Push and Shove: The Ghost Bird Series: #6 (The Academy) (28 page)

“Yeah,” he finally said, with a heavy sigh that blew my hair against my neck. “Yes, Sang Baby, I like you. Probably a lot more than I should.”

My heart that was pounding so hard a moment ago stopped suddenly, along with my breath. The wind and the waves seemed to still. I wanted him to tell me what he meant and didn't want to miss a word.

But North drew quiet again. I sensed that he was struggling. I shifted slowly so I wouldn’t spook him. He let go of me, withdrawing his hands. I turned, getting on my knees in the sand so I could face him.

He leaned back on his hands. At first his eyes remained on the ground between us. He slid his eyes up after a moment, finally meeting my gaze.

There was something wrong. I could feel it from him. “What?” I asked.

His lips twisted. He shook his head. “Never mind,” he said. “I can’t.”

I let out a slow, frustrated sigh. The whole
I can’t
and
I shouldn’t
thing was too confusing, so limiting. “I thought we told each other important things. Can’t
what
?”

He looked up at me again, and it was as if I’d yelled at him like I’d done before. He looked hurt, defeated. What was wrong with him? Was it the Academy? Maybe there was some Academy rule that prevented the guys from doing certain things. Saying what they wanted. Doing what they wanted.

And it struck me in that moment. The guys got close, but there was an invisible line somewhere. Kota had hinted at it somehow. Like when he kissed me on the brow but not anywhere else. There were times the others got close, like Nathan, but never took it further. I’d been watching other couples kissing, holding hands. Karen even suggested sex, and everyone at school probably thought Silas and I had done that. Could a school like the Academy take over a life so much that North couldn’t tell me something that he looked desperate to tell me? Could they control who he kissed? Who they touched?

My thoughts propelled me up. I rose from the sand, finding the zipper to the jacket and unzipping it, sliding it from my shoulders.

I’d had enough sitting, enough looking and wondering and not getting an answer. I couldn’t stand to see the pain in his eyes. If he wasn’t going to tell me, or couldn’t, I’d force the moment to change so he wouldn’t feel pressured to. I’d distract him. I’d protect him from himself.

“What are you doing?” North asked, gazing up at me. Those dark eyes glinting in the moonlight.

I passed him the jacket. “I’m going to go touch it,” I said. I kicked off my shoes and dropped my phone on top of them. I didn’t want to risk dropping it in the darkness.

His eyebrows lifted in confusion. He clutched the jacket, taking it from me and putting it in his lap. “Touch what?”

“The ocean,” I said. I turned from him, starting off across the sand. I walked quickly, wanting to run away from North’s dark eyes and the secrets that I might never find out. Knowing there was a secret he couldn’t tell me was worse than not knowing any such thing existed.

Because if it was a secret, it meant it was Academy. It was the only thing they couldn't talk openly about with me.

And my heart stung, wondering if the Academy found something wrong with me, or if it was a general rule not to get too close to a girl. They’d been told not to get close to anyone at Ashley Waters. Did that include me? It seemed impossible that the Academy would make such a rule. Why would a school care? I’d come so far with them. They’d told me they wanted me to join this family, this group. At the same time, I wasn’t allowed in. I wasn’t allowed to get that close. Maybe that was why everyone around us was so confused, including me.

The only answer I had was that the Academy told them to stay at a distance from me.

I was forbidden territory.

I focused on the swirl of waves in front of me. I wanted to dip my toe in. I wanted to touch something, when I wasn't sure I could touch the guys and what it all meant.

The first time North called my name, there was a warning tone, like he wanted me to stop. I’d heard it before, usually when the other guys and I were doing something silly together and he wanted us to quit.

I dashed forward. I didn’t want him to be so protective of me that I couldn’t do something as simple as touch the water without him giving me a lecture that the water was too cold or something else. I’d never seen the ocean before. I’d never felt the water. Not that I expected it to be different than water from the sink or a pool, but it was different to me. I didn’t want to miss the chance the first time I was here.

When my bare feet reached the damp sand as the wave washed back out, North called again for me, his tone much more urgent. It caught me so off guard that I turned, the bottoms of my feet chilled against the soaked sand.

