The Name of the Blade, Book Two: Darkness Hidden (20 page)

Shinobu was kneeling on a narrow, white, stonework ledge that ran the length of the red-brick building under the line of windows. He had found a handhold above the window on a section of lead pipe. As he shuffled sideways to make room for me, I reached out and grabbed it too, then leaned down to offer my hand to Mr Leech in the same way Shinobu had done for me. He
was
going to need help getting out. Shinobu grabbed the back of my fleece to balance me as I poked my head through the window. “Come on!”

Mr Leech took my hand in that surprisingly strong grip and leaned over the sink to put his mouth close to my ear. “Thank you – offer. No need – can’t – fear—”

Huh?
“I can’t hear you!”

The old man shook his head at me. “Go – too old – running about. I’m – danger.”

“Mr Leech, we can’t leave you here! Please. I promise we’ll protect you.”

He smiled the stunning, angelic smile that made him look so ancient and so innocent at once. “I don’t – need – protection,” he said slowly and carefully. His hand tightened around mine in two urgent squeezes. “Mio – katana’s second name – listen…”

I don’t want to know!

The green blade flashes down in the red light—

The walls of the building vibrated. An almighty crash echoed through the floor. Mr Leech released my hand and I jerked back just in time as the sash window fell down between us, thudding home hard enough to crack the glass. The orange blind dropped, hiding the bathroom and the old man from view. I waited a second for the blind to lift again. It didn’t.

Shinobu yanked lightly on the back of my top and gave me a questioning look.

I shook my head. “He’s not coming!” I hesitated for a moment. “I think we need to go.”

We picked our way carefully along the ledge. Twice we had to stop and cling to the wall, the pipes and each other, as the building shook again. Finally we reached the corner, and were able to shin a few feet up the drainpipe to the peeling asphalt roof above, where it felt marginally safer. I could still hear distant howls from the Harbinger – Izanagi – and feel the roof heaving underfoot. The old man must have some really bloody powerful magical protections down there or Izanagi would have demolished this whole place by now.

We set off on a jumping, sliding, skidding journey over the rooftops, moving as fast as we could. I craned over the edges of the buildings, trying to make sure that we were heading in the right direction – towards the only possible sanctuary, my house – expecting all the while to see the Harbinger suddenly appear in hot pursuit. Shinobu was scrutinizing the sky, checking for signs of Izanami’s Handmaidens.

With every step, I was hyper-aware that we were fleeing from our one source of information about this whole mess. We had brought danger to his door, and then left him behind, and although part of that was his own fault, I honestly felt sure that he had meant us no harm. There was so much more that we needed,
needed
to know, and so little time to find out. My stomach churned with frustration and worry.

After about half an hour of clambering over the rooftops, we hit a flat concrete roof liberally scattered with metal air-conditioning vents. I signalled to Shinobu that I had to stop, and bent over, leaning my hands on my knees and taking deep breaths.

“I cannot understand why he would not come with us,” Shinobu mused out loud. I caught what he was saying this time, although my ears were still ringing a little.

“All I could make out was that he didn’t want our protection. I think he said he didn’t need it. He must have some pretty strong mojo of his own. It’s kind of weird how he chooses to look like that, live like that. The king said he never even sets foot outside the shop.”

“Did he say anything else before we left? You had your head in the window for a while.”

“Mio, this is the katana’s second name. Listen…”

Don’t tell him
.

Just don’t say anything
.

Don’t say it
.

For God’s sake!

I closed my eyes.

“He told me the sword’s second true name.”

I felt Shinobu’s gaze snap to my face. We stood there in silence as the wind whistled around us.

I couldn’t figure out what I needed or wanted to say. Abruptly I was exhausted, so overwhelmingly tired that I could barely think straight. Slowly I slid down to sit on the concrete, with my back to one of the metal vents. After drawing my knees up, I wrapped my arms around them and hid my face. There was a tentative footstep and a rustle of clothing, then Shinobu’s shoulder leaned against mine as he sat beside me.

