Prescription for Chaos (26 page)

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Authors: Christopher Anvil

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Stewart came back into the showroom.

Randy looked up. "He said he'd be back to look at the II when we get the Gnat fixed. I don't think it was a stunt to hurry us up. I think he wants a reliable computer even if it's behind the time."

"No matter what you buy just now, it will be behind the times pretty quick."

"It's a point." Randy frowned. "There's something here—some—"

"New approach to the consumer market? Possibly the industry has enough wonders for now, and ought to refine them?"

"Maybe, but also, there's a—a problem with people, aside from computers. And we're all people."

Stewart nodded. "It's almost sunk us. We've got a computer/human interface problem. Plus an expert/novice interface problem. But that Armagast program, anyway, was a good buy." He went back to his office.

Randy eyed the Shomizota printer he was supposed to make work with the Sharke Superbyte. Possibly he could get it to work despite the problems. Would that make him a sucker—or would it be good salesmanship?

From some dimly remembered book or article came a quote—"Send one customer away happy or mad, and you win or lose six others." That customer would tell his friends—Was it, maybe, sixteen others? Frowning, Randy remembered an earlier thought—there are bugs in human nature. And one was to expect everything of the new, while overlooking the familiar. Since computers involved so many things that were new, had the industry junked an unusual number of reliable truths?

At that moment, Stewart came back into the room and glanced at the printer.

"Any luck?"

"The documentation seems to be in Japanese. I have a hunch she got this from some friend who stopped off in Tokyo. But I'll see if I can get it."

Stewart nodded approvingly. "I just had a thought. That Armagast program seems to induce a—ah—a problem-solving approach. Now—Why shouldn't Mort have the advantage of it? True, he's part-time, but, just between you and me—"

"Yes. Good idea. I'll mention to him how interesting the program is."

"He'll be in Tuesday. I'll bring my machine. It should be a good test for the program."

Randy grinned. "I'll still bet on Armagast."

"If it works, we'll know he's really got something."

Stewart went back to his office, and Randy pried off the cover of the printer.

From some recess of his memory came a rough rendering of another comment, and this time he remembered who had said it—"If you have trouble in your organization, it will usually be people trouble. Therefore, value those who can solve people trouble."

As Randy eyed the printer's switches, unconsciously he adapted Andrew Carnegie's thoughts to his own line of work:

"If you have trouble with bugs, they may be hardware bugs or software bugs, but almost always they're the result of people. Therefore, value what can solve the trickiest bugs of all—people bugs."

 

THE FREE ENTERPRISE
Positive Feedback

 

SCHRAMM'S GARAGE

 
To: Jack W. Bailey
413 Crescent Drive
City

 
Parts: 1 set 22-638 brushes$1.18
Labor: overhaul generator
set regulator
clean battery terminals$11.00
total$12.18
Note
: Time for oil change and install new filter.
Noticed car seemed to pull to the left when we stepped on
the brake.
Can take care of it Wednesday if you want.

Joe Schramm

 

Dear Joe:

Check for $12.18 enclosed.

Will see about the oil change and filter later. The kids have been sick and we're going broke at this rate.

Maybe it pulls to the left, but I haven't noticed it.

Jack Bailey

 

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Mr. Joseph Schramm

Schramm's Garage

1428 West Ave.

Crescent City

 

Dear Mr. Schramm:

Enclosed find literature on our new Automated Car Service Handling Machine.

With this great new machine, you can service anything from a little imported car to a big truck. The Handling Machine just picks the vehicle up, and the Glider on its Universal Arm enables your mechanic to get at any part, from above or below. By just turning a few knobs, he glides right to the spot on the end of the Arm. Power grapples, twisters, engine-lifters, transmission-holders, dozen-armed grippers and wrasslers—all these make the toughest job easy.

If you've got a dozen mechanics, buy this machine and you can get along with three or four.

This machine will be the best buy of your life.

Truly yours,

G. Wrattan

Sales Manager

 

* * *

SCHRAMM'S GARAGE

Dear Mr. Wrattan:

This machine of yours would take up my whole shop. It's all-electric, and looks to me as if it would take the Government to pay the electric bills. Your idea that I could buy this thing and then let most of my mechanics go is a little dull. When business gets bad, I can
always
let them go. But with this monster machine of yours, I couldn't let
anybody
go, except the few guys I still had, who would be my best mechanics.

Do you know how hard it is to find a good mechanic?

Let's have the prices and information on your line of hydraulic jacks. Spare me the million-dollar-Robot-Garage stuff.

Yours truly,

J. Schramm

S
UPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Mr. Joseph Schramm

Schramm's Garage

1428 West Ave.

Crescent City

 

Dear Mr. Schramm:

Enclosed find prices and literature on our complete line of hydraulic jacks, jack-stands, and lifts.

Mr. Schramm, we feel that you do not fully appreciate the advantages of our great new Automated Car Service Handling Machine. This machine will more than pay for itself in speed, efficiency, and economical service. In bad times you could still cut down your repair staff. Mr. Schramm,
one man
can operate this machine.

We are enclosing a new brochure on this wonderful new labor-and-expense-saving machine, which will turn your garage into an ultramodern Servicatorium.

Cordially,

G. Wrattan

Sales Manager

 

* * *

SCHRAMM'S GARAGE

Dear Mr. Wrattan:

I'm enclosing an order sheet for jack and stands.

Your new brochure on your wonderful new labor and-expense-saving machine went straight into the furnace.

