Signs of Love (13 page)

It was at times like these she was reminded how much she had to be grateful for. Sure her lifestyle now was nowhere near what she'd grown up with or even had when she'd lived with Craig, but her boy was healthy and happy. They were safe. They had a home. She glanced over to where Caden still sat, his nose in the book he held.

Yes, she was blessed.

~*~*~

"Where is your head at, man?" Justin slammed his fists onto his hips and glared at the guy bent over beside him, his hands braced on his knees.

Sweat slid down Justin's forehead and dripped into his eyes. Blinking away the sting, he lifted his arm to use his sleeve to wipe away the perspiration from his brow. "We never lose."

Than straightened and took a deep breath. The usually well-groomed man was a mess. Splatters from the volley of paintballs he'd taken from the opposing team spread across every part of his body. He took a swipe at a hunk of black hair that fell over his dark eyes, leaving a mixture of paint and mud across his forehead. "Sorry, dude."

"Sorry?" Justin jerked his hand toward where the opposing team had gathered. "You just handed out the first victory ever against the BlackThorpe team. Do you have any idea how many years it's gonna take to live that one down?"

They didn't always use paintball weapons since they had laser ones available, but every once in a while they'd pull them out. Usually, no matter what the weapon of choice, they won, but this time, the winning team was a military one who had come to BlackThorpe to do some training before their next mission. They were definitely going to take bragging rights and run with them. Yeah, it was going to take a while to live this one down.

Justin crossed his arms and stared at Than. The man truly did look miserable. "Still no word from the lovely Lindsay?"

Than's brows drew together as he gave a quick shake of his head. "When she asked for a little time, I thought maybe a day or two not ten."

"Maybe you should have given her a more precise time frame."

"Seriously?" Than gave him an exasperated look. "You think I'm going to take advice about women from you? When was the last time you took a woman out on a date?"

The man had a point. He didn't really understand women any better than the next guy. His own sister left him totally mystified sometimes. "Then I guess I should say better you than me?"

That got him another look, but Justin just laughed and slapped Than on the back. "Let's go get cleaned up and brace ourselves for the gloating."

Justin had planned to go to Beth's for supper but when the exercise had turned super competitive, he'd texted her on one of their breaks that he couldn't make it. And he was glad now that he had because all he wanted was a long hot shower, not just to wash away all the paint but to ease the aches from the harder-than-usual workout.

In addition to Than, his group had included Alex, Trent and two of his team at the compound. Though the three guys were mainly desk jockeys, they worked to keep their skills up and usually the six of them were a good team. Justin shook his head. Taken down by a lovesick guy. He felt a bit of sympathy for the other man, but not enough to prevent him from ribbing Than about it every chance he got.

As he stood in front of his open fridge looking for something to eat after his shower, Justin thought of the time he'd be spending with Alana and Caden the next afternoon. He was still trying to figure out his reactions to the pair. If he didn't have room in his life for a woman, he certainly didn't have room for a woman and a child. There was no sense in allowing any thoughts but those viewing her as Beth's friend to enter his mind.

That protective side of his nature had tried to convince him that Alana and Caden needed him to keep them safe, but Justin knew better. He would give Alana the tools to protect herself and Caden, because, given her past, that was the best thing he could do for her. And in return, she'd give him the ability to communicate with his niece.

And Caden.

Justin shut the fridge door with a little more force than necessary. If truth be told, he'd been struggling with his own distraction throughout the exercise earlier. Fortunately for him, he'd practiced the moves and positions so often his body had reacted even when his mind had been a little slow on the uptake.

And if he was honest with himself, his decision to skip supper that evening had been partly avoidance. After the previous week when he'd wanted to prolong their time together, Justin had a little talk with himself about letting his thoughts and emotions go in that direction. He couldn't go back on his promise to help them, but he could limit the other time he spent with them until he got a handle on what was going on inside of him.

The next afternoon Justin met Alana and Caden down by the main desk. Alana wore her usual outfit of a long skirt and a loose, long-sleeve blouse, but she clutched a bag that Justin hoped included clothes more appropriate for what they would be doing.

Hi, Justin
!

Justin grinned when he realized he understood the two signs Caden had just made. "Hi, Caden." He lifted his gaze to Alana, not too surprised to see wariness in her eyes. "Hi. So do you want to do the sign language part first?"

Alana nodded. "That would probably be best."

Justin led the way into the elevator and once the doors closed and the car began to rise, he said, "No problems with security this time?"

She shook her head. "Caden enjoyed having his hand scanned."

"Good. I figured that would be the easiest way to give you access to the complex."

The elevator came to a stop and the doors silently opened. The floor was empty as he led them to the small board room where he'd set up the gaming system for Caden earlier. He figured that since the boy wouldn't need to have the sound on, he could be in the same room as them. Not that Alana was likely to let him out of her sight regardless.

He took a few minutes to show Caden the games he'd brought. After what appeared to be some internal debate, Caden pointed out the one he wanted. Justin got it set up and then handed him the cordless controller.

"Does he know what to do?" Justin asked as he glanced over his shoulder to where Alana stood watching them.

"Yes. I think he'll be fine."

Justin watched for a minute and saw that Alana was right. Caden was soon starting a race of some sort on the screen. Satisfied that he would be okay, he turned his attention to the woman hovering a few feet away from him. "Ready to teach me some sign language?"

She stared at him for a moment, her green eyes large in her face. "Uh...yep."

