Shielder — A new Science Fiction Romance (Book 1, Shielder Series) (21 page)

Even half a season seemed far too long to
Nessa. "Why can't Brand speak? Raven said he used to talk."

"It's probably not a physical condition, but
a psychological one, caused by trauma. Hopefully, when he begins to
feel safe, when the memories start to fade, he'll talk again."

Nessa leaned forward anxiously. She
remembered so little about taking care of children. "How can we
reassure him that he's safe with us?"

"By our actions. With patience and kindness,
a lot of affection and a lot of touching. We need to hold and hug
the children as much as possible."

His statement seemed odd to her. Not just
because he was a shadower, but because Shielders did not
customarily show much affection toward one another. "Why
touching?"

Pensive, Chase stared toward the starboard
portal. "Because human touch is healing. Even with the medical
advances of our age, nothing can surpass the power of loving,
physical contact."

Physical contact. Nessa had certainly
learned how electrifying that could be. She cleared her throat. "Is
Raven okay?"

"Physically, she's fine. Emotionally, she
appears to be dealing with her slavery experience better than
Brand, although we might see signs of delayed post-traumatic
stress. From her physical development, I suspect she'll be entering
the transition into womanhood soon. She's going to need a mother
figure. Someone to explain menses, to prepare her for the changes
she'll go through."

A sudden memory bombarded Nessa, the memory
of when her own cycle had started. She'd been terrified, because
she had no idea what was happening to her body. She'd been alone,
without parents for more than a season when that happened. Jarek
had been the one to explain she wasn't dying, only growing up.

She vowed to herself that wouldn't happen to
Raven. "I'll take care of Raven. I'll explain everything to
her."

Chase steepled his fingers beneath his chin.
"You're barely out of childhood yourself. What do you know about
being a mother?"

She never would know—at least not as a
biological mother. The painful reminder blazed through her. "Giving
physical birth to a child doesn't automatically make a woman a good
mother," she retorted, battling the ever-present bitterness from
her own mother's desertion. "I do understand children. I used to
take care of the younger ones in our clan, until—" The overwhelming
memories kept her from continuing, and she bit her lip.

"Until your injury." He watched her, a
wealth of understanding in his eyes.

She looked away. She preferred his anger
over his pity. "Please, let me help care for Raven and Brand. I'll
talk with Raven about the coming changes, and look for some
information she can read on the computer."

He considered a moment. "All right. But
understand this, Nessa. If you overstep your bounds one more time,
your time will be spent in the brig."

Rising, he pulled her from her seat. "Come
on. We're going to the galley. I'm going to show you how to operate
the food replicator. I'm assigning you all galley duties—cooking
and clean up. Then, after the morning meal, you can take the
portable sterilizer and disinfect the ship. No telling what
microorganisms you and the children tracked in, and I don't know if
the air filtration system will catch it all."

So her duties were beginning. Nessa wondered
just how far those duties would go, especially tonight.
Anticipation hummed through her body. Shocked, she forced all
thoughts of last night from her mind.

She was a Shielder, with a crucial mission
to complete. She couldn't entertain a physical attraction for
anyone, much less a shadower.

* * * *

Operating a food replicator proved to be a
fairly simple process, and Nessa learned the basics quickly. Within
half an hour, she was able to produce simple items like bread,
cheese, and a dark tea Chase liked. Learning the program codes for
the numerous other items the replicator could create would take a
little more time.

They brought the children into the galley
for the meal. Chase wanted them to become comfortable moving around
the ship instead of burrowing in Nessa's cabin like frightened
animals.

Before the children left the cabin, he
fashioned makeshift tunics out of their blankets. He made Brand's
first, cutting a hole for his head, then slipping the blanket on
poncho style and tying it at the little boy's waist with a piece of
cord. He did the same for Raven.

In the galley, Brand huddled on the bench,
eating very little. Chase wrapped his leftovers in a napkin for
him. "This is your food," he told Brand, "You can take it with you,
and eat whenever you want. But I expect you to begin eating more
during our meals in the galley, okay?"

