Authors: Barbara Ashford
In an instant, her expression shifted to one of apparent delight. It always amazed me. I was the actress with a face that gave everything away, while Nancy—the most sincere person in the world—could convince a sunbathing meteorologist that it was going to snow.
I just prayed she could snow my mother.
“I was lecturing Maggie about working too hard,” Nancy said. “Right lecture, wrong time. You should already be at the theatre,” she scolded. “You’ve got to warm up the cast.”
“Warm-ups can wait,” my mother said. “What’s going on, Maggie? You’ve been as jumpy as a cat ever since I arrived.”
“Hey, it’s been a tough week and—”
“It’s more than that and you know it. More to the point, I know it. You’re acting evasive. Just like you were that first summer here.”
“Maybe this should wait until after the show,” Nancy suggested.
“I thought we were through with that,” my mother continued, as relentless as the pit bull Rowan had once called me. “The secrets. The lies. I can’t do that again, Maggie. I
won’t
do it. If something’s bothering you, then for God’s sake, just come out and—”
“Rowan’s back.”
My mother’s eyes widened. Then her lips compressed into a hard line.
“Rowan?” Nancy said. “Came back?”
I nodded, all my attention focused on Mom. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away, but I know you’ve always had…reservations about him. And I wanted us to have a good time this weekend.”
“I can’t believe it,” Nancy said.
“Imagine how I—”
“Who does he think he is?”
Nancy’s vehemence left me speechless; I thought she would be on my side.
“You haven’t heard boo from him since he left and now he waltzes back into your life?”
“He needed time. To figure things out. And be sure of his feelings.”
“What about
your
feelings?”
“He loves me, Nance.”
Her expression softened. “I knew that two years ago. But he still left.”
“It all happened too fast. We weren’t ready.”
“And now you are?”
“Yes.”
The quiet certainty in my voice silenced her. Mom’s face was blank—as if she’d borrowed Rowan’s expressionless mask.
“Say something!”
“What do you want me to say? You know how I feel about that man.”
“Give him a chance, Mom.”
“To do what? Break your heart a second time?”
“That won’t happen.”
She gave a harsh, brittle laugh. “You know who you sound like? Me. Thirty years ago.”
“It’s nothing like—”
“Enough. I’m not going to change your mind about Rowan Mackenzie and you’re certainly not going to change mine about him.”
“Will you at least talk with him? Will you do that much for me?”
She opened her mouth, closed it again, then snapped, “Fine.”
With that, she stalked into the house. I just stood there, already regretting the impulse that had led me to suggest that she and Rowan meet. But I couldn’t let her go home without trying to convince her of his sincerity.
Aware of Nancy’s concerned gaze, I managed an unconvincing laugh. “That went well.”
“She’ll come around.”
“In another ten or fifteen years.”
I’d worry about winning her over later. First, I had a show to deal with.
Then I realized I had an even more pressing need.
“Do me a favor, Nance? I’ve got to talk with Janet. Could you go to the theatre and tell Reinhard I’ll be down in five minutes?”
“If you want me to wait for you…”
“No. Thanks. Just keep Reinhard from pulling out all his hair.”
I didn’t have to search for Janet. Seconds after Nancy disappeared into the house, she strode onto the patio and demanded, “What happened?”
“I spilled the beans. About Rowan. I had to! Mom and Nancy knew something was up and Mom was going nuts and—”
“Just once, I wish you were as good an actress offstage as you are on.”
“Tell me about it.”
“How’s Alison?”
“Tickled pink.” I dropped the sarcasm and gave Janet the highlights, adding, “I’ll have to go to the cottage tomorrow morning and fetch Rowan. Unless…could you call him?”
“Call him?”
“You know. The way you…communicate with each other.”
“On our magic faery phones?”
“Well, I don’t know how it works!”
“Not like that.”
“Then I’ll go—”
“No. I will. Someone has to stay with Jack.”
“Right. God. I’m sorry I made a mess of things.”
“Please. This barely rates a “three” in the long list of Crossroads Theatre crises. Come on. Reinhard’s hair will be standing on end.”
As we hurried down the hill, I admitted, “I know this
wasn’t what we planned, but I’m glad it’s all out in the open with Mom.”
“Except the part about her traumatized ex-husband camping out in the woods with your faery lover who rescued him from shapeshifters in the Borderlands.”
“Yeah. Except that part.”
T
HE NEXT MORNING, ROWAN WAS WAITING for us in the picnic area. He must have ducked into the apartment for a quick shower, because his hair was still damp. As my mother scrutinized him, I realized that his eyes were their usual green instead of the muddy hazel his Fae glamour had made them appear at their first meeting.
Did he think she’d be too pissed off to notice? Or hope that the passage of time had dimmed her memory? He could always claim that he’d gotten contact lenses, but it wasn’t like him to be so careless. He must have wanted her to see him as he truly was.
As they nodded to each other, I jumped in to introduce Chris, adding, “He’s a lawyer. And Mom’s…um…gentleman friend.”
“I trust you’re not here in a professional capacity,” Rowan said, shaking Chris’ hand.
“I think I’m the designated referee.”
“Don’t be silly,” I lied. “You’re practically a member of the family.”
“A position I have not yet achieved,” Rowan said.
“No,” my mother replied. “Since Chris has been part of our lives for the last two years, while you were—”
“In absentia. Yes. Shall we sit?” Rowan gestured to a picnic table. “Or we can go up to my apartment if you prefer.”
“No. Let’s just get this over with.”
“Mom…”
“Maggie says she loves you, Mr. Mackenzie. And that you love her. While that might reassure her, it’s not good enough for me. You hurt her deeply when you left. More deeply than I think you realize.”
“It was a painful decision. For both of us.”
