True North Book 3 - Finding Now Kate and Sam (19 page)

“SAM!” She shouted, locking eyes with mine. “OH MY GOD!

“Come in my mouth, Kate,” I said against her hot, wet flesh. “Oh, how you need this.”

She closed her eyes and moaned deeply, arching her back against the soft white sheets and pressing her head back into the pillow.

“Oh, baby.” I sucked her clit relentlessly now.

“I’m gonna … I’m …” she whimpered.

“Fuck, yes. Let me release you.” I stretched her apart a little further.

I reached up and got her nipple between my thumb and forefinger and squeezed.

Kate screamed and her legs began to shudder and shake. I felt her swell under my tongue and in a moment she was soaring over that perfect cliff.

I held myself there as she rode it out. She massaged her nails over my scalp.

“My senses are filled with you,” I said. Every bit of me was frenzied! “My mind, my body, my soul, my heart … between my legs; I want every part of you, Kate Jolie.” 

“I give it to you. Take it,” she cried.

I worked off my jeans and started to pull a condom out of my wallet, but she stopped me, saying quietly, “I’m on the pill. Do you think …?”

“I haven’t been in a serious relationship for years and since then I’ve always used condoms. I’ve been tested. I’m clean.”

“I was tested at all my hospital stays,” she said. “I haven’t been with anyone since I was nineteen.”

Nineteen,
I thought sadly and remembered her words,
I haven’t touched another human being intimately since …
I was going to change that forever. I climbed back up on the bed, completely naked above her. “Perfect. All I want to do is become one with you, no barriers, nothing between us ever. Just you and me.”

“Ever …” she whispered. “I want the same thing.” I noticed an edge of shyness to her voice and before I knew it, she had me in her hands, tickling the length of my cock with her fingers from the base to the head. I threw my head back and let the sensations overtake me. “Oh, Kate …”

For just a moment she stopped. When I opened my eyes I watched as she put her fingers in her mouth to get them wet before she glided them around the neck of my dick, alternating tickling with a rougher pulling.

“That feels fucking amazing, but you’ve got to stop or you’ll make me come right now,” I growled.

She smiled guiltily and caught her pouty bottom lip between her teeth.

“Yeah, you know what you’re doing to me.” I smiled back. “But now I want you to lay back and spread your legs for me.”

She obeyed as I rubbed the head of my penis over her clit, stimulating her again before I swirled it just outside her opening. She was so soaking wet.

Christ, I was going to lose control!
“I have to bury myself inside of you,” I said huskily, my voice full of desire as I pressed the head of my very hard shaft against her entrance.

“Oh, do it!” she begged.

My eyes hooded with the sheer pleasure of her sensual voice.

I opened her slit so I wouldn’t hurt her. I wanted this experience to be so mind-blowing she’d beg for more.

“Oh, god, yes. I need you inside of me now, Sam,” she pleaded.

At the sound of my name coming off her lips, so sexy and desperate, I couldn’t hold myself back any longer. Carefully, I pushed myself inside of her, letting her sweet tight walls take me in as I felt them stretch to accommodate me. I filled her slowly, inch by perfect fucking inch and felt her magnificent fire surround my cock with delicious heat.

A startled sound escaped her throat as she gazed up at me with lust-hazed eyes, on the verge of another climax already. It was my turn to moan loudly as her muscles squeezed tightly around me.

“Oh, God, you’re so perfect, Kate.” I pulled out slowly and then pushed back inside, feeling every ridge of her velvet walls as she swallowed me whole into her own body.

I laid myself over her, loving the soft warmth of her skin and the feel of our bodies sliding together, and set my forehead against hers as I found a sweet pulsing rhythm.

“You feel too fucking good.” I smiled with lust and love as our two bodies became one.

“Sam …” she cried out.

“Oh, baby … let yourself go.”

She looked up at me breathlessly.

Watching her gorgeous face lose all her rigid control drove me to the edge. I pounded into her with hard, fast movements until she was screaming and thrashing beneath me. I could feel her walls quiver as she rose toward another climax.

