Ruin Me (44 page)

I scoff quietly and Piper’s little blue eyes flick up to look at me across the table.

“I won’t,” she mutters. Her eyes drop back to her plate.

“Well…” I say. “She can probably slack off a little bit. It’s not like they can un-accept her or anything, right? She should take a breather. Enjoy it.”

Philip looks at me as if he just realized I’m here, even though I’ve been sitting at the table for the last thirty minutes. “That’s not how my daughter was raised, Kai,” he says, his voice sharp as rocks.

“She wasn’t raised to celebrate her accomplishments?” I laugh.

Piper blinks at me but stays silent with tense shoulders.

“She wasn’t raised to be complacent,” Philip fires back. “The moment we start to feel satisfied with our lives is the moment we stop trying to better ourselves.”

I roll my eyes. “So, basically, you’re saying that you never want your daughter to be happy?”

“Kai…” my mother interrupts, forcing a big smile. “Let’s not point fingers.”

Philip sits back in his chair. “I’m sure your father patted you on the head after every point you scored, Kai, but maybe you would have won more games if he said you needed to train harder next time.”

I flex my jaw and my eyes fall on Piper again. She quickly tears her eyes away to look at her father. “It’s okay, Dad,” she smiles. “You know me, I wouldn’t slack off even if you told me to.”

“That’s my girl.” Philip sets his fork down a little too hard. It clatters against the glass plate and the sound echoes for a few moments throughout the silent room.

I keep my eyes on her and watch as her smile slowly fades off her face.

***

The train quietly rocks back and forth, speeding down the tracks of the underground tunnel towards France. I stare across the car at Piper and smile. She sits in her seat with her arms crossed over her chest. Her head lies against the dark window, her eyes closed by sleep. The occasional orange light passes by in the tunnel, briefly illuminating her alabaster face. Seeing her this way takes me back in time to the last time she and I were on this train. Has it really been four years since I stayed behind with her? It was just the beginning of the best week of my life. I can’t help but feel hopeful that this day is also the beginning of something more.

“How much longer is this train?” Mandy whines.

I look away from Piper and clear my throat. “Another hour or so,” I answer.

Mandy sits farther back in her seat beside Piper. Her eyes shoot forward to stare at Shawn next to me. She sighs.

“Chill out, Mandy,” Shawn mutters. “We’re on our way to Paris. You can’t be pissed off in Paris. It’s too awesome.”

She rolls her eyes and looks at Piper. “Wake up,” she says to her.

“Let her sleep…” I say, clinging to the moment.

Mandy ignores me and pokes Piper’s arm with her elbow. “I need conversation,” she says. “Piper, wake up.”

Piper’s eyes flutter open and she pulls herself off the window. “Are we there already?” she asks with a yawn.

“No,” I answer. “Mandy’s just needy.”

“I’m not
needy
,” she argues. “I’m just
bored
.”

“Read a book,” Piper suggests, wiping her tired eyes.

“I just spent four years reading books,” Mandy says. “I’m not reading another book for a very long time.”

“Sorry, Pipes,” I tell her. Her eyes are red, almost tortured from lack of sleep. I feel a little responsible for it. We’ve been up together since the early morning and the night before didn’t provide much sleep either. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t passed out by now, too.

Piper shakes her head. “It’s cool,” she says. She takes a breath and looks around the train car. A smile strikes her face and I know she’s remembering that day four years ago, too. She looks at me and I smile back. “It’s just like old times…” she says.

“Speaking of old times…” Shawn says. “How about a classic game of ‘Never Have I Ever’?”

“And here we go…” I say.

“I’m not feeling up to drinking games tonight, Shawn,” Piper says. “And we already know each other pretty well…”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Mandy adds.

I stare across the compartment at her before Piper and I exchange a quick glance. I’ve never backed out of a game with Shawn before and doing so might cause some suspicion, but there are too many secrets between us right now. The last thing I want is for them to get out, especially in an enclosed space with no escape route.

Shawn pushes his arm out and holds a little finger up into the air. “Come on, everybody,” he says. “It’ll be better than staring at walls for the next hour.”

Mandy immediately sticks out her hand and points her little finger. “Oh, I’m always in,” she says. Her tone is particularly devious and I can tell by the look in Piper’s eyes that it makes her uncomfortable.

“Me, too,” I say, forcing a laid back demeanor. I blink at Piper, hoping to send her a subconscious message that it’ll all be okay. In the end, I find it hard to believe that Mandy would let our secrets slip out, especially when doing so wouldn’t benefit her in the slightest. She has nothing to gain by telling Shawn about our night together.

“Okay, sure,” Piper says. I smile at her as we both meet little fingers with the others.

“As always,” Shawn begins his catch phrase, “
when the words hit air, they stay there.”
We all lower our hands and the air in the compartment feels a little bit thicker. “I’ll start…” He tilts his head back and stares at the ceiling while his mind wanders. “
Never have I ever
…”

We wait patiently, but nothing comes out of his mouth.

“Well, shit,” he finally says.

“Anybody bring a deck of cards?” I joke.

“Oh, I’m sure one of us can think of something to jump start this game…” Mandy says, leaning forward. “Oh yeah…
Never have I ever
run away from home.”

“Oh, ha-ha, Mandy,” Piper mutters.

