The Taming of the Wolf (18 page)

Cait blinked at him. She didn’t know what to say, but she knew she couldn’t take him up on his offer. It would be the most unconscionable thing she could do.

“Come with me, Cait,” he urged. “I’ll love you all of my days, I swear it.”

She shook her head. “Ye canna go with me. Stop makin’ this so difficult, Alec. Ye doona ken what ye’re askin’ me ta do.”

He tipped her face up to look at him. “Do you really want to marry Brimsworth?”

Did she want to marry Dash? She didn’t want to be forced into it, but she did want him. Alec deserved her honest answer. Perhaps it would help him move to his intended path. Cait nodded.

His face twisted in agony, and Cait felt a fresh wave of tears trail down her cheeks. In another life, another time, Alec MacQuarrie would have been the man for her.

“You can’t go after Blaire then, Caitrin. You’re supposed to marry the man tomorrow.”

“But I have ta,” she stressed. “Blaire is in danger.”

Dash would understand. She’d explain it to him and he would… think she was running from him again.

“Did you ever love me?” Alec’s strained voice tore at her heart.

“Aye,” she choked out. “But no’ the way ye need.”

He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. It was tender and sweet and so far in every way from the all-encompassing passion she felt in Dash’s arms. It was a good-bye to what could have been.

Slowly, he lifted his head, and the anguished look in his dark eyes twisted her belly in knots. “I can’t stand back and watch you marry him,” he whispered. “So, I’ll go after Blaire. You should stay here.” Then he stepped away from her. “Briarcraig Castle by Loch Calavie?”

She managed to nod.

Alec opened the door and sucked in a strangled breath. Cait looked up to see Dashiel Thorpe standing in the hallway.

“Miss Ferguson said you were upset and left in a hurry,” he said smoothly, though his amber eyes seemed filled with rage.

Alec nodded his head toward Dash. “Best of luck to you, Brimsworth.”

“And to you, MacQuarrie.” Dash answered, but he never took his eyes off Cait.

The door closed softly behind Alec, and Cait turned to watch out the window as he walked away. His stride was strong, but there was a stoop to his shoulders that nearly broke her heart.

She wiped a tear from her cheek.

“You ran back here for an assignation with MacQuarrie?” Dash demanded. Ire coursed through his veins, and he was having a difficult time restraining his temper.

“Ye doona ken what ye’re talkin’ about.” She sniffed and turned away from him toward a window overlooking the front walk.

He took a deep breath. MacQuarrie was gone, which was what he’d wanted since he’d met the man. Dash walked slowly into the room until he stood behind Cait as she stared blankly out the window. His heart hurt a bit when she brushed a tear from her cheek.

Dash closed his eyes tightly. He couldn’t let himself touch her, not until he knew what was in her heart.

“If you love him so much, I’ll go and bring him back for you,” he said. It would kill him, but he’d do it. He’d suffer the consequences.

She spun around quickly until she faced him, a blue fire lighting her eyes. Then she poked her finger into his chest.

“If I loved
him
, I would have asked him ta stay, ye beast. But I dinna. Instead, I’ve doomed myself ta a lifetime spent with the likes of ye.”

“If you find me so detestable, Caitie…” He let his voice trail off. “Damn it all to hell,” he bit out, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “Do you want to marry me or not? Can you accept who I am?”

Cait turned back to look out the window. She didn’t respond.

That was all the answer he needed. He quickly quit the room, dashing up the stairs to his borrowed quarters as quickly as he could. He’d get his things, round up Niall Forster, call for his carriage, and be out of her life forever.

Her quick footsteps beat a rhythm against the wood floor as she ran behind him. But at the last minute, she turned and went in the other direction. It was better that way. He could leave without making a scene. It would rip his heart out, and he would be doomed to live a life alone. But she could find a modicum of happiness, were he not in her life; which apparently was what she wanted.

Dash saw Mr. Forster stick his head out the door next to his own. Then the arse grinned and pulled his head back, slamming his door closed before Dash could ask him what he should do. Some mentor he turned out to be.

He barged into his own room and opened his valise.

“Doona forget yer journal of debauchery, Lord Brimsworth,” Cait sneered from the doorway, where she held out his small leather-bound journal.

“I no longer need it. Toss it in the fire.” It was of no use to him. If he couldn’t be with her, he couldn’t be with anyone. But would he if he could? If he really and truly asked himself, he would have to say no. He wanted Cait. And by God, he
only
wanted Cait.