North was running after me. I didn’t know why. I stepped backward, looking from side to side, wondering if perhaps there was something I was at risk of stepping on and didn’t see. A crab? A jellyfish?

A wave crept up over my ankles and rose quickly to encompass my calves, almost up to my knees. The water surged. I lost my balance at the press and tug of the wave, falling.

The chill in the water didn’t scare me as much as the pulling. The water, unrelenting, yanked me away from the shore. I had fallen on my back and felt the sand against my hips. I tried to sink myself to stabilize so I could catch my footing and stand, but the water made the ground slippery, and the sand released too easily to act as a foothold.

Just when I was being pulled under another swell of water, an arm threaded around my waist and I was pulled up. I sputtered. I’d been so desperate just to find some traction that breathing hadn’t been part of the equation yet.

North yanked me up out of the water. I clutched to his black T-shirt. He pulled me around until I was chest to chest with him. He caught my thighs, lifting until they were wrapped up around him. He hugged me close as he slogged forward through the water toward the sand.

The wind knocked around us, catching through my clothes as if I’d been wearing nothing at all. The only warmth I found was in North.

“Goddamn it, Sang,” North said as he marched.

“I’m sorry,” I gasped out. What just happened? It was so sudden. “I just wanted to stick my foot in it. I didn’t mean to—”

“You can’t, Baby,” he said. “Not here.” He dropped into the sand on his knees, holding me to him, pressing my body into his. His hands found my back and he rubbed harshly, as if trying to pull me in closer. “I was trying to warn you.”

“I didn’t know...”

North grunted. “I know,” he said. His head dipped down, until his lips dropped into my hair. “Anywhere else you probably could, but the water's too dangerous here. Ever since the hurricane, the tides claimed this part. You can’t go out into the water here. Riptides.”

“What’s a riptide?”

I felt his mouth open once and then close. He pulled back. A hand slipped up cupping just under my jaw against my neck until he had me looking at him. “Sometimes I forget.”

“Forget what?”

“You’re so smart, Sang Baby,” he said. His thumb traced along the edge of my jaw. I felt the urge to tilt my head back slightly, as if encouraging him to do it again. “You’re so smart, but there’s just so much you haven’t experienced, that you don’t know about.”

I tilted my head back, into his cupped hand. I wanted the warmth and his touch. “What don’t I know?”

He sucked in a breath. In the darkness, his eyes peered down at me. He huffed, shaking his head. He repositioned his hands to my forearms, rubbing in an effort to warm my skin. “You’re freezing.”

My body had been shaking, but before it must have been shock from getting pulled into the water. Now I trembled nearly uncontrollably. The wind bit into my skin, the water giving it an icy edge.

He picked me up, carrying me until he found his jacket and my shoes. He lowered me until I was standing. He bent over, picked up his jacket and brought it to my shoulders. “I can’t drive us back like this. You’ll get sick.”

I wanted to answer him, but a shiver was all I managed. I was afraid to speak, because I wasn’t sure I would be understood.

He sighed, collecting me into his arms and holding me close. The wind rocked wildly around us, kicking sand up to stick to our skin. North ducked his head close to mine, pressing his cheek to the top of my head.

I nearly buried myself into him.

––––––––

N
orth drove back to the main road on Folly Beach. I trembled at the wind cutting into me so badly that my body hurt, like a thousand needles were burrowing underneath the surface of my skin.

When we got back to the main road, North pulled into the hotel’s parking lot. He parked as closed to the doors as he could. He urged me to get off the bike, stood up, and dusted himself off.

“We look like a wreck,” he said. He tugged the jacket across my shoulders tighter. “When we go in, go find the bathroom. There’s a hallway to the right. Try to clean yourself up. I don’t want anyone thinking I’ve kidnapped you.”

I meant to nod, but mostly trembled. “We’re staying here tonight?”

“I can’t drive you back like this. And it’ll drive Kota crazy.”

I stared at the hotel. The building seemed huge. I’d never been in a hotel. North led the way under an archway and through the automatic opening glass doors.

The lobby inside had a sitting area to the right, and a guest registry desk to the left. The counter was empty. Was the hotel closed?

