Surreal Ecstasy (28 page)

I scoffed. "You're calling my
bluff? If I reject your help, I'm a hypocrite."

"Are you?" he asked,
tilting his head and feigning innocence, which looked utterly ridiculous on
him. I mean, how could the devil possibly look innocent at all? "Just
think about what I've told you. Your little boyfriend's side wants the same
thing that my side does. Slates don't belong here. If you want to talk to me,
just contact one of my servants." And before I could say another thing, he
vanished into thin air.

The entire scene disappeared, as if
we had been in a movie and someone had reached the end of the projection reel.
I awoke on our mattress with a start, breathing intently and wondering about my
dream. If that had really just happened, it seemed the devil was trying to ask
me for help in understanding his kind, and that we needed to join forces to rid
ourselves of the Slates.

But I didn't want to rid the world
of Dess.

My heart was pounding; my brain,
confused and trying to understand what had just happened.

One of Ree's arms came out of
nowhere and circled my waist, his warmth and heavy breathing telling me he was
still asleep. I looked over at him and shook my head with wonder. It's like he
somehow knew I had just woken up, and had put his arm around me to say good
morning.

He's so amazing.

He also must have felt me watching
him, because his eyes opened. He smiled at me and pulled me in for a kiss.

"It's before one o'clock in the afternoon. Shouldn't you be asleep?"

I pretended to act offended, the
way I always did when he made jabs at my oversleeping. "Ha. Funny. Don't
quit your day job, buddy." I paused. "Uh, when you get one, I mean."

He put his arms over his head and
stretched for a minute or so while I picked up my cell phone. 7:43 AM. Ugh. Disgusted with the ungodly hour, I threw my phone down and curled up next to
Ree, loving the feel of his warm body.

"Did you sleep well?" he
asked, absentmindedly caressing my thigh with his hand.

I tensed up, recalling the devil's
pig-like red skin and curling horns. Did the devil have the power to enter my
dreams at any time? How could I keep myself safe from having to encounter him
again?

I was taking much too long to
answer, and naturally, Ree noticed it. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"The devil," I said, the
words dropping out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"
What?
" Ree sat
up, suddenly wide-awake and focused.

"I…had a dream about the
devil," I admitted, sitting up.

Ree's face darkened, his eyes
narrowing. "What? Morgan, what happened in this dream?"

I already began to feel
uncomfortable with this conversation. I wished I could stop, but what else was
I going to do? I wasn't about to lie to him. "Um…well, he said he wanted
the Slates gone, just like you do."

"Just like
I
do? What
does he think he knows about me?"

"I don't know. He just said
that your side wants the same thing as his side. And he said that if I ever
needed his help, I could enlist the help of someone Melted." I wanted to
bite my tongue as soon as those words were out. I definitely could have phrased
that differently.

He stood up and turned to look at
me, his hands clenched in tight fists. "
His
help? Why the hell
would you ever,
ever
need
his
help?" Even though his voice
was quiet and low, it was also angry and downright terrifying, sort of the way
Adim always sounded right before he erupted violently. Not to mention that the
phrase
why the hell
was Ree's way of cussing, which was unprecedented,
as far as I was concerned. Slivers of fear crept into my body, taking over my
brain and making it impossible to think of very much else.

Instinctively, I scooted away from
him until I was sitting on the corner of the mattress. Sure, I'd seen Ree argue
and fight with Adim, but I never thought in a million years that he could ever
be angry at
me
. It was my worst fear come to life, and honestly, it was
a damned frightening thing to see. I swallowed, feeling my shoulders rise up
and down from my quickened breathing. I looked at the floor instead of in his
eyes. There was so much I wanted to explain to him—that it wasn't my fault,
that I didn't want to have this dream, and that I most certainly didn't enjoy
it. But I remained silent, paralyzed by trepidation.