“Oh, please! Oh, yes, Sam! Don’t stop!
Oh my God,
don’t stop!”

I tilted her hips just a bit so I could hit the deepest space inside of her and, in powerful unison, we both came together.

Chapter Fourteen

“She Will Be Loved”

Maroon 5

Kate

Afterward, I couldn’t stop the fierce emotions that came crashing over me. It was like everything I’d ever gone through had built up and culminated, to be released and explode like an atom bomb at that very moment. I curled into Sam’s arms as I sobbed again. Every emotion I’d worked so hard to numb all these years came rushing in like a tidal wave to break my carefully placed levees.

“I miss him so much, Sam. I miss my brother!”

“Of course you do, baby.”

“I’m so sorry, Ethan,” I cried out.

“He knows, Kate, he knows. He loves you too and forgives you.” Sam rocked me.

“I loved him and nothing will ever be the same again without him,” I sobbed.

“I know,” his voice soothed. “You’ll always feel that loss, but I think as you let yourself open up, you’ll find ways to fill the empty space and keep him alive inside of your heart in a positive way. I know that would be my biggest wish if it were my sister. I’d want her to do the things that made her happiest and hope that she’d feel me in those moments … and maybe that’s when I’d feel her back.”

My eyes closed at the depth of what he’d said. 

“How did you get to be so smart?” I whimpered. No one had ever put it that way before.

He just shrugged his shoulders and smoothed back my hair.

“Surfing. That was my thing, our thing. I loved it; the feel of the wild, untamable ocean beneath my board. Ethan and I would sit out there for hours watching the changing colors on the horizon, or the dolphins playing, or the shadows of sharks swimming under our boards, which would freak us out.” I smiled at the memory. “One time a great white almost twenty feet long swam up underneath us. I swear to God we just held our breaths, hoping he wouldn’t notice us, and when he was gone Eth just looked up at me—his eyes were huge—and he shouted, ‘HOLY FUCKING SHIT!’ and we both burst out laughing.” I laughed now, just remembering his face. “I was being groomed for professional surfing. That was my dream, Sam.” I sniffed back tears, and Sam slid his hands under the hair at the nape of my neck and brought my face to his as he kissed each tear that streaked my cheeks. I closed my eyes, letting his tenderness wash over me.

“When Ethan died, every dream I had died with him. A couple of months after the accident, my mom pressed me to get back out there on the waves. I didn’t want to, but when I considered it more, I thought it might bring me peace and be a place of escape.” I dropped my voice low. “But it wasn’t anymore. I couldn’t feel him. It hurt so much, I couldn’t make my mind work. And I ached. I felt trapped inside of myself. I tried to pretend, pretend he was a part of it, pretend he was still there with me, but … there was only the most complete and utter silence.

“That’s the day I took out my fury on a metal dumpster and realized the only relief I felt was in my own physical pain. That day was the first time I was carted off to the psych ward, my hands all bloody. They wrapped them, and I hated them for it. They strapped me down until their meds made me a fucking zombie. When they let me out, I learned that if I sliced my flesh, it made me hurt physically and released some of that agony inside of me that I couldn’t get out. And honestly, it felt good to bleed, because he had bled.

“Living in California, shorts and t-shirts were normal attire. So I cut my thighs. And no one found out, until I went too far and nicked an artery in my left leg. I knew I’d done it when it happened. It was sort of on purpose and sort of an accident. But since it had happened I wasn’t about to stop it. I figured I’d finally see for myself exactly where Ethan went.”

Sam closed his eyes and looked like he could feel my agony. “What happened?”

“My dad found me, hospitals and soul-sucking headshrinks became a part of my life, and it was either do or die—or stay in a mental home. The only way I could cope was to stop living for me and live for Ethan instead. I sunk myself into university work and did nothing else.” I thought for a moment. “Ethan and I were both born with wild streaks and we loved to party. It was just another part of the Cali surfing scene. Drinking by a beach bonfire, rowdy music and late nights that made my mom and dad crazy. I walked away from everything I knew and stripped away anything that made me feel: music, books, TV, movies. I couldn’t go near them because if there was one thing I knew, it was that feeling was deadly. So, a six year doctorate degree program took me four. It was his dream to work in renewable energies and change the world. I thought … if I did it for him … I don’t know, maybe … maybe I could make up for what I’d done.”