North nudged me, pointing out a sign to the right that said “Restrooms.” I padded over, suddenly realizing I’d entered in my bare feet. North had put my shoes into the saddlebag of his bike. I marched to the bathroom, trying not to shake so badly that I ended up falling over.

The bathroom’s heater was working very well. I stood just inside the doorway, absorbing the warmth. When I caught my reflection in the mirror, I blanched.

There was a good sized bruise on my neck. My hair was wild from the bike and the wind. There were clumps of sand all over. With my soaked clothes and North’s oversized jacket on my frame, I resembled some homeless girl from a war zone in a faraway country.

I had a fleeting thought of wondering what I was doing there. Who was I to stay the night at a hotel an hour away from home? What in the world was I doing? Whatever happened to Sang, the invisible girl that no one looked at?

I shook the thoughts off. I approached the sink, turning on the hot water and rinsing the sand off my hands.

I tugged my fingers through my hair, trying to rake back the strands. When that didn’t work, I used the teeth of the clip to try to comb out what knots I could. I brushed the sand away, feeling guilty that I was dirtying the floor.

When my hair was tied back again, I shoved North’s jacket around me and zipped it up. I still looked like a hobo girl, but at least my hair wasn’t a nest.

I opened the door, and found North standing outside the door. He perked up when I came out, and held up a card key. “Ready?”

My body started to shake again from tiredness and chill, and my nerves rattled. I forced a nod.

North found my hand, tugging me toward an elevator a little further down the hall. It felt awkward that I hadn’t seen anyone else around here yet. It was like the entire hotel was empty. Whoever he’d done business with at the front desk had disappeared.

North pushed the button for the fourth floor. I stood close to him. He kept an arm around my shoulders, his jaw set.

When we got to the fourth floor, the doors opened to a green carpeted hallway. North lead the way down the corridor, stopping at a room almost at the end.

I don’t know what I expected of a hotel room. I’d seen a handful over the years on television but I supposed I never paid too much attention to it. There was a single large bed, with a headboard made of bamboo rods stuck together. There was a lime green couch, a coffee table, a single desk with an office chair, an entertainment center. The setup made me think of my own bedroom at home, with a single small bed and a bookshelf. My bedroom was more barren than a hotel room.

North opened a door that lead to a bathroom. He flicked on the switch, leaning his head inside to look around. He turned back to me, curling his fingers. “Take your clothes off,” he said.

My eyes widened at him.

His head tilted and he frowned, then he shook his head. “I mean inside here. Take them off, wash the sand off. And then hop into the shower to warm up and get clean.” He stepped out of the bathroom and motioned to me to get in.

I padded inside. He closed the door. I turned, shivering where I stood.

The promise of warm water sounded good. I hurried to turn on the hot water, eager to strip and settle into a bath.

While the tub filled, I fiddled with a tray on the counter, fingering a coffee maker and a packet of coffee and the cups. I smoothed my hand over the towels, smelling the bleach and the other cleaners used in the space. It was heady and made me want to sneeze.

When the water was high enough, I left the faucet running and I stripped out of my clothes, dipping my toe into the warm water. I had meant to do what he said and wash my clothes first, but I was too eager to get warm.

I put my foot in and then stopped, tugging myself out of the bath again. The heat made my skin tingle painfully as much as the cold did. I eased my way into the water slowly, going as fast as I could. I drew the curtain closed, just to capture the heat.

When I was finally settled in and the warm water wrapped around me, I breathed out. I didn’t care to wash. I just wanted to absorb as much heat as I could.

When I thought about North, I forced myself to wash. He probably needed to warm up, too. I used the shampoo, thinking of how Gabriel would probably have a fit, but secretly delighting in the idea of him probably lecturing me and getting him to wash my hair again. I rinsed out as much of the sand as I could.

I wanted to stay forever, but after a while, I was starting to fight off sleep. Thinking of the bed so close, I groaned, summoning up the strength to pull myself from the water.

I let the water start to drain, yanking back the curtain and grabbing for one of the towels. When I stepped from the tub though, something about the room bugged me, and I didn’t understand it for a moment. My poor, tired brain didn’t want to process.