Mr Leech could tell us that the gods – Kami – were damn useless fools all he liked, but they were still terrifying, powerful, impossible to predict, and
after me and the katana
.

What would Izanami do if one of her monsters finally managed to get hold of the sword? It didn’t take much imagination to figure out. She’d break the remaining bindings on it and break out of her Underworld prison, bringing all her demons with her. The mortal realm would become a nightmare battle zone as she went after Izanagi and revenge.

If Izanagi got his hands on it? He’d bind Shinobu back into the sword again. It was obvious now that was what he’d been trying to do the first time he came after me, when he’d skewered Shinobu to the floor with those bolts of white energy. Then he’d … “break my spirit”, Mr Leech had said. I shuddered at the thought of what that might mean. But in the end I’d still be the sword’s protector, still be compelled to guard it, still never be safe. And Izanami would continue sending her monsters into the world to hunt the sword, threatening innocent people wherever they went. Innocent people like my family. Like the ones I loved.

Izanami was clearly as crazy as a sackful of ferrets. She gave me the creeps all right. But Izanagi? He was way worse. He was sane and he knew what he was doing – to me, to London, to Shinobu. He just didn’t care. Izanami’s monsters could wipe out the whole city and he wouldn’t lift a finger to stop them, so long as he was safe. He’d successfully evaded the consequences of betraying his wife for all these years and clearly had no intention of stopping, regardless of how many innocent people got hurt.

“Mio,” Shinobu began quietly.

“Don’t.”

“Mr Leech gave us an answer. It was not … the one we were hoping for. That does not mean we can pretend we never heard it.”

I ground my forehead against my knees. “Don’t.”

“Mio—”

“I can’t talk about this.” The feelings boiling inside me were too much. I couldn’t articulate them, couldn’t even fully comprehend them. It was too much. I needed it all to stop. I just needed it to stop for a minute and let me
think
. “We have time, OK? We have some time to figure something else out, so we don’t have to talk about this.”

“We do have to talk about it,” he said, his voice a mixture of pleading and resolve. “Look at me. We have to – to try to decide…”

A choked noise burst out of my throat and I slammed my fist down on the concrete beside my hip as I looked up at him. “Decide what?
What?
How to kill you? How to put you back in the dark, but this time forever? Shinobu, there has to be another way. Some way out of this. There has to be. Do you honestly think I could do that to you? Just take away your life? It would be murder! I can’t – I can’t even…” The words dried to dust in my mouth as I stared at his face.

It was a stranger’s face in many ways, with unfamiliar expressions and changing moods that often seemed to lie before me like some undiscovered country, waiting to be explored. But at the same time, it was already as beloved, as familiar to me, as the sky or the sun, or my own reflection. Shinobu’s dark eyes were tormented now – shadowed with sorrow and despair and something more. I had never seen that expression on his face before, not even when he lay dying alone in the red forest. And I realized that he was afraid. As afraid as me.

A terrible pang went through my heart. I shook my head wordlessly.
No. I won’t let go
.

He took my hand and ran his fingers gently over my knuckles. “You know that the choice … this choice is mine to make. Not anyone else’s. Not even yours.”

“What’s wrong with you?” I whispered. “Why are you just accepting this? Why won’t you fight? It’s like … like you want to go back into the dark. Like you want to die.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to call them back. But it was too late. Shinobu dropped my hand and straightened away from me, his face hardening.

I could still never have predicted what he would say next.

“I am already dead.”

I jolted as if he’d stuck a live wire into me. “That – that’s not true.”

“It is. You know it is,” he said. His voice was quieter now, but somehow more emphatic for that. “You saw it for yourself. A piece of metal thicker than your arm pierced my heart and I walked away from it without even a bruise. Since I entered this world again, I have not slept. I have not eaten or drunk. Hardly anyone can even see me.
I am dead
. I have known this since the moment I opened my eyes on the floor of Battersea Power Station, and you have known it too, even if you would not admit it to yourself. I am a sundered spirit, walking the earth in human form. This state of things cannot endure. I cannot endure. This – the end – was always inevitable.”