Sam held me closer as we lay quietly, wrapped up tightly together in the dark of my little apartment.

“Thank you, Sam.”

“For what?” he asked softly.

“This is the first time I’ve really felt alive since it happened,” I admitted. “And I know it’s because of you.”

“This is all you, Jolie. You just needed a hand to hold.” As he said this, he laced his long fingers in between mine and brought my hand to his lips. “I know I must’ve looked like a real asshat that first time you met me, checking out your ass and hitting on you like I did. In my defense, it is a rather magnificent ass.”

I laughed lightly.

He kissed each of my fingers slowly. “But I need to tell you something. I’ve fallen hard for you. I don’t want to scare you away or take this thing between us faster or further than you want it to go—and hell you may not want it to go anywhere, you may just want to use me for a while as your own personal sex doll …”

I laughed again and he smiled behind my hand.

“But you have to know, I won’t be the one to walk away or let you go. Anything you want, I’ll give it to you, and anything you need me to be, I’ll be it.” He kissed the back of my hand then turned it over so my palm was up when he pressed his warm lips into the center of it. “I’m very much in love with you, Kate Jolie.”

My eyes closed in relief.

“Are you okay?” he asked quickly. “Did I say the wrong thing?”

I smiled through new tears. “No, you said everything right. I think I’ve loved you since the moment you leaned yourself against my desk trying to get me to go for coffee.”

“Ah, I knew I’d break you down.” He went back to kissing my fingers.

“I just knew how messed up I was …”

“Baby, all I’ve ever seen in you is the most amazing woman I’ve ever known and I’m so fucking grateful that you chose me to be with you.”

“Amazing?” I balked.

He used his finger to tip my chin up so I’d have to look at him. “Kate, you’re pure strength and emotion, and the way you love is powerful, raw and real. And you may have thought you could sneak by everyone in those plain suits with your hair up tight and no makeup, but even then you still shined bright.”

I tangled my hands behind his head and brought his fiery lips to my mouth, kissing him ardently.

When our lips parted I said, “Thank you for that.”

“Thank
you
for
that
,” he said, referring to the kiss.

“You woke me up, Sam. I was in a coma I couldn’t escape by myself,” I confessed, looking into his eyes. “You brought me back to life.”

“Well, you are a princess.” He stroked my cheek.

“Then that makes you my prince.”

“I can be that,” he said completely seriously.

“Where do you want to take this … this thing we have together?” I finally asked.

“Are you asking me?” He lifted his eyebrows.

I used my index finger to “ring” his lip ring and said, “Yes, I’m asking you.”

“Baby, you shouldn’t do that unless you want to go again, because you doing that completely turns me on.”

“Then I’ll have to make sure I do it often,” I flirted back. “Are you going to answer the question?”

“I don’t want to scare you away.”

“You won’t scare me away.”

“Okay, Jolie, you asked.” He took my hands in his and settled his eyes on mine. “I want you all to myself. Every part of you; your mind, your body—definitely your body—and your soul. I’m not willing to share you with anyone else. I want to be the one to make you laugh every day. I want to be the one to fill your life with adventures and stories. I want to be the one who makes sure you dance in the rain, go to the movies, see new places, listen to music, wear the clothes you like and get laid … especially that part.” He smiled for a second before he got serious again. “You’re the last thing I want to see at night and the first thing I want to wake up to every day. I want to know you like I’ve never known anyone else. I want you to be the one who always stays.” He pressed his lips together for a moment before revealing, “My heart, body and soul are already yours. They have been since that night on Kells’ roof. This is all new territory to me, Kate. I never expected you. My whole purpose for living now is making you healed and happy and watching you smile every fucking day, knowing I’m the one responsible for it.”