Shattered Dreams (28 page)

“Not really. I’m just...”

“Overwhelmed?” he asked, finishing her sentence for her.

“Perhaps a little.”

She smiled, but there was a hint of unease in her eyes. A flash of terror identical to the fear he’d seen that first night when her brother suggested Brent escort her in to dinner. She wasn’t comfortable with so much attention. “You’re doing marvelously, sweetheart.”

“That’s because I haven’t made a spectacle of myself - yet.”

“You won’t. And if you do, we’ll shrug it off tonight and laugh about it in the morning.”

Her eyes opened wide as if what he suggested was impossible. “Come here,” he said and tucked her near. He took the cane from her arm and leaned it against the railing, then wrapped his arms around her. “I love you, Elly.

“You—”

He pressed his finger to her lips to silence her.

“Nothing is important but you and me. Anything else can be ignored.”

“But it can’t, Brent. It’s only a matter of time until something happens. You’ve seen the look in people’s eyes when they look at me – the pity. You’ve seen them stare at my clumsiness when I walk through the room.”

“That’s because they don’t know you. They don’t love you like I do.”

She smiled. “And I love you. But love isn’t enough. My brothers love me, but every time I attempt something and fail, I see the pity in their eyes, the guilt and regret on their faces. The day will come when you’ll wear that same look and I can’t bear to see it.”

“So what’s the alternative? We both live our lives alone and lonely because you aren’t brave enough to take the risk that I won’t fail you? Are you really willing to throw away the thousands of ways we can prove the love we have for each other because of the few moments of embarrassment?”

He brushed his fingers down her cheek. “Elly, those few times will be insignificant. Our love is all that’s important. Living our lives together is all that’s important. Loving each other and the children we will have together is all that’s important.”

He stopped and cupped his hands on each side of her face. “Please, trust me. Do you think I’m not afraid you might come to resent me when I ask you to take risks you aren’t willing to take?”

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “There are risks for both of us but I’m willing to take them. And I hope you are too because I can’t continue like this. I love you. I want to spend my life with you. But I need you to want the same thing.” He took a deep breath and prepared to issue the ultimatum that might destroy a future with her.

“I told you I’d stay until Harrison’s engagement is announced. After your father announces Harrison’s engagement, I will ask you one final time to marry me. Whatever your answer, I will accept it. If you say no, I’ll walk out of your life and never come back.”

He pulled her into his arms and held her. “But please think long and hard about what you’ll force both of us to give up if your answer is no.”

“Brent, I—”

“Shh,” he whispered. He kissed her once more, then lifted his head. “Listen. They’re playing a waltz.”

She shook her head. “No, Brent. I can’t. Not here. People will see us.”

“You can, Elly. You have me to rely on.”

He saw the question in her eye, the doubts, the fear. But he’d issued a challenge, now he prayed her pride wouldn’t allow her to back down. “No one will see us.” He held out his hand and waited.

She looked to the open doorway. “My brothers are watching right now.”

“George?”

She smiled. “Spence.”

“Good. I want him to see what a remarkable feat you’ve accomplished.”

She looked into his eyes, then lifted her trembling hands, slid them up the front of his jacket and wound them around his neck.

He pulled her close to allow her to anchor herself like she’d done before and wrapped his arms around her waist.

He held her scandalously close, then slowly moved to the music.

She turned her gaze to where her brother stood. “Jules is watching, too.”

“Don’t look at them,” he whispered. “No one matters except you and me.”

She lifted her chin and locked her gaze with his.

He held her close and moved to the music.

“Are they still there?” she asked after a few turns.

He smiled. “Yes, and so are your parents and the twins.”

She looked to where her family stood.

Perhaps if he had realized that the awe-filled looks of amazement on her siblings’ faces would have such an affect on her he might have tightened his grip. Perhaps if he hadn’t been so lost in the deep richness of her eyes, he would have anticipated that the sight of her mother swiping tears from her eyes would break her concentration. But he’d been so consumed with emotions he couldn’t explain, he didn’t realize what was about to happen until it was too late. Elly lost her footing and stumbled forward.

He caught her, but not before she’d nearly fallen to the ground.

Her arms flailed in desperation as she struggled to regain her balance, but her lame foot was no good to her.

Brent reached for her and lifted her into his arms. “Are you all right?” he asked, tucking her close to him.