Inevitable
.

The word echoed through me like a deep, inescapable rumble of thunder. Everything I thought I knew fell away.

I got up and, wheezing shallowly, I staggered away a few steps. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even look at him, although I could sense him getting to his feet, coming after me.

One of my hands jerked up, palm facing him. He stopped dead.

“That’s what – that’s what you think? The whole time? The whole time we’ve been with each other that’s what you thought?”

For however long I may stay by your side, I will have all that I need
. Those words had seemed so romantic to me. I thought he was telling me some pop-song sentiment about how love was the only important thing to him. But he’d meant the exact opposite.

He didn’t expect to be around long enough for anything to count.

Something burst open inside me. I whipped round, both my palms smashing into his chest. The blow shoved him back a step, but his face registered no shock, only sadness. That made me even madder.

“I knew?” The words were a scream. “I was supposed to know? I didn’t know! I thought we were going to have a future together! You kept everything – you kept all this – a secret. You pretended it was
real
! You let
me
believe it was real!”

“Mio-dono—”

“Don’t call me that! You let me believe in us. How could you do that if you never believed yourself?”

I went to shove him again. He grabbed hold of me and dragged me against him, wrapping his arms around me. “My beloved. I’m sorry.” He whispered raggedly into my hair, speaking in Japanese.

“What? What are you saying?” I demanded, struggling furiously. “Speak English!”

“
There are lies that are sweeter than the truth
. I am sorry, Mio. I let you believe because I wanted to believe. I let you hope because hope was all I had.” His fingers clenched in my hair almost painfully as I tried to pull away.

“Let go of me, you—”

“Listen to me! Do you think I want to go? How can you think that? All I have ever wanted is you. A life with you. I would do anything to stay. Anything.
I love you
.”

The words sounded like they had ripped out of him, dripping blood. It was obvious that it had taken everything he had to say them. I couldn’t doubt him. He was telling the truth. That almost made it worse.

“You’re so selfish.” I hit him half-heartedly in the back with my fist, then again, a little harder. “How could you do this? How could you kiss me? How could you let me fall in love with you?”

He laughed shakily. I felt him kiss my hair, his arms tightening even more. “You are right. I am selfish. I do not deserve you, Mio. I never did. After Battersea, when I knew that I had come back as something different, I should have drawn away from you for your sake. But all I could think was that if I had died then, at the Nekomata’s hands, I would have died without ever touching you. Without kissing you. Without having you in my arms like this. I would do anything to stay with you – but I cannot change my fate. I cannot change what is. And if I have to go back into that prison, back into the darkness and the cold, I want to take the warmth of you and the light of you with me in my heart. Without it, I won’t survive.”

Love and fury and sorrow roiled inside me until I could barely see straight. “We don’t
know
how to put you back. There has to be another way. There has to be another way.
There has to be another way
.” That was all I knew right then, my only truth. “Maybe Mr Leech is wrong. He admitted that he doesn’t know everything – he didn’t know about you being alive and out of the sword! Maybe I
can
control the sword! I’m stronger than he thinks. I could try. Maybe I don’t have to use the next true name at all. I might be able to get enough power just with the first one. I’d have a better chance then. Or … or … and, anyway, we don’t know how to put you back.”

He cleared his throat, letting me pull away a little so that he could look into my face. “These dreams you have been having are not just dreams, we both know that. I think you have been seeing these things for a reason. I think … I think that … when the time comes … you will know what to do.”

The green blade flashes down in the red light—

Frost prickled down my spine. My eyes shot to the clouds, where a pair of birds circled downwards, growing bigger. And bigger.
Those aren’t birds
.

I screamed, “Foul Women!”

We hit the concrete as the first monster swooped down on us.

CHAPTER 14

J
ack forced her head to turn on the pillow despite the pain in her eyes and neck and stared at her sister’s phone lying on the locker next to the bed. It was too far away. It hadn’t seemed that far a couple of hours ago when she dropped it there after calling Mio and her sister, but it was now. She just couldn’t find the energy to roll over and reach out for it
.