Prescription for Chaos (30 page)

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Authors: Christopher Anvil

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* * *

New York, June 12.
Attempts to locate the whereabouts of a concern called Hyperdynamic Specialty Products, rumored to be distributing radio sets of unusual properties, have so far proved futile. The firm's showroom was vacated before police arrived.

* * *

Havana, June 14.
Julio Del Barbe, Special Communications Commissar, today blasted "Yankee imperialism" in a lengthy speech, interrupted a number of times as Mr. Del Barbe smashed his microphone. Mr. Del Barbe, among other things, angrily accused "a cutthroat Yankee CIA cover agency called Hyperdynamic Specialty Products" of selling his organization a case of expensive "special electronics equipment," which blew up on arrival.

* * *

Moscow, June 18.
The Soviet Government has delivered a stiff protest to Washington, charging that "voices with American accents" are interrupting Soviet news and cultural broadcasters, with comments from the microphone such as "Lies, all lies," and "Communism is the bunk." Moscow demands that these "crude provocations" cease at once.

* * *

Washington, June 19.
At the same time as the Russian note was received here, word got around that an official of the Russian embassy here recently paid $2,500.00 for a portable back-talk radio set such as is sold on the black market here for about $50.00. The back-talker was reportedly flown to Moscow on the very fastest jet transportation available.

* * *

Washington, June 20.
The President was interrupted several times last night by caustic comments from the microphone. The Russians are believed responsible.

* * *

New York, August 1.
Harmon Lobcaw, president of NBS Radio, announced today the installation of a system of "remote live broadcasting" which "strains out" microphone back talk before it reaches the announcer. Mr. Lobcaw also said that there is now a "crying need for announcers," as an estimated four hundred have recently quit their jobs. Asked why they quit, Mr. Lobcaw said, "Their self-confidence was shattered."

* * *

Washington, August 2.
Following several nasty comments from the microphone, Senator William Becker has summoned Cyrus Cartwright, II, to testify before his committee regarding the Cartwright Corporation's connection with the mushrooming sales of back-talk radio and TV devices. Mr. Cartwright has stated that he will appear, and has nothing to hide.

* * *

New York, August 3.
The price of Cartwright Corporation stock plummeted today, as rumors spread that the Government is determined to punish the company.

* * *

Washington, August 8.
Cyrus Cartwright, II, today won a clean bill of health from Senator William Becker's investigating committee. The committee is now looking for Nelson Ravagger, the well-known speculator and corporation-raider.

* * *

New York, August 9.
Cartwright Corporation stock rose sharply today.

* * *

Washington, August 11.
In a stormy, shouting session financier Nelson Ravagger defended himself against charges of Senator William Becker's committee that Ravagger is responsible for distributing radio-TV back-talk devices. Mr. Ravagger asserted that he had not purchased the devices, but that they had been sold to a firm run by his business associate, Skybo Halante. Mr. Halante is now being sought.

* * *

New York, August 11.
Cartwright Corporation climbed to a new high as it was learned today that the corporation developed and is now selling the cheapest and most effective system for "filtering" back talk and "sorting and storing" it for program-improvement purposes. Development of this device was reportedly instigated by financier Nelson Ravagger, who has emerged as apparently the major Cartwright stockholder following a series of complex market operations reported to have netted him millions.

* * *

Washington, August 16.
In a furious session before the Becker Backtalk-Investigating Committee, businessman Cyrus Cartwright, II, and speculator Nelson Ravagger defended themselves against renewed charged of "mulcting the public, deceiving this committee, and attempting to destroy the communications industry in this country." Skybo Halante, Mr. Ravagger's long-sought business associate, appears to have evaporated into thin air. Grilled about this, Mr. Ravagger replied, "How should I know where he is? I'm not his chaperon." The search for Mr. Halante is continuing.

* * *

New York, August 17.
Price of Cartwright Corporation stock fell sharply today as it was learned that damage suits totaling upwards of one billion dollars are to be brought against the corporation.