She looked to the open doorway. Her entire family stood there as well as a large gathering of guests. The expressions on their faces could only be described as embarrassment. The expression on Elly’s was mortification. Her cheeks turned a deep red as she struggled to hide her shame.

She stood before him. “Are you satisfied, Brent? Is this the performance our guests will come to expect when invited to our home? The Countess of Charfield stumbling clumsily from one room to another?”

“Elly, no. That’s not at all—”

Before he could explain, Harrison and George were at her side. Jules and Spence were close behind. They flanked her two on a side and eased her onto the nearest chair.

Brent waited until her family was assured she was all right, then stepped near her. “Elly?”

She looked at him, the hurt and embarrassment visible on her face. “I can’t be what you want me to be. Please don’t ask me to be.”

He stepped near enough to her so she had to look up. “What is that? What do you think I want you to be?”

“Perfect.” She swiped her hand through the air. “I thought suffering through a Season was the most humiliating time of my life.” She laughed. “Now I know it wasn’t. Pretending I’m as normal as everyone else is a thousand times more embarrassing.”

“You are embarrassed?” he said loud enough that her family looked at him. “How can being the bravest, most courageous, most desirable woman in the world be embarrassing? How can determination and resolve be humiliating? The person who learned to walk when the doctors said she wouldn’t, and rode when the doctors said she couldn’t, wouldn’t be embarrassed because of a misstep.

“The woman who trusted me to keep her from falling when she learned to swing a croquet mallet, and relied on me to be her anchor so she could waltz, that woman wouldn’t have allowed something as insignificant as a near fall to affect her. That woman would have laughed in the face of defeat and risen to try again.”

Elly stared at him with the same shocked expression as her family. Finally, she whispered, “Perhaps I’m not that woman any longer.”

He looked deep into her eyes. He’d pushed her too far. He’d expected too much from her. But, didn’t she know that with him at her side, there was nothing she couldn’t do. “That would be a shame, my love.”

She shook her head, then gave her father a frantic look. “Help me inside, Father. Please.”

Brent watched her father assist her in rising, then followed behind her family as they surrounded her and took her away. He stopped when he reached the doorway, not sure he could endure the rest of the evening.

He’d promised to wait until the announcement of Harrison’s engagement, but he wasn’t sure his heart could survive that long.

___

Elly clutched her father’s arm as they walked through the ballroom. Her family had rushed to her side as they always did when she stumbled, but tonight the gesture of kindness made her feel more like a cripple than ever.

“The twins told me you’ve learned to play croquet,” her father said when they reached the far side of the dais. It was time to announce Harrison’s engagement. “They said you are nearly as accomplished as Harrison.” Her father laughed. “Remind me to challenge you next time we’re at The Down.”

“Father—”

Her father lifted his finger to halt her words and walked with her to the corner where they were hidden from full view of the guests. He let her steady herself with her cane, then stood in font of her. He crossed his hands over his chest and leveled her with a most regal look. “How much do you love Lord Charfield?”

She lowered her gaze and looked to a spot on the floor to her right.

“I asked you a question, Elyssa. Is refusing his offer worth the pain and loneliness you will both suffer for the rest of your lives?”

Elly shook her head. “What if I become such an embarrassment that Brent eventually hates me?”

“Oh, Elyssa. The person you’ve always been wouldn’t even have entertained that thought. She would have grabbed hold of the gift Charfield offered her with both hands and lived life to the fullest. She would have done everything in her power to make the man she loved the happiest man alive. Instead of running from the challenges he placed in front of her, she would have embraced them and issued challenges of her own.”

Her father placed a finger beneath her chin and tipped her head back so she had to look into his eyes. “You’ve always been someone I’ve been proud to call my daughter. What you thought of as embarrassing clumsiness was only that in your eyes. Never in your mother’s eyes. Never in mine. Never in the eyes of anyone who loved you.”

Elly swallowed hard. “Oh, Papa. What am I to do?”

“Whatever you can live with, Elly.”

Chapter 28

Brent stood at the side of the ballroom nursing the drink a footman had offered him. This wasn’t the time to drink himself senseless. That would come later. When Elly walked out of his life forever.

He watched her family gather on the opposite side of the room. Elly stood beside her father, no doubt explaining that Brent had embarrassed her once too often. That she didn’t trust him enough to believe he could love her.