“No more women, Lord Brimsworth?” she taunted from the doorway. “Surely ye’ll need yer journal so ye can find the plump actress who has that little trick she does with her tongue.”

He closed his eyes and stilled, wincing a bit. She’d obviously read more of his book. “That was in the past,” he mumbled.

Then she opened his little journal and flipped through the pages. She read aloud, “Lord Ridgely told me today he plans to pension off his lovely mistress, as he has suddenly discovered he loves his wife and wishes to pursue both lust and love with his one and only, the one who bears his name. I cannot imagine ever feeling such an irrational emotion as love. I believe it’s a myth fabricated by those raised on faerie tales and dreams. I may pay the fair woman a visit.”

Dash growled low in his throat. It had once been a noise that stopped grown men in their tracks. But Cait just narrowed her eyes, raised her hand, and threw the book at his head with such force he had to duck or she’d quite possibly have taken out his eye.

With that, Dash stepped toward her, caught her around the waist, and drew her quickly against him. She struggled and smacked at his chest until he caught her wrists in his hand and pulled them behind her back, imprisoning her against him.

“I doona believe in faerie tales and dreams, either, my lord.” She still held her chin high, meeting his eyes as he looked down at her.

“You let him kiss you?” He knew she did. He’d heard most of the words they’d spoken quietly in the parlor clearly through the closed door. And he could still
smell
MacQuarrie on her. He jostled her when she didn’t answer and repeated the question. “Didn’t you?”

“Aye, I did.”

He growled again. God help MacQuarrie after Dash got his hands on him.

“I had ta ken,” she said softly, bringing his attention back to her.

“You had to know what?”

“I had ta ken…” Her words came out broken, choked by a sob. “…if his kisses make me feel like yers do.” She sniffed loudly. “A-and I had ta tell him good-bye.”

Dash felt physical pain within himself when her eyes filled with tears. He loosened his hold on her hands, and she buried her face against his jacket.

“And his kiss… did it make you feel like mine?” His whole world hinged on her answer to that one question.

“No,” she mumbled against his chest.

“No?” Dare he hope?

“Has somethin’ happened ta yer hearin’, Dash?” she groused at him. “I ken better than anyone that ye heard me just fine.”

“Say it again.”

“No one makes me feel the way you do,” she admitted.

Then Cait stuck out her chin, and Dash couldn’t resist the invitation. When he touched his lips to hers, she shivered in his arms and her pulse pounded like mad.

“I want to rip your clothes off and lay you upon the bed. Then make love to you for hours,” he whispered close to her ear.

“Then what’s stoppin’ ye?”

“You’ve yet to say your vows to me.”

“Ye’ve yet ta ask me.”

“I
did
ask you, you little witch!” Dash growled at her obstinacy.

“No, ye never did, ye beast!” She punched his shoulder.

“I
am
a beast,” he muttered. “Bloody hell.” She looked up at him, her eyes still wet with the pain that he’d caused. He dropped to one knee before her.

“Caitrin Macleod, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

“Is that the best ye can do?” she asked, tears shimmering on her lashes but a smile on her face.

“What more do you want of me, Cait?”

She turned her body and sat down on his extended knee. Then she cupped her hand around the shell of his ear, leaned close, and whispered, “I want all of ye.”

***

Cait squealed as Dash swept her up in his arms, kicked the bedroom door shut, and tossed her into the center of the bed.

“Naughty little girls who tease big, bad wolves deserve to be mauled,” he said, a half-smile upon his face as he landed on top of her and pushed her toward the headboard.

“Did I ever tell ye about the time I
was
mauled by a wolf?”

He stilled above her. “By a Lycan?”

“No, by a real wolf. Elspeth had ta heal me.”

His eyebrows knit together as he rolled from atop her and propped his head on his hand. “What happened, Caitie?”

“It was poor judgment on my part that put me in the situation.”

“That I don’t doubt,” he teased. “Tell me, anyway.”

Cait sighed. “At the time, I was wholeheartedly opposed ta Elspeth’s relationship with Benjamin Westfield, and I’d gone on a walk in the woods with Jeannie ta clear my mind. I get a little annoyed when people doona heed my counsel.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He smiled at her. “What happened?”

“Well, I wasna payin’ attention ta where I was, and I stumbled across a wolves’ den.” She shrugged. “The mother was just protectin’ her pups.”

A shadow of something crossed his face.

