Strings (34 page)

             
‘What would you like to drink?’ he asked, but they both declined politely.

             
‘Oh, come on. I’ve had a bad day. Won't you girls help cheer me up? He went on to say that he’d been robbed earlier that day and had two hundred pounds taken while he was at Waterloo Station. He continued to intrude on their lunch, becoming more and more annoying as the minutes went by, and Beth quickly started to find it hard to stay polite.

             
‘Seriously mate, leave us alone,’ she finally said, but he ignored her and carried on staring and talking at Melissa.

             
‘So, do you want me to make you feel better? Your ex is a stupid fucking idiot. I would never cheat on you. Damn you are hot. How about you come home with me? I tell you what, come home with me and my friends and we can have a little party,’ he slurred.               The man’s hand was on Melissa’s leg and she hit it away.

‘I don't think so,’ she snapped. He laughed then asked her again, saying she should stay away from rock stars and hang with the big boys who actually made decent money.

              ‘Oi, cretin, she said no,’ Beth snapped, and glared at him. The day was completely ruined. What Melissa did not need right now was some moron treating her like a cheap whore. He then became rude, saying they thought they were better than him but in fact they were nothing but a couple of druggie cast-offs.

             
‘You can do better than some cheating druggie scumbag.’

             
‘He isn’t a scumbag...you don’t know him.’ The words jumped out of Melissa’s mouth instinctively, surprising her.

             
Beth leapt from her chair, calling the guy every name under the sun.

‘You don’t know them
or us, so keep your evil comments to yourself...if you believe everything you read in the papers then you really are fucking stupid.’ She jabbed her finger in his face, forcing him to take a step back. The guy was having his very own ‘Beth Watkins experience’ and it wasn’t fun. The bar had come to a standstill, and all eyes were on him as he was put in his place by a girl.

             
‘Look, it was just a joke,’ he tried to say.

             
‘It wasn't very funny. Now leave us alone. Anyone else want to comment on our lives?’ She turned and shouted across the busy bar, but predictably there was silence while everyone suddenly felt the need to look at their feet.

             
‘Good. None of you know shit about us. So keep your opinions to yourselves. My friend doesn't have to answer to any of you.’ She turned and grabbed her coat and bag, and they stormed out, leaving the audience open-mouthed and the guy wanting the ground to swallow him up.

             
‘For fuck’s sake,’ Beth cursed as they were chased down the street by cameras. Clearly the tweeters had been at it, telling the world exactly which bar they were in, and that there had been an incident unfolding. She pulled Melissa across the road, losing themselves in the crowd of tourists, before ducking into a quiet street where they finally lost their tail.

             
‘Don't cry babe. Remember, keep smiling. That’s what those bastards want, so not in the street, Liss, not in the street.’ She could cry all she wanted behind closed doors, but not in public for the world to laugh at. Melissa took a few deep breaths and swallowed her tears.

‘I'm trying so hard to be strong’ she said
, but it was almost a whisper. Beth told her she was doing great and everyone was proud of her. ‘But it's not working, Beth. I know I should just move on but I can't.’ She sat down on the pavement and lit another cigarette. She was still chain smoking, and drinking too much. A bottle of wine in the evening helped her sleep, she said, but for most people this would be just a glass.

             
Beth looked around them then crouched down beside her. They seemed safe from prying eyes for now.

‘You’re going to be fine.
..you know I’m always here for you. Best friends forever, OK?’

             
‘Until we die,’ Melissa replied.

             
‘Even after that – we’ll haunt people together.’ Beth did a rather lame impression of a ghost, making Melissa laugh and feel slightly better.

             
‘I miss him, Beth. I think about him every day and I cry because it hurts so much. I thought it was going to start to get easier, but the longer it goes on, the more I miss him. I don't know what to do.’

             
Beth wrapped her coat around Melissa, sensing that they needed to have an honest talk before she headed to LA. She’d suspected for some time that Melissa wasn't coping as well as she tried to make out. She had lost her spark.

             
Once they were back at Beth's, Melissa admitted that there was a part of her that wanted to believe Luke. Their connection hadn't broken, but was just strained. She couldn't break free from it, no matter how much distance was between them.

‘I’m falling in love with him more every day.’ The love
she had for him was still strong, and in her heart she wanted him back. But until he finally came clean and told her the truth, her head knew that there was no chance for them. She didn’t believe that he’d said those horrible things about her, but clearly something had happened that night. She just wished she could know for sure if he had slept with her.

