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171
‘had attempted to do'
: Massine,
My Life in Ballet
, p. 152.

171
‘very sensitive to'
: Nijinska,
Early Memoirs
, p. 456.

171
‘unjust'
: Berg,
Le Sacre du printemps
, p. 41.

171
‘by far the best'
: Rambert,
Quicksilver: The Autobiography of Marie Rambert
, p. 59; Nijinska,
Early Memoirs
, p. 471.

171
‘This year … always admired'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 265.

172
‘Massine's aim is'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 37.

172
‘Massine a taste for fame'
: ibid., p. 102.

172
‘terrible beauty … in
everything
'
: Easton,
The Red Count
, p. 208.

172
‘all the … whole company'
: Buckle,
Nijinsky
, p. 342.

172
‘one single excruciating'
: Tamara Nijinsky,
Nijinsky and Romola
, p. 111.

172
‘Now I am beginning'
: Gold and Fizdale,
Misia: The Life of Misia Sert
, p. 123.

173
‘avaricious [and] … nobody did'
: Melville,
Diaghilev and Friends
, p. 127.

173
‘that cretinous lackey'
: Holroyd,
Lytton Strachey: a Critical Biography
, Vol. II, p. 109.

8 MEPHISTO VALSE, 1914–1918

174
‘All these young men'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 272.

175
‘quarrelled for eighteen months'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 211.

175
‘I loved her'
: ibid., p. 142.

175
‘small silk panties'
: ibid., p. 48.

175
‘an enchanted habitation'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 279.

176
‘invent signs which'
: M. Sandoz,
The Crystal Salt Cellar
(Guildford, 1954), p. 66.

176
‘But we loved it'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 280.

177
‘I now have a family … such conditions?'
: ibid., p. 317.

178
‘Everyone but Kahn'
: Sokolova,
Dancing for Diaghilev
, p. 80.

178
‘harmed rather than abetted'
: Tamara Nijinsky,
Nijinsky and Romola
, p. 132.

178
‘extremely pretty … creative urge'
: Magriel,
Nijinsky, Pavlova, Duncan: Three Lives in Dance
, pp. 46–7.

179
‘I am quartered'
: ibid., p. 47.

179
‘energy, his ardour'
: ibid., p. 51.

180
‘suspicious of everyone'
: Grigoriev,
The Diaghilev Ballet, 1909–1929
, p. 111.

180
‘universally loved despite'
: Bourman,
The Tragedy of Nijinsky
, p. 235.

180
‘pompous [and] … totally'
: ibid., p. 253.

180
‘when he came on stage'
: Keynes,
Lydia Lopokova
, p. 2.

180
‘I had never imagined'
: Garafola,
Diaghilev's Ballets
Russes, p. 203.

181
‘She puts into his mouth'
: Sokolova,
Dancing for Diaghilev
, p. 91.

181
‘not high enough'
: Magriel,
Nijinsky, Pavlova, Duncan: Three Lives in Dance
p. 58.

181
‘Your scenery is so bad'
: ibid., p. 56.

181
‘drenched in pathos'
: ibid., p. 58.

182
‘taken out of'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 159.

182
‘from the front lines'
: Garafola,
Diaghilev's Ballets Russes
, p. 73.

182
‘the most magnificent'
: O. Sitwell,
Great Morning
(London, 1948), p. 242.

182
$250,000
: Garafola,
Diaghilev's Ballets
Russes, p. 206.

182
‘negro who makes love'
: Buckle,
Nijinsky
, p. 360.

182
‘a serious man'
: C. Chaplin,
My Autobiography
(London, 1964), p. 206.

182
‘The mystic world'
: ibid., p. 205.

183
‘
un très grand artiste
'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 142.

183
‘intense poignancy'
: Seymour,
Ottoline Morrell: Life on a Grand Scale,
p. 232.

183
‘far more … they express'
: Gathorne-Hardy (ed.),
Ottoline: the Early Memoirs of Lady Ottoline Morrell
, p. 239.

184
‘I see a divorce … worse … worse'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 349.

185
‘felt as if'
: ibid., p. 353.

185
‘hot blooded heterosexual'
: Richardson,
Picasso
, vol. 3,
The Triumphant
Years, p. 7.

186
‘lots of cherries'
: Sandoz,
The Crystal Salt Cellar
, p. 53.

186
‘fatter and fatter'
: Gold and Fizdale,
Misia: The Life of Misia Sert
, p. 171. Letter dated 1915.

186
‘burst into the lobby … prove it'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, pp. 357–8.

186
‘the music … but, instead'
: Stravinsky and Craft,
Stravinsky in Pictures and Documents
, p. 512.

186
‘where the violent … stand that'
: A. Rubinstein,
My Many Years
(London, 1980), p. 11.

187
‘He had an instinctive'
: Massine,
My Life in Ballet
, pp. 86–7.

187
‘but like two accomplices'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 361.

187
‘I sensed now'
: ibid., p. 362.

188
‘
Femmka
, I am sorry'
: ibid., p. 366.

188
‘I wanted to'
: ibid., p. 369.

