Ruin Me (19 page)

Nope.

A surge of confidence charges through my veins. Piper Lynch is
gone
. She and I are over. Done. Dead. Buried. I’m in the prime of my life. She isn’t worth the heartache she left me with. She isn’t even worth the wad of tissues filling my trash can right now.

Fuck Piper Lynch and fuck this whole damn thing.

“Okay,” I say, nodding my head. “I’ll go with you.”

Mandy’s face splits with a big smile. “That’s the spirit, Kai!” She holds up her hand and I reach out for a quick high-five. “And like I said — if it sucks—”

“It won’t,” I say. “No, this is gonna be a good night, Mandy.” She smiles at me again and nods in understanding. I lay a friendly peck on her cheek and push myself off the bed.

“Where are you going?” Shawn asks, his eyes peeking at me from behind his shaggy bangs.

I reach for my gym bag in my closet and stuff my running shoes inside, along with an extra shirt and a pair of shorts. “I’m going to the rec center for a run,” I answer.

“Sounds healthy,” Mandy notes, still smiling.

I flash her a wink as I toss the bag over my shoulder. Adrenaline fires through me, pushing me towards a distant, but visible, finishing line. I’m a young, strong, and fiercely attractive male specimen. There’s no reason in the world why I can’t bounce back from this and come out a better man.

Ladies, Kai Casablancas is back.

I grab the doorknob and pull the door open.

Or not.

I stare at her and I can literally feel rock bottom slapping me in the face.

Her hand floats suspended in the air, just seconds away from knocking. She slowly lowers it while I study her face. Deep blue eyes, staring directly into my soul. Skin white as cocaine. I can taste the cherry on her red lips already. Her raven black hair, which was once long enough to graze her belly button, is now trimmed short, sitting just above her chin. My heart comes to a dead stop.

Piper
fucking
Lynch.

“Hello, Kai,” she says. The ends of her lips twitch, teasing a smile just below the surface, but it never quite makes it out.

I push the door closed and turn back around.

“Or, you know…” I drop the gym bag to the floor. “We can just stay in and order a pizza.”

Chapter 20

Piper

Well, my mother was right.

Now that he’s seen my face, I know exactly what Kai wants. There’s only so many ways I can interpret a door being slammed in my face.

I flinch as the door opens again.

“Piper?!” Mandy squeals my name and throws her arms around me, her trademark giggle on the air around us. “Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
”

I laugh with her and some of Kai’s sting wears off a bit. “Hey, Mandy,” I greet.

She pulls away and feels the ends of my hair with her fingertips. “Oh, this hair is
so
cute
!”

“Thanks,” I laugh. “Felt like I needed a change.”

“Come in—” She grips my wrist and pulls me into the room. “Shawn, look!” she shouts.

Shawn glances up from his bed with a smirk. “What’s up, girl?”

“Hi, Shawn,” I greet.

Mandy shakes me in her arms. “Oh, my god! This is so exciting! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” she asks.

My eyes drift to Kai across the room. He stands near a desk by the far wall, leaning back against it with his head down and his arms crossed over his chest. One thing is certain: He is not happy to see me. “I… thought a surprise would be more fun,” I answer. I watch him shake his head slightly, but he never raises his eyes.

“How long are you staying?” she asks.

“Umm… I’m not sure, actually.” I look to Kai again for a reaction, but he gives me nothing.

“Did you just get in?”

I nod. “Yeah, I came straight here.”
Come on, Kai. Blink or something.

Mandy releases my shoulders and steps into my line of sight, blocking him from view. “Oh, you’re probably
starving
then. That flight
sucks
.” She locks her eyes on mine. “How about we go get a late lunch and you can tell me all about what you’ve been up to…” Her subtle wink is far from subtle.

“Okay,” I tell her. “Sounds good.”

Kai pushes himself off the desk and makes wide strides towards the door. “I’m going to the gym,” he spits as he bends down and grabs a bag off the floor. He throws the door open and it closes fast behind him.

“I probably deserved that…” I whisper at Mandy.

She shrugs.

“You showed up at the perfect time, Piper,” Shawn says as he bounces off his bed. “Big party tonight.”

“Oh?” I ask.

Mandy hooks her arm with mine. “I’ll tell you about it at the dining hall. Come on.” She turns back to Shawn. “No boys allowed, honey. Sorry,” she smiles at him.

He holds up his hands. “No problem. I might actually catch up with Kai, do a few deadlifts or something…” He flexes his biceps in the air. They barely make dents in his shirt. Not at all like Kai’s still stunning physique.

Mandy waves goodbye to him and pulls me out of the dorm room.

***

“Oh, my god…”
I chew on the greasy and delicious burger. The flavors spread across my tongue, igniting all of the taste buds I had long forgotten about. “Of all the things I thought I’d miss, I never once considered an American cheeseburger would be on that list…”

Mandy chuckles at me from across the table and sucks on her straw to sip up the remaining soda hidden at the bottom among chunks of ice. The dining hall isn’t at all crowded, but I imagine more and more students will trickle in as evening draws closer. “And here I thought you came back here because you missed
me
…” she grins.