Observing this, Raven picked daintily at her
food, then eyed Chase expectantly. "Oh, do you want me to do the
same for you, Miss Raven?" She nodded shyly, and he complied,
earning a small smile.

Watching him with the children, Nessa felt a
tightness in her throat. He seemed to understand their fears and
insecurities and went out of his way to assuage them.

Chase explained to the children that he
expected them to spend the morning shift with him or Nessa, not in
their cabin. Raven seemed to have attached herself to Nessa,
clinging to her tunic and following behind like a shadow. But when
Chase gently picked up the shaking Brand to go to the cockpit,
Raven darted after them. She watched over Brand just like Jarek had
watched over her, Nessa thought with a pang.

She cleaned the galley, then lugged the
sterilizer from the supply room. Chase came into the corridor to
show her how to operate the unit.

"Here's where you turn it on," he explained.
"Aim this nozzle at the floor, ceiling, walls, all surfaces. It
sprays an antibacterial mist that dries instantly. Do every part of
the ship, except the cockpit, decontamination, and the laboratory.
They have built-in sterilizing systems."

It took almost two hours for Nessa to
complete her assignment. When she returned to the cockpit, Brand
lay curled in Chase's lap, sound asleep. Raven was in a rear jump
seat, her feet dangling a good foot from the floor. As Nessa
approached, she saw the girl had also fallen asleep, her head
sagging sideways.

"I was trying to show them the different
controls and how they worked," Chase admitted wryly. "As you can
see, they found me fascinating."

Nessa nodded toward Brand. "How did you get
him in your lap? He won't come to me."

"I told him one of his duties was being a
lap warmer. I still had to lift him up here. He's not ready to make
any advances on his own."

Her heart softening dangerously, Nessa
leaned down to study Raven. She noted the dark circles beneath the
girl's eyes and strong maternal instincts surged through her. She
had the overpowering urge to wrap her arms around Raven and rock
the fragile girl until she felt safe.

Surprised by her strong reaction, she jerked
her head up to find Chase's discerning gaze upon her. Her emotions
all jumbled, she felt her face grow flushed. She straightened.
"What else do you want me to do?"

He leaned back in his seat, shifting Brand.
"Contact the computer at the sector Controller base on Odera and
download the latest location reports on wanted offenders. It will
take some time. The communication link codes are in the Odera
file."

The one computer assignment she couldn't
possibly enjoy, not knowing Shielder names would probably be in the
downloaded file. Nessa went to her seat and began the process.

A while later, as she sat waiting for the
transfer to be completed, she heard the soft padding of small feet.
A sleepy-eyed Raven stood beside her seat, watching silently.
Remembering Chase's recommendation, Nessa patted the space beside
her. "Come sit with me."

Raven moved closer, then hesitated. Reaching
out, Nessa gathered the girl into the seat with her. She kept her
arm around Raven, explaining how the computer worked. When the
download was completed, Nessa glanced over at Chase. He seemed
occupied, so she quickly checked the destination screen that read:
Destination: Star Base Intrepid
.

Relief swept through her. Chase was finally
keeping his word. But once they arrived there, would she be able to
come up with enough money for transport for three? She'd have to
start decoding the new vault code, just in case.

Pushing aside those concerns for the time
being, Nessa pulled up more interesting files to show Raven. The
girl found the pictures of the strange creatures and the many
planets in the quadrant fascinating, but admitted she couldn't
read. Resolving to teach her at the first opportunity, Nessa read
some of the stories to her. She also located some information on
puberty and shared it with Raven, watching the girl's reaction.
Raven kept looking from the screen to Nessa in astonishment. Nessa
assured her the information was true—Raven would soon undergo these
amazing changes and become a young woman.