* * *

New York, August 19.
Price of Cartwright Corporation stock rose sharply today as word was received of a fantastically cheap and effective Cartwright portable radio entirely free of back talk.

* * *

New York, August 22.
The bottom fell out of Cartwright Corporation stock today as the rumor spread that the new-model portable radio produces back talk.

* * *

New York, August 24.
Cartwright Corporation stock made a dramatic recovery and rose to an unprecedented high as the first of the new Cartwright portable receivers found their way into circulation today. The portables, extremely attractive and entirely free from back talk, are made to sell at a very reasonable price.

* * *

New York, August 25.
Trading in Cartwright Corporation stock has been suspended, pending completion of an investigation to determine whether the recent sharp rises and falls have been due to behind-the-scenes manipulations. It has been rumored that speculator Nelson Ravagger and a small group of associates have made enormous profits from Cartwright's erratic behavior.

* * *

Washington, August 26.
Cyrus Cartwright, II, was again called to the stand as the Becker Committee attempts to unravel the facts concerning the reported transfer of a huge quantity of back-talk radio sets from Cartwright Corporation, by way of Nelson Ravagger, to the still missing Skybo Halante. In a savage exchange, Senator Becker today called Mr. Cartwright a "bold-faced liar." Mr. Cartwright had just described the alleged circumstances surrounding the original sale of the back-talkers.

* * *

New York, September 25.
Cartwright Corporation stock, following completion of the investigation into price-manipulation by insiders, continued to rise sharply this week, despite sporadic rumors that Nelson Ravagger and associates are now unloading most—if not all—their holdings.

* * *

Washington, September 29.
The Becker Committee has closed its investigation into the Cartwright Corporation back-talkers. Cyrus Cartwright, II, pale and drawn, grimly told reporters, "The last few months have been the most terrific experience in my life." Asked what he intended to do now that the investigation was over, Mr. Cartwright said, "Sleep."

* * *

Budapest, October 2.
Officials here have admitted for the first time that back-talkers are in fairly common use. They refuse to call their use a problem, however, saying that, thanks to the devices, people "let off steam," and "sometimes we get good suggestions." Several announcers have been sacked because of pointed back-talk comments.

* * *

New York, October 4.
Cyrus Cartwright, II, today announced that he was stepping down as active head of the Cartwright Corporation, though he will remain on the Board of Directors. Mr. Cartwright said he wished to "sort things over in my mind. I have the sensation that I have just stepped off a combined merry-go-round and Ferris wheel." Mr. Cartwright refused to criticize Mr. Ravagger, who is reputed to have effective control of the corporation.

* * *

New York, October 5.
Wall Street opinion is divided as to whether Nelson Ravagger actually controls large holdings of Cartwright stock at the moment. "It depends," a well-known speculator is reported to have said, "on whether the stock goes up or down. If it skyrockets, it will turn out that Ravagger has a big chunk of it. If it falls through the floor, we'll know for sure that he dumped it some time ago. You can't keep up with that guy. You can only reconstruct things afterward." Trading in the stock continues at a high level.

* * *

Washington October 6.
A broadcast lecture by political economist Sero Kulf, on the "continuing iniquitous aspects of an unsocialized philosophy" was interrupted today by comments, getting through the filtered microphone, of "Crank," "Cretin," "What do
you
know about it?" and by Dr. Kulf's own replies, which unfortunately got through before the program was cut off the air. Stronger filtering systems are reported to be in production against bootleg back-talkers.

* * *

Washington, October 12.
The uproar about back-talk radio sets seems to be gradually starting to die down. Senator William Becker remarked to reporters that "for the first time in fifteen years," he had listened to the radio the other day, and found it enjoyable. Mr. Becker feels that manufacturers are now getting the word about the more offensive commercials, and that the new system of filtering and registering complaints has led many stations to cut down on too frequent advertising. "This mess may," said the senator, "prove to have its compensations."

