The Ugly One (15 page)

19

S
UMAC
and I found the emperor's entourage just as they were preparing to start the day's travels. I approached cautiously, aware that all my hopes could be ruined at this critical moment. It wasn't uncommon for people to join a group of travelers, even one that included the emperor himself. But the ruler could send anyone away if he so chose, and my face was more than enough reason for him to reject my presence.

There was much commotion as the people packed from the night and prepared to leave. I guessed there to be perhaps thirty in all, but the emperor was nowhere to be seen. Eight men in official patterned clothes moved about a litter, a structure with a wooden base and ceiling surrounded by beautiful hanging cloth. These men were called the feet of the emperor. They carried him in the litter, mounted on poles resting on their shoulders, so he wouldn't tire on his travels. The footmen were large, with hardened faces that clearly spoke of their power. They not only carried the Sapa Inca, they also guarded and protected him.

I thought that perhaps I could join the group without bringing attention to myself, but such was not to be the way. One of the eight footmen sighted me and pointed in my direction. I walked toward him and dropped to my knees at what felt to be a proper distance.

“I wish to join you on this journey,” I said in a respectful voice.

“The emperor makes such decisions,” he responded. “Remain where you are.”

The footman approached the litter and spoke with his eyes averted to the ground. Not even the Sapa Inca's guards were allowed to look upon him from such a close distance. I couldn't hear the response from inside the litter, but I saw the footman making a jagged gesture down his right cheek and knew he was describing me. Another moment passed, and a sandaled foot emerged from the litter. Was the emperor coming to see me? I took in a breath and kept my eyes fixed on a spot on the earth. I would do nothing to insult him, nothing to jeopardize my chances of getting to the Sacred Rock.

I heard feet approaching me on the path and then a slight chuckle. “The Learning Girl.”

This was a voice I recognized. I looked up to see the Villac Uma.

“Such a surprised face you show,” he said. “I am accompanying the Sapa Inca to Machu Picchu for the ceremony.”

I glanced over at the litter.

He answered my look. “Yes, the emperor is inside.”

I wanted to study the litter for evidence of the emperor within. But I shook my head to clear my mind. It wasn't the Sapa Inca who should be in my thoughts at this critical point. I remained on my knees and kissed my fingertips in reverence. “Greetings, Villac Uma.”

“You may stand,” he said. “And you may join the journey.”

“
Pachis
, Villac Uma,” I said, and I kissed my fingers again as I rose.

“But what of your friend?” he asked.

This question confused me, right and true. “Do you mean Sumac?” I didn't expect the Villac Uma would forbid the bird from joining me.

“No.” The priest gestured behind me. “The boy.”

I looked where he pointed. A figure was making its way down the trail. At first I wasn't certain who it was, but once I recognized him, I began shaking my head. Can you guess who huffed and puffed his way toward us? Ucho!

“He doesn't belong here. And he is not my friend,” I said in a quiet voice cold with fear.

“The boy serves his purpose,” the Villac Uma said. “He joins us as well.” Having spoken, he returned to the litter and went inside. I couldn't have argued with him even if he had remained.

By the time Ucho reached the entourage, I had hidden myself within a cluster of people, although I was certain he knew I was there. The footmen lifted the litter, and we began walking. As I took my first steps toward the Sacred Rock, I tried to focus on the request I wanted to make of it. But new questions lodged themselves in my mind like splinters of wood stuck under the skin. Why was Ucho here, and how might he ruin my plans?

***

The journey to Machu Picchu lasted several days. I spent my time with Sumac, avoiding Ucho and the other travelers as best I could. I didn't see the emperor, and the Villac Uma rarely left the litter. Everywhere I looked, I saw evidence of drought and suffering. Other people slowly joined the group, and there were many hollow cheeks and deadened eyes. One couple leaned against each other as they walked, the woman cradling a limp child in her arms. They wept often to Pachacamac, the creator and giver of life, “Ay! Ay! Let us weep and grieve! Your poor sons are sick of heart. We can offer only our tears in exchange for your showers of rain!” I was so tired of the dust and of the struggle just to get enough to eat. I saw no signs that it would rain as the Paqo had foretold.

