This Heart of Mine (70 page)

When Skye managed to recover from her surprise, she said, “Why is she not with you, Velvet?”

“Because her father and Uncle Michael would not let me bring her. Uncle Michael feared that Alex would never accept my bearing another man’s child. My lord Akbar said that Yasaman was all he had left of our love, and he would not allow me to take our daughter from him. They were quite agreed, if for different reasons.”

Skye nodded mutely, understanding but suffering for her beloved child, who was obviously in great pain over the loss of her own daughter, even if she hid it behind a calm and brittle exterior.

“How did you do it, Mama? How did you manage when you were my age to run your own life without interference? If there is a way, I want to know it, for never again will I allow anyone, man or woman, to rule
my
life! I will be mistress of my own fate, for I can live no other way,” Velvet declared.

Skye sighed deeply. “I could tell you to grasp your destiny by the throat, Velvet, and in a way that would be true, but the real answer lies in my wealth. Wealth is power for a woman of independent spirit. But in the end everyone must answer to a higher authority. My authority has been Elizabeth Tudor.”

“She has used you shamefully, Mama.”

“And she has paid a high price for it, Velvet. The queen has had to answer to England all these years. I have served this English queen, but never have I been subservient to her.”

Velvet nodded, fully understanding her mother’s words. “I think I am rich,” she said, “although I have never bothered to learn about trading and investments as Willow has. I have brought back from India jewelry worth a king’s ransom. Those jewels, however, I shall not sell. They will be returned to India one day for my daughter when she is married. Akbar, however, did send with me certain items which I believe should make me a wealthy woman.”

“What are they?” Skye was frankly curious.

“There are five trunks of spices, one each of peppercorns, cinnamon sticks, nutmegs, cloves, and cardamoms; as well as
three caskets of gems, one of Indian Ocean pearls, one of Ceylon sapphires, and the third of rubies, some of which come from Mogok and some from a mine near Kabul. I want to sell these things. Will they make me a rich woman, Mama?”

Skye nodded slowly. “Yes, my darling, they will make you quite respectably rich in your own right. The market for spices is, because of the Portuguese monopoly, quite high here in England. Spices are very much in demand. As for the jewels you have brought back, I will have to see them, of course, but your gems come from mines that are considered the best. Lord Akbar obviously held you in great esteem.”

“We loved one another, Mama. He is like no man that I have ever known.” She then ducked her head beneath the bath water and, coming back up, began to wash her hair.

Skye bit her lip. Her child was hurting, and there was nothing she could do to ease that hurt. In time, of course, the pain would lessen, but right now the wound was much too fresh. How was Velvet going to receive Alexander Gordon? Skye knew that she was going to have to send for him within the next day or two.

Finishing her bath, Velvet climbed from the tub and wrapped herself in a large towel. Seating herself by the fire, she began to dry her hair. “I do not want Alex to know that I possess great wealth. He will claim it for himself, and then I shall be powerless against him. Will you help me, Mama?”

“Yes, my darling, but I will aid you only if you promise me you will do nothing rash or foolish. Come what may, you are married to the Earl of BrocCairn, and unless he seeks to annul your union you will remain married to him until death. I know about the rash act that led to your separation. There is blame on both sides, and as Alex must accept his responsibility in this matter, so must you. Then you must both put the past behind you and start afresh, Velvet.”

“Does he really want me back, Mama?” She took up a hairbrush and began brushing her damp tresses.

“I believe so. He is hurt, and he is angry, but he might have sought an annulment before this, which he hasn’t done. I have not seen him since your uncle left for England some months ago. He has written me on several occasions inquiring as to the status of our search, but never has he suggested ending your marriage. I will send a messenger to him first thing tomorrow morning.”

“So soon, Mama?”

“We’re going to leave for
Queen’s Malvern
tomorrow, Velvet. The word of your return will be quickly around court
circles, and I do not want you to have to face the gossips until you and Alex have settled your differences. Besides, I believe the country is a better place for you to recuperate. It will take our messenger at least five days, riding at top speed, to reach
Dun Broc.
Then it will take Alex time to return with him. I do not expect you will have to see your husband for two weeks.”

