The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (481 page)

BOOK: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
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“resolutely”: but his meaning is good.

 

SHALLOW

Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

 

Yes, I think my cousin meant well.

 

SLENDER

Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!

 

Yes I did, or otherwise may I be hanged, ha!

 

SHALLOW

Here comes fair Mistress Anne.

 

Re-enter ANNE PAGE

Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!

 

Here comes lovely Mistress Anne.

 

You make me wish I was young, Mistress Anne!

 

ANNE PAGE

The dinner is on the table; my father desires your

worships' company.

 

Dinner is on the table; my father asks for

your worships to join him.

 

SHALLOW

I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.

 

I will be there, lovely Mistress Anne.

 

SIR HUGH EVANS

Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.

 

Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR HUGH EVANS

 

God be praised! I won't miss the grace.

 

ANNE PAGE

Will't please your worship to come in, sir?

 

Would you like to come in now, sir?

 

SLENDER

No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.

 

No, indeed, many thanks; I'm fine.

 

ANNE PAGE

The dinner attends you, sir.

 

Dinner is waiting for you, sir.

 

SLENDER

I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,

sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my

cousin Shallow.

Exit SIMPLE

A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his

friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy

yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I

live like a poor gentleman born.

 

I'm not hungry, thank you, indeed. Go,

sir, although you are my servant, go and wait on

my cousin Shallow.

 

A justice of the peace  might sometimes lend his

friend a servant. I just employ three men and a boy

now, until my mother is dead: what about it? But I

live as though I was born poor.

 

ANNE PAGE

I may not go in without your worship: they will not

sit till you come.

 

I can't go back without your worship: they will not

begin  until you come.

 

SLENDER

I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as

though I did.

 

I swear, I'll eat nothing: but I thank you

just the same.

 

ANNE PAGE

I pray you, sir, walk in.

 

Please sir, come in.

 

SLENDER

I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised

my shin th' other day with playing at sword and

dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a

dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot

abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your

dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?

 

I'd rather stay out here, thank you. I bruised

my shin the other day in a sword and

dagger fight with a fencing master; we had three

bouts for a bet for a dish of stewed prunes, and I swear

I haven't been able to stand the smell of cooked meats since. Why are your

dogs barking like that? Are there bears in town?

 

ANNE PAGE

I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

 

I think there are, sir; I heard people talking about them.

 

SLENDER

I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at

it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see

the bear loose, are you not?

 

I love bear bating but I will have a quarrel at

it as quickly as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see

the bear on the loose, aren't you?

 

ANNE PAGE

Ay, indeed, sir.

 

Yes, indeed, sir.

 

SLENDER

That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen

Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by

the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so

cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,

indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored

rough things.

 

Re-enter PAGE

 

Now that means nothing to me. I have seen

the bear Sackerson loose twenty times, and have grabbed

his chain; but, I promise you, the women screamed

and cried at it so much, it was amazing: but women

certainly can't stand them; they are very ugly

rough things.

 

PAGE

Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.

 

Come in, gentle Master Slender, come in; we are waiting for you.

 

SLENDER

I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.

 

Thank you, sir, I don't want anything to eat.

 

PAGE

By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.

 

By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! Come on, come on.

 

SLENDER

Nay, pray you, lead the way.

 

No, please, you lead the way.

 

PAGE

Come on, sir.

 

Come on, sir.

 

SLENDER

Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.

 

Mistress Anne, after you.

 

ANNE PAGE

Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.

 

Not me, sir; please, you go ahead.

 

SLENDER

I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.

You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!

 

Exeunt

 

I'd rather be rude then cause trouble.

You are putting yourself down, really, ha ha!

 

 

 

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE

 

SIR HUGH EVANS

Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which

is the way: and there dwells one Mistress Quickly,

which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry

nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and

his wringer.

 

Go about your business, and ask the way to Doctor Caius'

house: someone called Mistress Quickly lives there,

she is his nurse, or his dry nurse,

or his cook, or his laundry woman, his dishwasher, and

his clothes dryer.

 

SIMPLE

Well, sir.

 

Good, sir.

 

SIR HUGH EVANS

Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it

is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with

Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire

and require her to solicit your master's desires to

Mistress Anne Page. I pray you, be gone: I will

make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come.

 

Exeunt

 

No, we'll make it better. Give her this letter; this

woman is very well acquainted with

Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is asking

and ordering her to represent your master's feelings

 to Mistress Anne Page. Please, go: I will

stay and finish my dinner: there's apples and cheese to finish.

 

 

 

Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN

 

FALSTAFF

Mine host of the Garter!

 

Landlord of the Garter!

 

Host

What says my bully-rook? speak scholarly and wisely.

 

What's up you old devil? Speak intellectually and cleverly.

 

FALSTAFF

Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my

followers.

 

To tell the truth, landlord, I will have to lay off some of

my followers.

 

Host

Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.

 

Throw them off, good Hercules; sack them; let them hang; trot, trot.

 

FALSTAFF

I sit at ten pounds a week.

 

I lodge at ten pounds a week.

 

Host

Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I

will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall

tap: said I well, bully Hector?

 

You are an emperor, Caesar, Kaiser and Sultan. I

will take on Bardolph; he can serve the beer:

is this a good idea, good Hector?

 

FALSTAFF

Do so, good mine host.

 

Go ahead, my good host.

 

Host

I have spoke; let him follow.

 

To BARDOLPH

Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow.

 

Exit

 

I have offered; let him take it up.

 

Let's see you in action: I don't waste words; follow me.

 

FALSTAFF

Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade:

an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered

serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; adieu.

 

Bardolph, follow him. Tending bar is a good trade:

you can make a new waistcoat out of an old cloak; a

decrepit servant can make a new barman. Go; good luck.

 

BARDOLPH

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