* * *

New York, October 24.
At a meeting of the Better Radio and TV Association, president Jack M. Straub today awarded the association's Distinguished Service Plaque to Cyrus Cartwright, II, and Nelson Ravagger, for "distinguished efforts which have resulted in vastly improving the dismal standard of radio and television broadcasting, by enabling listeners and viewers to record their actual feelings spontaneously and directly, rather than through the doubtful intermediary of sampling procedures."

Mr. Straub said that he will give an even bigger and better plaque to missing financier and reputed boot-leg-manufacturer Skybo Halante, "if someone will locate him for us."

"Communication," Mr. Straub added, "generally needs to be two-way to be effective."

 

High G

James M. Heyden, head of the Advanced Research Projects Division of the Continental Multitechnikon Corporation, blew his breath out exasperatedly, sat back in the expensive aggregation of pads and springs that served as his desk chair, and read the handwritten note again:

 
Jim
Pat tells me we are now so far ahead of the international competition, defensewise, that no large new government orders can be expected. Introduction of any new and revolutionary gimcrack at this time would, therefore, be most unwelcome and inexpedient. So put the new gimmicks on the back burner, and get going full blast on that Kiddie Kit Science Series. We'll expect rapid progress, as we want the first three Kits on the market at least ninety days before Christmas. Naturally the Moon Krawler should be one of these first Kits.
Any suggestions you may have for utilizing our now top-heavy staff of technicians and engineers would be appreciated. We assume you will cull the deadwood. Remember that in pruning, you want to cut pretty close into sound wood, as this actually promotes rapid healing and leaves no dead stump to fester.
Also, you will of course bear in mind that we have a little different approach, expensewise, on items for the general public, as opposed to rush government orders. The Krawler should retail at not over $13.95, according to market simulation on our big new MIMIC computer. The Krawler, remember, does not have to fit into a cramped space, or endure high acceleration, vacuum, or a lunar landing. It won't break our hearts if the thing fails to last long enough for our great-grandchildren to play with it on Mars; of course, it shouldn't fall apart before the holidays are over, either.
I know I don't have to spell this out for you, Jim. Ed and I are going to be out on the coast for a couple of weeks, enjoying the California smog, and trying out those twelve-lane, six-deck highways they brag about. If the merger goes through, we'll be gone another week, anyway, but that won't matter. We'll be so diversified then that nothing but another 1929 could really put us under.
So, bear down hard on the reconversion, streamlining, and rationalization of your operation. Incidentally, the MIMIC simulator indicates that the other two kits should sell, respectively, at $8.95 and $29.95. Obviously, you can shoot the works on the later model, though we'll expect a more generous profit, too.
Just what these other two kits should be, we don't know, as our programmer was evidently unable to figure out just how to put the question to the computer. The computer gave out nothing but gibberish on the subject. So we'll leave that up to you.
This is, of course, all
your
responsibility, Jim, but I hope you'll be generally guided by the spirit of these few suggestions.
We'll look forward to seeing things well along when we get back from Cal.

Stu

 

Heyden sat up straight, and swore. He hit the intercom button.

"Nell!"

There was a startled feminine squeak, "Sir?"

"Dig up that note from Stu Grossrad—the one he sent about eighteen months ago—the one that said 'full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes,' and so on."

"That was longer ago than eighteen months. I think"

"Never mind that. Dig it up. And the one before that—that one about blasting out a foxhole and hiding in it. And the one before that, too—I think there was one before that."

Heyden sat back and looked over the note. A fresh burst of profanity escaped him just as his secretary came in with several sheets of paper, and then, blushing bright pink, turned to leave.

"Hold on," said Heyden. He looked over the previous notes, and glanced up at her. "Listen to this: '. . . the sky's no limit, boy. With this monster government program shaping up, we can carve off any size chunk we can eat. So beef up your technical staff, get that wild blue yonder stuff out of the deep freeze, shove this low-key junk we're working on onto a back burner, and set your sights on Arcturus . . .'"

Heyden looked up in angry indignation. "There's three pages like that."

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