“It does not seem so long,” Velvet replied.

“There is something that you should know, Velvet, and I do not want you to become angry when I tell you. When Alex was wounded, he was carried to the house of one Peter Wythe, a silversmith. Master Wythe had a daughter. I don’t know how it happened, but Alanna Wythe became Alex’s mistress. I thought to separate them by sending him home to Scotland, but he took her with him. She is at
Dun Broc
now.”

Velvet laughed bitterly. “He did not wait long to replace me in his bed, Mama, did he? Does he love her?”

“That is something that you will have to ask him yourself, Velvet, but I doubt it. Men seldom really love their mistresses. They consider them playthings and secretly hold them in contempt.”

“Is that how Geoffrey Southwood felt about you when you were his mistress, Mama?”

“Velvet! Where on earth did you ever hear such a thing?” Skye demanded.

“Don’t forget, Mama, that I spent some months at court while you were away. There were those who couldn’t wait to tell me of your adventures while you were young.”

“I am not yet old,” Skye retorted dryly. “Very well, Velvet, certain men love their mistresses more than their highborn wives. I do not believe, however, that this is the case with Alex.”

“Then why is she still with him, Mama? Frankly I hope he is in love with her. Then perhaps he will free me, and I can return to the man I love and our daughter.” Velvet stood up and shrugged the towel from her body. Her auburn hair was now dry, and it billowed about her shoulders. Walking to the bed, she donned the simple nightshift that was laid out and climbed into bed.

Skye plumped the goose-down pillows behind her daughter’s back in motherly fashion and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Have you cried any?” she asked Velvet.

“Would crying change all of this, Mama? Would crying bring me my little Yasaman? Tears are a waste of time.”

“Tears help to wash your pain from your soul, my darling.”

“No, Mama. The pain will keep me strong when Alex attempts to weaken me with his bullying.”

“Oh, Velvet, was your marriage to Alex that awful? I never meant that you should marry him unless you really wanted to. The betrothal was to please your father, but even he agreed that if, when you were grown, you did not suit, the match would be called off. I had hoped that perhaps you would love him.”

“I thought that I did, Mama, but still we fought constantly from the moment that we met.” “About what?”

“Everything! Anything!” Velvet smiled softly, but then her mouth grew grim again. “He does not know how to treat a woman, Mama. I was forever reminding him that I was not one of his dogs or his horses to be ordered about. Sometimes I thought that he was beginning to learn, but then we would be back to the old ‘I am the master and you’re merely my wife.’ I cannot live under such domination.”

“Was not the lord Akbar a dominating man?” Skye inquired.

“Not with me. He said that all the women he had ever known were fawning creatures who would not dream of questioning anything he either said or did. I was the first, he said, the very first woman who ever challenged him. He talked with me a great deal about his conquests, of religion, of his eldest son, Salim, who was so rebellious and resentful that his father still ruled when he wanted to seize the kingdom for himself. My lord Akbar said that actually his younger son, Prince Daniyal, was better suited to rule, but Daniyal is a drunkard. He loves wine more than power.”

Skye was fascinated. Velvet had obviously captured Akbar’s heart that he would unburden himself to her, speaking with her as he would an equal. “You loved him very much, didn’t you, my darling?”

“I shall always love him,” Velvet said quietly.

“You must try and rekindle your love for Alex, Velvet. That is obviously your fate or you would not be here now. Once when I was your age and very mutinous about the way life had treated me, my dear friend, Osman the Astrologer, told me that I must not fight against my fate; that what was ordained would be even if I did not like it. It took me a long time to realize the truth of his words. You and Alex have been through a trying time. You have each coped in your own fashion, but now, however, fate has ordained you be reunited. Don’t fight your fate, Velvet. Give your marriage a chance.”

Before Velvet could reply, the bedchamber door opened and Daisy came in bearing a tray. “Welcome home, Mistress Velvet. I thought you might want a bite before you go off to sleep.” She placed a tray containing a small bowl of clear broth, a plump capon wing, some fresh bread, a slice of runny Brie, and a fat peach upon Velvet’s lap.

“Thank you, Daisy! I think I actually am hungry, and I have not had Brie in so long!”