“And now you realize it was a mistake?”
“No. It was the right decision. At the time. But people change, Mrs. Graham.”
“Some do. Others suffer disappointments and scurry back to familiar places—and familiar people.”
Rowan stiffened. “If you’re implying that I came back because I was afraid no one else would have me—”
“I’m saying that if you’re not in this for the long haul, it would be kinder to walk away now, instead of putting Maggie through that pain again.”
“You’re asking for guarantees that neither Maggie nor I can give you. I can only tell you what I told the staff: I love Maggie. I want to build a life with her. And I will do everything in my power to make her happy.”
“It takes more than love to keep a relationship going. It takes hard work and commitment. If you’re going to run at the first sign of trouble—”
“I am not Jack Sinclair.”
Mom’s breath hissed in.
“When I make a commitment, I stick to it. And I’m sticking to Maggie. I realize I’ve given you little reason to trust me. And I’ll do my best to change that. But please understand that neither your distrust nor your lectures will drive me away. They will only create a deeper rift between us and make your daughter miserable. So I suggest we keep a respectful distance and allow Maggie to decide if I am the right man for her.”
Their eyes locked in a challenging stare. Chris and I watched them anxiously, heads swiveling back and forth like spectators at a particularly lethal tennis match.
“Fine,” Mom snapped. “Is there anything else?”
“Just this.”
Rowan reached into the back pocket of his jeans and held out a silver spoon.
My mother’s face underwent several rapid changes of expression before settling back into a frown.
“A teaspoon?” she inquired. “After that speech, I expected a gravy ladle.”
“I didn’t want to appear boastful.”
Instead of smiling, she merely plucked the spoon from his fingers.
“The entire staff is looking out for Maggie. And if I screw this up, they’ll all be lining up for a piece of me. But I promise you’ll get first crack.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” She favored me with a radiant smile. “It was a wonderful show, Maggie. No one could have done a better job.”
With that final dig at Rowan, she turned on her heel and marched toward the parking lot.
“Hang in there,” Chris said as he shook Rowan’s hand. “Graham women are a tough sell.”
“I know. I’m in love with one, too.”
Mom’s hug was longer than usual, but all she said was, “If you need anything, call.”
I waved until the car crested the lane, then walked back to Rowan.
“I’m beginning to feel I should pin a sign on my chest: ‘Did not come back to hurt Maggie.’”
“The staff never said—”
“No. But they’re as worried as your mother. And with the exception of Hal and Catherine, they’ve allowed me to stay out of a sense of duty—and because they love you too much to turn me away.”
“That’s not true,” I protested.
“Do
you
think I’ll hurt you again? Or walk out?”
“You promised you wouldn’t walk out. That’s good
enough for me. As for being afraid you’ll hurt me…it’s more of a generalized terror.”
“Well, now I feel better.”
“Hey, it’s hard enough for humans to build a lasting relationship, never mind a human and a Fae. And I’ve never been good at the ‘one day at a time’ thing. I want to fast forward to the happy ever after.”
“You want the Act One finale of
Into the Woods
.”
“Who wouldn’t? Happy ending. Journey over. Yadda, yadda.”
“The journey’s never over,” Rowan assured me solemnly.
“I know. It’s one of the more annoying things about life. And if you give me any crap about what a wonderful adventure it is, I’m going to punch you.”
“How about the discoveries we can make about ourselves along the way?”
I punched him. He grinned. I grinned back. Then I noticed his bulging knapsack sitting atop one of the picnic tables.
As I struggled to quell the blind rush of panic, Rowan said, “I think Jack and I need a few more days at the cottage. He’s too easily distracted here. When he heard the pit band Thursday night, it was all I could do to keep him from running down to the stage.”
“But after today’s matinee, there won’t be a show again until Wednesday. If you bring him back this evening—”
“It will be less distracting for me, too,” he said with a smile.
For a moment, I basked in my distracting Aphrodite sensuality. Then my inner Athena yanked me down to earth.
“You don’t want me around while you’re brainwashing Daddy.”
“I hate that word.”
“So do I! But whether we call it brainwashing or helping Daddy heal, it still amounts to wiping out his memories.”
“I might be able to banish some of his memories, but not years of his life. Even if my power were strong enough, I wouldn’t risk it. I might damage him forever.”
“Then what are you going to do?”
“After he encountered my clan, I took the memories from him, as much to protect myself as him. This time, he deserves to choose. And to understand the role he’ll have to play if he’s going to live with his memories. Maybe it will help him to think of it that way—preparing for yet another role. But his performance will have to be believable enough to convince everyone. Especially your mother.”
“Maybe he just wants to forget the Borderlands.”
“The bad experiences, perhaps. But some of it was beautiful. And all of it was magical. He spent half his life looking for that magic. Do you really think he’ll give it up?”
“Why can’t he be content with
this
world?”
I sounded like a petulant child. Next I’d be exclaiming, “I want my Daddy back!” But I
did
want my Daddy back, even though I knew that was impossible.
“He’s a restless soul, Maggie. I can’t change his nature.”
“I know. I just want…”
Everything to be the way it was when I was a child.
“Tell me,” Rowan urged.
I sighed. “I want you to blow some fairy dust on him and make everything perfect. And then we can all fly away to Never Never Land.”
When Rowan’s lips puckered, I thought he really
might
blow fairy dust over me. Instead, he kissed me gently on the forehead, then drew me into his arms.
Calm washed over me and with it, his reassurance that even if he couldn’t make everything perfect, we would face whatever happened together.
“Better?” he asked as he stepped back.
“Better. But…”
“What?”
“How’s Daddy supposed to find his place in the world if he’s hiding out in the woods?”
“It’s only for a week.”