She had never felt so needed, especially
when Raven cuddled closer and rested her head on Nessa's shoulder.
Nessa wanted to hold the girl close forever, and protect her from
the despair and fear that constituted an integral part of a
Shielder's existence. But she knew she could only help Raven
prepare for the world that awaited her.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully.
Nessa prepared the midday and evening meals, with some further
instruction from Chase, but all of the clean up fell to her. She
didn't complain, accepting the fairness of her duties, grateful she
wasn't in the brig instead.

As the ship cycle waned, the children grew
sleepy, worn out by the stress of a new environment. Chase and
Nessa tucked them into Nessa's bunk and watched them drop into
sleep. When they were deeply asleep, Chase completed his
examination of Brand. He also gave both children immunization
injections, which didn't seem to disturb them in the least.

Nessa watched him gather his equipment,
filled with both anticipation and dread. What now? Would he expect
her to mate with him, as part of a slave's duties? She knew he
couldn't possibly find her attractive, but she now realized such
considerations didn't matter if the mating need was strong
enough.

She didn't want to mate under those
circumstances. Pride and dignity demanded she refuse such an
arrangement. Yet she might not have much choice in the matter. Not
only was time on the Orana incubation growing short, but now the
fate of two innocent children complicated the situation.

Chase closed his equipment case and stepped
back from the bunk. He held out his hand to Nessa. "Come on, let's
go to bed."

He must be going crazy. He knew better than
to allow this senseless attraction toward Nessa to go any further,
Chase told himself. He'd thought she felt the same attraction,
until now, when he could feel her shaking as they walked toward his
cabin. Was it from fear or desire?

She deserved to be in the brig, after the
stunt she'd pulled yesterday. And that constituted the
least
of the damage she had caused. In truth, Nessa's presence on his
ship had broadsided him emotionally, in more ways than one. Her
medical problems had necessitated frequent visits to the lab, a
painful reminder of his miserable failure as a physician.

The colossal mistake of giving in to the
lure between them and making love had further complicated the
situation. Why did she have to be a virgin and why did that fact
affect him so profoundly? He'd reacted like some primitive cave
dweller from Trion, feeling protective and possessive toward her—as
if she belonged to him now.

Then she'd brought the children onto the
ship. Those little waifs had immediately roped Chase's
heartstrings. For three seasons, he'd managed to lock all feelings
away. But now, his carefully constructed wall was cracking. Spirit,
but it hurt to feel again. Unresolved grief, anger, and guilt,
safely buried until now, deluged him, like a violent flash
flood.

Not even competent enough to capture the one
person responsible for his personal hell, how did he handle these
emotions? By exploding at Nessa, shaking the life out of her, and
then losing himself in her body. Which he wanted to do
again—starting right now.

Granted, last night should never have
happened and wouldn't have, if not for the influence of the liquor.
But the alcohol had weakened his guard just enough and Nessa had
looked so damned sexy with that robe clinging to every curve.

She looked apprehensive now, as they entered
his cabin, but he would make certain she enjoyed the actual act of
mating tonight. He should have stayed away from her after their
first encounter. But he hadn't. The damage was already done, he
rationalized, so why not find comfort in each other's arms? It had
been so long for him…so very long.

He'd told Nessa the truth about the healing
power of touch. Holding Brand today, Chase had wished for someone
to hold him, to comfort away the terrible memories, the stark
loneliness, if only for a short while. Foolishness, because nothing
would ever eradicate the reality. Still, he yearned for the
momentary oblivion he seemed to find with Nessa.

As the panel slid shut, he unbuckled his
utility belt, tossing it on the console. He sank into his chair,
swiveling to watch Nessa while he removed his boots. She remained
by the panel, her eyes wary. Not quite the look of the eager
lover.

"What are you thinking, Nessa?"

She looked at the bunk. "I'm not used to
sleeping with anyone."

Good. He'd be the only one with that honor.
Watching the rapid rise and fall of her breasts beneath her tunic,
Chase felt himself hardening. He tossed his boots to the side.
"Sleep wasn't exactly what I had in mind."