             
‘I just want the truth from him ...’

*****

Once Beth had left for the airport, Melissa headed home. She felt better for being honest and talking it through. Beth had told her to talk to Luke if that was what she wanted. But she wasn't ready, and she knew it would be better to wait until he was home.

             
Jay-Den had tried calling her again. He had called a few times over the last month, but she had always ignored him and deleted his messages. He was the last person she wanted to speak to. His last message had been ridiculous. ‘Melissa, please talk to me. I know you’re hurting and I know it’s him you love. I realise me and you will never happen. But I’m here if you need anything ... I just want to help.’

             
She poured herself a glass of wine and smoked another cigarette while she ordered a takeaway. She hadn't cooked in weeks and she knew she wasn't eating properly, but she couldn’t be bothered. Cooking for one just seemed pointless, she thought, and it made her realise how lonely she was. 

             
Cassie called later that evening to check on her. She’d been so supportive. She made it very clear that she cared about them both, and she wouldn’t take sides over what had happened between them – she just wanted to be there for each of them as their friend.

             
‘I’m doing OK, Cass ... I think,’ Melissa said.

She didn't tell Cassie how she really felt because she had a feeling it might in some way get fed back to Luke, even if she didn't intend it to. And although
Cassie was being a good friend to Melissa she had been honest and told her that she did not believe that Luke did or said what Kelsey claimed. But she understood that it was up to Melissa to make her own decision.

             
‘He’s a mess, Liss. Won’t you please just call him, even if it’s to call him a twat?’

Luke would phone Cassie a lot when he felt down
, because she was a good listener, and for some reason he felt that with her he could open up about how he was feeling. He told her that he felt like a loser for being so cut up over a girl, and worried that he was losing the respect of the rest of the band. He also felt guilty because of his recent behaviour.

             
‘I don’t know, Cass ...’

             
‘At least think about it, yeah?’

             
‘OK. Maybe.’ It was all she could give right now. In truth she knew if she heard his voice, even for a second, it would make things so much harder. If there were issues with the band, that wasn’t her responsibility. It was Ray’s job, she kept telling herself. But deep down she knew she could change everything with just three words.

‘
I forgive you,’ wasn’t something she was ready to say yet, even if it seemed lately that she was losing everything and everyone around her. She wasn't really part of the group any more, and she felt like a burden to Beth and her family. The thought of losing the friends she loved so much made her feel even more depressed. She would miss Luke most because deep down she loved him no matter what had happened. He had been such a huge part of her life. She would see Dale because of Beth, so she would always have him in her life. But she loved Toby and Tom like they were her big brothers too. Her heart sank all over again as the realisation dawned on her that even Cassie would eventually move on from her as her career and life on the road took over.

             
She knew she couldn’t go on like this.

Brass neck

July 2014

The taxi ride made Kelsey feel even more nervous and she thought she might be sick. She’d been walking around for hours, trying to find enough courage to go through with her plan. This was the last place she thought she would ever visit.

‘Just drop me here,’ she said
to the driver, and threw a handful of notes at him before getting out without waiting for her change.

             
The walk up the street gave her a little time to compose herself, although she nearly turned back a few times. But she had come this far, and knew she had to go through with it. It was the right thing to do.

             
The lights were on and through the window Kelsey could see Melissa was on the phone in deep conversation with someone, only she didn't look happy. Kelsey was scared but she had come a long way and she couldn’t back out now.

             
‘Oh damn ... sorry, Cassie, I have to go,’ Melissa ended their conversation as she heard the doorbell ring, promising to call back in a few days. She promised again that she would think about talking to Luke.

             
‘Mum, if this is you checking…’ her sentence was cut short and she fell silent for a moment as her brain processed what she saw in front of her. This was the last person she expected to see.

‘What the fuck do you want?’ Kelsey
stood in her doorway, and immediately held her hands up, explaining that she wasn't there to cause trouble, she just wanted to talk to her.

‘Talk to me about what?’ The glare from Melissa was almost murderous.

              ‘About what happened with me and Luke.’

             
The mention of his name made Melissa look and feel as though she had just been punched, but Kelsey felt even worse as she looked back at her, because she could now see first-hand the damage her actions had caused.