189
‘how beautiful he was'
: F. Reiss,
Nijinsky: A Biography
(London, 1960), p. 168.

189
‘One of the most endearing'
: ibid., p. 168.

189
‘as so many vermin … him bitterly'
: Oliveroff,
Flight of the Swan: A Memory of Anna Pavlova
, p. 168.

189
‘feverishly concerned'
: ibid., p. 161.

190
‘utterly foreign world'
: ibid., p. 164.

190
‘better than ever'
: Rubinstein,
My Many Years
, p. 12.

190
‘She was cunning'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 142.

191
‘Nijinsky gave a few … endless ovation'
: Rubinstein,
My Many Years
, p. 16.

9 SPECTRE, 1918–1950

192
‘our house … happy one'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, pp. 386–7.

193
‘I like family life'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 225.

193
‘a very happy'
: Tamara Nijinsky,
Nijinsky and Romola
, p. 179, quoting a letter from Marta Grant in the
Daily Telegraph
, September 1979.

193
‘Romola was the most '
: Marta Grant in Tamara Nijinsky,
Nijinsky and Romola
, p. 182.

193
‘looked like … it already'
: ibid., pp. 179–80.

193
‘We decided to'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 393.

194
‘God said to me'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 14.

194
‘did not slip'
: P. Ostwald,
Vaslav Nijinsky: A Leap into Madness
(London, 1991), p. 226.

195
‘an exquisite little girl … to grow'
: Sandoz,
The Crystal Salt Cellar
, p. 66.

196
‘Oh no! Her grandfather'
: ibid., p. 68.

196
‘show how dances'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 406.

196
‘I will tell her'
: ibid., p. 406.

196
‘How dare you disturb me!'
: ibid., p. 407.

196
‘We're at war'
: Sandoz,
The Crystal Salt Cellar
, p. 72.

197
‘Now I will dance'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 407.

197
‘And we saw'
: Sandoz,
The Crystal Salt Cellar
, p. 73.

198
‘it was the dance'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 408.

198
‘A shiver of fear … delicious grace'
: Sandoz,
The Crystal Salt Cellar
, p. 75.

198
‘It must be very, very difficult'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 408.

198
‘The audience came'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, pp. 6–7.

198
‘the sentences repeated'
: Romola Nijinsky,
Nijinsky; and, The last years of Nijinsky
, p. 409.

199
‘To my knowledge'
: Nijinsky (ed.),
Diary of Vaslav Nijinsky
, p. vii.

199
‘means intuitive perception'
: ibid., p. xlix.

199
‘I am afraid'
: ibid., p. 10.

199
‘I am God in man'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 32.

199
‘Reading it is like'
: M. B. Siegel,
Mirrors and Scrims: The Life and Afterlife of
Ballet (Middletown, CT, 2010), p. 19.

200
‘to find out'
: J. D. Salinger,
Franny and Zooey
(Boston, MA, 1961), p. 33.

200
‘I am not a magician'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 73.

200
‘I will eat everyone'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 154.

200
‘who prevent small birds'
: ibid., p. 37.

201
‘To understand … well developed'
: ibid., p. 30.

201
‘I am an Egyptian'
: ibid., p. 44.

201
‘I am a peasant'
: ibid., p. 184.

201
‘terrible things … terrible thing'
: ibid., pp. 155–6.

201
‘not want people to think'
: ibid., p. 104.

202
‘You do not want to live with me'
: ibid., pp. 256 and 261.

202
‘had enough of this'
: ibid., p. 10.

202
‘You think I am stupid'
: ibid., p. 128.

202
‘more than anyone else'
: ibid., p. 21.

203
‘I do not like'
: ibid., p. 56.

203
‘splinters and mosaics'
: quoted in J. Lehrer,
Proust was a Neuroscientist
(Edinburgh, 2012), p. 177.

203
‘loves me in his heart'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 89.

203
‘He is a tidy man'
: ibid., p. 163.

203
‘She thinks that love'
: ibid., p. 29.

203
‘wants money because'
: ibid., p. 174.

203
‘I am an unthinking'
: ibid., p. 52.

203
‘whirring of wings'
: Virginia Woolf in Lehrer,
Proust was a Neuroscientist
, p. 171.

203
‘The quality of abstraction … seldom understood'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. xli.

204
‘Later, too, I came to understand'
: Stravinsky and Craft,
Memories and Commentaries
, p. 35.

204
‘he had no reason'
: C. Wilson,
The Outsider
(London, 1990), p. 103.

204
‘a verbal expression'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 1 (FitzLyon's note).

204
‘I am standing … abandoned by God'
: ibid., p. xxv.

204
‘I feel so much pain'
: ibid., pp. 144–5.

204
‘I have been told'
: ibid., pp. 151–2.

205
‘something
total
… and nowhere'
: Kavanagh,
Rudolf Nureyev: The Life
, p. 187.

205
‘more abundant life'
: Wilson,
The Outsider
, p. 101.

205
‘the working life … entirely destructive'
: John Russell quoted in John Heilpern article in
The Times
, 2 January 1982.

205
‘I want to dance'
: Nijinsky,
Nijinsky's Diary
, p. 4.

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