“What is it?” she asked as she smoothed his hair from his brow.

Dash closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against her hand, then turned and kissed the center of her palm. “It’s nothing,” he said absently.

Cait sat up. “It’s no’
nothin’
.”

“You’ll think I’m daft.”

“I already think ye’re daft, ye big lout. Now tell me what ye’re thinkin’. I canna read yer mind, ye ken.”

“That’s right. I’m the only man you cannot predict.” He playfully tugged a lock of her hair.

“Doona remind me,” she grunted. “And stop changin’ the subject.”

Dash closed his eyes and breathed, as though steeling himself. “Will you be as protective of our pups as the mother wolf was of hers?”

Cait crossed her legs beneath her, tucking her skirts around her. “We willna truly have
pups
, will we?”

Dash chuckled. “Of a sort, I believe. Although I’m not completely sure. I never even knew what I was until I met the Westfields. I thought I was some sort of monster, an anomaly, a cruel trick of fate. ‘Revelations’ was a particularly difficult book for me to get through in my theology studies.”

Cait tried to work out the problem in her head. “So, the father who wasna yer father never told ye what ye were, either? Ye grew up completely without any idea that ye’re a Lycan? With no one ta stand up for yer best interests?”

Caitrin could see that she’d touched a place where no one else had been before with him.

“Think of it as though you had your gift of clairvoyance but you were only permitted to use it every so often. And when you
did
use it, it was uncontrollable. So much so that you had to be bound to prevent you from using that part of yourself. A part you’re born with. A gift that is
supposed
to be a part of you, if you could only figure out how to use the bloody thing.”

“That would be positively dreadful.”

“And when you were permitted to use it, you had no idea how to control it.”

“Ye only turn ta a wolf the night of the full moon?”

“Only that one night. Correct.” He suddenly looked very serious.

“So, I’ll be able ta see what ye look like in yer wolfen form. Which’ll prepare me for our
pups
.” She laughed with that last word, exaggerating it more than necessary. “I’ll be fine with it. But I’ll tell ye right now that ye’re the only one who’ll be allowed ta nibble on my fingers.”

He took her hand in his and squeezed it. “No. It will not be like that.”

“What do ye mean?”

“I mean I’ll share every part of myself with you, Caitie. And I’ll make you happy. I’ll be a good father. I might even nibble various parts of you. But I’ll not share the night of the moonful with you.”

“But Ben and Elspeth are together when the moon is full. And so are the other Westfield brothers and their wives.”

“They’re not like me.” He sat up and took her hands in his. “They’re not wild. They’re controlled.” He peeled back the shoulder of her gown. “Look how I hurt you. And I didn’t even intend to.”

“Ye just wanted ta seduce me.”

“Oh, I still want that. Quite a lot,” he growled as he sat up and rolled her beneath him. His knee quickly slipped between her legs and parted them.

“Wait.” She tapped his shoulder, forcing him to remove his lips from the side of her neck, where they tickled a path up toward her ear.

“Yes, angel,” he sighed as he lifted his head.

“I need ta tell ye somethin’.”

“Can it wait? I’m making love to you here.”

“Doona brush me off by play-actin’ ta change the subject, Dashiel Thorpe. I can see right through ye.” She took his face between her hands and forced him to look at her, his eyes like amber pools she could surely drown in.

“I’ll love our pups. And I will protect them with my life, if needed. The fact that they could be Lycan will no’ make me treat them any differently. Unless, perhaps, it’s ta love them more because they’re part of ye.”

He kissed her softly and tenderly, until he could do so no longer. When he had her panting beneath him, he pressed his forehead against hers and breathed, “If you don’t get out of my room, I won’t be responsible for what I do to you.”

“I dare ye,” she giggled.

“No,” he said as he rolled from atop her. “I want to do this right.” He pulled her to her feet and prodded her toward the door.

“But, Dash,” she complained. If anyone had ever told her she would be begging a feral Lycan to make love to her, she’d have thought them daft.

“I’ve never done anything honorable in my life, angel. Until now. Out.”

Their parting was almost painful, and Cait couldn’t wait until the next day to marry the big oaf. Dash finally shoved her from his room and firmly closed the door behind him. Then the lock clinked as he put one last barrier between them.

“Dashiel,” she whispered softly through the crack in the door.

She heard him chuckle on the other side. “Go to your room, Caitrin, before I forget my vow to wait and do this properly. I’ll have your skirts up around your ears, and you won’t even remember what happened.”