It was a journey made in footsteps, in breath that sped when I climbed steep inclines, in sandals and clothes that became covered in dust, in the sweat that dripped down my forehead and neck during the midday strength of Inti's glow, and in the bumps that rose on my skin as I shivered under my blankets during the cold nights. But there was another journey too, an unexpected trip, that took place at the same time. I traveled to my forgotten past. Here is how it happened.

We had crossed a newly repaired hanging rope bridge and stopped for a midday meal. I had so far been able to avoid Ucho and was beginning to wonder if his presence was simply an odd coincidence, if perhaps he had his own reason for being there. But I was far from the protection of my teacher and my home, and I didn't want to tempt Ucho's anger by showing my face. A small group of boulders stood not too far ahead on the path. I walked toward them to eat unseen from the others.

As I rounded one of the large rocks, I came upon a man resting on one of the boulders, the remains of his midday meal scattered about. I was startled to see someone there, but the true surprise came when I realized that it was Hatun, my brother. I don't know which of us was more astonished.

He stood abruptly. “Little Sister? Is that you? Are you a girl or a bird spirit?”

I laughed. With Sumac on my shoulder, I must have looked quite odd to my brother. “I am no spirit,” I assured him, and Sumac took off in flight, as if to show he was separate from me. I felt suddenly shy without his presence to cover my cheek, and my hair fell across my scar as if it had a mind of its own.

“Why are you here?” Hatun asked as he came forward and embraced me.

“I'm traveling to Sacred Sun City with the emperor's entourage. Why are you here?”

“I'm traveling home. I expected to see you soon, but not here, not today!”

We settled into the shade of the boulders and talked, filling each other in on the news of the past three years. I told him that Father was as troublesome as ever, that Mama seemed more worried and would be glad to see him, and that Chasca had been chosen to be a Sun Maiden. Hatun described his time laboring on the roads and bridges, and how some of the men had been hard-working while others were lazy. I thought of old Sutic and his snoring ways during planting time. Hatun said he was glad to be going home. He looked forward to starting a family of his own. I studied his strong, handsome face and knew he would have no trouble finding a lovely wife. I was proud of my serious brother who had received praise for his skills and had earned the right to return home in honor to become a full man.

Hatun ended our time together with words that I couldn't have prepared for properly even if I had known they were to come. “There is something I need to say to you, Little Sister,” he said. “I have had the opportunity to think a great deal during these past three years. Working on the bridges is mostly time alone with your thoughts. I'm glad the spirits have given me this chance to tell you now. I am sorry. So sorry. I should have said this to you long ago.”

Misery etched my brother's face, and I couldn't imagine why he was apologizing to me in such earnestness. He must have recognized my confusion, for he said, “You don't understand? You don't remember?”

“Remember what?”

“It was my fault, Little Sister. I didn't look after you properly. The jaguar never would have attacked you if I had watched over you as I was supposed to.”

I touched my hand to my cheek, tracing the scar lightly with my fingers. Hatun's fault? A jaguar attacked me?

Hatun rushed on. “Ucho distracted me. He was trying to act like the older boys, helping to defend the fields, and he fell and cried out and made a big fuss. I should have let someone else tend to him and kept my eyes on you. I made the wrong choice.” He paused, studying my distressed face. “Don't you remember any of this?”

And then . . . I
did
remember. Suddenly, it was there, like a long-ago dream. I was my four-year-old self, playing near the fields as my brother and the other boys slung stones at the birds and other animals that might try to eat the people's precious crops. I wandered off and saw two jaguar cubs. They were playing. I ran to them, wanting to join their fun. There was a growl, then claws and hot animal breath and pain.

“I do remember. A mother jaguar did this to me. I tried to play with her cubs.”