I felt dizzy, as if I was entering
a parallel universe in which every man in the world only wanted to be angry
with me and demonstrate that anger. I also felt sick to my stomach, and my
heart was breaking from thinking of how, just a minute ago, we'd been cuddling
on the mattress. I'd ruined our morning. Oh, if only I hadn't opened my big
mouth, we could have been making love right now instead of being at odds with
each other.

"I don't know," I
whispered, my body already going into survival mode, my mind already trying to
find that safe place, the one I'd go to when Adim let his anger out on me.

My safe place was that beautiful
spot by the river, the one that Friend and I would always walk along when I was
little and needed solace.

Oh, Jesus. Friend was Ree, I
reminded myself.

I gasped as my safe place vanished,
feeling the tears begin to well up in my eyes. I was a person without a safe
place, and after all my thoughts of inner strength and emotional independence,
I was back to being this pathetic, scared person.

"You
do
know," Ree
said in that quiet, angry voice, for the first time oblivious to how I was
feeling. He found his clothes that he'd shed last night and started pulling
them on.

I couldn't focus on our
conversation anymore. All I could think about was how I'd never heard him talk
to me like this, and it was unfamiliar and petrifying. He'd always been gentle,
loving, and understanding. And while I was aware of the fact that he wasn't
calling me names or hitting me, I was still chilled to the bone, still
completely miserable.

I made the mistake of looking up at
him. When our eyes met, my heart broke.

His eyes were angry and accusing.

"Stop," I pleaded. "I
don't want to talk about this."

"This is important, Morgan. We
need to discuss this." Maybe he wasn't shouting exactly, but his tone of
voice was so foreign to me. I just wanted my happy, loving Ree back.

The tears that had welled up in my
eyes began to spill out over my cheeks, and instead of wiping them away, I
scooted further away from him, which made me fall off the mattress. Still
refusing to look at him, I continued to scoot away on my butt until I hit the
wall, more tears creating a thin veil on my face. I hugged my knees to my chest
and didn't say another word. Where was my safe place? Home, with my parents?
Maybe, if they didn't hate me so much. Church? I've never felt safe there. My safe
place was always with Friend, and now, with that taken away from me, with
Friend no longer existing in the way that he used to, I was emotionally
homeless.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head
on the wall, only opening them when I heard our bedroom door open. Ree had left
our room.

"What?" I said quietly,
although there was no one to answer me. My tears still rolling down my face, I
stood up and followed him after hurriedly pulling on a t-shirt and panties.

When I got to the living room,
there were no signs of life anywhere. The sound of the garage door opening
prompted me to action. I sprinted out the front door and headed for the garage,
momentarily stunned by the freezing-cold weather hitting my near-naked body.

 Ree's Lamb came to life and backed
out of the garage after I moved out of the way. Before I knew it, he drove off,
speeding further and further away from the house at an insane velocity.

I ran back to our bedroom, closing
the door and leaning against it for a moment, trying to understand what had
just happened. He left. He really left me. I sobbed as I recalled his angry
eyes and the obvious change in his feelings for me. 

I couldn't think about that right
now. All I knew is that I had to get away from here, away from this place that
we shared together, a place that would only serve to remind me of the perfect
man who wasn't here with me anymore.

I began getting dressed, throwing
on jeans, a navy blue Mariners t-shirt, socks, sneakers, and a gray hoodie.
Then I took out my old backpack from the closet and stuffed in it a few days'
worth of clothes, along with a paperback that was sitting on my dresser
drawers. I would have to just contact Dess later to get the rest of my stuff
and explain what happened, once I figured out where I was going. I didn't want
to take my laptop. What would be the point? There wasn't anything I could do
with it that interested me right now, and there certainly wasn't anybody I
wanted to get in touch with over the internet. I grabbed my phone, turning it
off and stuffing it in my purse, and stuck the purse into my backpack with the
rest of the stuff. It barely fit, but I was able to zip it closed.

I opened my bedroom door slowly so
as not to make any noise, then tiptoed through and closed the door just as
agonizingly slow. It was a little silly being so quiet after Ree and I had made
so much noise, but I really didn't want Dess to wake up now, right when I was
about to leave. I couldn't handle the pain of having to think about Ree or what
had happened, not right now.