             
‘What is there to talk about? What more do I need to know apart from you screwed my boyfriend, took photos, told the entire world in exchange for cash, humiliated me and ruined my life?’ Melissa’s tired mind had caught up with the situation, and she bellowed at Kelsey before moving to slam the door in her face. But Kelsey stopped her by putting her foot in the way, and yanking it back open.

             
‘Melissa, please five minutes, just give me five minutes to explain it all, there’s more to it than you think,’ Kelsey begged her. She had to tell her the full truth.

             
‘I’m not interested in the gory details of your amazing night with
my
boyfriend!’ She hadn’t thought for a moment the girl would have the brass neck to show up on her doorstep. It was unbelievable.

‘You’re nothing but a whore.
..now get away from my house or I’ll call the police,’ she snapped as she tried again to slam the door shut.

             
‘I lied!’ Kelsey yelled. ‘I'm so sorry, Melissa, but I lied.’ She backed up a few steps and fell silent, to let this sink in.

             
Melissa was momentarily dumbstruck.

‘Get inside,’
she ordered as she grabbed her and dragged her into the house. This was not a conversation to be having in the street.

‘Lied about what exactly?’
Melissa snapped, as she pushed the girl through to the living room. Kelsey stood there, looking pathetically at the floor, like a child in trouble with her parents, too ashamed to look at Melissa.

‘Well
?’ Melissa yelled.

             
Kelsey jumped, and tried to compose herself as Melissa stood waiting. She was shaking like a leaf. She finally looked up.

‘I'm sorry, but I never slept with Luke,’ she whispered.

              Melissa heard her words as clear as a bell, and she listened as Kelsey explained how she had set him up. Luke had never cheated, and he was telling the truth about not remembering. She’d drugged him with enough GHB to knock out a horse.

             
‘You did what?’ Melissa shrieked as she charged across the room and punched Kelsey so hard, she fell back onto the sofa behind her.

Melissa shook with rage. She had been wrong
all along, and felt sick that she hadn’t believed and trusted Luke. After all that had happened, it was actually she who had destroyed their trust, not him.

             
‘I really am so sorry,’ Kelsey pleaded as she rubbed her face where a bruise was already beginning to show. For a small girl, Melissa certainly packed a punch, Kelsey thought.

             
‘Sorry? You’re fucking sorry?’ she screamed. ‘Well that’s just all fine and dandy then isn’t it? Why the hell would you do an evil thing like that?’ 

             
Kelsey sat up, tears streaming down her face, and explained that she’d been begging outside Waterloo station when she was approached by someone who said that if she did them a small favour they would pay her four grand. All she had to do was take some photos and hand them over then disappear for a while.

             
‘I didn't know who it was at first. I just thought four grand to take some pictures -brilliant.’

             
She went on to tell Melissa that the photos were taken and handed over, but she never saw a penny of the promised money. She admitted that going to the newspaper wasn’t part of the plan, and she had done that off her own bat. They paid her £1,000 for the story.

             
‘You drugged him, then what? Staged those photos while he was passed out?’ she asked.

             
Kelsey nodded and looked at the floor. Melissa leapt at her, holding her down, screaming at her while she shook her violently.

‘You sick twisted
, evil bitch! You don't know what you’ve done! You could have killed him,’ Melissa screamed. ‘Have you seen the mess he’s in?’

             
Kelsey knew from the reports in the media that he was in a bad way. It was one of the reasons she couldn’t continue with her lies.

‘I know. I hate myself more than you could ever imagine,’
she murmured, breathless. ‘I don't really know what you did to this Amber but—’

             
‘Amber!’ Melissa shuddered at the mention of the name.

             
Then it all fell into place as Kelsey explained how it was Amber who had approached her. She’d told Kelsey her deluded story of Luke being her sweetheart, and being stolen from her.

‘That girl is scary. She talks to herself
loads, and she’s got hundreds of picture of him,’ she said, laughing out of nervousness and fear. 

             
Melissa wasn't laughing, and Kelsey stopped quickly.

‘I don't understand how you even got to his room.’
Melissa wanted the full story from Kelsey before she decided what to do with her.

             
Kelsey told her that she’d been instructed to meet Amber in a car park a few streets from the hotel. Amber had handed over a spare room key and the bottle of GHB. The plan was to wait in the hotel bar until they left for the O2, then get to his room without being seen, and find a way to hide until he returned. Amber knew Melissa and Beth wouldn't be there because it was Melissa’s mum’s 50th birthday and they were celebrating with her, so they were well out of the way. Kelsey had to wait until around two in the morning before she heard Luke and Dale heading back to their rooms.