“Yes! Yes! It was my fault. I shouldn't have allowed you to wander. Mama asked me to watch you. I should have said this to you long ago, but you were always hiding away from everyone, up on that rock of yours. I thought you didn't want to speak with me, that you were angry with me. It never occurred to me that you had forgotten what happened. Can you forgive me?”

I barely noticed my brother's plea for forgiveness. I was remembering. I was understanding. Already certain I knew the answer, I asked in a rush, “The people, they saved me. What happened to the jaguar?”

“They beat her away and chased her up the mountain. They killed her there by your rock. Her cubs must have died there too.”

The Paqo had asked me time and again what I remembered of my past. He had asked me why I had chosen my rock. I finally understood his questions. I could hear his voice echoing in my head.
The past is the key to the now
.

The Mother Jaguar had died near my
huaca
. Her spirit had gone inside. All these years, I had sat with her, the spirit that had changed me from Beautiful Round Face to the Ugly One. She had visited me in my dreams. It was she who had sent me on this journey. Now I was certain I would be allowed to speak with the Sacred Rock and that it would right the wrong done to me when I was a little girl.

Hatun stared at me, his face twisted with worry. But I wasn't angry with my brother. He wasn't to blame. The gods had placed him on my path so he could show me this piece of my past, so I could walk to Machu Picchu in certainty.

I reached up and placed my hands on his cheeks. “Everything will be fine,” I said with a smile. “I'll be fine. I don't know how I forgot all of this. I think I didn't want to remember. But now is the time, right and true, for the past to reveal itself. It will heal me. I'll be fine. Don't worry any longer.”

The skin on my brother's face smoothed. He closed his eyes and kissed his fingertips to the sky. “The spirits brought you to me today to lift this burden from me. Travel safely, Little Sister. Until we see each other again.”

“Travel safely. Until we see each other again.”

Hatun smiled once more and set off down the path. I shielded my eyes from Inti and looked upward. Sumac was circling in a tight arc, as if he was guarding against any possible dangers that might threaten me. Seeing Hatun leave, the Handsome One spiraled down and landed on my shoulder. This was good. I would need his protection, for it was time to do something I had avoided ever since I had become the Ugly One. It was time to confront Ucho.

20

U
CHO
was sitting by himself, munching on a dried corn loaf. Good. I wanted to speak with him alone. The sad tree under which he sat had suffered from the lack of rains. The few leaves that dangled from the branches were brown and dead. Ucho's face was similar, dark and empty.

An old habit presented itself as I walked toward Ucho. I shifted my head to the side so my hair would fall over my scarred cheek. Instantly, the world splintered, split by the strands of hair in front of my eye. I felt a quick surge of fear in my stomach. I paused. I didn't want to give Ucho such power over me any longer. It was my turn to claim the strength. With a deliberate motion, I pushed the hair behind my ear and looked up to the sky and Inti for help. I'd once wished I had the power of the clouds, craving their freedom and power to change and move. Now I knew, right and true, that I had changed. I had become Yachachisqa, Learning Girl. And soon I would be Beautiful Round Face once more. I moved like a cloud, gracefully and with the flow of the world, toward Ucho.

His deadened face came to life in a scowl when he saw me. The anger was not to be mistaken, but for the first time I realized that more than hostility lurked within this boy. I thought perhaps his face spoke of frustration and unhappiness. I recalled the day he had been playing the game of conkana with Muti and had shown love toward his little brother. I had always viewed Ucho as a tormentor, but what else was he? It was time to find out.

“Why did you come on this journey?” I demanded. I leaned over him, hands on my hips, anger in my voice. Sumac crouched low on my shoulder, his beak open in warning.

Ucho didn't enjoy the way I rose like a mountain before him. That I would approach him and speak so boldly also did not suit my tormentor. He scrambled to his feet but kept his distance from Sumac's large, angry beak.

“I
had
to follow you,” Ucho said hotly. “As I told you, I must be in your future. I won't ignore my duty.”

I didn't remember Ucho saying this to me, and I didn't understand what he meant. What duty? I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I wouldn't let him confuse me. I was here to discuss the past, not the future.