Then her father placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned in to say something. She turned her head, her eyes finding him in the crowded room. She shook her head, then stepped into her father’s arms.

His broken heart lay shattered at his feet. It was all he could do to remain until Harrison’s engagement was announced.

If it weren’t for the fact that this was the last time he’d see Elly, he’d leave. But he couldn’t force himself to give up even one minute of this last night with her.

He focused his gaze to where she stood on the dais at the opposite end of the ballroom. The Duke and Duchess of Sheridan took center stage with their children and their fiancées and husbands surrounding them. The Marquess of Fellingsdown stood to the right of the stage with his future bride, Lady Lathamton, at his side.

But none of Elly’s siblings or their partners held his attention. Only Elly.

She’d never looked as beautiful as she did tonight.

She wore a dark green gown that accented her mahogany hair. The strings of tiny pearls wound through her silken tresses made him want to gather her curls in his hand and hold them.

She leaned on her cane like she always did, but it was such a part of her she wouldn’t look natural without it.

She wouldn’t be his Elly.

Her gaze hadn’t found him once since she’d taken her place on the platform, but he hadn’t expected her to look at him. She’d made her feelings known when she’d left on her father’s arm.

He knew then that she’d made her choice.

Now if he could live with her decision.

The ache inside his chest made him doubt he could. Perhaps in ten years or twenty the discomfort wouldn’t be so bad. But that was unlikely. What he feared most was that the hurt would grow stronger. He wasn’t sure he was courageous enough to live with that much pain.

He sucked in a deep breath and held it.

The Duke of Sheridan stepped to the front of the platform. In a moment he would announce the betrothal of his son, then everyone would gather to congratulate the happy couple. There would be no reason for Elly to stay longer. No reason for him to stay either.

He braced his shoulders and pretended to be as happy as the rest of the guests in the room.

The Duke of Sheridan took his place. “Welcome, friends.” He held up his hands to quiet the crowd. “Thank you for attending this most special night.”

There was a robust round of applause.

“It’s not often parents get to see their family nearly double in a matter of a few short months like Her Grace and I have.”

A chorus of laughter as well as a spattering of applause echoed from the ballroom and the duke tucked his wife’s hand in his.

“Tonight, though, is a most extraordinary culmination to what has, without a doubt, been the most exciting round of events anyone could imagine.”

There was another round of applause.

“All of you think you know why you were invited. And you’re correct.”

The crowd cheered.

“But that announcement is only part of the reason we are celebrating. I have another disclosure to make that is equally, if not even
more
exciting.”

A hush fell over the crowd and everyone seemed to move closer to the dais to make sure they caught the duke’s surprising announcement.

“Before I divulge this special secret, let me preface my announcement by making a statement only one of you in this room will understand.”

The duke paused, then turned his gaze to where Brent stood.

Brent’s heart raced.

“The answer,” he said, prolonging the rest of his sentence an agonizingly long length of time, “is...yes.”

Brent’s heart skipped one beat, then a second. His gaze darted to Elly and his heart threatened to burst. There was a smile on her face as well as an unmistakable look of love and affection.

It took him a moment to move. Then, on legs that trembled beneath him, he made his way through the crowd toward the dais.

When Brent reached the platform, the duke continued.

“It’s not every father and mother who have the honor of announcing the betrothal of not one, but two of their children the same evening. The duchess and I have been given that honor.”

The duke stopped and Brent was glad he waited until the crowd realized what his presence on the dais meant.

“It gives me the greatest pleasure to announce the engagement of my daughter, Lady Elyssa, to Brentan Montgomery, Earl of Charfield. And my son, Harrison Prescott, Marquess of Fellingsdown, to Lady Lathamton.”

Squeals of shock and a rousing applause followed the announcement, but he didn’t pay any attention to it. He was too focused on holding Elly in his arms and kissing her.

“You’ll never be sorry, Elly,” he said over the shouts of well-wishers and the thunderous applause that seemed to grow louder with each passing second.

“How could I be?” She touched his cheek with the fingers of one hand and wrapped the other arm around his neck. “I have your love.”

Brent gathered her into his arms. He wasn’t sure where her cane was, but it no longer mattered.

From now on, she had him to lean on.