“Among other things…” I fill my mouth with sugary soda to wash down the elixir of potent flavors.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asks.

“More than anything.”

“Thank god.” She claps her palms together and gives them a rub. “I’m all ears…” she says.

I lick my lips and wipe them clean with a paper napkin while I do a quick scan of the area for prying ears. “I think I really fucked up.”

“How so?” Her eyes sparkle with amusement.

“I thought a clean break from Kai would be the best thing for both of us. I followed my instincts and for the first time, I think they were wrong.”

“Hmm…” She chews on her lip and taps her long nails across the table. “I’m gonna need a little
more
than that, honey…”

I sigh, remembering that I never officially told her the whole story about what happened that week in Europe. “Kai and I hooked-up in France,” I say. “And England… and Ireland… and Spain.”

“Yeah, no shit,” she smiles.

“What did he tell you?” I ask.

“He didn’t have to tell me anything, Piper.” She shakes her head. “Firstly, it was pretty suspicious when our plane took off from Paris and he wasn’t on it. Secondly, when he finally showed up at school a week later looking like an abused stray, it was pretty damn obvious who kicked him.”

“An abused stray?”

“Yeah,” she scoffs. “Whatever happened between you two over there
really
messed him up, Piper.”

“It did?” I sit back.

“Oh yeah. If it weren’t for me, I don’t think he’d say a word to anyone — except Shawn, of course.”

I eye the room around us. This isn’t what I expected. The fight we had that last day in Madrid before he left was a major one. I was sure he’d get back home and immediately be balls-deep in college girls starting from day one. Unlike myself. I’ve spent the last few months in a blinding sexual rut. The confident and seductive Piper Lynch fell off her pedestal. And she fell hard. “He said he loved me,” I admit.

“And you never said it back,” she says. It’s not a question. Score one for Mandy Black and her amazing perception skills.

“I couldn’t,” I say. “It never even crossed my mind…”

“But dragging him around with you to hotel rooms all over Europe was well within the realm of your capabilities,” she bites.

“Mandy…” I sigh.

“Piper, I love you…” she says, “but I’m siding with Kai on this one.”

“I
never
asked him to stay with me in Paris,” I argue.

“Did you ever ask him to leave?”

“No, but—”

“But
nothing
, Piper,” she interrupts. “You broke him. I’ve spent six months gluing him back together and today, I thought I made a little bit of progress… and then you showed up.”

It stings. A lot. “I’m sorry,” I say.

“Don’t say it to me, honey,” she says. “There’s someone else that deserves those words a little bit more.”

“If I had known it was this bad, I would have done something sooner,” I say.

“It was your idea to maintain radio silence,” she says.

I nod. I didn’t want her to know exactly where I was so that when my father inevitably grilled her about my whereabouts after she left Paris, she wouldn’t have to lie to him. I fall forward and rest my face in my hands. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?” I ask.

She shrugs. “No idea,” she says. “But you came all the way here, you might as well try and talk him into it.”

“I don’t want to talk him into anything…” I mutter as I sit back. “I just want to talk to him again. I can’t get him out of my head and I can’t go back to Europe until he’s out of my system.”

“So this wasn’t just a transatlantic booty call?” she smirks.

I shake my head. “Sex isn’t really on my mind much lately.”

“Well, that’s one thing the two of you have in common, I guess…” She looks around. “He spends all of his time either studying or working out. You can imagine how frustrating that is for Shawn the Party Guy,” she chuckles.

I give a small laugh. “Thanks for taking care of him.”

“Kai doesn’t need anyone to take care of him, same as you,” she says. “I’m just an ear when he needs one.”

“You’re more than just an ear to me,” I tell her. “I’m sure he feels the same way.”

“Maybe,” she says. Her eyes narrow for a moment before speaking again. “So, Kai finally confesses his love for you and you say…
nothing
?”

“What could I say?” I ask.

“
‘I love you, too’
would have been a good start,” she suggests.

“But…” I take a breath. “I didn’t want to lie to him.”

“You don’t love him back?”

I close my eyes and think on it for the millionth time since he said the words in my mother’s apartment in Paris. “No,” I say. “I don’t. At least… I don’t think so.”

“Well, if you ask me…” She leans forward. “Folks,
in general
, don’t typically travel across the world to apologize to people they feel
meh
about. Especially when they could just do it over the phone. Just an observation.”

“I can’t argue with that,” I sigh. “Let’s just say,
hypothetically
, that I do love him. What happens then?”

“That’d be up to you guys,” she says.

“He’s here. At school,” I continue. “And I’m… anywhere else.”

“I think if you two really wanted each other, you’d figure that out. But if either of you doesn’t want to put forth the effort, well…” She lets the thought dangle in the air, but it’s pretty obvious what the alternative is.

“You’re right,” I say.

“Of course, I am. I’m Mandy
fucking
Black.”

I chuckle at her. “So, tell me about this party Shawn’s all psyched about.”

Her smile stretches from ear-to-ear.