Putting both my backpack straps on,
I tiptoed through the empty kitchen, pausing near the front door, where all our
car keys hung on a series of wall hooks. I closed my hand around the keys and
lifted the ring carefully, then opened our front door. It squeaked a little,
and I paused to listen for hints of Dess coming out to investigate. When I didn't
hear anything, I finished opening the door, stepped through, and closed it just
as slowly.

I placed my house key in the lock
and locked the door. Once I made sure the house was safe, I walked to my blue
VW bug and got in, taking off my backpack and placing it on the seat next to
me.

I loved Dess like a sister, but
being in that house was painful. Talking to her would be just as painful
because, even though I didn't realize it when I first met them, they really did
look a lot alike, and being around her right now would make me feel close to
him yet extremely far away from him at the same time.

I started the engine and drove off,
wondering what would happen to my life.

Chapter 19

I stopped at the bank as soon as it
opened to deposit my final paycheck from Crafts Market. Thank goodness it was
enough to get me through the next couple of weeks, if I was careful. Of course,
I would have to find a job as soon as possible.

I checked into the local Extended
Stay, figuring it was probably the most inexpensive hotel in town. I didn't
know where else I could go and frankly, I didn't have the willpower or energy
to do any research. I had to admit it was pretty disheartening when I was asked
how many nights I would be staying and had no choice but to tell the lady that
I honestly didn't know. I must have looked especially pitiful and haggard,
because she just gave me a kind of sympathetic look, considered, and then spoke
again.

"Tell you what. I'll record
your room as being taken for a week, but I won't tie you down to it. Call the
front desk every morning to let us know you'll be staying another day, and when
you know if you'll be staying a lot longer—or when you'll be checking out—let
us know that as well."

That seemed to work. I nodded,
trying not to meet her eyes. I had imposed a sort of social shut-down mode upon
myself. I'd live a life of solitude and boring certainty for the rest of my
days.

"I put you in a corner room on
the top floor. It's pretty secluded in that area," she said, trying to
sound nonchalant, but I could tell she felt sorry for whatever situation she
thought I was in.

I looked at the nametag that was
pinned to her shirt. BREE, it said.

Great. Her name was my new
ex-boyfriend's name with a 'B' in front of it.

My ex-boyfriend, Ree.

God, no.

I managed to keep a stiff upper lip
while I signed a couple papers that she put in front of me. She stuck a little
credit card key into a paper envelope and wrote my room number on it. I mumbled
a 'thank you' quickly and turned around before she could see me break down.

"Take the elevator. It's on
the third floor," she called after me.

"Thank you," I said again
without turning to face her. I knew that was rude to do, but I didn't want
involve a perfect stranger in my bleak love life. I was in a hurry to be alone,
where I didn't have to deal with pretending to be nice to people.

The elevator took forever to
arrive. I got to the third floor and stuck my card in my room's slot, opening
the door and letting it close after me.

It was a small room, but was decent
for what I needed. Actually, it was nicer than my old studio apartment, but
that wasn't saying much. A three-or-four-foot wall partition sort of divided
the 'living' area and the sleeping area. There was a queen-size bed, dresser
drawers, a closet area, armchair, one nightstand on the right side, a tiny
square table pushed against one wall, and a little work desk on the bed's left
side. Two chairs on wheels were in the room—one at the work desk and the other
at the small square table, which I guessed was used for eating.

The part I liked the most, though,
was the kitchenette. It had a full-sized refrigerator, a cooktop, a microwave,
and a kitchen sink. A quick inspection of the kitchen cabinets revealed they
were equipped with cookware, utensils, plates, and even cups. A coffeemaker and
toaster stood on the countertop, waiting to be called into action. There were
also packets of ready-to-use coffee, sugar, sugar substitute, and powdered
creamer, and they were all practically begging me to put them to good use.