They were laughing and joking and seemed to have been having a good time. Luke was a bit drunk, and staggered into the room alone. He’d opened a beer then phoned Melissa,
but she’d been asleep so he’d left her a message simply saying
that he hoped her mum had enjoyed her birthday, he missed her and he would be home tomorrow. And that he loved her
.

             
‘He left his beer inside and went out onto the balcony,’ Kelsey continued. And that was when she crept out and put the GHB in his beer. She didn't know how much to put in, so she had tipped half the bottle in, then hid back in the wardrobe.

‘
He eventually came back in, picked up his guitar and sat on the floor, playing for a bit.’ Kelsey stopped for a second and looked at Melissa who was just speechless.

‘He’s really good. I watched through the gaps as he scribbled in his book and tried different chords. You
have a very talented and lovely boyfriend.’

             
‘I did have. But you ripped us apart,’ Melissa hissed.

             
Kelsey said he seemed drunk, but had no problem playing. Melissa laughed for a brief moment as she thought about him - he could drink gallons of beer like it was water, and still be able to play perfectly.

Melissa missed hearing him play,
she missed the stopping and starting, the note taking and muttering, even if back then she’d found it irritating.

‘Just play the goddam song,
babe,’ she would say.

‘Hush, woman, I’m wor
king on a masterpiece,’ would be his usual response.

             
She realised she was smiling, but it only lasted a second.

‘Get out of my house!’ Melissa yelled,
her blood coming back to the boil. She had given this girl enough of her time already. She had to get to Luke and fix things.

             
‘Melissa, have you ever been scared?’

             
‘What has that got to do with anything?’

             
‘Everything. It has everything to do with it. I wouldn’t have done this if I wasn't desperate and scared. I watched him and saw how different he was to what I’d read about him. And then that message he left you proved how close you were. He called you before he went to sleep – he wasn’t partying with groupies like we were led to believe. I argued with myself but when you’ve no other option, you’ll do anything to survive. If you’d been in the situation I’m in, you’d understand.’

Kelsey sobbed again and
explained that Luke drank his beer as he played, but then his behaviour quickly changed as the drug took effect. It was awful to watch. He didn’t seem to be able to focus, and he couldn’t walk properly. It took about ten minutes before he was knocked out completely and collapsed on the bed.

Then she’d
set up a camera and taken the photos, making sure they looked bad enough, to be credible, but good enough that he could be clearly recognised. All the while, he was out cold, and had no idea what was happening.

             
‘What else did you do to him?’ Melissa yelled, feeling sick at the thought of him being treated like this. It was sexual assault. If it had been a woman subjected to such an attack, they’d throw away the key, she thought. Kelsey assured her that she didn’t do anything else, and she would now do anything to put it right.

             
‘You can’t fix this, the damage is done. You stay away from him, from us.’

Melissa stopped yelling and sat back down
. She felt terrible that she had pushed him away when he needed her most. She had let him down.

             
‘I don't know what else to say, but sorry,’ Kelsey whispered. Melissa was about to grab her and throw her out, but the sobs poured from her and she collapsed to the floor, crying like a toddler. It was a horrible, desperate sound and Melissa stopped.

             
‘Please don't make me go back to him. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I’ve nothing and no one at all, and I’m so frightened. I’ll do anything. I’ll shout it from the rooftops if I have to,’ she wailed.

             
‘Don’t make you go back to who?’ Melissa asked, kneeling down next to the sobbing girl as her awful story poured out. She told Melissa about the way Darren called himself her boyfriend but in reality was her pimp, how she couldn't get away from him and that she didn't want to do those things any more. But saying no was not an option. If she upset Darren or his friends, he would beat her.

             
‘That doesn't excuse what you did. We didn't deserve it. Couldn't you ask your family to help you?’ Melissa was trying not to weaken at the sob story, but it was hard not to feel some sympathy for her. She seemed to be telling the truth now.

Kelsey
explained that she didn't know who her parents were. Foster home after foster home had been her life from an early age.

             
‘You can work things out with Luke, now you know the truth,’ Kelsey said.

             
‘Let's hope so,’ Melissa replied.

             
The two girls sat on the floor and Kelsey told her the rest of the details of the story, warning Melissa to be careful because she really thought Amber was nuts. Amber had gone off at Kelsey a few times.