Justin motioned to the end of the table furthest from Caden. "Why don't we sit there?"

Alana followed and claimed a seat across the table from him. She opened her bag and took out a binder and laid it on the table in front of her. When she looked at him, her gaze was more focused. "I figured I'd give you a bit of an overview before we get down to the actual signs."

As she explained the grammar of sign language and a few other things, Justin felt a bit of tension creep up his shoulders into his neck. His strengths did not lie in this area. He really didn't want to make a fool of himself as he struggled to learn even the most basic signs.

"I'm going to teach you what I've taught Daniel and Beth so far. Because Genevieve is so young, you can get away with some fairly simple signs at first, but we'll move on from those once you're comfortable with them." She slid a piece of paper across the table to him.

Justin reached out and pulled it close so he could look at it. There were drawings of what he assumed were the first signs he would be learning.

"We're going to concentrate on the top five today which are mom, dad, milk, eat and more. Those are signs Genevieve is already doing so at this point it's probably more about you understanding her when she makes those signs so you know what she's asking for."

Over the next half hour, Alana showed him the signs, repeating them with her hands and watching without a spark of judgment or impatience on her face as he fumbled his way through them. Justin was aware it would take time for him to grasp it, but he sure hoped that at some point his hands would move with more fluidity and less stiffness.

At the end of the thirty minutes, Alana gave him a smile. "That's great! Now when you're with Genevieve and you see her making these signs, you'll know what—or who—she’s wanting. Keep practicing them this week. We'll add a few more next time we're here."

Justin knew he was scowling, but he couldn't help it. Did she really think he'd done well? Or was she just trying to keep him upbeat and not discourage him? He sure didn't feel like he'd done all that great, and he was very relieved they were finished this part of their teaching deal. Now they would move into an area where he was much more confident, but first he needed to clarify something with her.

He shifted in his chair and cleared his throat. "I'm not sure how to ask this, but it came to mind that it's something I needed to address."

Alana sank back into her chair, her brows drawn together, but she didn't say anything.

“I was...uh...wondering if Caden had been witness to any of the abuse you endured." Justin hated to bring this up, but he felt it was something he had to know before they went on to the self-defense lessons.

Alana's face paled as she crossed her arms over her stomach. "Why does it matter?"

Justin leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the table. "Because part of the self-defense training involves you being approached in such a way that you can practice the moves. I don't want to trigger anything if it brings back a memory that could be harmful to him. In fact, that's true for you as well."

She caught her lower lip between her teeth as her gaze shot briefly to where Caden sat with his back to them. "We'll both be fine."

"You're sure? I think it's important you learn to defend yourself, but not if it's going to bring back bad memories for you or Caden."

Alana straightened, pulling her shoulders back. "We'll be fine. I talked to Caden about what would be happening. He understands what we'll be doing."

Justin stared at her, wanting to make sure she really was okay with it. In the end though, all he could do was take her at her word. "Okay. Let's see if Caden's willing to wrap it up so we can head down to the gym."

Once they'd pried Caden away from the game, they headed down to the floor where the gym was. He'd put out word earlier that the gym was off limits for part of the afternoon.

"The change room for women is through there," Justin said as he pointed toward the door to their right. "Caden can sit on the bench over there if he'd like. Or he can sit on the mat near us. Whatever you and he will be most comfortable with."

Alana reached into her bag and pulled out a tablet. "I brought this in case he gets bored."

"Does he need it connected to the wireless so he can get on the internet?" Justin asked as he held out his hand for it.

Alana hesitated and then let him take it from her. "He can access his games without the internet."

As he looked at the tablet, Justin realized it was an older model. Without making a comment or touching the screen to bring it to life, Justin handed it to Caden. "Can you ask him where he wants to sit?"

She set the bag on the floor and signed to him. When he signed back, she said, "He said he'll sit on the bench."

"Okay. I'll stay with him until you've changed."

Alana signed something more to Caden and he nodded and looked up at Justin with a grin.

"I'll be back in a minute."

Justin rested his hand on Caden's shoulder as they walked to the bench and sat down. Caden tucked his legs cross-legged under him then bent over the tablet for a minute, tapping on the screen. Justin couldn't see past his tousled curls to what he was doing. When Caden lifted his head, he handed the tablet to Justin.

Justin glanced at him and then looked down at the tablet. Caden had opened a program where he could type, and he had tapped out a question for Justin.

Are you going to teach my mom to fight bad guys?

Justin thought about nodding as his answer but then decided to take advantage of this way of communication with the little guy.

Yes. I will teach her things that will help her protect herself and you too
.

He handed the tablet back to Caden, wondering as he did if a seven-year-old was usually that good at reading and writing. Caden bent over the tablet again, resting it in his lap so his hands were free.

When Justin looked the question once Caden handed it to him again, his stomach clenched.

Mom said it would look like you were attacking her, but you wouldn't hurt her. Is she right? You won't hurt her?

His gaze met Caden's and this time there was no smile on the boy's face, just a serious questioning look in his eyes.

I won't hurt her. I promise.

When Caden read his answer, the smile was back and it reached clear to his eyes. Then he quickly typed out another message and handed it back to Justin.

Thank you. I love my mom. I don't want her hurt again.

Justin's  stomach rolled at the last word Caden had typed.
Again
. So he had seen the hurt she'd endured because of the abuse. Justin swallowed hard and typed,
You're a good son to want to protect your mom, Caden. I know she's proud of you.