“See?” she replies. “Still plenty of skeletons to be played with. Or how about this?
Never have I ever
concocted an elaborate scheme to get two of my friends back together again when one of them
clearly
wants nothing to do with the other anymore—”

“Mandy, cut it out,” Piper interrupts. “We already told you that we didn’t do that.”

“I’m not an idiot, Piper.”

“Yes, you are,” I add, “if you still think Piper and I would meddle in your relationship.”

“Wait,” Shawn finally says. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Oh, kind of like how you used to stick up for your golden boy every time we broke up?” Mandy asks me.

“If you didn’t want to get back together with him every time,” I say, “then you shouldn’t have gotten back together with him every time. I didn’t force you to do anything.”

“It sure as hell felt like it,” she says. “I wasted so much time, it’s not even
funny.”

“Mandy…” Piper whispers her name as she glances at Shawn.

“So…” he says, “dating me was a waste of your time?”

Mandy opens her mouth to speak but hesitates a moment. “Yes,” she finally says. “I feel like the break-up should have happened sooner.”

“Damn…” Shawn mutters. “By all means, Mandy, don’t hold back or anything.”

“It’s the truth—”

“That’s really cold, Mandy,” I say, staring her down.

“That’s a bold response from someone like you, Kai,” she fires back. A smile suddenly crosses her lips. “Oh, I have one.
Never have I ever
fucked my best friend’s ex-girlfriend.”

“Mandy,
stop
,” Piper snaps.

I sit back, unable to say a single word that crosses my tongue.

“Oh, please,” Shawn says. “I know all about you and Kai hooking up in high school. That’s old news.”

“Right,” Piper says. Her blue eyes turn black as she stares Mandy down. “So we should just
move on
.”

Mandy ignores her. “You should probably bone up on your current events, Shawny,” she quips. “You’ve missed a few headlines. Hasn’t he, Kai?” She stares back at me with cold, lifeless eyes.

Shawn laughs. “I don’t know what you’re on, baby,” he says to her, “but it must be some serious shit.”

Mandy’s face bounces back and forth between mine and Piper’s. “No one has anything they’d like to say?” she asks. “Something you’d like to get off your chests?”

“Mandy,
please
…” Piper whispers.

“Fine, I’ll do it then.” She looks at Shawn and leans forward. “Shawn, three nights ago, Kai fucked me and Piper in a hotel room.”

I close my eyes and say a childish wish to myself to suddenly be somewhere else. It doesn’t matter where; The bottom of an erupting volcano, or at the end of a noose, or even in an underground pit surrounded by black widow spiders. Any of those would be preferable to being on this train right now.

“What’s she talking about?” Shawn asks the room. The hairs on my neck stand tall, magnetized by his eyes staring me down. “Kai? Is that true?”

I open my eyes and see Mandy’s amused face looking back at me. “Yeah…” I finally say. “It’s true.”

Shawn falls silent.

“Looks like we don’t all know each other that well, after all,” Mandy smirks.

“Knock it off,” Piper tells her. “What is wrong with you?”

“Me?” she asks. “I’m just being honest with the people that care about me. It seems like a decent change of pace for this group.”

Anger spikes in my blood. “You’re being a total bitch is what you’re doing—”

“Kai…”
Piper warns.

“No, by all means, let the man speak his mind,” Mandy says.

Piper shakes her head. “We shouldn’t be having this conversation right now,” she says.

“On the contrary,” Mandy shrugs, “I think we should all just let everything out right now — bring us all a little closer together. Shawn can talk about how fucking clueless he is, Kai can talk about how he betrayed his best friend, I’ll talk about how much I enjoyed it, and
you
can talk about the little bundle of secrets you’ve been carrying around with you for weeks.”

I look at Piper, but she quickly turns away from me. All my fears about her rise again and I feel that aching tickle at the back of my mind. The one that tells me she’s hiding something. “That’s enough, Mandy,” I say, fighting the urge to give in.

She grins. “Oh, it’s a whopper, too. Let me get her started...” Her eyes graze the ceiling before falling back to me. “
Never have I ever
been pregnant.”

The words rush through my ears, but refuse to grab hold of me. They pass through my memory multiple times, echoing over and over again before they finally settle into my brain and sink in.

I turn to Piper. She doesn’t move. Her mouth hangs open slightly with words caught on the tip of her tongue. She flicks her little blue eyes at me, but they quickly fall to the floor with silent gravity.

“What?” I ask her.

Chapter 43

Piper

I imagined this moment in quite a few ways. They mostly involved us sitting down together in a quiet room. I’d calmly explain the situation and then tailor the rest based on his reaction. The latter part, in particular, was a complete mystery to me, no matter how many times it went through my mind. It’s the only part I have no control over. Finding out you’re going to be a father must be a shock to any man, but Kai Casablancas?

Oh, boy.

“Piper…”

I force myself to look up from my feet. Kai stares back at me across the car with wide, confused eyes. I open my mouth to speak, but I can’t find the words. I let the rhythmic sounds of the train fill the blank space between us. I sense Mandy leaning back against her seat next to me. She no doubt feels very pleased with herself right now and probably wears the satisfaction in her eyes, but I can’t stand to even look at her right now to confirm it.

“Is that true?” Kai’s voice brings me back to him. He’s looking at me, expecting me to give him the answer I rightfully owe him.