“It is I who should be thanking you, Mistress Velvet!” Daisy had tears in her eyes as she turned to Skye. “She saved my Pansy’s life, m’lady! She nursed her herself when Pansy got ill in that heathen land. Pansy could have lost her life, and that of little Dugie, had it not been for Mistress Velvet.” Daisy looked again at her mistress’s daughter. “God bless you, Mistress Velvet!”

Velvet flushed. “Oh, Daisy! Pansy makes much ado over little. Her pregnancy was advanced, and the fierce heat of India bothered her. I just saw that she was comfortable and had enough to drink. I didn’t even know she was enceinte.”

“I know what Pansy told me, m’lady. I won’t ever forget it either, Mistress Velvet.” Then Daisy bobbed a curtsy to the two women and departed.

“What really happened?” asked Skye, intrigued. She was beginning to see her daughter in a somewhat new light.

“The heat disagreed with Pansy to the point where her legs grew swollen, and she couldn’t walk. She was unconscious, and the caravan master wanted to leave her behind. I couldn’t understand his language, and he didn’t understand me, but his meaning was very plain. I bribed him with my gold mirror, the one on the chain that Papa gave me for my tenth birthday. In return, he allowed Pansy to ride in one of the baggage carts, and I was able to care for her until we reached Fatehpur-Sikri where my lord Akbar’s physician took over.”

“How on earth did you ever get the caravan master to understand you?” Skye questioned.

“I drew a map in the dirt with a road that ended in a city. I placed the mirror by my drawing of the city. The chain I gave him immediately to show my good faith,” replied Velvet.

Skye shook her head. “That, my darling, was very, very clever! You did indeed save Pansy’s life and that of her little son. I am so proud of you, my daughter. Now use that same brave spirit to heal the breach in your marriage with Alexander Gordon.”

Velvet sighed and pushed her tray aside. She had eaten every crumb of food and felt enormously better. Now, however,
all she wanted was to sleep. “Let me go home to
Queen’s Malvern
, Mama, and catch my breath for a little bit. You have said yourself that Alex will not be there for at least two weeks.”

Skye stood up and, taking the tray, bent for a moment to kiss her daughter’s cheek. “Good night, my love. I am so glad that you are home again!” Then she left the room.

Raising herself up, Velvet blew out the bedside candle, leaving only the light from the dying fire to brighten the room.
Home
, she thought, leaning back upon the pillows. Where is my home? Certainly not with my parents any longer. Nor with my beloved Akbar in my dear little white palace in Lahore or my beautiful, airy marble palace in Kashmir. Is my home at
Dun Broc
with Alex? Dear God, the very name sounds so harsh.
Dun Broc.
Is my place there? She sighed. I don’t have to think about it for at least two weeks, and, she decided, I won’t.

By midmorning the following day, Greenwood had been closed, and the de Marisco family was on their way to their estate near Worcester. Joan O’Flaherty was already there with her children waiting to greet her husband, Murrough, and the returning Velvet. Willow and James along with their family, Deirdre, John, and their children, and Padraic would all be at
Queen’s Malvern
, Skye told Velvet.

“What of Robin and Angel? Gracious! I have not even asked about Angel’s baby! Was it a boy?”

“Angel has borne Robin two sons.” Skye laughed. “The first was born on the fourteenth of May two years ago. In accordance with the queen’s wish he was christened Geoffrey. Their second son, John, was born just two weeks ago, which is why they cannot come to
Queen’s Malvern
right now. Angel is still recovering from the birth, and the baby is over young to travel. Deirdre had another son last year. His name is Peter. The biggest surprise of all, however, is Willow. She and James had a daughter last year. Little Johanna.”

“Willow had another baby?” Velvet was astounded. “She always said five was quite enough.”

Skye chuckled. “It was very much a surprise to her. In the beginning she showed none of the usual signs of a woman with child, and when she finally realized what her ‘illness’ was, she didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Johanna, however, is a lovely child.”

“How fortunate my sisters and sisters-in-law are,” Velvet said softly.

Adam reached out and patted his daughter’s hand. “Don’t
grieve, poppet. You will have other children.” Skye had told him the previous night of Velvet’s little daughter, Yasaman.