I think you are going to have plenty of trouble selling this machine. The reason is, all you're doing is to think how nice it will be for you if somebody buys it, not how lousy it will be for him to have the thing.

This machine will take cable as thick as my arm for the juice to run all those motors. It's bound to break down, and while I'm repairing it, I'm out of business.

You say I can let all my mechanics go but one. You must have a loose ground somewhere. If I fire all my mechanics but one, and he runs this machine,
who's the boss then
?

I could tell you what to do with this great new machine of yours, but I don't think you would do it.

Yours truly,

J. Schramm

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: W. W. Sanson, Pres.

Dear Mr. Sanson:

I am sending up a large envelope containing sample letters, from garages all over the country.

The response we've had on Handling Machines has been unusually large and emphatic, but unfortunately it has not been favorable.

G. Wrattan

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: G. Wrattan, Sales Mgr.

Dear Wrattan:

There are going to have to be some drastic changes around here.

Bring all the letters you have up to my office at once.

Sanson

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Mr. Joseph Schramm

Schramm's Garage

1428 West Ave.

Crescent City

 

Dear Mr. Schramm:

There have been big changes at Superdee! Exciting changes!

Following a complete overhaul of top engineering management personnel, things are moving again!

Superdee is on the march!

Leading the van is our revamped ultramodern Supramatic Car Service Handling Machine, capable of repairing anything from a little foreign car to a huge truck! Fast! Economical! Efficient!

This new version embodies the most advanced methods, together with the actual suggestions of
practical automotive repairmen like yourself!

This machine is hydraulically operated, and even has a special High Efficiency Whirlamatic Hand Pump in case of emergency power failure!

There's practicality!

There's real manufacturer co-operation!

You
asked for it!
Here it is!

Superdee is on the march!

Are you?

Cordially,

G. Wrattan

Sales Mgr.

 

* * *

SCHRAMM'S GARAGE

Dear Mr. Wrattan:

I am enclosing an order for one of your new Superdeeluxe jacks.

I have read the stuff about your new Supramatic Machine. This one doesn't take as much space, and seems to be pretty good.

But I can't afford it.

Yours truly,

J. Schramm

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: W. W. Sanson, Pres.

Dear Mr. Sanson:

Well, we've sold three of them.

G. Wrattan

 

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: G. Wrattan, Sales Mgr.

Dear Wrattan:

We've got to do better than this or we'll all be lined up at the employment office in just about six months.

How about a big advertising campaign?

Sanson

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: W. W. Sanson, Pres.

Dear Mr. Sanson:

It won't work. This machine would theoretically improve just about any fair-sized repair shop's efficiency, but it's still too expensive.

To judge by the response, we now have an acceptable Handler here. In time, it's bound to take hold, despite the cost, and obtain wide acceptance.

But this won't happen in six months.

G. Wrattan

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: W. Robert Schnitzer, Mgr. Special Services Dept.

Dear Schnitzer:

Since you ran the computerized market simulation, on the basis of which we made this white elephant, I suggest you now find some way to unload it.

I would hate to be the man whose recommendations, presented in the guise of scientific certainty, were so disastrous that they destroyed the company that paid his salary.

A reputation such as that could make it quite difficult to find another job.

Sanson

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: W. W. Sanson, Pres.

Dear Mr. Sanson:

I have been giving this matter a great deal of thought, and have analyzed it on the Supervac-666.

The trouble is, the average individual does not use the available automotive repair facilities to a sufficient extent to assure the garage owner of enough income to afford our machine.

This is roughly analogous to the situation in the health industries some years ago.

I believe we might find a similar solution to be useful in this case.

W. R. Schnitzer

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: W. Robert Schnitzer, Mgr. Special Services Dept.

Dear Schnitzer

I frankly don't follow what you're talking about, but I am prepared to listen.

Come on up, and let's have it.

Sanson

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: G. Wrattan, Sales Mgr.

Dear Wrattan:

Schnitzer has one of the damndest ideas I ever heard of, but it might just work.

I am getting everybody up here to meditate on this, and want to find out how it strikes you.

This
could
be a gold mine, provided we can get the insurance people interested.

Sanson

 

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: G. Wrattan, Sales Mgr.

Dear Wrattan:

You will be interested to know after that discussion we had about Schnitzer's idea, that the insurance people are closely studying it. I could see whirling dollar signs in their eyes as I gave them the exact pitch Schnitzer gave me.

If they
do
go ahead, the banks will take a much rosier view of our prospects. We may weather this thing yet.

Sanson

 

* * *

FORESYTE INSURANCE

"In Unity, Strength"

Since 1906

 

Dear Car Owner:

How many times have you suffered inconvenience and delay, because of auto failures and breakdowns? Yet how often have you hesitated to have your car checked, and repairs carried out that might have prevented these delays and breakdowns—
because you were short of cash at the moment
?

You need no longer suffer this inconvenience.
Now you can prepay your car repair bills
!

We call this our Blue Wheel car repair insurance plan. We are sure it will pay you to send in the coupon below, right away.

We can afford to make this offer because many cars will need no repairs, and the premiums for
those
cars will pay
your
repair bills. Send in the coupon today!

Cordially,

P. J. Devereaux

President

 

 

Schramm's Garage

1428 West Ave.

City

 

Dear Joe:

About that oil change and new filter: I've got Blue Wheel insurance now, so take care of it.

While the car's in there, check that pull to the left you mentioned.

Jack Bailey

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