoulder. Juliette could see the emotion in Tyler’s eyes, the relief and the love he felt for that boy. She had to look away, his visible emotions tearing at her walls, her carefully crafted distance.

“I’m glad you’re here today,” Tyler said to Miguel. “You ready to work?” Miguel nodded.

“Attaboy. Go see Derek over there and he’ll get you set up.”

Miguel was off like a shot. Tyler watched him go and then slowly, turned to face Juliette.

He ducked, smiling when he saw Louisa in the backseat.

“It worked. They’re with you now,” he said, clearly relieved, and she knew she should have called him earlier. To thank him. To tell him that everyone was safe. But she’d been a coward for two weeks, scared of what other things she might have said. What might have tumbled out of her mouth.

She got out of the car. “I should have called—”

He waved her off. “You don’t owe me anything,” he said. “I’m just glad it worked out. Everyone’s doing all right?”

She nodded, words completely beyond her.

“Good,” he said. “That’s…good.”

They both looked out at the work and Juliette was stunned to see her father out there holding one of the surveyor flags.

“Is that my dad?” she asked.

“I couldn’t believe it, either,” Tyler said, “but a few days ago he came out here saying he wanted to work.”

“With you?”

“He doesn’t talk to me, but every once in a while he’ll nod. Yesterday he told me to have a good night.” Tyler shrugged. “He didn’t tell you?”

Juliette reeled. Her father? And Tyler? She felt the need to check the sky for flying swine.

“No,” she said. “He didn’t.”

If he can do it,
a small voice whispered in the back of her head.
So can you.

“You’re still staying?” she asked.

“Lots of work to do.”

She glanced up at Tyler only to find him watching her. His smile was the saddest thing she’d ever seen. Hopeless. Lost. And she wanted to have a hard heart, she wanted to be unaffected, but it was impossible. Part of Tyler O’Neill lived under her skin and she would never be impervious.

The truth was, she understood why he lied. How in his head it was all right. He was protecting the people he loved in the only way he knew how. With secrets and deceit and self-sacrifice.

It was wrong, but everything he did, he did because he loved her, the knowledge seeping through the bedrock of her anger.

A light went on in her head. Her heart.

Tyler O’Neill just needed to be shown a different way to love.

He wasn’t that different from Miguel—scared of the unknown and making decisions out of fear. Betrayed by people who should love him.

The battle in her turned and sharpened and now she was fighting for him. For him to see her, really see her, and understand that she stood in front of him a whole person.

“I don’t need protecting,” she said, and his eyes, electric in their intensity, swung to her.

“You’re the toughest, strongest woman I know, Juliette. I was stupid to think you needed me to protect you.”

“And I don’t need you making decisions for me.”

He nodded. “I won’t make that mistake again.”

“You told me you wanted to show me the best of yourself,” she said.

“I did,” he said. “I do.”

“I want to do the same,” she said, feeling as though she was in midair, suspended between trust and doubt. Between her wants and her fears.

She thought of her father, alone in that big house that used to know love. Doubt and mistrust had been Jasper’s roommates, his only friends.

That could be her one day. She knew it. A few years from now, and she could still hold this grudge against Tyler. She could still see only the hurt he’d caused her and never pay any attention to why.

But Jasper had found his way out of that house.

And Tyler was the key.

If there was one thing Miguel had shown her, it was that context was everything. Circumstances mattered. And Tyler’s context was complicated.

There was a light in Tyler, dim right now, but growing brighter every moment. It was Tyler as he should be.

Noble and good. Human, but trying to rise above the worst of himself.

I can do that, too,
she thought, inspired by his beauty, his courage and his effort.
I want to do that.

“I want to show you the best of myself, too, but I don’t know what that is,” she said, the truth actually hard to say. “All I’ve done is doubt you—”

“For good reason, Juliette. Christ, I’ve hurt you and lied—”

“You keep absolving me of guilt,” she said, “like I’ve had no part in what’s happened to us. Like I’ve done nothing wrong, and that’s not true. Priscilla told me that I wanted to believe the best in you but couldn’t get past the worst, and she’s right. The second things went south, I doubted you. And I
was
interrogating you that day at The Manor. And maybe you lied because I never really showed you how much I trusted you.”

His eyes went wide. “I don’t blame you, Juliette.”

“Tyler.” She couldn’t help but smile, and once she did, tears bit hard into her eyes. Love filled her heart. “I know you don’t. But maybe you should blame me a little more and yourself a little less.”

She reached out for his hand, lacing her fingers through his. Pressing her palm to his, she felt every callus. Every heartbeat.

He clutched at her hand, his strength taking her breath away. “Let’s go slow,” she whispered. “Take our time.”

“Where are we going?” he asked, pulling her in closer, winding the fingers of his other hand through hers, until they stood there, smiling at each other, holding hands as if the world might tear them apart any moment.

“Anywhere,” she whispered. “I’ll go anywhere as long as I’m with you.”

But still, she looked in the shadows under the grand cypress in the back courtyard for Tyler.

Because no amount of happiness was enough if Tyler wasn’t there.

She found him, sprawled in a chair, his shirt half-unbuttoned.

“Hey, baby,” he said, his voice liquid like his hand on her back, fingers down her spine, and she smiled. “Where are the kids?”

“Margot let them have the sleeping porch. They’re out cold.”

He held out his hand to pull her into his lap and she went willingly, though she rearranged herself to straddle his thighs.

“Well, well,” he said, his half smile the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. He wrapped his arms around her hips and pulled her closer.

Juliette lay into him, her face in his neck breathing in the warm spice that was Tyler.

“Miguel told me he wants to go on with the emancipation paperwork,” she said. The trial had been last week and Ramon was going to jail. Emancipation was the first step toward adoption.

“What?” he asked, pushing her away slightly so he could look into her eyes. “Really?”

She nodded.

“That is good news,” he whispered, his voice gruff.

In that moment she made her decision. Or rather, she pushed her mind out of the equation and let her heart lead the way.

A month ago, she would never have expected to do this. But over the past three weeks, she’d come to realize just what kind of man Tyler was.

The best kind of man.

“I love you,” she said. “Have I told you that?”

“Not enough,” he said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Have I told you you have a great butt?”

She laughed, she kept laughing until she couldn’t stop the tears.

“Hey,” he said, lifting her up so he could see her face, wipe away her tears. “Come on now, what’s this?”

“I’m happy, Tyler,” she said. “I’m so happy.”

“That’s great, Jules. Me, too.”

“I’ve changed my mind,” she said.

“About what?” he asked.

She licked her lips, thinking she needed to gather her courage, her belief and trust. But it was simply right there. Everything she felt for Tyler was so much a part of the happiness she felt, and she knew that this moment, all the moments ahead with Miguel and Louisa, were only possible because of him.

“I don’t want to go slow,” she said. “Not anymore.”

“We can go faster,” he said, his hands sliding up over her hips.

“Tyler.” She put her hands on his, stopping him.

His eyes met hers and it took a moment, but he clued in and his slow smile revealed the future.

And it was perfect.

“I don’t want to adopt those children without you,” she said. “I can’t imagine being a family if you’re not in it.”

His head snapped back as if she’d slapped him and then tears welled up in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” he whispered, his face twisted between doubt and joy and she clapped her hands to his face.

“I couldn’t be more sure of anything in my life,” she said emphatically.

“Marry me,” he said.

“I thought you’d never ask.”